Adventures in Parodyverse: The Wedding Part 3


    Yuki Shiro was the first one outside to look at the spectacle outside of the Lair Mansion.  Following close behind her was Hatman, and then CrazySugarFreakBoy!, and Hallie.

    The Psychic Samurai stood with her sheathed sword, and Vinnie De Soth behind her, at the foot of the steps to the mansion.  Behind her, the grounds of the mansion were covered by hundreds of the walking dead.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“A confrontation is at hand.”  Chiaki Bushido told the assembled Lair Legion.  “We must take this army and face Marvin Hallerman and the Hooded Hood.”

    Vinnie said, pointed his thumb behind him at the zombies.  “They kind of followed her here.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Go on, Chiaki, say it.”  CSFB! urged her.  “You know you want to.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah, go for it,”  Yuki echoed.

    Chiaki smirked a little and took a deep breath.  “Lair Legion, taiwokumu!”


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What did you do?”  Liu Xi Xian asked as she stared into the dimly lit room, and the flames around her fists extinguished.

    She referred to the fact that the Hooded Hood was frozen in his robes.  His eyes glowed green, but he did not move.  Marvin Hallerman was in a similar state.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s a time delay,”  Faite replied.  “The Lair Legion should be here very soon.  This is all I could do to keep you from being killed before they arrive.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Aren’t they fighting zombies?”  Liu Xi asked.

    Faite smirked, and then laughed.  “Oh, wait until you learn what happened with that.”

    Before Liu Xi had a chance to reply to that, the filthy large window in the room shattered, and the bars that covered it were scattered in pieces all over the room.  The undead started to stream in from the opening, and they were all headed straight for Marvin Hallerman.

    Then Faite’s time delay released.  The Hooded Hood already knew what was going to happen, so his first act was to change things so that the first wave of zombies never bothered to leave their graves.  But there were more.  Lots more.  And they were tearing through the floor of the room.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Clever, Samurai,”  the Hood commented.  He knew that she realized that Herringcarp Asylum had hundreds of years of improperly treated and killed, and angry, people buried beneath it.

    The Hooded Hood raised the sword that he had now suddenly managed to seize from the Psychic Samurai as she came through the window behind the zombies.  He threw the sheath to the floor, and with one stroke, sliced off the head of Hatman as the Caped Crusader came through the window behind Chiaki.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I fulfilled my part of the bargain,”  he told Marvin Hallerman as Hatman’s head tumbled to the floor.  “I brought you the Lair Legion, and Hatman’s head.  I now take my leave.”

    With a glow of green eyes, and a swish of his robe, the Hooded Hood was gone.

    There was a horrible scream as the zombies turned on Marvin Hallerman, and knocked him and his throne to the ground.  They started to tear limbs and flesh from his body, and eat him alive.  He was lucky only in that those undead had broken a major artery fairly early on, and he lost consciousness to end his suffering.

    After that, the zombies simply shambled off, filing out of the opening in the window to resume their eternal slumber.  There was nothing left of Marvin Hallerman except for a puddle of blood, and an empty throne.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well...could have been worse.”  Yuki shuffled over to the decapitated Hatman and sighed.  Ever so slightly, a green-tinted grid flickered over the Hatman on the ground.  “Looks like you won the bet, Vinnie.”

    Vinnie sighed.  “I hope Hatman isn’t mad about me banishing him to that dimension for a few hours.  I had to take him way far out of the equation.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It happened to him before,”  CSFB! pointed out.

    The headless holographic Hatman reformed into a blob of pixels, and then into Hallie, who returned to her feet and stumbled.  “That kind of hurt, you know.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You can get him back from there, right?”  Yuki asked Vinnie.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Umm...well, it’s complicated.  If I get the timing right--”

    Hatman fell to the floor with a thud.  He was covered in some sort of pink slime, and he was quivering.  Liu Xi quickly modified the fabric off of the Hooded Hood’s throne into a blanket, and threw it over Hatman to warm him up.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, well there you go!”  Vinnie announced, pretending he meant to do it that way.

    Yuki stood over Hatman and shook her head.  “We should get out of here,”  she said.  “That holographic decapitation fooled Hallerman but it won’t fool the Hooded Hood.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What do you mean?”  Liu Xi asked.  “He just...?”

