"Sic Semper Baroness!" The Conclusion

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Silver Aegis awoke alone and bewildered on the desolate field. The earth was torn and muddied, the trees bent and burned, the air choked with acrid smoke, as if some great battle or cataclysm had taken place here. It took a while for the seasoned combat veteran to find his voice.

"Where... where am I?" the Shield Flinger wondered aloud.

From behind him someone answered, "Isn't it obvious, Scott?"

Spinning around, Scott Scoggins was stunned to see the a tired looking woman in a gingham dress and shawl, "Mother?"

"Yes," the rail thin figure stepped forward and looked up into the eyes of the Patriotic Powerhouse, "Oh, my poor, poor boy; what did you do to deserve to be sent here?"

"Here?" Silver Aegis scanned the terrain, his mind racing, "No. That would mean.... no. We can't, we don't belong here!"

"Of course we do, Scott. We were both sinners in life, sinners who deserve to be punished for our wickedness."

"That's not true!" the man countered hotly. He took hold of the woman's wrists and held them to his chest, "You were a good person, who did what she had to do to raise her son."

"And look at the result. What a prideful, arrogant man you have become."

The condemnation struck the Silver Aegis like a body blow. He staggered back, "What do you mean?"

But the shade of Mary Scoggins did not reply. Instead she stumbled as the ground around her split open and swallowed her.

"Noooooo!" the Man Out of Time and Place lunged forward to try and stop her fall, but a powerful grip caught his shoulder.

"I do not think so!" a thrumming voice commanded, "You and I have much to discuss, and we need no witness!"

The new arrival was nearly seven feet tall. A dark black greatcoat hung from his massive shoulders. Indeed, the man was clothed entirely in black, from the tip of his cap to the soles of his jackboots. The only other color visible was the baleful red gleam emitting from his eyes, "Your time has run out, Silver Aegis; say Guten Tag to Auf Wiedersehen!!!!"

"Krieghandler!" the Aegis tried to twist free from his nemesis, "Let me go! I have to save her!"

The Fascist Frankenstein of Flesh and Metal chuckled, "You cannot! That painted woman doomed herself long ago!"

SLAM!! Krieghandler hurled Silver Aegis into a nearby tree, which suddenly sprung to seeming sentience, its warped, blackened branches catching him and holding him fast.

"Ach, now that I have your full attention," the villain sneered, "We can begin."

Clasping his gauntleted hands behind his back, the Warmonger began to pace, "As you are now aware, your long battle is over, and you have lost. 'Evil' has triumphed, despite all your efforts. And you can see your reward," he absently waved an arm at their surroundings.

"You stood in the path of destiny, and were steamrolled," the Teutonic Terror tutted, "It must hardly seem worth it, Nein?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Oh, you will, Amerikaner, you will say that and more, once WE are finished with you," and, on cue, several other of the Silver Aegis's time lost foes appeared through the haze. Kabuki-San. Dr Chimera and his Monstrosities. Mayhem Man. Them and others still, "You will tell us all your crimes, starting with how you corrupted the youth of Parodiopolis into joining your infernal Scrapper Brigades!"

The Argent Avenger struggled, not just to escape his predicament, but make sense of it. Could he really have passed to the other side, and be facing an eternity of torment at the hands of his old enemies? Was that truly his fate?

"No," he said aloud to the encroaching horde. For if that was true, then everything he had learned had been a lie. And they never would have betrayed him. Not his mother, and not-

WWWHHHIIIRRRR! KA-RACK! The blue circular shield ringed with thirteen stars struck the thickest branch that held the Silver Aegis, shattering the limb. With herculean effort he pulled free, and watched as the greatest man he had ever known arrived to save him one last time.

"Look alive, old chum: the war's not over yet!" the Golden Aegis shouted from above. He lay down a suppressive fire with his tommy gun, keeping the villains off balance until he could complete his air drop. He cut away his parachute so it would enshroud one of Chimera's homonculi, then KO'd it with a textbook uppercut.

"This isn't real," Silver Aegis noted as he wrenched the shield free, "Its some trick of the Von Zemos. Illusions. Like those doomsday futures Grey Specter showed us with that phony 'magic mirror' of his."

"We're in a Virtual World, Scott, who knows what's real and what's not?" Golden Aegis bashed Kabuki-San with his own shamisen, "But you're right, so let's put the kibosh on this crooked quilting circle and you can go give those Jerrys what for!"

Silver Aegis punched Gangster Zero right in the aught and then tried to hand over the weapon to his mentor.

"I don't think so, Silver Aegis," he said while judo flipping the fiery Napalmist into the chittering hive mind that was the Communist Manifestation, "You've held it longer than I have. That shield is yours."

"The man who used it first used it best, Golden Aegis," Scoggins retorted as he kicked a Monstrosity in one of its jaws.

The hulking form of Der Krieghandler loomed into view, "I will kill you both! The legacy of the Aegis ends NOW! This, I swear!!!"

"Who are you trying to kid? The only thing ending here is this charade," and, as further proof of the surreality of the situation, the Silver Aegis willed a second shield for his partner to fight with.

The Auric Adventurer took note of his new accessory and smiled, "Good thinking."

Later, once the battle was complete and our heroes could fully commiserate:

"This is as far as I can go, pal; everything else is up to you," Golden Aegis said as he shook hands with his former sidekick.

"I figured," Scott Scoggins paused for a moment, "This may just have been a hallucination, but it was good to see you again, Roger."

