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Note: "First Date" is considered to be Doorman #1
Knock knock.
Jay jumped to his feet, whistling a jaunty tune as he made his way to the door. He opened it to find the pizza delivery boy he had been expecting, holding his much anticipated dinner.
"That'll be $19.50," said the delivery boy.
"Just let me get my wallet," Jay told him. "Please, come in."
The delivery boy stepped inside the apartment as Jay rushed off to the bedroom. While he was waiting, he set the pizza down on the counter.
"Okay, good news and bad news," Jay said as he came back into view. "I have enough cash to pay for the pizza, but I don't have enough for the tip. Do you have one of those portable credit card machines?"
The youth debated the question in his head for a few moments. Forget the tip, or run down to the car to get the machine. After a few moments reflection, and a thought or two about the expenses of college, he spoke. "Sure, I'll be right back."
The delivery boy opened the door, and a wall of water greeted him. "What the-?" he began to say before he was pushed hard from behind.
Jay slammed the door behind the youth, leaving him to his watery grave. "Damn," he said under his breath, "now I've got to mop the floor!"
* * * * *
As much as Jay appreciated the convenience of murdering delivery people, he knew that if he pulled the trick too often he'd bring too much attention to himself. He had a lot to learn about the world he found himself in before deciding on his next move.
He stopped to buy a newspaper at a corner store. Emblazoned across the front page was the headline "Hatman Saves Library From Blaze". A scowl overtook Jay's features. Before returning to life he had been told by the Void Scholar about his counterpart in this reality. Honest, kind, polite, and a champion of Order. Plus he was Canadian. Doorman hated Canadians..
He had also been told that if he did not eliminate Hatman from this reality, he himself would cease to exist. Doorman liked existing, so clearly Hatman had to go.
Doorman purchased every magazine and newspaper with Hatman's name or image on it, and thought about murdering the clerk who looked at him funny for buying Cosmo and Teen Vogue. He decided against it. For now.
With his purchases tucked away in a bag, he made a quick stop at the liquor store before heading back to the apartment.
With a cold beer in hand he began to read. A lot of the articles he read were fluff he couldn't use. A lot of the articles wanted to make him vomit. Wasn't there any dirt on this guy?
He sighed, took a long pull of his beer, and forced himself to open the Cosmo. A quick scan of the table of contents found the article he was looking for.
Hatman and Rabid Wolf: Their Relationship Gone To The Dogs?
A wicked grin took over Jay's face. Hatman has a chickie, he thought to himself with glee.
More correctly, Doorman thought, Hatman had a chickie.
It wasn't enough for Doorman to simply eliminate Hatman to survive. No, Doorman needed to absolutely destroy Hatman before killing him.
After all, if Doorman intended to stick around in this reality, he needed to get started on his resume.
To be continued
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