NOTE: I can't think of a title for this, so I'm taking suggestions.

    Harvester strode up to the Lair Mansion with a purpose to his step. The purpose was backed by a large deal of money, and Harvester liked money. He also liked property damage. It was really a very good combination.

    A lone figure exited the Lair Mansion to greet the villain. “I think you’re lost,” Hatman said calmly.

    Harvester grinned and cracked his metal knuckles. “Don’t think so. I was hired for a demolition job.” He pretended to check a piece of paper in the palm of his hand. “Yup, this is the place.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“On account of the waffles inside getting cold I’m going to give you one chance to walk away,” Hatman warned the automaton. He didn’t mention that with such a depleted roster and Hallie in the middle of a maintenance cycle he was the only Legionnaire in the mansion.

    Harvester took a deliberate and exaggerated step forward. “One.”

    Hatman unsnapped his Steelers cap from his belt. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Hatman grew in size and his skin took on a metallic grey tone. He charged the villainous robot then, not wanting to subject the mansion to more damage.

    With a roar Harvester sprinted forward to meet the charge. The two collided in a mass of metal, the force of their collision shaking the very island. It quickly became apparent as they battled that Hatman was the more skilled combatant, but Harvester was tough enough that he didn’t need to be.

    Hatman allowed the force of one of Harvester’s punches to knock him back, giving him some distance from the murderous robot. “You’re tough, I’ll give you that. But it’ll take more than strength to beat me,” Hatman warned him.

    Harvester shrugged. “Not a problem.” Vicious blades sprung out of his arms and began to whirl around. “I’ll just thresh the life outta you instead.”

    As the murderous robot advanced, Hatman slammed a Tampa Bay Lightning cap onto his head and seared the former Farm Machine in a brilliant lightning blast. Hatman quickly reformed and removed the hat; the more exotic the transformation the weaker he became. He tried to hide the fact he was breathing hard.

    Harvester took in a deep artificial breath and stretched his arms out wide. “Thanks for the boost.” Harvester came in swinging, the blades twirling on his arms threatening to tear Hatman to pieces.

    Hatman barely had time to pull his Los Angeles Dodgers cap onto his head before Harvester was upon him. Hatman bobbed and weaved, keeping one step ahead of the robot, but barely. A growl grew in Harvester’s throat, his frustration at his inability to strike the Legionnaire growing.

    Hatman knew he had to go on the offensive soon, as Harvester was getting closer and closer to connecting. He used his next bounce to put some distance between himself and the horticultural horror, then flipped to his Toronto Blue Jays cap. Blue wings sprouted from his back to gain some altitude, buying him some precious time to think.

    Harvester wasn’t prepared to wait for him. Flaps popped out from his arms and his feet locked together. A small flap raised on his back, and the flame from a rocket flared out from beneath it. Harvester took to the air, giving chase to the capped crusader.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Ever hear of a crop duster?!” he laughed as Hatman scrambled out of his way. Hatman was slower than Harvester, but he had greater maneuverability.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Alright, that’s it, you asked for it,” Hatman declared. Hatman’s wings beat harder as he got above Harvester. He then switched to a Giants cap, and he began to fall.

    Before Harvester could get out of the way, Hatman delivered a devastating two handed blow to the automaton, backed by the force of gravity on his gargantuan frame and the extra strength his over-sized muscles provided. The robot crashed to the ground, making a small crater where he landed.

    Hatman landed feet first on Harvester, grinding his heel in to crush the villain. A sharp pain in his foot forced him off; Harvester had released the blades on his arms again.

    Harvester stumbled out of the crater, his equilibrium shaken. “Nice shot,” he admitted, readjusting his hat. “But it’s not enough. How can you beat the combined power of every farm machine created?”

    Hatman considered that, then reached into the folds of his Hatility Belt and pulled out a rarely used hat. “Oh really?” he challenged.

* * * * *

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So how did you beat him?” CSFB! exclaimed excitedly, bouncing up and down.

    Hatman pulled his reheated waffles out from the microwave. “Well, I didn’t exactly beat him, he escaped. I would have gone after him but with nobody here at the Mansion I was worried about Harvester being a diversion for an attack on the house.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So how did you get rid of him then?”

    Hatman pointed to the green and yellow hat on the kitchen table.



~Hat~
(What can I say, I wanted to write something and felt like just doing a fight scene, no plot no muss! )