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> > When last we left our heroes:
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> > Inside the blast zone left over from the detonation of the Narrative Bomb at Arachknight City, Visionary, Brap and the Sorting Hat were preparing to face off against the brain of Baroness Zemo, currently at home in Muffy Framlicker's body (along with the brain of Al B. Harper, and Muffy's own.) Oh, and the whole bundle was wearing the Venom symbiote.
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> > Meanwhile, Helen McAllistair had snuck into the Moderator's death camp facility in order to get access to his computer systems, in hopes of exposing the truth about him and his entire operation to the rest of the world. Unfortunately, before she had the chance she was confronted by the Search Engineer, who showed her what becomes of Helen McAllistairs in this reality...
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> > "Oh Visionary!" the overly amalgamated woman with an impressive physique and writhing tentacles was singing menacingly. "Come out, come out wherever you are... We just want to talk, yes we do... that's all..."
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> > From their hiding place among the rubble of the canyon floor where Arachknight city once stood, Brap turned to the Legionnaire with a hopeful look. "Ah! She knows you by your real name! Perhaps she ees an old friend in zhe other timeline, Oui? One zhat weel be on our side."
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> > Visionary cautiously peered out from behind a boulder to see the thing that used to be Muffy Framlicker shred the ghostly, half-formed image of a Buick with black symbiotic tendrils. "Um... yeah... tricky thing about the Baroness, Even when she's on our side, she's really... well... not."
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> > "Than she ees someone you do know, from zhe way things used to be?" Brap prodded.
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> > "Sort of. I mean, minus Muffy's body. And Al's brain. And the whole writhing symbiote thing... although, come to think of it, she had this henchwoman she used to wear that could get bind up on a fellow..." The Regular blushed at some unspoken memory. "You'd think she'd get tired of underwear with a mind of its own. Ah... Anyway, even in that reality, she kind of wanted me really, really dead."
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> > The pig chose to ignore the burning henchwoman question for another time. "So you would perhaps 'ave an idea as to why she ees trying to kill you?"
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> > The Regular rubbed his neck. "Er... we used to be neighbors."
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> > "And you never returned her hedge clippahrs?" Brap guessed.
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> > "Um, no... Actually, my legal ward kind of burned down her house.... and, well... much of the neighborhood... although with the best of intentions" Visionary added quickly.
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> > "I'm not even angry..." the Baroness sung out. "I'm being so sincere right now..."
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> > Brap coughed delicately. "Well, ah... Perhaps she ees ovahr thees mild spat, no?"
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> > Visionary rubbed the back of his neck, flopping the Sorting Hat he was wearing forward over one eye. "Er... that incident, maybe. But she might still have a grudge or two about the time she posed as my teammate..."
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> > "Oh? How bad could eet..."
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> > "We were stripped naked and locked in a death trap together."
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> > The pig paused carefully. "And you, how zhey say... took advanteeg of zhees situation?"
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> > "No! I would never!"
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> > The Sorting Hat chuckled. "Except for when you boosted her up and groped her in the..."
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> > "Dark!" Visionary interjected. It was in the dark... Very hard to make out what was what. Not that I was trying."
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> > "According to your recollections, you had some good guesses as to which were the important bits..."
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> > The Regular scowled under the headwear. "And you wondered why the cow hat was my first choice" Visionary muttered.
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> > "Still, I do not see how zhees would lead zhe lovely lady to 'ave such zhe murderous grudge against you..."
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> > "Well, there was also the fact that Sam and my own kids kind of sunk her carefully laid plans for world domination..."
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> > "Zhat lovely woman, she wanted zhe world domination?"
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> > Visionary nodded. "Still does, I imagine. Despite being only one third of a brain inside a supermodel's body."
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> > The hat chewed it's lip. "That's the kind of mix never gave Tyra Banks pause on her quest for it, you know."
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> > "Right. So that's the short list of why she wants me dead."
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> > "Not to mention that she's hated your guts pretty much since first laying eyes upon you" the Hat added helpfully.
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> > "Yeah, she's overall kind of irritable" the Regular agreed. "In any event, she's dangerous and unpredictable, and that was before she was stitched together out of multiple brains. That's why the plan is to keep her distracted while Sam and Salieri find whatever it is we came here to find."
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> > "Zhat was a plan?" Brap asked hopefully. "So zhe boy, he deed not just run off on hees own, causing zhe girl to chase after heem?"
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> > "Well... it's the plan now, at any rate" the supposed leader of the group announced.
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> > The hat snorted. "You'd be amazed how many of his plans were defined retroactively. Still, those are the ones with the better success ratios."
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> > Nearby, the Baroness Muffy B. Harplicker Dewdrop Venom flipped a boulder the size of a cement truck over with a negligent flex of a tentacle. "All we want to do is eat your brains..." she sang out cheerfully. "We're not unreasonable, I mean... no-one's gonna eat your eyes..."
