"The Princess and the Great North Star Part Twelve.... Chapter Two"






Read this first.


"Stop him!" Fruitcake screamed to his assembled gang, "Stop that Christmas-minded Killjoy, before he ruins eeeevvvverrrthing!"

"Who are you calling a killjoy, you Grinch in Greasepaint?" the Silver Aegis countered. He charged towards the villain, lowering his shield to plow through the goons attempting to stall him.

"Silver Aegis?" Cinderbelle whispered, "I didn't know he was a member of the Lair Legion."

Her companion, Sarah Shepherdson, whispered back, "He's not. And that's not. The Silver Aegis that is."

"Then who- ?"

THWAM!! The Argent Avenger punched a thug who had attempted to cosh him with a stocking full with doorknobs. KATHUD!! Two more men fell, their heads cracked together, with no visions of dancing sugarplums in sight.

"This is what happens when you wait until the last minute to go looking for minions, Fruitcake; all the good ones are taken!" Silver Aegis quipped as he tossed three more into an over-sized Christmas ornament. CAKRASH!!

From the raised dais the villain glared down at the hero choke-slamming another of his hoods, "HOOHOOHOO! Aren't you jolly?! I HAAAAATTTE jolly. Max, FLOCK him!!"

"Er, what?" Dancer looked puzzled.

Mary Prankster hopped out from behind a monstrous Jack In the Box, a flocking gun strapped to her back, "You got it, figgy puddin'!"

FWOOSH! A stream of frost blasted from the weapon, striking Silver Aegis on the arm. The ice stuck to his shoulder and the wall behind it, effectively pinning the Shield Flinger.

"Ooh, nice shot!" Fruitcake snapped open his switchblade, "Get his other arm and I'll carve my initials on his chest!"

"Don't you mean our initials, Mistah F? Hey- watch out! Uff!"

Dancer bolted from her hiding place and dropped the Hellacious Harlequin with a Baseball slide Fireman's Take-down.

"Got you covered, big guy!" Sarah called to the Silver Aegis as she put Mary in a Leg Saddle Heel Hook.

The Star Spangled Sensation seemed stunned by Dancer's arrival. He quickly recovered, and tore his way free from the glacial embrace that held him.

"Dancer? What's going on?" he asked.

"We'll settle that later," the Heroine of Happenstance promised while subduing Prankster with a vicious Cross-face Chicken Wing, "Now's the time to put the kibosh on Fruitcake's plans for the holidays!"

Nodding slightly to himself, Silver Aegis advanced on the knife-wielding villain. He slapped away his foe's shank and dropped him to his knees with a well-placed gut punch- "OOF!" before hoisting him by his lapels so that his feet were dangling- "WOOP!"

"It's over, Fruitcake. Your Tannenbaum inspired tantrum is finished. But I have to ask: why do you do it? What's your problem with celebrating Christmas?"

It took a moment for the Holiday Hating Harlequin to catch his breath, but when he did he gave a lopsided grin and said, "Aheh... isn't it obvious, Silver Aegis? I'm Jewish!!"

"What?" the revelation caught the Patriotic Powerhouse off guard, so that he did not see Fruitcake retrieve a pair of bludgeons from his jacket's long sleeves.

KLOOONNNNGG! The villain struck both sides of the Aegis's head, an attack that caused him to fall to the ground.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Psych!" Fruitcake cackled triumphantly. His face twisted into a maniacal sneer as he raised his Slay Bells high over his head, ready to bring them down onto his enemy's skull, "Now to deck your halls....permanently!"

FWOOSH! Again the flocking gun fired, but this time it's salvo was directed at its inventor. A stunned Fruitcake found himself encased in a block of ice.

Cinderbelle lowered the weapon and smiled, "This must be how the Cold Miser feels."

"Mistah F! NOOOOOOOO!!!" Mary Prankster muscled out of Dancer's hold and rushed up to her latest fixation, "Speak to me, please! Don't freeze out your Satanic Little Helper!" Crying, she wrapped her arms around the ice coated criminal and gave him a deep kiss that she was unsurprisingly unable to pull herself from:

"Uth-Oth," she mumbled worriedly.

"Thank you, Miss," Silver Aegis bent down to shake the Christmas Fairy's hand, "If you and Dancer hadn't stepped in when you did things could have gotten messy."

Dancer shrugged and brushed some tinsel from her hair, "Its all part of the job description. But of course, you know that, don't you, Mister Epitome?"

The big man in the bright chain-mail was silent for a moment, then he pulled off his cowl, revealing the hard features of the Lair Legion's own ultra-patriot.



"Of course I do," Dominic Clancy agreed.

Shep smiled, "Good. Now, before this conversation starts to take a Freudian turn, I was wondering if you could help us with one other thing: you haven't seen Zebulon at all lately, have you?"

The Man of Might's eyes narrowed at the reference to society's premiere psychoanalyst, but answered anyway, "The elf? No."

"OK then. Thanks. I guess, then, we better get going, unless you want to discuss your current holiday attire--"

"There's nothing to discuss."

"Sure, right. The fact you're wearing another hero's costume means nothing."

"Correct."

"Sometimes a Super Soldier is just a Super Soldier."

"Indeed."

Cinderbelle spoke up, "You know, this is the wrong time of year to be telling fibs. Uh, sir."

As a decidedly less jovial-looking Dominic turned his attention back at the fairy Dancer stepped in between them, "Well, look at the time! Our ride will be here any moment, and I'm sure you've got other evil doers to thwart, so we'll just be on our way. Happy Holidays!" and with a wave the two women were off.

"Well, that was enlightening," Sarah observed as they walked out of her former teammate dream, "I would have guessed the Grinch, but who knew Dominic was a Batman fan?"

"How did you know it was Mr. Epitome and not Silver Aegis?" Cinderbelle asked, trudging double time besides her.

"I recognized his dimples."

The Christmas sprite thought back to the man's severe countenance, "I didn't see any."

"That's because you weren't looking in the right place, which is weird, because given your height you had the perfect view," Sarah smirked, "Now, where to next?"


THE END