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Member Since: Sat Jan 03, 2004
Posts: 2,131
In Reply To
HH

Subj: I'm very sorry to hear that, for you and your whole family.
Posted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 at 12:56:23 am EDT (Viewed 523 times)
Reply Subj: Okay, here's some stuff I'm having to deal with just now.
Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 at 06:55:41 pm EDT

Previous Post

I’m sorry that Rhiannon and I haven’t been that active on the PVB lately. We’ve been weathering a family crisis which looks like it’s going to get worse in the days to come.

Over summer my wife of twenty years, Sally, decided that I was impossible to live with and expressed an intention to separate. Attempts I’ve made at a reconciliation have so far failed. Sally is determined to move from the family home and take the children with her. The children don’t wish to go. The divorce papers arrived last week and Sally is claiming that I’m responsible for an irretrievable breakdown of the relationship and should therefore pay all costs for a divorce, give her custody of the children, a lump sum, and maintenance payments. On 13th November I’m in court at the start of what promises to be a lengthy, gory, and expensive custody battle.

As you can imagine this has been the emotional equivalent of a series of sledgehammer blows to the head. I still love Sally and I’d have her back in a heartbeat. I hate the idea of us being opponents and having to fight. These events have been a shock to family and friends (many of whom I’m only now getting round to cluing in; this is my weekend for “going public”) and a horrible trauma for the children. It’s been a factor in my recent decision to change jobs to something that gives me much more time flexibility. It’s why I’ve not felt particularly inspired to creative writing.

That said I’m trying to maintain as normal a lifestyle as I can for Rhiannon, Alex, and myself, and the PVB is part of that world. I just didn’t want posters to misinterpret any long pauses in activity or occasional snarkiness as reflecting on them or their work.

IW




I knew you were going through some very rough times with your family, but I'm saddened to hear that things are that dire. I know that telling people about the problems of my own marriage was a heartbreaking, painful task. I think the obvious love you have for your family will help you navigate through it all.

I really have no advice to share. Certainly, this kind of thing hits us in the most personal aspects of our lives... it's very hard to draw anything but superficial parallels between experiences that close to the individual heart.

You and the board were a great resource for me when I was going through my own low points. With everything changing in my life, it was good to have this place to retreat to now and then, where we could have control over how events played out. It was very good to simply have the comraderie as well. I can't do much to help you or Rhiannon in your real lives... although I'm more than happy to help in any way I can. I will, however, be here, and be available by e-mail, and do what I can to keep the Parodyverse chugging along, so that it can be there for you and Rhiannon as it was for me, should you need the escape.

You're a good man... a caring, helpful one, and you've raised some wonderful children. Rhiannon is a gifted child. You're both quite strong. Take your time, and I wish you the best of luck.





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