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> > "Ah... okay" the pig nodded gamely, not wanting to know what exactly defined a "better" success ratio. "Zhen... what ees zhe next stage of zhe winning plan?"
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> > Visionary rubbed his chin. "Okay, well, the first thing is staying out of sight..."
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> > The rubble they were hiding behind was hefted out from in front of them, leaving them huddled in its shadow. "Well, in that case..." the Baroness grinned murderously with Muffy's face, "I'm making a note here... huge success!" With that, she slammed the huge block of concrete down where they were standing.
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> > "You certainly do scamper quickly" the Search Engineer's voice mocked over the lab's central computer core's speaker system, his smiling face peering in through the bulletproof glass walls that surrounded the mainframe's clean room. "But really now Mouse, what do you think you can accomplish by locking me out of the room? How long do you seriously think it will take me to find a way to get to you? Finding things is what I do."
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> > Helen McAllistair looked the the jumble of door parts sitting on the workstation next to her, including the tubing that ran the pneumatic locking mechanism on the room's vault doors. "I'm sure you've already found the way... but whatever it is, apparently it'll take a little time to go that route" she answered, adding "I hope and pray" under her breath. She used an access terminal to key up the data files on the Moderator's operations and prepared to route them through the communications array and out to an unsuspecting world. "And all I need is a little time..."
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> > "Fair enough" the Engineer allowed. "You can have all the time you like. After all, you're not going anywhere..." There was a flash, and suddenly the modem connections went dead "And I found the way to sever all communication lines out of that room."
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> > Helen's face fell as she tried again and again to establish an outside connection. "No... Nononononono!" she gasped.
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> > "Yes" he answered smugly. "So really all you've managed to do is to lock yourself in an airtight clean room." The fans running the ventilation system changed pitch slightly, and an underlying, ominous hiss became audible in the background. "Tell me, Mouse... how quickly do you think that you can find a way to open this door?"
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> > "Eep" the pig and the regular noted, diving out of the way of 10 tons of concrete.
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> > "Could we not find some way to resolve zhees?" Brap suggested hopefully
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> > "Certainly..." the Baroness smiled, her face sprouting an alarming number of pointed fangs and a long snake-like tongue. "When I bash your head open."
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> > "Stay back!" Visionary ordered as the Baroness casually strode after them. "We have an irritable attack pig, and no idea what may set him off!"
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> > "Well, zhe Truffles 'ave been known to make me sneeze..." Brap noted with a gulp.
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> > Visionary cast about for some defense as they backpedaled. "What if I appeal to your sense of compassion and mercy?"
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> > The Baroness actually paused and raised an eyebrow.
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> > "Well, no... not yours" the Regular admitted. "But... Al! Muffy! You're still in there! Fight her!"
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> > "You're counting on the voices from inside my head saying I shouldn't kill you yet?" the living amalgam snorted, whipping out a pair of tendrils to snatch both victims off their feet. "A shame that they were some of the first brains we ate."
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> > "Surely, we can be reasonahbul about zhees..." the pig squealed as he was raised above the Baroness's ever-widening maw. "What deed we evahr do to you?"
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> > "He means in this reality" Visionary amended quickly.
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> > She paused and switched victims, dangling the Regular to face her nose to nose. "You blew up my ribcage doomsday device where it couldn't ignite the atmosphere. That was... disappointing."
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> > The Sorting Hat coughed politely. "Ah... hate to interrupt... but do you think you might want to remove his hat before biting off his head?"
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> > She grinned at it with far too many teeth.
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> > "I feared not. Then I have to ask... are you really that big a fan of off-the-wall, nerdish internet composer Jonathon Coulton?"
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> > She paused. "Who?"
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> > "It's just, you've been quoting an awful lot of his songs while you've been mocking us... so I figured either you were a big fan, or someone slightly nerdy was subconsciously trying to send us a message that they were still in there."
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> > "Al!" Visionary exclaimed. "Or Muffy, maybe... I don't know either of their tastes in music. You don't have anybody else in there, do you?"
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> > "Even if that were true..." the Baroness growled malevolently, tightening a tendril around his chest. "I'm still the one in complete control. Any more questions?"
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> > "Well, ack... here's... on... for Al..." Visionary choked, tilting his head forward so that the hat slid off his scalp and onto the Baroness's. "How did... sex with Kinki... compare... to... Muffy?"
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> > There was a pause as the Baroness Muffy B. Harplicker Dewdrop Venom stiffened, dropping both captives to the ground as her head started twitching, cocked slightly to one side. The Venom symbiote began to boil, and then launched into a full scale attack on itself as the Baroness's body seemed to be making every effort to strangle herself.
