Adventures in Parodyverse - Outlaws of the New Law Part 3


    Liu Xi Xian awoke in a ridiculously decorated room.  She was lying on a perfectly round bed with semi-transparent curtains draped all around it.  Outside the curtains was a bedroom decorated with gaudy gold, purple, and black furniture and tapestries, like something a Central American dictator might select.

    The explanation came to her quickly as she began to sense what happened.  That tasteless Central American dictator was The Moderator, and she had been dumped into his private bedroom.

    She sat up and started to become more aware of her surroundings.  She wore a simple white wedding dress and a ridiculously huge diamond ring.  “Oh, not again!”  she growled to herself as she angrily threw the ring across the room.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“May I help you with something?”  a familiar voice asked.  It was Anna, dressed smartly in a black tuxedo jacket and matching skirt and high-heeled shoes.  Apparently she had been re-purposed as a butler or something.  She stood perfectly still and at attention.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anna?”  Liu Xi asked.  She could sense that her elemental abilities were being suppressed.  But as Chiaki said, The Moderator often forgot a few details in his exploits.  She had other abilities.  “What happened to you?”

    The android suddenly became more animated, and even smiled.  “The Moderator’s Software Engineer uploaded new software to my brain.  Upon examination I determined it’s supposed to make me The Moderator’s personal servant.  For my own survival I’ve kept up the charade.  I couldn’t respond to you until I was sure Dead Boy had gone.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dead Boy?”  Liu Xi answered.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He was forced to vacate Lara Night when she was put to death.”

    Liu Xi saddened at that news.  She looked down at the floor, and the sinking feeling overtook her that the battle had been lost while she was unconscious.  But then a small glimmer of hope glowed within her as she remembered Faite.  “Wait,”  she asked suddenly, “What do you mean until he had gone?”

    Anna sighed, and looked at Liu Xi with pity.  She sat down on the edge of the bed gingerly.  “Dead Boy possessed you during the ceremony where you...married The Moderator.”

    There was a string of cursewords in both Chinese and English that Anna was sure The Moderator, as well as the entire Eastern Seaboard, would hear.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Of course he didn’t sleep with you,”  Anna reassured her, “Or touch you, or kiss you.  I suppose being possessed by Dead Boy made that distasteful for him.  So much for the rumors of his tendency to like males.  Anyway, you went unconscious when Dead Boy was forced out, and his guards deposited you here.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Forced out?”  Liu Xi asked.

    Anna laughed ironically as she said, “The Moderator wanted the support of the Lords of Hell.  So he turned Dead Boy over to them to torture in exchange for cooperation.”

    Liu Xi’s teeth were still clenched when she slid off the bed and said, “I need to get out of this stupid dress.”

    The android made a slight whistling noise to get attention.  She was holding Liu Xi’s neatly folded and cleaned clothing.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh.  Thank you.”  Liu Xi smiled warmly and took the clothing.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m sure you’d like to take a shower after being possessed,”  Anna suggested.  She was carrying two towels.  “The Moderator won’t be returning for several hours, so you have time.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How do you know that for sure?”  Liu Xi asked.

    Anna frowned and rolled her eyes.  “He said his quarters are dusty, and he expects them spotless when he returns at the end of the day.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Okay,”  Liu Xi replied.  “But I’m going to use my own.”  With that she slipped out the door left unlocked - purposely or otherwise - by Anna, and slipped out into the Lair Mansion.


---


    Liu Xi’s room was unchanged from the last time she was there.  A little untidy, dustier than she remembered, and no longer hidden from the mansion, but still there.  The small bedroom, the small living area with a television and surround sound.  All silent, but still present - a heartwarming reminder of what once was.

    Even after a fairly long, hot shower, she still felt like she needed another.  Being possessed and forcibly wedded, and deposited carelessly like a possession in The Moderator’s quarters, it left her feeling like she had been permanently tainted somehow.

    When she exited, Anna was waiting patiently in the room.  She offered Liu Xi a seat...she looked like she had some more to tell.  Foregoing a seat for herself, Anna began speaking as soon as Liu Xi sat down.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Chiaki performed what the Japanese Samurai call Hara-Kiri.”  Anna informed Liu Xi softly.  “She killed several guards and then took her own life.  While The Moderator could suppress super-powered humans, he could not take away Chiaki’s talents with a blade.  Even a fairly small one one of the guards was carrying.”

    Liu Xi hung her head sadly.  “Are you going to tell me that you and I are the only ones left alive?”

    Anna shook her head.  “No, there is one other.  The Moderator misjudged Yuki Shiro’s ability to repair herself.  She escaped, and her whereabouts are unknown.  The Moderator is very angry about that, he executed ten guards because of it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And Faite?”  Liu Xi asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“She has disappeared again,”  Anna said.  She sat down across from Liu Xi and lowered her voice to a whisper.  “I think it has something to do with Lara and Chiaki’s death.  Perhaps they’re alive somewhere.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Then why haven’t they contacted us?”  Liu Xi protested.  “If they were alive, they would have contacted us.”

