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Subj: The Ham-Tastic Adventures of Ham-Boy #17 "California Scheming Part 2: Everything is Old is New again!" Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 at 08:32:48 pm EDT (Viewed 470 times) | |||
The Hollywood Hills, California, Mid Morning. The condo currently being rented by Agent Jerry White for the usage of his client, Keeley Montgomery & her family. They have a house guest: Ham-Boy. Keeley, her parents (Lynne & Michael), Ham-Boy, Jerry & Jerry's assistant were all in the breakfast nook talking about how Keeley's is going to go. In the adjoining Living Room were Keeley's younger sister & older brother (Aly & Travis) were sitting on either end of the large sectional couch. All thought neither were paying attention to it the TV was on. It was tuned to the Fame Channel, the channel that current airs the show reality Keeley is part of: Surviving Hollywood. Ham-Boy has never seen it but was told the premise of the show was about a group of actors, both former child actors (which Keeley was) & those that have yet to achieve fame. The show was just about to go into their fourth season. Out the corner of Jerry's eye he seeing that a commercial for the new season is on the screen. He yells to travis, who was closest to the remote to turn up the volume. he does so & everyone watched the commercial. Everyone seemed to be really excited about it but Ham-Boy wasn't sure why. Everyone was about to go back to what they were doing but didn't because of what came on screen next. "Hello. I'm Bryan Crestfall & this is a Fame Channel News Update." Crestfall, among other things, was the co-host of the Fame Channels' News program. He was standing in the Fame Channel News studio. Behind him was a screen showing some stock footage of Keeley. "We have just received photos of Fame Channels' own Keeley Montgomery leaving nightclub Hush early this morning. This is the first we have seen her in months. She was not in the last few episodes of Surviving Hollywoods' third season or been out clubbing like she had been. But from these photos may have answered why." As Crestfall spoke, somewhat blurry photos were shown on screen with a caption " Montgomery's New Look?" at the bottom of the screen. "From the looks of it, Keeley has had some work done. Fame Channel News has not received confirmation on this from either Keeley, her agent or anyone from Surviving Hollywood, which airs Sundays at 8 pm. Season 4 premieres next month & Keeley is listed as still being a cast member. For the full story on this & other news story happening in & around Hollywood join me & Julie for Fame Channel News tonight at 7 pm." When the News update was over, everyone looks at Keeley. "What?" was her response. "What have I told you?" Jerry said angrily. Before Keeley could think of what, Jerry continued. "We have a planned out first appearance for you & that was to happen in a week or two. Closer to the premiere of Season 4!" "I'm sorry. Becky called me up last night & asked if I wanted to go out." "You should have said no & how did she call you?" "on my phone." Keeley said bluntly as she took the phone from the pocket of the bathrobe she was wearing & then showed it to him. "But I took it from you, a few months ago." Jerry said & then looked Lynne. "Sorry. I didn't know she couldn't have it back yet." Jerry sighed. "Months of planning down the toilet. Now we can't do most of what I had planned for the day." "Why not?" Lynne asked. "Everyone with a camera is going to be looking for her. The first quote, unquote good shot of Keeley is going to be worth a lot of money." "Can't you just take one?" Lynne asked & then continued motioning to Ham-Boy. "Maybe one with Keeley & Ham-Boy together?" "No. No. It's doesn't work that way. Plus, we need to set up the rumor of the relationship first before we show it." Ham-Boy didn't quite understand that but many things that have been happening lately he hasn't quite understood. "Is there anything planned for today we can do?" Jerry looks over the schedule. "Not much. About the only thing is filming for season 4 of Surviving Hollywood. The crew has already seen her & security around the shoot is heavy enough to keep out gawkers. Maybe they can work this in somehow. They'd only need to recreate the phone call from last night." "and Becky was being filmed a bit by the show last night." Keeley mentioned. "This could work to our favor!" The conversation of what Keeley's reworked day would be followed. A few minutes later, Ham-Boy asked a question "This doesn't seem to involve me much, what should I be doing?" "Uh…" Jerry started but paused. "I don't know. What do you normally do when your not needed?" "Patrol the city." "Then go do that!" So. Ham-Boy gets up from the table to go get changed. The conversation started up once more. Ham-Boy, now dressed in his uniform, makes his was over to the Condo's driveway. Sitting there was the cherry red Ham-Scooter. It was brought over from Goth Haven because Jerry thought it might look good on TV. Ham-Boy puts on his helmet & drives away from the Condo to patrol Los Angles. He wasn't sure what