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> > Visionary winced as the Baroness gave herself a fairly impressive uppercut to the jaw. "Of course... I suppose Muffy might have been interested to have the answer to that question revealed as well..."
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> > The bastard wasn't even bothering with chemical weapons to kill her, she noted... The gas he was diverting into the sealed computer chamber was nothing more than a sterilization compound and a static inhibitor. Not that it wouldn't be equally as lethal once the ratio of chemical to oxygen rose high enough. The tightness had moved down her throat and into her chest now, making her breaths come with an underlying wheeze. She pushed past it and rubbed her watering eyes so that she could read the computer monitor instead.
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> > He leaned against the wall outside the room's glass door and watched her with a twisted smile. "Searching for one last truth in the data banks before you retire?" he asked mildly. "I don't know that you have enough time... You're not the quickest thinker, after all. Besides, you have no way of sharing it with anyone but me."
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> > "You're right" she croaked, trying not to show alarm at the condition of her own voice. "I'm not the quickest thinker. I wasn't able to piece this puzzle together until you gave me the last piece." She stopped and coughed. "Of course, it could be worse... You don't even know the puzzle exists yet."
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> > He scoffed. "Really? This is your final play? You're going to tweak my pride and get me to make a mistake that saves your sorry ass?"
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> > She shook her head, her drab brown hair hanging limply from her brow as she kept at work over the keyboard. "You know what the problem is with always finding anything you're looking for?" Helen noted. "You're less likely to stumble upon the things you *aren't* looking for." She opened the last data entry in the file and couldn't help but smirk. "Some of the greatest inventions, the most profound medical advances, were found accidentally by people working their way through a problem and trying to find a solution to something else entirely. When you skip the journey and leap right to the end, you can miss a number of important things waiting to be discovered along the way."
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> > "What a heartwarming and valuable lesson that is. You really should have been involved in Functionary's presentations of The Moderator's after school specials."
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> > "For instance..." she continued, ignoring him. "Had you been looking more carefully, you might have caught on to what Zelnitz was doing this whole time, right under your nose."
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> > The smirk disappeared from his face. "Zelnitz?" he growled. "Zelnitz wasn't half as smart as he thought."
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> > "Betrayed you, did he?" she smiled, surpressing a chill at the past tense phrasing that confirmed this suspicion. "Really, considering how long he managed to keep his pet project hidden from you, it's not surprising. He must have really viewed you with contempt."
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> > The Search Engineer snarled as he strode to an access terminal in the general control room and keyed up the system code. Now that he was looking for them, the hidden strings in the code stood out like a slap in the face. "What was that little punk up to?" he growled as he compiled the fragments. "Where are the missing..." he stopped and turned to look at Helen, who was casually leaning against a mainframe, unplugged linking cables in hand.
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> > "I'm sorry..." she smiled slightly through bloodshot eyes. "Were you looking for something on this machine?" Her smile faded. "Why don't you come in here and get it."
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> > "You're too kind" he replied. With a few shortcut keystrokes, he activated the fans to clear the chemicals from the air of the clean room. He then walked over to the bullet proof glass door, and opened it with a simple tug. Helen blinked in surprise, then narrowed her eyes, watching him from across the room with a dark, unfriendly glare. "Oh, don't be that way... of course I found a way past your pathetic little trick with the door. You were always so boring in life, little Mouse... I just thought I'd try and give you an interesting death." He shrugged. "Oh well... not this time" he sighed as he pulled out a pistol and shot her in the chest instead.
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> > He stepped over her body as she lay there, gasping at the pain. He visually searched the room for a trap, but the only thing he could sense was the information that had drawn him here in the first place. Then he found the digital information packet she had prepared, ready and waiting to transmit at the first moment of restored communications. "You really thought I'd try to access this mainframe wirelessly?" he tsked. With a few keystrokes, he deleted the information bundle and all the coding waiting to transmit it. The threat removed, he reconnected the mainframe to the local network and turned his attention to Zelnitz's little pet project, quickly finding the missing files. "He certainly was a busy little punk, wasn't he?" the Search Engineer growled. The seeds of the project were everywhere throughout the network, hidden behind low level bits of programming... in routine code that wasn't likely to merit a second look. But what did it do? He couldn't find any malicious intent... it was almost like Zelnitz had been a simple pack rat, stuffing his bits of illicit programming treasure into any small crevasse he could...
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> > It was right as he realized what he had found that he fervently wished he could unfind it... but it was too late. Enough of the code had been brought together to begin to reassemble itself on its own. He looked about frantically for something to smash the mainframe in out of a desperate attempt to stop it. That's when he noticed the charm hanging around the dying woman's neck. Small and unremarkable, much like the woman herself, he still could not believe he hadn't found it before...
