Adventures in Parodyverse - Special Election, Part 5


    The telephone in Hatman’s room buzzed noisily.  He sat up and looked to his left at his bedside table.  As he turned and reached for it with his right hand, he wiped the grogginess from his face with his left.  He had exciting and warm memories of a dream, but he couldn’t really remember it clearly.

    It was at that point he wondered why the phone buzzed like that.  Usually Hallie set the private quarters phones to privacy mode unless there was an emergency, or a mistake.  He hoped it was the latter.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Mayor Zimmermann is here.”  Hallie announced over the phone.  “To discuss the Lair Legion.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So early?”  Jay mumbled.  He looked at the clock and sat bolt upright.  It wasn’t early at all - it was nearly 10 A.M., close to three hours past his usual wakeup time.  “How did I sleep so late?”  he asked nobody in particular.

    There was no answer from Hallie over the phone except silence, so he hung up and resolved to get out of bed.  He figured he must have been tired after the incident at the Safe, and after waiting around the hospital for so many hours.

    He swung his right hand around again, and it landed on something that felt like...a hip?  Jay turned and met the sight of unkept purple hair, and two purple eyes looking at him, over a delicate shoulder, with a mixture of worry and surprise.

    Yuki sat up and looked at him.  A second later she realized the thin tee-shirt she wore didn’t cover much...and she quickly gathered the sheets around her torso.  She wondered how she got there.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Um...what am I doing here...?”  she began sheepishly.

    After a pause, during Jay searched his memory to an answer to that very question, he finally said, “I...don’t know.”

    Yuki shook her head as if to clear it, and went straight to business, like there was nothing really strange about the circumstances.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I kind of half heard your phone call.”  she said.  “Mayor Zimmermann?  Since when does Hallie call him that anyway?”

    She noted Jay’s depressed and embarrassed look, and quickly switched from the detectives’ logic she was accustomed to, to something more reassuring.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Look,”  she said, moving toward him sympathetically.  “If this was more than just...falling asleep together...we’re pretty good friends.  We can deal with it.”

    Jay frowned, and tried to concentrate on the most important problem at hand first.  Marv was waiting.  “We’ll have to discuss this later.”  he said.  “I have to get dressed and see what Marv wants.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’ll go too, in case he’s up to something.”  Yuki said.  And then she quickly added, “Um...once I change too, that is.”

    As she climbed out of the bed, Jay couldn’t help but look back.  She was wearing only that cut off tee-shirt and underwear.  It was kind of attractive.

    After having a couple of minutes to think about it, Jay finally asked, “What if it was?”  He wasn’t referring to talk about the meeting.

    Yuki took a deep breath and looked determined and serious like Jay was used to seeing her in an emergency.  It was a little reassuring to him to see her like that.  The girl who always had a plan.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Then we suck it up.”  she resolved.  “We suck it up, and...maybe even let it bring us closer.  After all, if this is some kind of setup, it’s an attempt to put distance between us.  There’s no better way to destroy the Legion.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re right.”  Jay whispered.  He didn’t sound entirely convinced.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s either that or we start dating.”  Yuki flashed him a smile with that suggestion.

    Jay sighed.  “Let’s just...think about the meeting right now.”


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, girl.”  Danny Lyle greeted a familiar Chinese girl as he shuffled into the kitchen.  She was eating cereal out of a bowl and staring out the window, so he quietly sat next to her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hi.”  Liu Xi greeted him briefly without looking at him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You look hot as usual.”  he tried, to get her attention.
    
    She finally turned and raised an eyebrow in his direction.  “Do you really want Kerry to set fire to me?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I used to compliment you like that every morning when we were stuck--”  He stopped suddenly, sure that he was about to remind her of something painful.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yeah.”  Liu Xi replied absent-mindedly.  She then brought up the subject that was really foremost in her mind.  “Why did I sleep in my room at the Lair Mansion?  I have my own place.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I dunno.”  Danny shrugged and served himself some of the same cereal Liu Xi was eating.

    She sat upright suddenly when she realized what was missing.  “Where is Vinnie?  Lara?  Chiaki?  Anna?  I haven’t seen any of them since last night.”

    Then she looked at Danny and asked, “Why are you here?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I...was kicked out of the Lighthouse late at night by Kerry.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh.”  That explained his presence at least.  “We should go find the rest, though.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.  Let’s.”  Danny smiled.  He still secretly enjoyed spending time with her.


---


    Lara Night awoke, finding herself in what looked like her room at the Lair Mansion...except with two small differences.  The window was missing, and the door looked like it was metal and had no knob.  She got up quickly and pushed and pulled the door before realizing that she was imprisoned.

    Whoever did that seriously underestimated her, she thought.

