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Anime Jason 
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In Reply To
Hatman

Member Since: Thu Jan 01, 1970
Posts: 618
Subj: It would have worked either way...
Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 at 11:29:54 pm EDT (Viewed 428 times)
Reply Subj: Deleted Scene
Posted: Mon May 24, 2010 at 11:12:10 pm EDT (Viewed 509 times)

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This is how this chapter first started, but I quickly discovered that I could probably tell a better story from the first person perspective. But rather than just delete it, here is how Abandoned Legion #7 originally started. It ends abruptly as I abandoned this style, and the disclaimer about no resemblance at all to my parents still applies.




    At the age of 4, Jay Boaz lost his father in an airplane crash in the mountains of British Columbia. Three months later, his mother was in the wrong place at the wrong time, killed as an innocent bystander in a botched convenience store robbery.

    With no relatives willing to take him, the boy had been placed in the Canadian foster care system. He bounced from home to home, struggling to find his place in the world.

    When he was fourteen, the country of Canada was conquered by the Moderator’s forces and officially became a part of the United States of America. All wards of the state were drafted into the Moderator’s army; the public did not resist, as these unwanted children were perceived as a drain on society that would now have a use.

    Boaz quickly rose to the top of his class, and soon specialized in demolitions. The mean streak he had as a child grew to a ruthless temperament that gained the attention of his superiors. By his sixteenth birthday, Boaz was placed on active duty with the North American Military.

* * * * *


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Look alive girls,” barked Sergeant Dick Ferocious through the wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth. “This ain’t no tea party we’re watlzin’ into.”

    Boaz’s platoon was stationed in Iceland, and were on a mission to capture the terrorism group Just a Bunch of Heroes. Military intelligence suggested the JBH had gone to ground in the small island nation to regroup after their attack on Baltimore.

    Reports had pegged the JBH as hiding out in the suburb of Gimlivik, a small hamlet a few clicks north of Reykjavik. The Screaming Eagles were on foot doing reconnaissance, and the Sergeant didn’t want his men to be taken by surprise.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No worries Sarge, I’ll blow these guys sky high,” crowed the confident Boaz. He patted the grenade launcher slung across his back.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t get cocky kid,” cautioned the grizzled veteran. “These clowns almost managed to off the Moderator himself at Baltimore.”



It worked well in the completed version, but you also could have interspersed the two types of scenes too.





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