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The Hollywood Hills, California.
Morning.

The affluent and exclusive neighborhood looking down over Los Angles & surrounded by the Santa Monica mountains. This area serves as a sanctuary for many of the Hollywood elite. Then there is the condo rented out to Jerry White. The monthly cost of renting it is well outside his pay range but it continues to rent to keep his most famous client, Keeley Montgomery & her family happy.

Keeley has her own home in Beverly Hills but are they there because Keeley has recently undergone various surgeries. Surgeries that will hopefully take her career to the next stage. Keeley has been cooped up in the house not allowed to leave or go near the windows for fear that the paparazzi will snap a photo of the new & improved Keeley. She hasn't be allowed to have anyone over other her family & his agent. But that all changed when her first guest showed up a few days ago. They have been staying in one of the guest rooms & their alarm clock has just gone off.

He groans a bit as he turns it off. He sits up in a bed & restitutes his cowl. He hasn't taken it off since getting there (he has even kept it on in the shower). He got out of bed, put on his brown terry cloth bathroom & headed out to the kitchen.

As he walked into the main part of the house, most of the family was there. Travis, Keeley's older brother. He was laid out on one of the couches. He was wearing nothing but his off white brief style underwear & one sock. He was strumming his guitar. Beside him was a notebook & every some often he'd write something down in it. Travis is the former lead singer of Trouser Snake, a band that has since disbanded to due "creative differences" according to Travis. There was some half eaten Pop-Tarts on the coffee table near him.

On another couch was Aly. She had her ear buds on & was mouthing the words to the song playing on the music player resting near her. She was dressed up a bit too sexily for this time in the morning & her age. Aly was the next big thing in the family or so he's been told. They are just waiting to hear back from the record companies they have sent her demos to.

In the dining area, just off the kitchen was Keely's Father. He was reading the paper & having breakfast which consisted as a cup of organic fair trade black coffee, whole wheat toast with organic strawberry jam & half a grapefruit. In the kitchen was Keeley's mother. She was dressed in short silk robe. The robe was open to show the silk nightie underneath.

It looked like she was preparing breakfast. All he really wanted to do was have a bowl of Atomic Blasted Coco-Puffs, the kind with the sort of marshmallow bits in the shape of Skulls. But he doesn't think he'll get that. He hasn't in a week he's been there. He guesses he'd had been standing there to long because he had been noticed. Aly took the ear buds out of her ears & turned her head to ask "What do you want, Spam Boy?"

Lynne poked her head out of the kitchen & scold her youngest child. "Allison Melissa Montgomery, you be nice to Mr. Ham Boy! He's our guest & is here to help out your sister's career."

She then looked at Ham-Boy & asked "What can I get you for breakfast, Mr. Boy?"

Ham-Boy moved closer to thew kitchen, as he did Aly glared at him. "It's actually Ham-Boy, Mrs. Montgomery. One hyphenated word."

"Sorry & you can call me Lynne." She said with a smile.

"All right, Mrs…." He said but paused & then continued "Lynne." He not sure but he thinks that Mrs. Montgomery has been hitting on him since he got there.

"What would you like for breakfast?" She asked once more.

Ham-Boy still hasn't a good answer to that question. They all eat odd food on this coast.

"Uh… what type of cereal do we have?" He asks. He knows but hopes that something new has appeared over night.

Lynne goes over to a cabinet near the fridge & opens it. "We have some 3 kinds of Muesli, Grape Nuts, Granola, Raisin Bran & Cheerios."

"I'll have the Cheerios."

Lynne hands him the box. Their hands touch for maybe too long. She gets him a bowl & spoon.

Ham-Boy goes & sits down at the table with Mr. Montgomery. After he has done so, Mr. Montgomery lowers the paper a bit to see who has sat down. He gives Ham-Boy a nod hello, He nods back. Mr. Montgomery raised back up the paper as Ham-Boy pours the Cheerios into the bowl.

As Ham-Boy starts to eat his cereal, Lynne comes & sits down at the table. She has a cup of Coffee.

"So… Ham-Boy: how are you liking California?"

"It's.. " He starts to say with a mouthful of Cheerios but stopped & shallowed before continuing on.

"It's fine. Haven't seen much of it yet. Los Angles seems nice."

Mr. Montgomery said something.

"Micheal!" Lynne said as she punched his shoulder.

"Don't mind him. He's just cynical about L.A." Lynne said & then took a sip of her coffee.

Then from another part of the house you could hear Keeley awaken. The bleach blonde shambles out into the main living area. She almost falls over but one of the walls catches her before she does. She wasn't wearing anything except for a white terry cloth bathrobe. The robe is undone & from a hotel. You could see many of her surgery scars & stretch marks. In her hand was a almost empty bottle of champagne.

She stumbles into the kitchen, almost falling over again as Ham-Boy & Lynne watch her. Aly looked at her older sister for a moment or two before returning to her music. Travis & Mr. Montgomery doesn't seem to notice.

"Keeley Marie!" Lynne said a bit shocked.

Keeley took a drink from the bottle & then looked over at her mother. One could tell she wasn't completely awake at that moment.

"What?" She said.

"We have company!" Lynne said as she pointed out Ham-Boy. He waved hello.

Keeley looked over at him not recognizing him & then said "So?"

"Do you want to go back to making those crappy made for cable movies?"

Keeley takes another drink from the bottle & then says "maybe. Why?"

"Without his help, you'll be back there or worse!"

"Like what?"

"Informercials!"

This seemed to wake her up. Keeley looked around, saw where she was & what she was wearing. She blushed a bit, closed up her robe & put down the bottle on the counter. She then walked over & sat down at the table.

"Sorry about that."

"It's ok. I know what it's like."

Keeley rolls eyes. "Mom! I don't need another of your stupid stories from the '70's."

In the week he been there, Ham-Boy has learned that before Mrs. Montgomery got married & has kids she was an aspiring singer/dancer/actress. She gave that to raise her 4 children. Keeley's twin sister Katy was away at College.

"I know. I know. Just saying I've been there."

Keeley rolls here eyes once more.

"How are this morning, my lil' Hammykins?" Keeley said lovingly to Ham-Boy.

Ham-Boy almost choked on a mouthful of Cheerios. He was still getting use to the situation he was in. He coughed a few times before replying. He thinks that I heard Aly laughing at him a bit.

"I'm ok, Keeley."

"Remember what Jerry said?"

Ham-boy resisted the urge to roll his eyes & said "I'm ok, Kiki."

Jerry said that to prove that they were dating to the Media they needed to call each other by nicknames. He was told that her nickname was Kiki & she liked adding the phrase "kins" to the end of words.

"That's better, Hammykins!"

He went back to his cereal as she pulled a pack of cigarettes from her robe. She put the pack on the table after she pulled on a cigarette. Lynne pulled one out herself then picked out her only lighter to light both cigarettes.

Ham-Boy tried to stifle his cough as he breathed in the smoke. This was not what he thought Hollywood or California would be like. After his first day there he had started to regret his choice of agreeing to be Keeley's media boyfriend. He much rather be back home doing pretty much anything else.

Then, the doorbell rang. There was a pause before it rang once more.

"Aly." Lynne said, no response from her daughter.

The doorbell went off again & she said her daughter's name again.

It rang again. Lynne was getting a bit more angrier. "ALY!"

She took out her earbuds & turned her head to face her mom as the doorbell rung once more. "What?"

"Answer the door."

"Why? Travis is closer."

"Why? I asked you to do it so get off your butt & do it."

Aly angrily got up & answered the door.

"Who is it?" Lynne asked.

"Who else would it be?" Aly called back.

Jerry White & his intern entered the condo.

"Good Morning everyone!" He said. He didn't get much response. Jerry then took a sip from his travel mug of coffee.

Aly angrily sat back down on the couch as Jerry made his way over to Ham-Boy & Keeley. He was followed shortly by his intern.

"How are my favorite people?"

Ham-Boy smiled a bit & that was the most response he got from the table.

"We've got a big day ahead of us!" Jerry said as he held up his free hand like he was expecting something to be placed in it.

When it wasn't he turned to the Intern. "Well?"

This caused the Intern to neverously to search through their message bag for something. Once they had found the item, they handed it to Jerry. It was an notebook filled with Keeley & now Ham-Boy's schedule.

"So… Here is how the day is going to go." Jerry said with a smile.

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TO BE CONTINUED!

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FOOTNOTES:

- In the very first "Ham-Tastic Adventure" it was established what Ham-Boy's favorite cereal.

- This is the first appearances of most of the Montgomery family. Keeley's parents where first mentioned in Ham-Boy #15. This is also the first reference to Keeley being a Twin which makes Jerry comment of Keeley being 1 of 3 children in Ham-Boy #15 false.