he'd do since he wasn't aware of crime in Los Angles beyond the normal stuff that he could help out in. He had no real jurisdiction there. He didn't have any in Goth Haven either but there he an unwritten agreement with the local police. Out there in California he might just arrested for doing some of he does at home. Made he could use his Lair Legion membership as a means of establishing jurisdiction. He drove around the city, looking for anything he could do to help out. He was also going around seeing the sights as he came upon them. He had been in City for over a week. He not seen much more then the Condo & the airport. As he drives around he's not aware that he is being watched. High above the city, on a rooftop a man clad in multiple shades of green leather pulls out his cellphone & sends out a text to a group of his friends: OMG! ZOMG!! ZOFMG!!!1!! He gets back a text: who did u c now and another text from another recipient that was just one punctuation mark: ? He responds with this: just saw hamboy Which prompt each of the other recipients ask questions like: What would Ham-Boy be doing in L.A.? Is he sure it was him? He responds that he was going for a closer look. He put his phone back in his pocket & started to jumping from rooftop to rooftop in the direction he saw Ham-Boy drive in. He was looking all over for the red scooter & it's driver. After a 20 minute search, he was tired from all the jumping & sat down on the edge of a roof top to rest for a bit. In an alleyway across the street, there was parked a red scooter. He stood up, wiped the sweat of off & pulled his retractible bow off his back. He got an arrow from the quiver hanging off his belt. He pulled back on the bow, aimed at the brick wall across the street & let go. The arrow flew across the street & lodged it's self into the wall. Attached to the arrow was a thin cord which the archer then tied the end he had to a pipe. He then used his bow to slide down over the traffic to the red scooter. Just before slamming into the wall, he jumped down & began to examine the scooter. First thing he saw was it didn't have a California license plate. As he continued to examine the vehicle, he heard something & spun around to see the one the one he was searching about to attack him with a 2 foot long Salami. "Wait!" He said, closed his eyes & put up his bow up to shield him. When he realized that he was being hit with a deli meat he opened his eyes & had a pissed looking super hero looking at him. "Well…" "What?" "What do you want? You almost shot me with with an arrow! You've got five seconds before I start hitting you." "I wasn't doing that. I was just using the arrow as a means of getting to you." "Why?" "I wanted to meet you. We don't get very main big name Super Heroes here on the west coast." Ham-Boy began to look over his non-attacker & then asks "Are you a super hero?" He wasn't in the mood to have a team-up. "Trying to be!" The leather clad super hero said as he folded back up his bow & put it back on his back. "What's your name?" "Well.. I am Trickshot!" He said gleefully as he struck a heroic pose. "No, your not." Ham-Boy responded. "Your uniform is all wrong, your too young & don't have a goatee." Ham-Boy really hoped that he hadn't crossed over into some alternate dimension. He was even in less of of a mood for that. "I'm working on that." He said as he rubbed his chin. "It's take a while for it to grow in." "Why are you ripping off a member of the Lair Legion, couldn't you come with a costumed identity of your own?" "I could. But I thought that if I want to get famous faster it was better to go with a name people around knew. Plus, no one has seen the original Trickshot in years so I thought the name & gimmick was up for grabs." Ham-Boy thought of explaining what happened to the first & second Trickshots but didn't think he had the time. "So… your… a… uh… um…" Ham-Boy said, he was trying to come up with the best words to use. "uh.. a re-imagining of Trickshot?" Trickshot thought about it for a moment. "I guess you could say that. I'm a Trickshot for a new generation!" Ham-Boy shivered a bit when he said that. "Are there any others of you out here?" "Yeah. Me & a few of my friends have formed the Juvenile Battalion of Heroes!" Thought about the name for a moment, sighed & then said "You formed a new JBH." "Yes. It's a name already with brand recognition." Trickshot said with a smile. Ham-Boy didn't like it, it felt fake. Everything about him felt fake. But then that has been his impression of California as a whole: fake. "Would you like to meet the rest of the team? I'm sure they'd like to meet you." "Sure. Where do you meet? In a spaceship called Vessel?" Ham-Boy said with a smile. Trickshot blankly looked at him. Ham-Boy sighed & rolled his eyes. "The original JBH met in a spaceship called Vessel." "oh. No. We don't have enough money for a spaceship. We meet in this cool tricked out cave up in the Hollywood Hills." "ok. Let's go." "Cool. Let me text my teammates to meet us there. Oh, man this is some awesome!" Ham-Boy rolled his eyes again. | |||
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