    Yuki shook her head again.  “He said he fulfilled his part of the bargain.  As in he didn’t specify which Hatman’s head he would deliver.  Thing is, he never has just one plan, and we’re standing at ground zero of his living room.  And he wouldn’t try to capture us until...”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“...you’re all here,”  The Hooded Hood completed, sounding amused.  “Very good, Ms Shiro.  You are as skilled a detective as your reputation indicates.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I think he’s being sarcastic with me.”  Yuki grumbled to no one in particular.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“If you want to take Hatman’s head, you have to go through me first,”  Liu Xi Xian promised.

    The Hooded Hood ignored her, and moved toward Faite.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Your power is protected because it is granted by the sheer will of the universe,”  he said.  “But becoming a human teenager, and living among your friends...it was a choice you made.  An unfortunate one.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t you dare.”  Faite narrowed her eyes.

    The Hood smiled evilly.  “I wouldn’t dream of taking away your choice.  I believe you will suffer much more because of it.”

    Chiaki Bushido spoke up.  “You do this because your own power makes you miserable.  Playing these games is the only thing left that amuses you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Perhaps you can amuse me more effectively?”  he asked.

    Yuki lunged forward, but Chiaki stopped her.  The Samurai didn’t even blink, she knew he was trying to make her angry.  “Perhaps I can offer you friendship instead.  You would have to learn not to use me, of course.”

    The Hooded Hood said nothing, and stood perfectly still.  Chiaki did the same, staring him down and waiting for a reply.  Then the Hooded Hood sneered, and his eyes flashed green, and he was gone again.

    The Psychic Samurai was gone, too.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, no.  This isn’t good.”  Yuki said.


---


    The Psychic Samurai looked around at the deep green grass, and raging waves crashing upon a rocky shore close by.  The sky was a cloudy grey, and the wind cut through her leather jacket viciously.  She held on tightly to her sword, and tried not to think about how cold she was.  There was a spot in the middle of the island where a lighthouse used to be, and a thin land bridge with a road in the middle led to it.

    Nearby, the Hooded Hood watched her, but said nothing.

    She asked fearlessly, “Why are you so afraid that you had to retcon your own family?  That you had to sever ties with your own son?”

    The Hood moved ever so slightly at her question.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Not ready to answer those questions for me yet, I assume,”  Chiaki whispered mostly to herself.

    Then she looked around again, and her calm expression faltered.  “This is where the wedding will occur, isn’t it?”

    His head turned slightly as if to acknowledge that she already knew the answer to that.  “Liu Xi Xian will be invited, of course, by Vincent De Soth out of love and friendship.”

    Chiaki moved toward the wide circle in the middle of the island again.  There were faint etchings in the ground.  She immediately felt alarmed.  “They need a sacrifice.”

    Then the Samurai realized how he ended that sentence.  “You said friendship.  You used that word as if it’s something I need to learn from.”

    Still no answer from the Hooded Hood.  Instead, he kept to the original topic.  “The De Soth family likes Liu Xi Xian’s power.  They will take it from her, and cast it upon Vincent’s new bride.  They will obtain the perfect specimen to add to their family.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why are you telling me, and not Faite?”  Chiaki asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Would Vincent stand a better chance of believing you, or believing Faite?”  he asked.  “And who would Liu Xi understand better if she were told not to attend?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why are you telling me this?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Playing these games is the only thing left that amuses you.”  The Hooded Hood quoted.  “Your words, Ms Bushido.”

    Chiaki frowned.  “I hurt your feelings.  That’s it, isn’t it?”

    He shook his head.  “Like myself, you speak only truth,”  he said.  “There is a certain trust in that.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sometimes you just want to see things right,”  Chiaki guessed.  “Except that nobody believes you.  Nobody trusts you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s time for you to return to your friends,”  he interjected.

    Chiaki nodded.  “Before I go, however, I need to ask...why do you need me to trust you?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“A storm is coming,”  the Hood replied.

    It was indeed cloudy and gloomy outside, but she knew that’s not what he was referring to.

    Before she had a chance to ask anything else, Chiaki was back in Herringcarp Asylum, among the Lair Legion, Faite and Liu Xi Xian.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What happened?”  Yuki Shiro asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I believe he...reached out to me,”  he Samurai replied.  “Only I don’t know why yet.  He was behaving very mysteriously.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“More than usual?”  Hatman asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Much more,”  she replied.  “Anyway, Liu Xi...you can’t go to Vinnie’s wedding.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Huh?  Why not?”  Liu Xi asked.

    Chiaki responded, “Because if you do, you will die.”


TO BE CONTINUED...


Story written and copyrighted (C) 2011 by Jason Froikin, and may not be reprinted without permission.  Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow.  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin.  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin