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Somewhere in the Delta-Gamma Quadrant of space, near the planet Naicluv Prime, the Naicluvian battleships begin their final preparations for their first interplanetary battle in eons. Normally a peace-loving race, they are spurred on by the threat of a loose cannon- one that cannot be left alone for too long, or it will surely go off on its own accord. That cannon is Joey Z.
Joey Z. was left for dead in a mental institution, where his own people had left him in hopes that they would discover his true origins and dissect him to figure out how their alien species worked. Unfortunately for the Naicluvians, Joey Z. suffers from food allergies and he teleported his atoms halfway across the country before he knew what was happening to him.
The people of Naiculv got word of Joey's escape some time afterward when a wayfaring alien was caught with a rare Naicluvian Thorndopper* and was taken into custody.
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*A Naicluvian Thorndopper is a rare species of plant that excretes a serum once a planet cycle that is potent enough to make the biggest man give away his most hidden secret. This plant was nearly erased from existence when someone slipped some of its serum into the Naicluvian Prime Minister's cocktail at a retirement party and he was asked whether he would miss the old chap and spouted out, "To hell I will! The old leach is nothing but a borrowing good-for-nothing windbag and I'm glad to see him go!"
Needless to say, the Prime minister had everyone at the party interrogated and ordered the Naicluvian Thorndopper to be eradicated. Were it not for a few sly botanists and a whole militia of Plant Every Animal Trees activists (PEAT for short), they would have fallen into the same category as the Honval Burgleslap and been considered a myth, but that's another story for another time...
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It was after this man was interrogated, scanned and his dignity all but taken away from him, when a young scientist by the name of N4387923847 had the bright idea of checking the ship's navigational computer to find out where the man could have been. When they saw that he had been to Earth, they inquired as to which alien species he met there. After which, he responded that he had met a Naicluvian by the name of Joey Z. who said if he never told anyone about who he was or where he had gotten it, he would grant him any wish he desired. And, being one of five focal points for the reality in which we live, it was nothing for Joey to create a Naicluvian Thorndopper in exchange for this man's silence.
Unfortunately for Joey Z., that man was easy to break and they got every bit of that story out of him- and then some.
Apparently this man, Shohan Doobo, turned out to be a traveling gypsy of the highest order and able to whip up tales out of nothing and turn them into a whole lot of something. In this case, having knowledge of this planet's superheroes- especially where Joey Z. is currently located- he decided to give himself a little more distance between him and the Naicluvians by telling them that said superheroes were Joey's sworn protectors and they vowed never to let anyone take their new treasure from them.
And here we are... The Naicluvian Battle fleet is now en-route to Earth, Joey Z. and none of the other citizens are aware of the coming danger, and Shohan Doobo is making haste with a few extra rare Naicluvian treats as well as with his Naicluvian Thorndopper, which he was able to grab on his way out the door.
Good luck to you in Parodopolis! The Naicluvians mean business!
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