Adventures in Parodyverse: Elemental, Part 2


    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What’s going on?”  Lara Night asked.

    Liu Xi Xian came racing into the room saying, “Sorry, sorry.”  She sat down quickly.  Her polite smile disappeared, and she gave an annoyed look at Faite, who beat her there.

    Anna quickly answered Lara’s question.  “CrazySugarFreakBoy! had some emergency with his own superhero family - he’s on the reservation, wherever that is.  Donar was called home to Ausgard.  Goldeneyed vanished, like he often does, as did Citizen Z.  Ham-Boy had some business in Goth Haven, Silicon Sally is in court, again, and Alcheman had some socialite related problem.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Where’s Hatman, Yuki, and Visionary?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yuki had a malfunction with her cybernetic body, she’s in a clean room with Al B Harper at Phantomhawk memorial.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Really?”  Liu Xi asked.  “Is there anything we can do to help?”

    Anna shook her head.  “As I said, she’s in a clean room, nobody is allowed in.  She called and said it might be a while, and she asked me to lead this meeting and take care of the Lair Legion.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What about Visionary?  Isn’t he supposed to lead?”  Vinnie asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He’s...”  Anna looked a little embarrassed to answer that part.  “He went on a diplomatic mission to a new planet and accidentally insulted their minister of information by asking if she was pregnant.  He’s in prison there, Sir Mumphrey has gone to negotiate his release.  Hallie’s looking after the kids.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And Hatman?”  Lara asked.

    Anna wrinkled her nose at having to deliver more distasteful news.  “He wanted to get away for a while after...well, honestly, after he got killed.  So he joined the Manga Shoggoth to help refugees in Lemuria.  We don’t know when he’ll be back.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Or if.”  Liu Xi added.

    Everyone looked at the Chinese girl at once.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What?”  she asked.  “It’s a tropical paradise, there are Caphan girls everywhere.  Why would he want to come back from there?”

    Lara sat down near the head of the table finally, across from Faite.  She asked Anna, “Are you going to be okay, looking after things?”

    The android nodded.  “Yes.  Yes, Yuki said she has complete faith in me.  I can do this.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’ll help you out, if you need it.”  Vinnie offered.  “We don’t want you to handle this alone.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Where’s Chiaki?”  Lara asked.  “Doesn’t she usually help us out with this stuff?”

    Faite replied, “Chiaki is at her office.  She said Anna needs to do this and she doesn’t want to interfere.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Chiaki has full confidence in me as well.”  Anna repeated.  “So where do we go from here, guys?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We could always call in the Juniors, if we need more people.”  Vinnie suggested.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, they’re still just kids.”  Anna pointed out.  “They’re good, but if something bad happened to them Visionary would kill us all.  Or at least give us a stern talking to.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We’re still the Lair Legion.”  Liu Xi pointed out.  “As different as we are.  There are going to be bad people exploiting the fact that the others are out of commission.  I say we show them the Lair Legion is as strong as ever, and they can’t get away with anything.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I like that idea.”  Anna agreed.  “But--”  She turned around to look at the projection on the wall behind her.  “--there really isn’t much going on.”

    Faite scoffed.  “Someone always says that just before something really big happens.”  She looked up at the projection.  “Like a distress call from the Safe.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Again?”  Liu Xi asked, noting the red area lit up on the projection.

    Anna looked behind her and nodded.  “We should be able to contain that quickly.  Let’s go for it.”


---


    Liu Xi and Vinnie looked down through the nose cone windows of a helicopter at the Safe below.  Anna was flying it - and it was her idea.  Instead of arriving in an overly dramatic and theatrical fashion in a Lairjet, nobody below would notice yet another helicopter among all the police ones circling around.

    Anna landed the craft softly atop the Safe’s helipad, and then she turned to face her two passengers.  “Do you two need me, or should I wait here?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We might need you,”  Liu Xi suggested.  “I can make sure nobody escaping can steal the helicopter.”

    Once the three were outside on the roof, Anna paused to admire Liu Xi’s elemental handiwork.  The lightweight metal landing rails under the helicopter had been replaced with very heavy blocks of concrete.

    It wasn’t long before they needed Anna, as Liu Xi said.  Just as they tried to gain entry to the building from the roof, they realized that it had a door the thickness and weight of a bank vault, with an electronic card reader and keypad next to it.  Liu Xi could have destroyed the door, but then it would leave an exit for escapees.  Anna, however, was able to ‘chat’ with the electronic controls so the door opened.

    There were several more security doors like that before they reached the actual prison facility - they did their best to isolate the prisoners as much as possible from the outside.  The interior of the prison was nearly dark, there didn’t seem to be any power to the florescent light fixtures above.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Something weird is going on.”  Anna commented.  “The escape alarm is on, silent mode, and there are no lights.  I don’t hear voices.  No guards, no prisoners, nothing.  We have to consider that means the guards are currently prisoners.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Or dead.”  Vinnie contributed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Or mind controlled.”  Liu Xi added.

    Anna looked at Liu Xi.  “That’s an interesting theory.  Either way, we have to be careful.  There may be hostages, or we may simply be walking into a trap.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“A trap.  That’s not a bad idea,”  a mechanical voice announced.

    The lights suddenly came on.  Before them, towering over them in height and heft, was Master Machine, along with Fitness Machine.

    Anna whispered to Liu Xi and Vinnie, “The guards are dead.”

    Liu Xi said nothing.  She balled her hands into fists, and quickly surrounded herself, Vinnie, and Anna with a protective wall of fire.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Where there’s two of the Machine Shop, there are others.”  Anna whispered.  “The prisoners are going to be hostages.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What are you saying?”  Vinnie asked, as he started to go through plastic packets from his pocket.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I think we have to surrender,”  Anna replied.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We can’t!”  Liu Xi protested.  “If we do, they’ll kill you!”

    Vinnie took her hand gently.  “You forgot, Anna split up the group from the meeting for a reason.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh yeah.”

    Just as Liu Xi replied to Vinnie, the building shook violently.  Speed Machine just barely made it before the violent lurch to warn Master Machine.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“There’s more of them!”  Speed Machine sputtered quickly.  “We were getting hammered by this electric chick, she killed Death Machine and Mean Machine’s batteries.  I barely escaped!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I hate elementals.”  Master Machine grumbled.  Then he told Fitness Machine, “Kill these three and then we’ll take on the rest.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I didn’t want to damage the prison, but...whatever.”  The concrete floor lifted violently, crushing Fitness Machine against the ceiling.

    Vinnie tossed a just-opened packet at Master Machine.  It caused him to rust instantly, so he was unable to move.

    Speed Machine tried to make a getaway, but Anna launched herself after him, slamming him hard against the solid concrete wall, fracturing it.

    Suddenly, everything froze.  A large, deceptively ancient looking, lumbering robot with wheels for transport rolled past all the carnage, shaking its head.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“No, no, this won’t do.”  he said.

    The lights suddenly came on.  Before them, towering over them in height and heft, was Master Machine, along with Fitness Machine.

    Anna whispered to Liu Xi and Vinnie, “The guards are dead.”    

    She frowned, realizing that she said that before, and everything was way too familiar.

    Liu Xi said nothing.  She balled her hands into fists, and quickly surrounded herself, Vinnie, and Anna with a protective wall of fire.
        
    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wait, something isn’t right,”  Anna protested.  She looked straight at the wheeled, lumbering robot she knew wasn’t there before.  If her computer brain was good at one thing, it was noticing patterns, like this that had suddenly changed.

    Anna whispered, “Time Machine.”  She guessed at the unknown robots name because of the intense sense of deja vu she had.  “Liu Xi, get us out, now!”

    The wall behind them exploded violently, and Lara Night stepped through the hole wearing her black-and-white form fitting superhero costume.  “Did you know they have a time machine?”

    The lights suddenly came on.  Before them, towering over them in height and heft, was Master Machine, along with Fitness Machine.

    Anna whispered to Liu Xi and Vinnie, “The guards are dead.”    

    Liu Xi surrounded herself, Vinnie, and Anna with a protective wall of fire, hotter than the last two as now she was losing her temper.  

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know what the trap is.”  the elementalist said.  “They have a Time Machine.  They will never let us leave.”
    

TO BE CONTINUED?


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2011 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

I'm not entirely sure why Anna would lead a meeting of the Lair Legion, considering that she's not even in the Legion. Her and Lara helping out makes sense, but Liu Xi and Vinnie are the only Legionnaires there. I think having those two call on the others for help with the safe would have worked a bit better as a set-up.

I quite enjoyed the actual mission itself, and the addition of Time Machine into the fight. The Safe just became very Punxsutawney-ish... I look forward to seeing how they break the cycle and escape.

The reason was very simple: Yuki asked Anna to fill in. It's assumed that with Hat, Visionary, Sir Mumphrey, and CSFB! all busy elsewhere, normally it would have been Yuki's job to head up a meeting. But when she had problems, she asked Anna. Being as loyal as she is, Anna wouldn't dream of failing at such a seemingly simple task.

Not that Vinnie or Liu Xi aren't allowed to host meetings, but neither one of them are the type who wants to.





It is looking more like Herringcarp than the Safe at the moment.

This looks like trouble.  But on the other hand, it's an all-too-rare opportunity for someone to say those five special words: "Recursive occlusion!  Someone's manipulating Castrovalva!"
 
This may be slim comfort for our heroes.