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Anime Jason 
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In Reply To
HH is mildly worried about the question mark after To Be Continued.

Subj: The question mark is part of a theme.
Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2012 at 01:19:24 pm EST (Viewed 657 times)
Reply Subj: I'll need to reread the various parts consecutively to see how they flow and pace, but this is certainly good setting-setting.
Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2012 at 07:37:57 am EST (Viewed 3 times)



    Quote:
    What I mean is that you're currently doing a very strong job of painting in the characters and making us invest in them. I'd need to read the story as a whole before I could say whether the reader would be wanting something to blow up to punctuate the exposition. I think it's okay, but that's something I always have to watch for in my writing.


I personally found it more interesting to create a hold-your-breath moment. I hope it worked. \:\) I wanted it to look really dangerous, but then show how restraint won out. Next time it may not.



    Quote:
    In a novel revision there's always the option to cutaway to other cast too, such as showing the bad guys laying out their schemes.


That's in the next part.





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