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> > In the warehouse, hours earlier:
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> > "Lean forward..." the wretched hunchback urged with a leer. "I've found something for you."
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> > Helen eyed him suspiciously.
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> > "On my honor as a deviant..." he swore, hand raised solemnly. "You have room for another charm on that necklace of yours, don't you? I know someone who would have wanted you to have this one."
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> > Against her better judgment she leaned down and allowed him access to the gold chain around her neck.
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> > "Green, eh?" he smiled. "Looks good on you."
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> > Her brow furled in confusion before her eyes widened and she clasped a hand to the top of her blouse, bolting upright. After scowling at the horrible little man, she took a quick peek down it to make sure her emerald satin bra was still securely fastened. It was then that she noticed the tiny charm he had added to her jewelry. "What... what is it?" she asked, her indignity lost as her scientific curiosity took over.
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> > "It's called a HED... a little invention by a friend of mine that allowed her to indulge in her more artistic side..." he grinned.
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> > "How does it work? What does it do?"
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> > He tapped the side of his misshapen nose mysteriously. "Knowing the way these stories go, well... I can only hope you get to find out."
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> > Once the program began compiling, it took 2.4563467285439 seconds for enough of her mind to reassemble from scattered bits of code to allow reactivated sentience.
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> > From there, it took another 1.82398736598 seconds for her to collate and digest enough available information to understand what was happening, not just in the room, but in the world beyond, leading her to manifest a holographic version of herself between Helen McAllistair and her attacker.
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> > Finally, it took 0.000000238 seconds for Hallie to decide to channel enough of the station's power supply into the body of the Search Engineer to black out the entire laboratory levels while flinging him completely through the bullet proof glass of he clean room.
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> > "Zho... zee hat, eet restored zheir mehmories?" Brap asked as the exhausted Venom amalgam wearily struggled to punch itself one last time.
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> > Visionary winced. "Um... apparently so."
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> > "All three of zhem at once?"
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> > "Four, if you count the symbiote" Visionary noted. "Which really gave them a chance to see what they all thought of each other."
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> > "Weel zhey remembahr zhis wheen zhe timeline ees restored?"
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> > "God, I hope not" Visionary replied. "I mean, bad enough that Muffy can share Al's memories of Kinki... and others..."
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> > "Oui, zhat ees sometheeng of a complication to romance..."
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> > The Regular blinked. "Oh... yeah... their romance. Um, yeah... that too. I was mostly worried about Muffy coming to kill me."
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> > "For bringing zhese memories to her attention?"
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> > "For letting Al share the memory of that time during the Transworld Challenge where she, Trickshot and I went to blow off some steam, got drunk and she ended up singing "Cheeseburger in Paradise" in the interstellar Karaoke bar."
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> > Brap took one look at the writhing (though exhausted) mass of hatred before them and casually stepped further away from Visionary.
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> > Helen McAllistair awoke with a cough, which sent a painful jolt through her chest. She opened her eyes to find the room bathed in a soft green glow. "Oh" she said, blinking, as she looked up into the eyes of the woman cradling her gently. "You're pretty."
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> > "I..." Hallie was at a loss as to how to respond, so instead gave her a small, worried smile. "Don't talk... You've suffered a severe gunshot wound. I'm using some pretty fancy force field tricks to plug the holes and keep your organs functioning, but holographic tissue replacement isn't exactly an approved treatment..."
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> > Helen shook her head weakly. "I've been quiet my whole life... I don't want to be that way now." She looked up at the glowing woman above her. "Did you expose The Moderator to the world?"
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> > Hallie looked about at the blacked-out room. "There's no power left" she swallowed. "I need to stay here to keep your heart going."
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> > "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
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> > "You have nothing to apologize for..."
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> > "I helped him..." she noted miserably, coughing. "And even after I saw what he was... knew he needed to be stopped... I didn't. I was so scared... I did nothing." She winced in pain as another spasm wracked her body. "It wasn't until the others came... your friends... that I finally acted. I thought... maybe I could make up for things... But I'm not the hero. I failed."
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> > "That's not true..."
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> > "But then the Search Engineer showed me the history of my alternate here... He showed me you... and I suddenly knew. You were created 9 years ago, at a point before the retcon. Engineer would have tasked Zelnitz to dispose of you... but I know him. I knew he couldn't have done it. Too much of a prize..." She broke down coughing again. "You were the second chance."
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> > "I'm going to get you out of here, Helen..." Hallie whispered urgently. "I'm going to get you help..."
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> > "You're so pretty..." the Mouse noted again in an unfocused voice. "I wish I had your hair. I wish I got to be the hero... just once. But I'm not you." She closed her eyes and sighed. "I think I know one way I can help, though..."
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> > And with one last ragged breath, Helen McAllistair died.
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