    Until she read a note attached to the door.  It said that the Psychic Samurai and Vincent De Soth were in similar rooms elsewhere, and if any of them went missing, all would be killed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, that’s great.”  she whispered.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know.”  Con Johnstantine complained from his seated spot in a dark corner of the room, as he blew smoke in Lara’s direction.  “Hatman gets all the warm nookie and I get locked in a cold cell with sleeping beauty.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What?”  Lara asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nothing.”  Con sighed and rose to his feet.

    She jumped back when the door opened behind her suddenly.  Or less opened, and more ripped off of its mount, which is why she jumped at the noise.

    Lara turned around and saw two bright blue eyes staring back at her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Lucky you.”  Anna said with a smile as she tossed the door aside.  “The Spin is convinced that I’m totally harmless.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What about Chiaki and Vinnie?”  Lara asked.  “Won’t they be...?”

    Chiaki Bushido walked through the doorway as Lara was talking.  “Apparently Anna is very good at assessing risk.”  she said.  And then more alarmingly, “Let’s go quickly.  I believe Jay and Yuki are in trouble.”


---


    The group of five caught up with each other on the way.  The Psychic Samurai had been imprisoned because she was aware of exactly what the Spin and Marvellous Marv were up to - and she had to be kept out of the way.  Vinnie was imprisoned with her because he was unpredictable.

    Lara was tossed in a separate cell with the note because Marv knew she could escape, and he wanted to use intimidation to prevent it.  Con originally was left free, until he proved to be so obnoxious that he was placed in Lara’s cell later on.

    Anna bided her time and her freedom following around the Spin to learn what was going on and gather intelligence.  She pretended to be a very harmless and helpful robot to accomplish that.  She knew about the imprisonments.

    The android also presented the most interesting information.  She knew that Marv modified people’s subconscious, and the Spin modified conscious behavior.  Combined, that meant people could be given a history to remember as their own, and then that could be used to guide their future behavior.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Also, somehow Hallie has been compromised.”  she said.  “I believe it has to do with Beth Zemo’s presence in the Mansion.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Can you restore her?”  Chiaki asked.  “Because you’re the only one who could.  None of us are exactly pro-level hackers.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I believe I can.”  Anna replied.  She wasn’t entirely sure of that, but she didn’t want to disappoint Chiaki.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Good.”  Chiaki said.  “The rest of us will overwhelm Marvellous Marv.  We must concentrate, or he and the Spin will confuse us.”

    Lara nodded.  “I’m ready for anything.”


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Except maybe that.”  Lara commented as she approached Hatman’s office.

    The door was partially open, and the entire floor had been converted into an ice skating rink.  Light fog drifted through the doorway.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It has to be Liu Xi.”  Chiaki whispered.

    And just as Chiaki guessed, just inside the room were Liu Xi Xian and Danny Lyle.  

    Danny was unconscious against a wall with a nosebleed, stirring slightly as if he were trying to struggle his way back.

    Whatever caused that seemed to motivate Liu Xi to anger.  She was the reason all of the floor except for an area around her feet was covered in ice.  Marvellous Marv was hanging on to the desk so he wouldn’t fall.  The Spin was lying on his back, groaning.

    Baroness Von Zemo was standing atop the desk, arms crossed.  There was a block of stone on the floor nearby that looked like it was formerly a weapon of some kind.  “Honestly,”  she said, “If you two can’t handle a little ice--”

    The Psychic Samurai slid across the ice rapidly without warning, and violently sliced the center of Hatman’s desk in two, causing Beth Zemo to fall through.  Chiaki stopped herself by grabbing the desk chair and using its weight to slow her down.

    Marv was angry now.  He willed darkness upon the minds of everyone in the room...

    ...except that darkness was interrupted by a most unexpected ray of light.  Literal light, green to be exact.  CrazySugarFreakBoy! bounded into the office, and then feet first off of Marv’s chest.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I thought all you needed was a little interruption to break your concentration.”  CSFB! announced.

    There was a bright flash, and CSFB! fell to the floor, stunned.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You thought wrong.”  Beth Zemo said severely.  She turned the weapon on the Psychic Samurai, who sliced the barrel clean off with her sword.  Beth cooly produced a second one and blasted her anyway.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I have to get to Operations.”  Beth went calmly on as if nothing happened.  “That pest android is going to undo all my hard work.”

    She then stepped over the unconscious bodies in the room and carefully navigated the ice as she directed at Marv, “I trust you can wrap up this time without your usual incompetence?”

    Marv snarled ever so quietly, remembering that he needed the Baroness’ ruthlessness for now.  “This one is really the only problem.”  He looked down at the blonde Lara Night lying on the floor.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You and your superstitions.  Very well.”  Beth motioned for her assistant, waiting out in the hall, to enter.  “Franz, take the blonde with us.”  she ordered.  “Let’s get moving.”

    The musclebound Franz easily hefted Lara over his shoulder and followed his employer into the hallway.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Let’s hope this is over with quickly.  These contact lenses keeping Marv’s thoughts out of my head are killing me.”



TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2009 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin