Adventures in Parodyverse: The Trial of Liu Xi Xian, Part 5


    Lara Night sat curled up in a chair, reading a book in Hatman’s quarters in the Lair Mansion.  The owner of those quarters was in the shower, getting ready before the two of them journeyed to court for the continuation of Liu Xi Xian’s trial.

    The door to his bathroom was partially open.  There was this mysterious ninja who came after him every time he was alone.  Though he wanted to be brave about it, Yuki Shiro and Lara both convinced him to play it safe, and never to be locked in a room by himself.

    So Lara was assigned to watch him night and day.  When one of them used the shower, they left the door unlocked and partially open.  While they trusted each other, though - a trust grown from having to share a body for a couple of days once - they were also growing a little weary of having to be watched all the time.

    There was a knock on the door, and Lara jumped at the sound which interrupted the relaxing noise of the shower running.  She quietly put her book down, walked to the door, and opened it a sliver.

    On the other side was Anna.  The android looked very serious.  “Hallie has been running heat signature scans since the ninja was first spotted.  She’s keeping count of everyone in the mansion.  About fifteen seconds ago she detected a new heat signature.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“In the room?”  Lara looked behind her quickly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, in the mansion,”  Anna reassured her.  “I’m going hunting for him.  Keep the door closed.”

    Lara nodded.  “Be careful,”  she said.  “Have Hallie get me if you’re in trouble.”

    Anna nodded, and then she ran off.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s going on?”  Jay asked from the bathroom, still with the shower running.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anna’s hunting for the ninja.”  Lara replied loudly.

    There was a loud crunch, and the door ripped open, pushing Lara to the floor.  A small sphere was tossed in, which immediately began immersing the room in smoke.

    Lara remembered where the bathroom door was, and she used her energy harnessing ability to pull it shut violently, sealing Jay in.

    Jay Boaz turned off the shower and began to dress quickly, reaching for his hat-tility belt as he did.  There was a loud hum outside, and the light in the bathroom flickered and went out.  Sparks tumbling under the door let him know that Lara was definitely in the fight.

    Anna charged into the room, and she carried a samurai sword borrowed from the Psychic Samurai.  She only had a few lessons, but compared to humans she was an extraordinarily fast learner.  She attacked the ninja, which she could see clearly with full infrared night vision.

    There was another crash as she forced him over the back of the chair Lara was reading in earlier.  She learned from Chiaki; she adopted the Japanese woman’s aggressive, relentless style.  So she took advantage of his loss of balance, and hit him again and again, even though he blocked the attacks and held on to his sword.  

    She ignored the second smoke bomb, and the flash-bang had very little effect on her vision.  The android would not tire, and her strength would not wane...but his would, eventually.  She hit him again and again.  He would either have to retreat, or die.

    And retreat was exactly what he attempted.  He ran right into Hatman, who was wearing a very special bandana.  He used it once before...it was given to him by Chiaki.  The ninja was now outnumbered, and outclassed, by pseudo-trained-samurai.  He threw another smoke bomb, and moved toward the window.

    He felt himself being tripped, and then dragged back into the room by an unseen force.  It was that blonde woman he knocked down, after he drew her lightning away with his sword.

    She stepped on his sword, and angrily and forcefully pressed her palm against the back of his neck.  He cried quietly through clenched teeth when she delivered a painful shock directly to his spine.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Who hired you?”  she asked.  The other two pointed swords at his head, daring him to move.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I work for myself,”  he groaned.  “There is a reward.  A very large reward.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Who offered the reward?”  Hatman asked as he tried to pry the sword away from the man and handcuff him.

    That question was met with silence.  The ninja released his sword, and it slipped from his hands.  Just as he did, the room filled with smoke, and he was gone.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anna?”  Hatman asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“That wasn’t smoke, it was magic,”  she said.  “It looks like the sword is what kept him from returning to where he came from.”

