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On the Importance of Being a Good Hostess: A deleted scene from #UT328: On The Unwelcome Attentions of the Living Death that Sucks
Originally posted on Tales of the Parodyverse by Manga Shoggoth.
(c) 2008 A. C. Leeson. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works.
As the vast Hoover-ship loomed over the planet, its tubes deploying with agonizing (but dramatically correct) slowness, all seemed lost.
"Wait!" called a female figure, floating in front of the ship. "Instead of consuming this planet, why not try one of these!". She cast a handful of small packages in the general direction of the nozzles. They were hoovered up almost immediately.
The Juniors looked up in some confusion.
"What the hell is Miiri doing up there?" asked Ham-Boy.
"Never mind that! How the hell is she doing that without visible support?" added Falconne, who was used to using her brother's flight suit.
"It's the low gravity..." said Hacker Nine dreamily "...Oww!". This having earned him a thick ear from both Fashion Accessory and Visionary.
"What did she just throw at him?" asked Visionary.
"Chiiave-gemellaata." answered Vaahir. "An ancient Caphan delicacy. A paste made from the eggs of the lohsra-birds, the finest teeff flour and the purest of syrups, flavoured with the best leaves of the viallan herb, baked in soft geenoise bread and rolled in the waterproof leaves of the T'Grum tree."
He realised that the Juniors and Visionary were staring at him.
"Hey! I loved them as a kid!" he said. "And they kept forever!"
Above them, the Hoover-ship trembled under the impact of Caphan cuisine. Then all of Caph shook as a great, terrible voice echoed across their world.
"Light, spongy coating! Delicious creamy filling! MORE!!"
Kerry looked up at the Hoover-ship with a sigh. There was one small flaw in the plan. "How the hell are they going to find the resources - let alone the ovens - to produce a 60-mile long one of those?" she sighed.
"There goes the Chiiave-gemellaata defence." agreed Visionary.
Footnotes:
I really don't know how I came up with this one, except that I don't think this part of Comic Book lore has been parodied here before.
Chiiave-gemellaata. Well, gemellata = keys and chiave = twin.
Teeff flour = Tef flour
Viallan = Vanilla
Geenoise bread = Génoise cake
And, of course, the Chiiave-gemellaata defence.
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...And Miiri defying gravity is always worthy of attention.
