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super-compressed storytelling or just laziness: you be the judge!

killer shrike promises to check on everyone else's posts and stories tomorrow


Posted with Google Chrome 14.0.835.202 on Windows Vista

Epitome Comics #4 “Trouble at the Waterfront”




Three vans pulled up to the dockside warehouse. The waiting guard pressed a button and its door rumbled open. Silently they drove inside, their headlights shining on a recently moved cargo “can”. Several men exited the vehicles and made their way towards it.

“Hm, my dog smelled something rotten down at the docks, but she never told me it was bad fish,” Mr. Epitome smirked from his station atop a stack of nearby crates.

Antonio “Tony Porpoise” Porpossi spun to face the costumed vigilante, “Aw, no!”

“Up there! He’s up there! Shoot!”

The Exemplary Man waited as the hoods emptied their rounds into him. Meanwhile, an American bulldog leapt from outside and crashed onto one of the vans. She growled.

Glory, the Dog Dynamo, had arrived.

She sprang at the assembled mafiosi and attacked. Like a white and brindle bulldozer she smashed through them, sounds of terror filling the air.

Mr. Epitome shifted his focus to the container. His pale blue eyes squinted, seemingly staring through its metal exterior. Leaping down, he crossed the battlefield, casually flipping aside two of the vans that blocked his path. Grabbing the front of the “can” he ripped the door up and off as easily as one would tear free a Post-It-Note.

Moans and cries could be heard from the dozens of women who had been trapped inside. The conditions of their cramped living space was severe enough to test the stamina of even the Man of Might.

“Human trafficking,” Epitome turned and glared at Tony Porpoise. His eyes shimmered with a nimbus of light. The smuggler felt his hand growing very warm, and then stared in shock as the gun he carried melted to slag.

In a blur Mr. Epitome was upon him. He grabbed the halo brace that supported Porpossi’s hydrocephalic head and jerked it violently.

“Aigh!” the lord and master of Parodiopolis’s dockyards squealed.

Without taking his eyes off Porpoise, Epitome whistled for Glory’s attention. A flick of his gloved finger toward a nearby Port-A-John was enough to convey his message. The dog sped over to the structure and twisted the door open.

Mr. Epitome threw his captive into the water closet. He would repeat the process with the rest of the gang until they were all stuffed inside. He slammed the door shut and spoke to Glory again, “Chains.”

She ran to the edge of the of the wharf and snipped off a length of the heavy links with her jaws. After dragging them over to her master she made several circuits around the Port-A-John until it was securely bound.

“Good girl,” Dominic complimented before kicking overfilled outhouse into the water. He watched it bob and sink to the bottom. After what he felt was a sufficient amount of time he grabbed the end of the chain and dragged Porpossi and his men out of the water. It was just a taste of what the gangsters’ captives had been through, but it would have to be enough.

The women began to nervously poke their heads out of the cargo container they were imprisoned in for what must have been weeks. They were speaking a Slavic language Epitome could not translate.

“Glory, go home and bring back the black satchel I put under the bed,” he whispered to the bulldog after a quick skritch behind her ears.

Mr. Epitome watched her go, and then turned back towards the women. Hopefully one of them understood enough English for him to explain what was going to happen next, and that while they probably weren’t going to be staying in America, at least they would not be leaving empty handed.



Next: “A Boy and his Dog and the Girl Next Door”









Visionary 

Moderator

Member Since: Sat Jan 03, 2004
Posts: 2,131

Posted with Mozilla Firefox 7.0.1 on Windows 7

She's a bit different than I remember... and doesn't seem to be able to speak to Mr. E. But she still seems like a sweet pup, even when chomping off lengths of chain.

A fun snippet!




Manga Shoggoth


Member Since: Fri Jan 02, 2004
Posts: 391

Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows 7


    Quote:
    Epitome Comics #4 “Trouble at the Waterfront”



    Quote:
    Three vans pulled up to the dockside warehouse. The waiting guard pressed a button and its door rumbled open. Silently they drove inside, their headlights shining on a recently moved cargo “can”. Several men exited the vehicles and made their way towards it.



    Quote:
    “Hm, my dog smelled something rotten down at the docks, but she never told me it was bad fish,” Mr. Epitome smirked from his station atop a stack of nearby crates.



    Quote:
    Antonio “Tony Porpoise” Porpossi spun to face the costumed vigilante, “Aw, no!”



    Quote:
    “Up there! He’s up there! Shoot!”



    Quote:
    The Exemplary Man waited as the hoods emptied their rounds into him. Meanwhile, an American bulldog leapt from outside and crashed onto one of the vans. She growled.



    Quote:
    Glory, the Dog Dynamo, had arrived.



    Quote:
    She sprang at the assembled mafiosi and attacked. Like a white and brindle bulldozer she smashed through them, sounds of terror filling the air.



    Quote:
    Mr. Epitome shifted his focus to the container. His pale blue eyes squinted, seemingly staring through its metal exterior. Leaping down, he crossed the battlefield, casually flipping aside two of the vans that blocked his path. Grabbing the front of the “can” he ripped the door up and off as easily as one would tear free a Post-It-Note.