The Hermes Helmed Hero repeated an earlier comment, "Who knows what's real and what's not these days, old chum? Just keep making me proud," and with a wink he disappeared.

The rest of Silver Aegis's surroundings quickly followed, revealing a new predicament.

"I'm strapped to a chair... in some lab!" his hazel eyes darted over to the intravenous drip at his side, "And being pumped full of some kind of drug!"

A nearby technician jumped when he heard the Aegis's voice, "The subject is awake! Quick, increase the dosage of the Psycho Serum!!" he ordered his colleague.

RRRRRIP! was the sound of tearing restraints, "No way, you Dime Store Mengeles! This patient is checking out!!"

The Silver Aegis quickly subdued the pair with well placed karate chops, "I have to move quickly, before someone comes by to check up on me- what?!!"

KLANG! The ventillation system's grillework fell to the floor, and a large, tawny figure pounced.

Ramona, the Tiger Woman, had arrived.



*****



From behind her mahogany desk, Elizabeth Sweetwater Dewdrop Von Zemo pursed her lips and acknowledged her audience, "Citizens of Earth, your Baroness thanks you. Thanks you for all your messages of gratitute for saving the world from certain doom at the hands of the invading forces of the Parody Master. We are well pleased.

"However, there are some who do not appreciate their rescue from that cosmic Visigoth. There is a pit of vipers nesting in the bosom of my would-be Eden. The demented phengophobe who calls himself the Dark Knight. The inscrutable Psychic Samurai. And the roving bands of juvenile delinquents known collectively as the Scrapper Brigade.

"The Baroness is calling on her subjects to report any and all information about these quislings-"

"*Ahem*," Baron Otto, rumbled in disapproval at this impromptu addition to the script. The Nazi Necromancer had served with Vidkun Quisling. He knew Vidkun Quisling. Vidkun Quisling was a friend of his. And Gregory Burch was no Vidkun Quisling.

"Easy, Otto baby," the broadcast's director comforted from his station in the booth, "We're almost out."

The Baron made a note to add the pissant to his rolls of zombification subjects.

"- and then the fire-breathing grizzlies will have their turn!!" the Baroness put an exclamation point on the threat with several thumps to the desktop. After composing herself, she checked the teleprompter for her last words.

That was when the Silver Aegis crashed through the ceiling and dropped into the studio. He kicked the cameraman insensate and flung his shield, angling its trajectory so that the resultant caroms would disable the armed stormtroopers flanking the stage.

"Scoggins! How did you escape the lab and get past the security checkpoints?" the Baroness demanded before snatching up her disintigration Luger and firing futilily into the Aegis's returned shield.

KAZZZARKT! The Star Spangled Sensation glanced briefly at the ductwork. Not only had Ramona shown him the best route to ambush the Zemos, she had reunited the hero with his missing shield, "I guess you could say I have friends in crawlspaces," he quipped.

"I would never say that," Elizabeth retorted imperiously, "Sally, dispose of this cretin."

Silicone Sally stretched forward, "Sorry, Gorgeous, but its time to wrap this up."

The Argent Avenger ducked under the woman's extended arms and produced a makeshift grenade he had cobbled together in the lab, "I'm ready for you this time, Ms. Rezilyant."

PHWOOOSH! The hurled cannister released a cloud of liquid nitrogen, immobilizing the formerly Flexible Felon.

"She should be able to think of a way to warm her body back to malleability," Silver Aegis exposited as he stalked towards the Baroness, "But that should keep her out of my hair long enough to deal with you.

"You think you've won, Aegis? I can have a hundred soldiers in this studio with a bat of an eyelash!" Beth argued.

"Send a hundred, send a thousand, it won't matter. You'll never win, Von Zemo. Bullies never do."

"Ach, what empty rhetoric!" Baron Otto observed as he materialized, "If I had a Pfennig every time some cleft chinned do-gooder had told me that-"

"You'd still be dead," Silver Aegis finished. He turned back to Beth, "You let your ancestor's twisted view of the world corrupt you, when you should have learned a different lesson from his failures."

"Oh, really?" the Baroness sneered, "Who has an entire planet at her command again?"

"You don't command me, villain; that's why I can do this!" the Silver Aegis sprang forward and grabbed Elizabeth by the wrist. Dragging her across his lap, the Man Out of Time and Place demonstrated some old school discipline on the Baroness while all her subjects everywhere watched.

SMACK!

"Ouch!"

SMACK!

"Ow! Let me-"

SMACK!

"Ouch! -go you Philistine!"

SMACK!

"Ow! Release me!"

Baron Otto stood stunned. A Von Zemo had not been treated thusly since his great great-uncle Ludwig, and that had been voluntary.

SMACK!

"Owowowow!"

SMACK!

"Jerk! Ow!"

SMACK!

"Ouch! *sniffle* HAGGIE! Hallp!"

The holographic entity that had aided the Baroness in her gambit to digitize Earth and shift it to the Virtual Realm appeared on the bank of screens in the control room, "What is- ? Oh. Heh."

And with that brief chuckle, that barest glimpse of joviality from the normally shrewish creation of Herr Doktor Vizhnarr, the Clumsy Clutch of Contrivance intervened. A glitch in the software appeared, and the Silver Aegis was deconstructed to his basic electrons and sent to a remote part of the Yucatan jungle, away from the empire, and the wrath, of the Zemos.

The End. At least for this part of the story. If you want to see how the Zemos meet defeat, check out The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom, and look for Untold Tales 314-316.