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CrazySugarFreakBoy!
will try to get an actual Parodyverse story up soon

Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,235
Subj: Retro-Crush: Tracey Conway
Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 at 03:15:06 pm EDT (Viewed 457 times)


This one will probably make no sense to anyone outside of the Seattle area, but here goes:

Stayed up to watch Saturday Night Live tonight, which was a mistake, since only the VP debate sketch was any good, but out of inertia, I would up staying up even later, and watching a couple of episodes of Almost Live!

Almost Live! was awesome, and even though nobody outside of the Puget Sound region has ever heard of it, you can thank it for giving you Bill Nye, the Science Guy, and Joel McHale, host of The Soup on E!, both of whom were cast members. It was pretty much the Western Washington state equivalent of Saturday Night Live, and even though it's only on in reruns now, I'll still watch it if I happen to be up when it's on.

Among my other reasons for loving the show is Tracey Conway, one of my proto-MILF crushes as a young guy.



I always loved her smiling mouth and her bright blue eyes, both of which were huge and richly expressive, and as a performer, she alternated deftly between Dorky Mom and Crazy Nympho with a comic skill that left my pants feeling much tighter after seeing one of her skits.

In particular, her recurring character was "The Worst Girlfriend in the World," and in spite of all the fucked-up things that her character did to her string of luckless boyfriends, I STILL wanted to fuck her so badly that it made my balls ache:

"The Worst Girlfriend in the World" on YouTube

In the years since the show ended, Tracey has become a professional public speaker, with many of her speaking appearances centering around the near-fatal heart attack she suffered on the set of the show, during the taping of an episode in 1995. Fortunately for her, a cop happened to be in the audience who was able to give her CPR until paramedics arrived.

She's only 52 years old now, which makes her a spring chicken compared to some of my other crushes, and I don't think about her that often, but whenever I stay up late enough to catch one of those old Almost Live! episodes, I still look back on her work fondly.

I would have loved to have had you as my "worst girlfriend," Tracey. ;\)




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