    Lara picked the sword up off of the ground and looked at it.  “It doesn’t have any unusual energy on it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Let’s give it to Vinnie just in case,”  Hatman said, as he removed the headband.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“At least he won’t be trying to kill you anymore.”  Anna noted.  “It has your name on it, Jay.  The sword is your death warrant, and we have it now.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What do you mean?”  he asked.  “Why would someone put my name on a sword?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s like take this sword, and bring it back with the blood of the man who’s name it bears.”  Lara explained.  She shrugged when the two others stared at her.  “I saw it in a movie once.  It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We should give the sword to Chiaki instead,”  Anna suggested.  “She will be able to find out who made it.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“After the trial,”  Jay insisted.  “I have to find out what will happen to Liu Xi first.”


---


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Miss Liu Xi Xian, please approach the bench.”  Judge Anna Marie Lewis urged the Chinese girl as the trial reconvened.  Her announcement brought a sudden surprised silence over the courtroom.

    Liu Xi stood, swallowed hard, and walked to the bench shakily.  She looked up - the wooden bench towered above her like a mountain.  Her attorney, Arnold J. Armbruster, stood beside her.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Before we begin, I’m going to ask that all press and spectators leave the courtroom immediately, and all video recording devices be turned off, except for the official court reporting.”

    There was a few minutes of shuffling as the bailiff herded everyone outside, and then a loud clunk as the doors were shut.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You have signed and presented a statement that you were sold by your family in China, and brought to this country to be re-sold to a man as his wife.  And that the man who bid on you used false pretenses to sexually assault you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.”  Liu Xi replied.  She was shaking a little, nervous because so many people were watching.  The attorneys were still there, as was the jury.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know you’re not a native English speaker, so I’m going to ask you this to make certain...you understand all of the language of this statement?”

    Liu Xi looked at Arnie.  “He explained it excessively,”  she said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Very well.”  The judge looked at the prosecutor.  “I’m going to recommend you drop all charges and relegate this case to self defense.  Otherwise I’m going to have to declare a mistrial.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I understand, your honor,”  the prosecutor said.  “My office is therefore prepared to drop all charges.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Then case is dismissed.”  The judge looked at Liu Xi.  “You’re free to go.  Also the jury is dismissed, and Mr. Prosecutor, you are fined one hundred dollars for contempt for arriving late.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What?”  the prosecutor protested.  He pointed at Arnie.  “But I had to...he--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I said dismissed”, the judge insisted, banging the gavel on the bench to prove her point.  “Bailiffs, one of you please inform those outside the courtroom, and I need another to escort Miss Xian and her attorney through the back hall if she wishes to avoid the press.  She deserves her privacy.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Thank you, your honor.”  Arnie said.
    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Don’t thank me,”  the judge added.  “I’m also fining you one hundred dollars for contempt.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What for?”  Arnie asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Because I can.”  the judge replied.  “Now get out of my courtroom!”

    He didn’t wait to protest any more.  He took Liu Xi’s hand and quickly followed the bailiff out to the parking lot behind the courthouse.

    Chiaki Bushido was there, leaning against her red Ferrari.  She opened the passenger door for the Chinese girl.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How did you know...?”  Liu Xi started to ask as she climbed into the car.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why do you always ask that question?”  Chiaki poked fun at her, and smiled as she shut the passenger door.

    Then the Samurai entered the driver’s seat and looked at Liu Xi.  “Where to?”

    Liu Xi laughed.  “You know I’m coming out through the back door and when, but you ask me that?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You could always change your mind,”  Chiaki replied.  “But I’m glad you didn’t.”


Story written and copyrighted (C) 2011 by Jason Froikin, and may not be reprinted without permission.  Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow.  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin.  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

Entertaining action (and a lot of smoke bombs!) in this chapter. I'm curious to find out who put the engraved-sword hit out on Hatty.

I'm also assuming he put pants on before going straight for his Hatility Belt. One, a belt with no pants is a serious fashion faux pas, and two I just don't need the mental image.

I hope you're not the only one.





A belt that heavy wouldn't stay on without pants to hold it in place.