    Quote:
    Moans and cries could be heard from the dozens of women who had been trapped inside. The conditions of their cramped living space was severe enough to test the stamina of even the Man of Might.



    Quote:
    “Human trafficking,” Epitome turned and glared at Tony Porpoise. His eyes shimmered with a nimbus of light. The smuggler felt his hand growing very warm, and then stared in shock as the gun he carried melted to slag.



    Quote:
    In a blur Mr. Epitome was upon him. He grabbed the halo brace that supported Porpossi’s hydrocephalic head and jerked it violently.



    Quote:
    “Aigh!” the lord and master of Parodiopolis’s dockyards squealed.



    Quote:
    Without taking his eyes off Porpoise, Epitome whistled for Glory’s attention. A flick of his gloved finger toward a nearby Port-A-John was enough to convey his message. The dog sped over to the structure and twisted the door open.



    Quote:
    Mr. Epitome threw his captive into the water closet. He would repeat the process with the rest of the gang until they were all stuffed inside. He slammed the door shut and spoke to Glory again, “Chains.”



    Quote:
    She ran to the edge of the of the wharf and snipped off a length of the heavy links with her jaws. After dragging them over to her master she made several circuits around the Port-A-John until it was securely bound.



    Quote:
    “Good girl,” Dominic complimented before kicking overfilled outhouse into the water. He watched it bob and sink to the bottom. After what he felt was a sufficient amount of time he grabbed the end of the chain and dragged Porpossi and his men out of the water. It was just a taste of what the gangsters’ captives had been through, but it would have to be enough.



    Quote:
    The women began to nervously poke their heads out of the cargo container they were imprisoned in for what must have been weeks. They were speaking a Slavic language Epitome could not translate.



    Quote:
    “Glory, go home and bring back the black satchel I put under the bed,” he whispered to the bulldog after a quick skritch behind her ears.



    Quote:
    Mr. Epitome watched her go, and then turned back towards the women. Hopefully one of them understood enough English for him to explain what was going to happen next, and that while they probably weren’t going to be staying in America, at least they would not be leaving empty handed.



    Quote:
    Next: “A Boy and his Dog and the Girl Next Door”



    Quote:









As is always the case with my writing, please feel free to comment. I welcome both positive and negative criticism of my work, although I cannot promise to enjoy the negative.

Anime Jason 

Owner

Location: Here
Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004
Posts: 2,834


anime.mangacool.net (10.0.255.1)
using Apple Safari 5.1.1 on MacOS X (0 points)


I believe this version of Epitome is more violent, but less cruel. By that, I mean he's violent almost carelessly, rather than to punish someone.






L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038

Posted with Apple Safari 5.1.1 on MacOS X

I sort of wish the stories were longer but I'll take what I can get. \:\)




killer shrike



Posted with Google Chrome 14.0.835.202 on Windows Vista





killer shrike



Posted with Google Chrome 14.0.835.202 on Windows Vista


    Quote:

    I believe this version of Epitome is more violent, but less cruel. By that, I mean he's violent almost carelessly, rather than to punish someone.



While the Nu Mr. Epitome is violent, unlike the original there seems to be a line he's unwilling to cross. More on that later.






killer shrike



Posted with Google Chrome 14.0.835.202 on Windows Vista





killer shrike



Posted with Google Chrome 14.0.835.202 on Windows Vista


    Quote:
    She's a bit different than I remember... and doesn't seem to be able to speak to Mr. E. But she still seems like a sweet pup, even when chomping off lengths of chain.


I'm basing Nu Glory on my brother in law's dog, so there will be some differences between her and Old Glory, whose inspiration is much older, wiser, and sweeter.






Al B. Harper



Posted with Mozilla Firefox 7.0.1 on Windows XP

Glory!

I kind of like regular-dog Glory. Miss Glory 1.0 of course, but still.

And anyone with an hydrocephalic head needed that to happen to them. Just saying.

Al B.




Yo



Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.0 on Windows 7

she is adorable \:\-\)




killer shrike



Posted with Google Chrome 15.0.874.106 on Windows Vista

Glad you enjoyed the story, and even more happy to hear from you. I hope all is well in your life, and that you had an enjoyable holiday.




killer shrike is glad you liked the story



Posted with Google Chrome 15.0.874.106 on Windows Vista


    Quote:
    Glory!



    Quote:
    I kind of like regular-dog Glory. Miss Glory 1.0 of course, but still.





    Quote:
    And anyone with an hydrocephalic head needed that to happen to them. Just saying.



    Quote:
    Al B.







Yo



Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.0 on Windows 7

till Pilar decided to go for a bath...the water was freezing and the sea even a bit dangerous ...I was enjoying it so much... but I guess the cold Pilar got means her spirit is younger than her body now...
Yo told her to be careful..but did she listen to me??




killer shrike has been fighting a cold since September



Posted with Google Chrome 15.0.874.106 on Windows Vista





Yo



Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.0 on Windows 7

we are going to have to rename the board if we get like that..the old and cranky Legioners retell their old battles \(beret\)




CrazySugarFreakBoy!


Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,235

Posted with Google Chrome 16.0.912.59 on Windows Vista








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