    Anna stared at Liu Xi, but didn’t say a thing.  Liu Xi silently realized that what Anna’s words had subtext to them, but she couldn’t say too much for fear that someone loyal to The Moderator might be listening.  Liu Xi showed she understood by saying no more on the subject.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anna,”  she whispered.  “What’s my purpose here?”

    The android unfolded a towel she brought with her.  Inside was baseball cap, which she slid it across the table.  The cap said ‘Hatman’ on it.  Beneath the cap was the shiny, glowing necklace Liu Xi had hidden a seed of the Shoggoth within.  “The Moderator is quite font of his trophies,”  she said.  “Fortunately he also wishes them kept perfectly clean.”


---


    Liu Xi entered the quarters of what used to be Hatman’s, as usual, without knocking.  It was second nature to her - so she was a little taken aback that the man now called Doorman was so surprised to see her.  Especially because he was packing a small bag.  He raised his hands and backed up against a wall.  His eyes registered sheer terror.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I...I didn’t mean to--”  he stammered.  “Please, execute me if you must, but don’t make me suffer.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What?”  Liu Xi asked, sounding confused.  She shook her head.  “I’m not here to execute you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re not?”  Jay lowered his hands slowly.  “But you’re The Moderator’s new wife--”

    Liu Xi rushed across the room to Jay and grabbed him by his shirt angrily.  “Don’t ever say that again!”  she growled.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m sorry!  Please, I don’t want to offend you or The Moderator!”

    She relented then, when she realized just how terrified he was of her actions.  She let go of his shirt and calmly asked, “Did he hurt you?”

    Jay swallowed hard.  “I’m the Doorman.  I took twenty lashes for letting Yuki Shiro escape the mansion.”

    Liu Xi was shaken by the thought of that.  Not only was The Moderator dangerous, he was sadistic as well.  “I’m not going to hurt you.  I want to help you.  Do...you remember me?”

    He nodded slightly.  “You escaped...somehow.  Tried to join the resistance.  But The Moderator brought you back, and made you his--”  He cut himself off, and swallowed hard, afraid to use that word again.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No.”  Liu Xi insisted.  “Do you...remember me?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m just the Doorman.”  He shook his head.

    Feeling desperate and angry, Liu Xi glanced at the hat she carried.  That made Jay look at it, too, only he didn’t have a glimmer of recognition.  She grabbed him again, this time more gently, around his midsection and kissed Jay the way he did long ago when he once lost control temporarily and enjoyed it a little too much.  Maybe that would bring back a memory.

    She thought it might be working...she felt his hands wrap around the curves of her small waist, and she was gently pulled closer to him.  It felt so warm, so soothing, so friendly, in a way she hadn’t felt since before the whole Moderator takeover began.  She felt absorbed by it, and her other thoughts faded into the distance.

    Liu Xi realized much too late that The Moderator had cleverly suppressed her inhibitions in order to seduce her later on.  She had awoken a while later, and couldn’t remember much detail besides that she and Jay made love to the point of exhaustion - it was as if she blacked out or something.  She looked at how content he was, with his eyes closed, and guessed that his will had been suppressed too, in order to make him more malleable and less resistant or defiant to The Moderator’s influence.

    She sat up suddenly.  She forgot about what she’d done when she realized she discovered The Moderator’s secret.  He wasn’t overwriting personalities...or the Hooded Hood’s retcon didn’t, anyway.  It merely suppressed them, pushed them aside and replaced them with something else.  Hoplessness...that’s what replaced it.  The Moderator sent relentless waves of hopelessness all around him.

    Ã¢â‚¬ËœThis had better be worth it’, she thought to herself as she looked at Jay snoozing happily, ‘because if it’s not, The Moderator will execute us both for this.’

    Liu Xi took the baseball cap from the table next to the bed and slipped it onto his head.  She shook him gently to wake him, and said, “Wake up!”

    Jay’s eyes opened slowly, glancing at Liu Xi.  He smiled dreamily, and for just a sliver of a moment it looked like he recognized her.  He felt the cap on his head, and looked up.  He then took it off, glanced at it, and slowly said...“Who’s Hatman?”

    She angrily grabbed her clothing and tried to climb out of the bed.  She was frustrated and fed up.  Her best attempt had failed...she wasted her time and possibly jeopardized her life and her friendship with the real Jay for no reason.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wait!”  Jay said, grabbing her arm to stop her.  

    Liu Xi turned around suddenly, thinking maybe there was still a chance...

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Did I displease you?”  Jay said, to the tune of Liu Xi’s heart sinking to new depths of sadness.  “Did I comply with all your wishes, Wife of The Moderator?  Please tell me I did, The Moderator will punish me if I didn’t make you happy!”

