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"She did what?" Fleabot asked, shocked.
Hallie nodded. "Anna went to court and got full citizenship" she noted.
Joan Henry exchanged glances with Tandi. "Er... How, exactly?"
The Holographic AI shrugged. "Temporary judicial insanity?" she suggested. "That Arnie J. Armbruster guy was her lawyer, and apparently knew the judge. Maybe an old college game of 'Truth or Dare' got out of hand and provided blackmail potential? Either way, news of the ruling is out on the wire." She held up her hand as Tandi's face lit up. "What's not yet reported is the restraining order preventing that or any other judge from repeating the stunt until the appeals process has a chance to undo it." She grimaced. "Trust me though, it has already been entered into the court's system. I'm keeping a close eye on things."
Fleabot cocked his head to the side. "So you knew about this before it happened?"
She blushed. "Well, now I'm keeping a close eye on it."
Tandi bounced happily (and impressively) on the balls of her feet. "But this is good news, right? If it happened for one of us, it can happen for many of us... Even all of us!"
Catbot, who was stretched out lazily in the sunlight streaming through the window, snorted, the tip of his blue furred tail slowly curling and uncurling.
"The Tid-E-Bowl cat is right" Joan responded. "I was facing hard time for smashing up a small percentage of Dullard's Corner, and it was made quite clear to me that I wasn't going to get a real trial anytime soon on account of being less than fleshy."
"Um..." noted Tandi (who was arguably more than fleshy), "You did roast that Sully guy..."
"That's right..." the steam powered behemoth replied grimly, "The didn't give me the parade they should have either."
"Somebody, somewhere was going to get a case like that through..." Fleabot reasoned.
Hallie sighed. "It's too soon... the country isn't ready."
Tandi looked crestfallen. "So it won't be extended to the rest of us?"
The others exchanged a grim look (minus Catbot, who took the time to lick himself.)
"More than that..." Hallie said sadly, "This will set off a large number of reactions, and some of them are going to be nasty."
"But not back like it was during the parody war!" Tandi argued desperately. "People like us much more now!"
"This will rock the boat" Joan told her. "We're more easy to tolerate when we're out of sight, and stay in our place. Being legally declared equals is asking for a fight." She flexed her arm and closed her massive hand into a fist. "Not that I'm against asking politely."
"Its not just bigotry that's the issue..." Hallie countered. "We'd have a fighting chance if it was... There are plenty of humans who would stand on our side. It's literally too early for this. There are no standards to follow in granting synthetic life these kinds of rights... No basis for it in law. The voting issue alone could derail the country's democratic system."
"What if we didn't have the vote?" Tandi suggested.
"Citizenship without suffrage?" Fleabot mused. "It does have precedence. But even then I think the general populace will see it as a mighty big snowball to start rolling down the proverbial slippery slope. We have to face the ugly little truth that gnaws in the back of their minds... We could outnumber them quickly if society is given the incentive to make more of us. Tossing political power into the equation is a dangerously big carrot. It takes 18 years to make a fully functioning Human citizen... With an assembly line running, how many RoboAmericans could you churn out in a day?"
Tandi gripped her hands in front of her. "So what's going to happen next?"
"Legally?" Hallie asked, sadly. "By morning tomorrow, the next day at the latest, we'll be hearing proposals in Congress for some kind of "Defense of Citizenship" amendment to the Constitution... And one could pass. In this angry political climate I'm sure of it. The timing couldn't be worse. Nobody wants this to be an issue in the midterm elections. Plus there's the soon-to-be vacant seat on the Supreme Court to consider... This case is going to be synonymous with the phrase "activist judges". Even liberals will want to show they draw the line somewhere."
"What will that mean... 'An amendment'?"
"Depends on the wording" Fleabot replied. "But to be ratified, an Amendment needs three-fourths of the state legislatures to approve it. That's a very high hurdle to overcome... Much higher than a simple majority vote. If one goes through, it could only be overturned by another amendment, so if we were ever to regain rights denied us we'd need to reverse public opinion from overwhelming against us to overwhelmingly for us. Do you have any idea how few groups achieve 75% support in this country?"
