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| Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post |
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Washington D.C. 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The White House. The Future. In the Oval Office, looking out the window a man stood. He had his arms were crossed behind his back. He looked out on what was happening outside. He wore a burgundy red tweed suit. His trouser were a bit short. One could clearly see the red & yellow striped socks he wore. Also on his feet were an old dirty pair of yellow Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. His maroon colored hair was neatly trimmed & slicked back. Just then, a man entered the the office. "Mr. President?" He said. "Yes?" The man at the window said as he turned to face the man. You could now see that his hair was slightly balding & greying at the temples. He had a few wrinkles & they were more present when he spoke. "Uh…" The man by the door started to say. "Yes? Spit it out." "Mr. President. We're ready for you." "Excellent!" "But, sir…" the secret service officer began to speak but was interrupted. "What is this time?" "You may want to take those out of your nose, sir." He said as he pointed to the leader of the free world's nose. In each nostril was stuck a brightly colored jelly bean. "Oh! Yes. Thanks for the heads up. That would have been embarrassing, going on live TV with those up there." He said as took a deep breath through his mouth & blew the air out of his nose. The small candies flew out & fell down on to his desk. "Sorry about that. It's an old habit, helps me relax." "No problem, sir." "Can you do me a favor? Not tell the first lady you saw me with those in my nose?" The President said with a smile. "Yes, sir." "Excellent." The President started to make his way for the door as a small calico colored hamster crawled out from inside a desk drawer to eat the discarded jelly beans that now laid on the desk. As he past by the secret service agent, he asked "I look ok, right?" "Yes, sir." came the reply. President Beeslyhuxtoy smiled again & made his way down the hallway to the press conference he had called. It's been a rough few weeks, talks between him & Commissar Boaz have broken down. So today he is declaring war on Candia. One of the many desert regions in Arizona. A few weeks ago. A large black helicopter is slowly descending from the sky. It will land beside of the highway. Standing there on the ground are two men. The taller of the two's well worn neon yellow knee length trench coat is flapping in the wind caused by the lading aircraft. Under his coat, starting from the bottom going up is a dirty pair of yellow Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. On his feet & in the shoes are red & yellow striped knit socks. Moving up his body, he wore a paint of high water burgundy red tweed slacks with a black plastic belt. His belt proudly told anyone who read it that Virginia is for Lovers! Partially obscuring anyone's view of the belt buckle is his mustard yellow/sangria red striped knit sweater vest. Under the vest is a mustard yellow dress shirt & his tilted to the left a bit fire engine red bow tie. His maroon colored red hair is done up in what looks like a messy attempt at a pompadour. He also had on a pair of glasses, they were the kind that would would get at movie theaters if you were going to see a 3-D movie. He was holding a mustard yellow handkerchief over his mouth & nose to avoid breathing in any of the dust being kicked up. His friend is dressed as follows: He had navy blue canvas Chuck Taylor All-Star tennis shoes. On his feet & in his shoes were a pair of argyle socks. He wore a well-worn, ripped in places, pair of blue jeans. Moving up the body, he had a unbuttoned red & black flannel shirt on. Under the flannel shirt was a dark grey t-shirt. It was for the band Inflatable Monkey & was sold on their '98 tour. The shirt, much like the pants as well worn. It had the Band's logo/mascot: a big, pink monkey shaped balloon animal. He had messy, dark brown hair & a pair of black horned rimmed glasses which were slight askew. On his back worn like a backpack was a seen better days Accordion. He was holding his arm over his mouth & nose to avoid breathing in any of the dust. Once the wind & dust had died down, the door on the craft slid open. Out stepped a tall, slender man. He was bald man of african decent. His goatee was trimmed nicely & he had a black eyepatch over one of his eyes. He was dressed in all black. His long black leather trench coat flapped around a bit in a slight breeze. He had a look of contempt on his face. "Misters' Chadwick L Swiss & Ronald Arnold Gerrimoto Beeslyhuxtoy, I presume?" "You may." Ronnie said. "I'm Dan Drury.." "No your not!" Ronnie interrupted. "I've met Drury. A few times! He's got hair, is a an old white guy & wears his eye patch on the side." The black man in black looked like we about to say something but decided against it. "I'm Dan Drury's emissary & I'm here to talk to you about the Legionnaire Initiative." "oh. Sorry. Does Dan D want us to sign something to get his Initiative on the November ballot?" Ronnie asked. "It's not that type of Initiative, Mister Beeslyhuxtoy." Tibet. The last bar before heading up the mountain. Next Year, May. There were people scattered about the place. The Bar was quite the only sound that could heard was the wind howling outside. Then the door burst open & everyone looked up from what they were doing to see who it was. Standing in the door were two men. Both of them were outfitted with all the gear you'd need to survive at that altitude. The two of them walked over to the bar. Once out of the doorway, they shorter of the two of them closed it behind them. Then everyone went back to what they were doing. The two sat down at the bar. The Bartender walked over to them & asked "Who ye be?" "Who we be?" Said the taller one as he undid his burgundy red & mustard yellow scarf. "We be Chad & Ronnie!" The Bartender blankly looked at them. "And we are here to ask you a question." "Yeah. What is it?" Ronnie reached into his pocket, pulled out a picture & showed it to the bartender. "Have you seen this man?" The Bartender recoiled in fear, knocking over a few bottles & then slowly moved away from them. Ronnie spun around on his stool to face the bar patrons. "Have any of you seen this man?" He asked in english first then in a half a dozen other language. All that saw the picture reacted the same as the bartender. The bar was almost empty except for the two of them at the bar & one man sitting in a corner booth. Chad & Ronnie got up from their stools. They walked over to him. Ronnie slapped the photo down at table in front of the man & asked. "Have you seen this man?" The man looked at the photo & replied. "Yeah. I've seen him." Ronnie was a bit shocked at this answer. "Really?" Ronnie said as he sat down across from the man. "Yeah." "When?" "Last Month." Ronnie gave a brief glance up to Chad before asking "Where?" "Badripoor." "What were they doing when you last saw them?" "Floating." "Floating?" "Yeah. I tossed their body into the drink & walked off." "What have you been doing since then?" "Not much. Mostly sitting here, drinking." "Anything good?" "Heck No! They never get anything good up here." Ronnie glances over to Chad for a moment. "So… are you here to arrest me for killing that guy?" "No." Ronnie said before Chad grabbed the back of the man head & shoved it forcefully into the table. "We were just asked to find you. Three will some nice men from OPS here shortly to arrest you." Ronnie said as he stood up from the booth. Then he reached into a pocket & pulled out a small rectangular device. He pressed a button which would send a signal to the nearest OPS Satellite. Ronnie looked over a his friend & asked "You wanna go skiing?" Chad nodded his head in agreement. "cool." The two of them exited the bar. | |||
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