    Liu Xi growled as she wrenched free of his grip and stormed out of the room, headed back to her own room to hide.  As she ran, she fought tears grown from despair and horror as she began to feel the hopelessness of her situation, added to the hopelessness The Moderator spread around him.

    After she left, Jay looked at the cap, staring at it as if something was vaguely familiar about it.  He then put it back on his nightstand and headed to work as the Doorman.  But deep within his mind, the seeds had been sewn.


---


    Tears still running down her face, Liu Xi fished a seemingly innocent looking tiny black leather bound book from her jeans pocket.  She whispered two words, and the book grew to a huge tome.  The Moderator may be suppressing her elemental gifts, but she didn’t forget the spells she’d learned from Xander and Cleone.  She flipped open the book, and the room turned dark and cold.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What are you doing?”  Anna asked as she arrived.  She had been pacing the hall, trying not to look like she was waiting for Liu Xi to return.

    The Chinese elementalist looked at her, but didn’t really seem to acknowledge her presence.  Liu Xi’s eyes were black as night, and she was breathing slowly, like she was trying to keep her concentration through the tears.  “No, don’t try to stop me.  I know what I’m doing.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m not sure I understand,”  Anna replied.  She moved closer, and realized that Liu Xi wasn’t talking to her.  She was talking to the Shoggoth shard in the necklace, which was whispering.  Anna took the book from her and looked at the cover.  It was written in Alko.  “Liu Xi, you can’t!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I can, and I will!”  She snatched the book back violently, and then wiped away the tears with her sleeve.  “The Moderator will come for me in a few hours.  By the time he does, he will have taken the offices of the creators of the Parodyverse, and he’ll be able to mold it to his own liking.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You won’t be able to control the Fairly Great Old Ones,”  the Shoggoth fragment whispered.  “They will enslave us all.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, they will eat us all!”  Liu Xi corrected angrily.  “If there is nothing left, there is nothing for The Moderator to control.  The Parodyverse will have to rebuild from scratch.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Rebuild...?  You’re going to try to sieze control of the Parodyverse, aren’t you?”  Anna whispered, taking a step back.

    Liu Xi frowned at her, and then turned her attention back to the book.  She tried to find her place again, but she couldn’t concentrate.  The guilt began to eat away at her.  She wished there was another way.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, don’t let despair take you over like that,”  she heard another, much more energetic and excited voice say.  The room lit up in a rainbow of glowing colors.  “You’re scaring the straights.”

    As she guessed, it was CrazySugarFreakBoy!.  She didn’t bother to ask him what happened to his arm, or where he’d been.  Just the fact that he was there meant the Parodyverse wasn’t doomed after all.  The forces of Chaos were alive and well, and they would save everyone.

    He gently held her in his arms as she began to sob, only pausing a moment to will the book back to micro size so it wouldn’t be found accidentally.  The text notoriously hard to read at normal size, at micro size it was near impossible.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t worry, Liu Xi,”  he whispered to her.  “We’re going to save the world.”  He patted her on the back gently, letting her get all the cry out of her system.  Those last three words echoed in her mind, and went straight to her heart.  ‘Save the world’....it’s what she had been waiting to hear.

    Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Yuki Shiro standing in the doorway, patiently waiting.  She and Anna exchanged quiet nods.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes,”  the familiar yet scarce voice of Faite declared.  Liu Xi was surprised to see her appearing normally, without the usual breeze and weirdness.  “Our time runs short.  We must assemble everyone quickly.”

    With the overpowering scent of ozone and the slightest ‘pop’, Lara Night appeared in a flash of light, holding up the recently resurrected and still weak Psychic Samurai on her shoulder.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“This is no time for a nervous breakdown, kiddo.”  Yuki told Liu Xi with a sly smile.

    Thanks to Yuki’s sense of humor, Liu Xi finally managed to stop the tears, though they had turned from sadness to happiness long before that.

    CSFB! finally let go of Liu Xi and smiled at her, “You know, sex is really good after crying.  Want to see?”

    She hit him hard on his good arm, but cheerily, as she realized things weren’t so hopeless after all.
    

TO BE CONTINUED?

Writer’s Note:  I’ve been writing all of this considering the theory that anyone who’s been retconned/renewed by the Moderator Saga won’t remember what happened, or maybe will only vaguely.  This will create some interesting scenarios.  Liu Xi will remember what happened because she hasn’t been changed (and CSFB! if she tells him) but Hatman won’t, which may create some awkwardness.  The Psychic Samurai and Yuki will be left with the memory of dying.  Lara Night will be doomed to remember everything, including The Moderator himself, even if no one else does - because she isn’t from the Parodyverse.  As usual, let me know if this causes any major problems.


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2008 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin