Adventures in Parodyverse: Underworld Part 2


    Chiaki Bushido pulled up to a stoplight as she headed uptown in her Porsche.  She wasn’t in any particular hurry - she awaited instructions after she sent a text message to a supposed employer, accepting an offer to assassinate Visionary and Hatman.

    Not that she intended to do any such thing.  She meant to take the contract as a symbolic gesture.  If she took it, no other assassin would dare steal it from her.  And after she surely failed, of course, the employer wouldn’t dare try to harm her, either.  It was a terrible mistake of them to even ask.

    She started to think about why someone threatened to kill Akiko, and the answer started to come to her.  With the Lair Legion under threat of its own, and most of the underworld scrambling to either kill them or run from those who are trying, nobody would notice one more threat.

    Her Porsche stopped at a traffic light, and a Cadillac with tinted windows pulled up on her right side.  Something told her she should look at it - and as she did, the driver window rolled down.  Over the years she learned to trust her own psychic sense - she knew there was no danger, only something interesting.

    There was a man in the driver’s seat.  He was holding a leather case of some sort.  Chiaki opened her window too, and the man tossed the package into her lap.  Then the Cadillac took off suddenly, turning right.

    With one hand, Chiaki unzipped the case.  Inside was a single white printed postcard.  It simply said to destroy the cell phone, and that she had twelve hours to complete the job.

    But Chiaki had other ideas.  She needed to know who was threatening to kill Akiko and the Lair Legion.  She revved the engine of her Porsche and dropped the clutch, burning the rear tires through the red light, dangerously missing oncoming traffic as she made a skidding turn to the right.

    Chiaki’s psychic sense worked unusually well sometimes; she never questioned it, she merely accepted it as a gift.  She had a feeling she needed to bring an unusually powerful and nimble car with her that day, and she selected her overpowered brand-new Porsche Cayman to visit Akiko.  Until now, she didn’t know how handy it would become.

    She also didn’t know why she decided to take that particular route home from Mangatown, when the highway would have been much faster.  It would not have mattered in terms of the man in the Cadillac; he simply would have followed her until she stopped.

    However, on city streets, the Paradopolis Police would more readily notice a bright red Porsche chasing down a black Cadillac.  She flew past a police car as she was going nearly seventy miles per hour.  That was fast enough for the police to call for backup and a helicopter, as their cars weren’t really powerful enough to catch up.

    And her psychic sense had even more depth still, as the driver of the Cadillac pulled a submachine gun from the seat next to him, and fired indiscriminately at the Porsche and police both.  He missed Chiaki entirely, as she had swerved to the right at the perfect moment.

    As if that wasn’t enough, making it seem as if the events of the entire day aligned to that moment - Chiaki’s perfectly timed swerve caused the driver to turn completely around to see where she went, which made him miss a sudden turn in the road.  His Cadillac slammed into a concrete barricade with an explosive bang.

    Chiaki mashed the brakes and stopped just to the right of his car.  She got out, and had just enough time to briefly search the Cadillac through the smashed left side window as the driver groaned and struggled for consciousness.  She took his cell phone to look for clues, squirreling it away in the waistband of her jeans, and then she turned around to face the approaching police cars with her hands raised in the air.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He’s hurt bad,”  she told the police once they were close enough to recognize her and realize she wasn’t a threat - her sword was still in her car.  She did, after all, work with the Lair Legion sometimes, and many of the police force recognized her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why were you chasing him?”  one officer asked her.

    She turned around just as one of his comrades pulled the submachine gun from the Cadillac.  “Why do you think?”  she replied.

    There were no more questions after that.  Chiaki was sent home, and no one realized she even had the cell phone.  She checked it once she was back in her own car and away from the crash scene.  The two phones side by side, she used her own to check directory assistance against the recently called numbers in the stolen phone.

    One of them turned up something very interesting.  Chiaki had to pay someone a visit.

    Before she started driving again, her own phone rang.  She looked at the display - it was Akiko.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hai,”  she answered with, assuming Akiko wanted something urgent.  The Pink Gangster usually preferred in-person visits.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The word is out that you already put someone in the hospital.”  Akiko said plainly.  “I approve.”

    Chiaki frowned as the call disconnected.  She didn’t like Akiko’s thirst for violence and mayhem all that much, though she never told her friend too often.  She worried that it sounded insulting.

    She was just about to start driving again when she heard those first few words from Akiko again in her head - ‘The word is out’.  She looked up just in time to see a twin to the last Cadillac rounding the corner and heading toward her quickly.