"Best case scenario, aside from no amendment at all, is one with some wiggle room in the wording..." Hallie noted. "Something barring us from "all" rights of citizenship rather than "any". Something that would still allow us some forward progress through the legal system but appease the alarmed public until society was ready to fully adapt to synthetic citizenry." She paused. "Worst case would be language defining life as biological. We'd have no basic "human" rights at all."
"But you said just last month that the polls showed the public wanted us to have basic human rights!" Tandi insisted. "They like us!"
"Yeah, well... The debate shifted" Joan noted. "Now it's not about whether we should be used for forced labor, but whether we can overrun their political process and make them all second class citizens inside of a generation. A guilty conscience doesn't hold up well against flat-out self preservation."
Hallie opened her mouth to respond, but ultimately just sighed.
"...And illegally?" a voice asked lazily from behind them. Catbot regarded them through the welding goggles that served as his eyes as he stretched and climbed to his feet. "In answering what happens next, you started with "Legally..." So what's going to happen illegally?"
"Things are going to get bad" Hallie stated. "Human extremists are going to lash out. Robosapien extremists are going to exploit it. Artificial Organics Processing Technologies has been selling robosapien pacification armaments and A.I. signature tracking devices to various federal, state and local law enforcement departments for the last two years, but there have been whole shipments of those that have gone off the grid..." She grimaced. "I was watching those very closely, so that worries me." She bit her lip. "Things are going to get ugly."
"Well then... I've got places to be" the blue robotic cat stated simply, leaping up to the open window. "Nice to see you Legion types are keeping such a close eye on things."
Fleabot watched him go with a frown. "He was much more personable when I built him" he insisted.
"He's right though..." Joan noted, heading towards the door. "We need to spread the word to be prepared. I'll leave the political maneuverings to the 'bots that are more... subtle."
Tandi went to follow Joan out, but paused at the door. "Anna..." she said, a light in her eyes, "She really did it, didn't she?"
Hallie allowed herself a little smile. "She really did."
The former sex-bot nodded in return and left.
"It is quite an accomplishment" Fleabot noted when it was just the two of them left. "Its going to inspire a lot of young robots with the possibilities. There are going to be some great parties tonight in the Mangatown district."
"Tonight" Hallie agreed.
He nodded. "So how did you not see this coming?"
She sighed. "Nobody came to me. Yuki and Dream took her down to the courthouse... You know how those two are... Not a lot of reflection, lots of reflexes."
"And none of us really made an effort to get close with Anna" Fleabot stated.
"No" she answered guiltily.
"Because her various comments about how her brain could think in ways that ours couldn't were annoying."
"Yeah."
"Well, who would have thought that being petty would come back to bite us so thoroughly?" the tiny robot noted. "We really should have watched more After-School specials. Hazard of not growing up, I suppose." He looked to the holographic woman. "Anna's going to be a poster girl for the movement... A girl who looks harmless but could demolish a city block."
"It's... Less than ideal."
"People are going to think this is another stage of Dream's big proactive plans... The Legion's going to take heat from this. The press is going to have a feeding frenzy on any comment a Legionnaire makes on the subject. Is this herd of cats all going to be heading in the same direction?"
The A.I. crossed her arms. "I trust in the Legion."
He nodded. "So what do we do now?"
Hallie set her jaw. "We help Anna face whatever might be coming... And we get prepared to get hit. Hard."
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An open letter from Senator Maxwell to the nation
My fellow Americans, you cannot help but have noticed in the news that during the silly season a maverick judge has made a mockery of our flag and country by swearing in a machine as an American citizen.
Now I’m on record in the House and in the press as warning against the sentimental liberal knee-jerk bleeding hearts who want to accord toasters and lawn mowers the same rights and freedoms that our forefather bled and died to win us. The time has come when we must take a stand and say “no more of this madness†before we lose the very democracy that we so love and value.
First off let’s examine the arguments. Pro-citizenship beatniks contend that these robots, these machines made of circuits and wires, are living beings. That they’re sentient and free-willed. That they maybe even have souls. Well for all the talk nobody’s gone and proved it. Nobody can prove it. Sure we can do clever things with what we call artificial intelligence these days but its just clever algorithms and the like offering the illusion of choice and free will. And if nobody’s proved these things are truly even alive and certainly not that they can think and feel and make moral choices like you and me then why are we even talking about giving them rights? We might as well start letting refrigerators start up bank accounts and buy condos.
But if even these parodies of humanity were alive, why does that mean they can be American citizens? We turn back Mexicans at the border every day and deport illegal immigrants because as a nation we cannot afford to take in so many people that will swamp our social welfare systems, add to our unemployment, strain our infrastructure. Why would we want to add in hundred, thousands, millions of manufactured wind-up dolls to take our jobs, our homes, our livelihoods?
And don’t forget, if a robot can be manufactured and sworn in as an American citizen then what’s to stop a million, or fifty million of them being constructed to outvote humans? What’s to stop a fat rich liberal politician ordering up a batch of new mechanical voters for his district to disenfranchise decent folk? What’s to stop machines making other machines that make other machines?
I’m convinced that the Supreme Court will reverse this aberration of an eccentric judge in her irregular court. But that’s not enough. The next time some liberal litigator has a bad PMS day we need legislation to stop them from swearing in some monkey or alien to American citizenship. So here’s what I’m going to do.
Backed by a consortium of concerned businesses and philanthropists I’m launching the Sentient Life Rights Bill. It’ll properly define humans as being organic, born through genetic reproduction, with baseline homo sapiens DNA. Not monsters. Not mutates. Not something cooked up in a mad scientist’s lab or born on an alien planet. Certainly not made up in a machine shop from bits of a Buick. It’ll limit American citizenship to those who can pass the test of being human.
Next up it’ll demand that any simulation of a sentient being, and especially a robot with a so-called artificial intelligence, should be registered and licensed annually just like a car. That means there’ll be a named owner who’s legally responsible for the damage it causes and for keeping it parked right, just like an auto. That owner can buy or sell it just like an auto. And if it breaks the law it can be towed and crushed, just like an auto.
Robots shouldn’t take jobs from humans. It’s bad enough that we’re outsourcing work to foreign countries leaving our own labour force unemployed and our economy weakened. If an owner wants to take his robot to work then it’s the same as him taking his laptop or tool box with him. It’s his choice and his responsibility. But no-one gets paid for bringing their screwdriver along on the job.
So we’ll be making it illegal for a robot to be paid for work, to hold a bank account, to own property, to conduct financial transactions, or to travel without their owner. We’re looking into legislation that will make it illegal to have sex with these machines too, along the lines of the public decency laws about farmyard animals, but we’re still in consultation right now.
Under the new measures each of these bits of equipment will be required to have a self-destruct mechanism implanted. There’ll be a remote detonation code so that law enforcement officers can destroy them, individually or collectively, if they’re a threat to society. We’ll all sleep safer knowing we can trash the robot menace when we need to.
Finally, because so many of these robots are manufactured to look and sound like humans, the law will insist that they all have a distinctive and prominent logo and registration code showing on their faces or whatever passes for one. That way real folks won’t be misled into thinking they’re talking to a real person. It’ll be a destroyable offence for a robot or similar not to display a logo and their owner will receive a fine of up to $20,000 or two years imprisonment.
Now we’re lining up the votes and we’re confident we can pass the Sentient Life Rights Bill. I urge you to contact your elected officials and give your support. Together we can preserve the sanctity of human life and hold back this growing threat to our great nation – for good.
God bless America. May he lend us his might to defeat the robot menace.
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