"Dogged"


“Effective immediately, I am leaving the Lair Legion,” Glory announced.

The news came as a shock to the assembled Legionnaires.

“What’s wrong, Glory? Lisa’s cat didn’t scratch you again, did he?” Visionary worried.

“It’s about Mr. Epitome,” Hatman guessed, “Glory, I know we haven’t had any luck finding him, but we’re not giving up.”

“Neither am I. However, there are several investigations that must take precedent for the team over searching for Dominic. The Shee-Yar genocide being the most pressing.”

“We’re looking into that,” CrazySugarFreakBoy! assured the Border collie, “We’ll figure out the identity of the creeps responsible, just like we’ll find Epitome.”

“I believe the chances for resolving the crises improve if people are allowed to devote all of their efforts to one or the other.”

The Capped Crusader wanted to argue, but Glory was making a valid point, “I understand. And, I accept your resignation.”

“Well I don’t,” Visionary said, “The Legion is a family. We’re not something a person can just quit, and we work together to solve whatever problem comes up.”

Glory dipped her head down, “I would like to point out, sir, that when Naari had been abducted to the Mythlands by Camelia of the Fey during the Parody War you set about rescuing her without support of the active team.”

“That was completely different,” the headmaster of the Juniors’ program objected.

“How so?”

“Because, ah…..”

CSFB! spoke up, “Why don’t we do this: Glory can take a leave of absence. That way she can go off without feeling she’s deserting us, and then come back once she’s completed her Epitome Quest.”

“Sounds good to me,” Hatman offered Glory his hand. She responded by lifting her paw so he could shake it, “Glory, it has been a pleasure and an honor working with you. Good luck in all your endeavors.”

***

Glory dropped the paper bag she held in her mouth into the hands of Kat Allen, “These are for you. I would like you to move in to the house while I am away.”

The trim young blonde looked distraught, “Glory I don’t know if I can.”

“You would be doing us a favor if you would. Plus, there are many practical reasons for you to move. You would no longer need to pay rent on your apartment. You would not have to pay for parking your car in the city. It is a safer environment, as the dwarves constructed safeguards in the home in case of attack.”

“I’m sure from a practical standpoint, you’re right,” Kat conceded, “But emotionally, it would be hard. Dom and you got that house for all of us. It will be difficult to live there alone.”

The Dog Dynamo understood, but she did not relent, “We should not change our plans because of the whims of the Parodyverse. That is what Dominic would say. Besides, you will not be alone there long.”

“Do you have a lead?” Katarina asked hopefully as she considered whether or not to accept the keys.

“I have a plan.”


*****


The Plan

Glory crashed through the storefront of Holly’s Hobbies and charged the man working the register. Her powerful jaws clamped down on his collar. When she began to violently shake the cashier it not only disoriented him but forced him to adopt his true form: the large, grey, blockheaded Sigmund the Superlative Simulacrum.

The android managed to regain his footing and counterattack: hammering the super-powered Border collie to the floor. When Sig swung his leg back to kick the dog Glory pounced and drove herself into his midsection. The two hit the wall behind them and spilled into the next room, where the primary business of the model train store was done.

“Oh, crap!” Link scrambled away from the two combatants, “The Lair Legion’ found us!”

A figure in black and gray stepped through the hole Glory and Sig had made and raised her bow, “You wish.”

The teleporter screamed as Artemis’s shot punctured her shoulder, blood spattering across her green lame’ bodysuit.

Sigmund wrenched Glory off his ankle and tossed her aside. With his thick fingers he began twisting the knobs on his chest to spell out the name of a villain capable of easily taking apart the attackers. But before the metamorph could cross the “t” in “Yurt” Artemis nocked another arrow, this one with a highly specialized payload, and let it fly. The arrow found its mark, and Sigmund froze.

“You can thank the Idiom’s Transmorgification Neutralizer for that. It’s what I just shot you with,” the Urban Archer told Sig, “It’s also what’s going to override your autonomy software and allow us to control your every action. You guys are in big trouble.”

Glory sped away to another part of the store. When she returned, she was dragging a man in soot-stained coveralls behind her.

“What do you want?” Search Engineer protested, “You can’t arrest us: we’ve done nothing wrong in this reality.

With a flick of her neck the Dog Dynamo heaved the Engineer into a scale model replica of the Gothametropolis Rail Yard circa 1870. Then she loped over to Artemis, who was setting up a portable translator unit so the criminals could understand her when she made her threat.

“We know you are still hiring yourselves out as Villain Support. And we have documented proof.”

“Did you really think Tornado Allie was a real client? That meeting was all a set up,” Artemis snickered, “And Link, stop crying. It’s only a flesh wound.”

“Go to hell, you bitch! You had no reason come at us hard like that!”

Glory disagreed, “The three of you were accomplices to one of the greatest threats the Parodyverse has seen.”

“Don’t blame us. It wasn’t our fault the Moderator’s character arc got hijacked by the ghost of the Hooded Hood and he turned into a mass murdering sociopath,” Search Engineer complained.

“That has to be the weakest excuse since Nuremburg,” Artemis removed a first aid kit from one of her belt pouches and tossed it to Link. Given the woman’s ability to teleport a person anywhere they had never been by touch, Charlotte thought it best to let her tend to her own wounds, “You guys can breathe easy, though: we don’t plan on charging you with any war crimes.”

Search Engineer glanced over to his incapacitated teammates. Link was in hysterics and Sig seemingly comatose. It would be up to him to ask the pertinent question, “Why not?”

“You are going to use your powers to find Mr. Epitome,” Glory said, “So we can bring him home.”


The End