    Psychic or not, it was easy to be paranoid at that point.  She thought of the best way to outrun them - since they were already moving toward her at a decent speed, it would be hard for her to make up the distance.  So instead, she drove straight at the other car, and right past it.  That way, she would have the advantage of inertia, and they would have to stop and turn around.

    Chiaki breathed a sigh of relief as she passed the car and got a look at the driver.  It was an older man chatting on a cell phone, only peripherally aware of her as she drove by quickly.  It was time to get back to her original plan.


---


    It was usually Yuki Shiro who would visit Frankie of the Zoot Suit Gang at his Gothametropolis club.  That didn’t mean simply his favorite club - he actually owned it, and his quite successful loan sharking and covert gambling businesses were centered there.  The police never managed to bust either one, because half of them played there in their spare time.

    The reason why Yuki would be the one to visit was because Frankie was unpredictable, as were the members of his gang, and some of his customers as well.  Yuki was physically strong enough to take them all on at once, and had the attitude to match.

    Chiaki’s reputation was fortunately as strong in GMY as it was in Paradopolis.  She entered the club carrying a sword strapped to her back - the bouncer watched her, but didn’t move from his spot.  Some of the patrons stared as well while she walked past a stage where an exotic dancer gyrated.

    She pushed her way through the door behind the stage, into the VIP area.  There was another bouncer, and he reached out to stop her before seeing the sword.  Then he recoiled and stepped back, raising both hands in surrender.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Ah, the Psychic Samurai.”  Frankie recognized her.  There were other members of his gang present in pinstriped suits.  She guessed that they were probably armed, and prepared to shoot her down if she made any aggressive movements.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nice of ya to stop by,”  Frankie commented.  “What can I do you for?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Someone has threatened the life of Masamune Akiko,”  Chiaki said, referring to her by a more formal name than usual.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I heard about that,”  Frankie noted.  “Vendredi told me about it.  Also heard you’re supposed to put Visionary and Hatman six feet under to save your boss’ bacon.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“She is not my boss anymore,”  Chiaki corrected.  Then she quickly focused on the point again.  “I know you have a lot of coverage out there, a very large group of loyal and reliable men in your employ.  One of them may have heard something.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Information aint free, babe.”  Frankie commented as he puffed a newly lit cigar.

    Chiaki nodded.  “What is my former boss’ life worth to you and your business?  I have no intention of killing Visionary or Hatman, which means I have to find the people who hired me before they reach her.  If I fail, they will likely come after you next.  Whether I succeed or fail at what they hired me for, they win.  The only way they lose is if I find them.”

    Frankie took another puff from his cigar.  Then he turned and looked at the two men behind him.  “Get her a car and a driver,”  he said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I have a car.”  Chiaki said.

    He looked at her sideways.  “They’ve seen you in it out there though, haven’t they?  Trust me, this car’s special.  They won’t come near it, they won’t see you.”


---


    Chiaki didn’t really understand what Frankie meant until she exited through the back door of the club.  It was an old limousine from the 1920’s fixed up like new, and shined up.  But there was a practical reason for that.

    As Chiaki climbed in, she realized that the doors were very heavy.  The windows were thick and bulletproof.  The car had been retrofitted with air conditioning because it was fairly difficult to roll down the windows - they only went down a few inches.  The entire car was a nearly impregnable tank.

    The windows were also heavily tinted so it was dim inside, the majority of light coming from the interior spotlights.

    Chiaki put her sword next to her and leaned over to speak to the pinstripe suited driver.  “What’s your name?”

    He seemed a little taken aback at the question, but he eventually answered.  “Louis.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m Chiaki.”  She bowed to him slightly, and watched as he extended his hand.  She had long since learned Western customs, so she gently shook his hand.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Where are we headed?”  she asked.

    He shrugged.  “You’ll know soon as I do,”  he said, pointing to a black ancient looking phone in the car.  “Boss will call and tell me.”

    Chiaki sighed and leaned back against the seat, trying to relax.  She watched as Louis messed with the radio until he found a local big-band station.  She felt a little amused about that.

    He then looked at her, and turned the music down until it was barely above a whisper.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t mind the music, Louis,”  Chiaki told him.  “It’s kind of refreshing, actually.”

    He smiled and nodded slowly, and then turned the radio back up a bit.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thank you for doing this, by the way,”  she said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No problem.  It’s my job.”  he said.

    Chiaki smiled, and she knew he could see her in the rear view mirror.  “Thank you anyway.”


TO BE CONTINUED


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2010 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin