Adventures in Parodyverse: Universal Joint, Part 2


    Kiivan and Shen Rae found themselves facing the pirate governor of a strange space station base in the middle of nowhere.  They had just knocked the station’s ‘welcome party’ unconscious when the governor arrived by elevator, along with an impressive array of bodyguards and weapons.

    The Caphan leader took just two steps toward the governor, and he bowed, clasping his hands together in an exaggerated formal manner.  “I am Kiivan of Caph.  I have come here offering friendship and trade.”

    The governor looked around at the two unconscious Frammistation toad guards.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I apologize for the misunderstanding, but your guard reacted to my arrival with more aggressiveness than I’m used to,”  Kiivan said.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Trade, you say?”  the governor focused in on immediately.  It wasn’t often he was able to trade with formal planetary governments.

    That was fortunate, because while Shen Rae waited quietly, she was tensing for a fight.  It wasn’t until the governor said those words that she relaxed.

    Kiivan nodded.  “I admit trading with free traders has never been tried before by my people, but it could prove to be--”

    The governor raised his hand to stop Kiivan from talking.  He was looking directly at Shen Rae.  “What really interests me is this fugitive from the Alliance you have with you.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I could say the same about you,”  Shen Rae shot back.

    He stared at Shen Rae for a moment, looking his most serious, but then he broke out with a boisterous laugh.  “I like you, Shen Rae.”

    And then his smile disappeared as he added, “It’s too bad the reward for your capture is so high.”

    The six disciples of Thugos serving as his guards were not only carrying hand weapons, they also wore energy gauntlets, which they powered up at that point.

    Kiivan reached for his dagger - but Shen Rae strong-armed him behind her, knowing that dagger would do no good at all.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hold your breath,”  she warned him as she quickly tapped something on her bracelet.  He knew it was used as both a communications unit and a weapon.

    It was almost like he could sense she had some grand escape plan in mind, so he complied with her request.  And he wasn’t disappointed.

    The bodyguards attacked, and Shen Rae raised her arm.  The first four to charge bounced off a shield projected from her bracelet.  Then there was a horrible metallic rending sound, and the hallway they stood in fractured in half.

    Air started to rush out into space, carrying the governor, his bodyguards, Kiivan, and Shen Rae outside.  Kiivan kept holding his breath, as he could see the relaxed look in Shen Rae’s eyes - it was all going according to plan.

    He and Shen Rae drifted into the open cargo bay of the Heart of Light.  Red and yellow lights started flashing, signaling an emergency lockdown and re-pressurization.  His ears popped as air pressure was restored, and then he exhaled and gasped for breath.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We have to move,”  Shen Rae said quickly as she rushed to a console to repurpose it for flying the ship.  “They’re going to send their entire fleet after us.”

    That fleet she mentioned didn’t even wait for Shen Rae to finish that sentence.  The Heart of Light shuddered, and then a flash of light filled the viewscreen, and it pitched violently and slammed into the pirate station.  Debris started floating around the ship in all directions.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are we going to be okay?”  Kiivan asked as he watched the engines come online.  “That felt a bit like--”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes.”  Shen Rae interrupted.  “Atomic weapons.  Figures that pirates would use illegal weapons.  We’ll be okay, this ship has an energy shield.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What if they’re trying to crash us against the station?”  Kiivan thought.  “It’s what I would do.”

    Shen Rae frowned.  Kiivan’s thoughts were a pretty good possibility.  The engines were online - so she hopped into the pilot’s chair and headed away from the station at full speed.

    It turned out that the gun turrets on the station were not guns at all, they were missile launchers.  They began rapidly firing at the Heart of Light - and the payload those rockets carried were not conventional or legal.

    She watched Kiivan take a seat at the weapons console.  He sure learned quickly...but what was he doing?

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Kiivan?”  Shen Rae asked.

    He had a ruthless, angry look in his eyes as he glanced at her for a moment.  “This is very important, Shen Rae.  Can they follow us to Caph?”

    She noticed that he was studying the kinds of weapons she had aboard.  He intended to destroy the pirate station and its fleet.  “I don’t think--”  she started to reply, and she also started to worry.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I need you to be sure,”  he said.  “If they bring even one of those weapons to Caph...”

    Shen Rae sighed deeply.  She finally had to admit that she couldn’t be sure.  She could outrun them, definitely, but they only travelled a short distance from Caph - it was possible that there were very intelligent detectives among the pirates who could deduce where she went.  Or simply annihilate every world nearby.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Wait.”  Shen Rae tried to convince him.  She raced over to his console, and tried to block his way.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sometimes tough decisions have to be made--”  Kiivan started to say.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I know!”  she replied.  “Let me, I’m already a fugitive.  If anyone will face a tribunal for this, I’d rather it not be the leader of all Caph.”

    Kiivan nodded.  “You would choose weapons that would cause the least casualties.”

    Shen Rae agreed with his assessment.  Her ship was equipped with what were called dynamo torpedos, they spun violently after launched and created an increasingly powerful magnetic field.  When they impacted with their target, they’d cause mostly smashing damage from their velocity - but they’d also cause massive power outages.  Generally they were used to bring down shields of enemy ships, but they would work just fine in this regard as well.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Excellent choice.”  Kiivan said.  He grabbed Shen Rae’s hand, and folded it within his, and pushed it down on the pulsating fire button.

    Then he glanced at her, and said, “Now neither of us is to blame.”

    As Shen Rae selected, a volley of a dozen or so small oval shaped projectiles launched from the Heart of Light, spinning more and more rapidly as they approached their targets.  The field generated by them was strong enough that it began disabling just-launched fleet ships even before they reached the station.  Then they crashed into the gigantic space station, punching holes and leaving it without lights or weaponry.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Let’s get far away before they figure out how to fix anything,”  Shen Rae said, as she swallowed hard and returned to her console.  She never really had a stomach for war.  Self-protection, maybe, but that last act didn’t sit well with her.

    The engines powered up, causing the bridge and her seat to vibrate ever so slightly as the sudden rush of acceleration overwhelmed the counterbalance mechanism.  The space station vanished into a speck in seconds, and they were on their way back to Caph.

    While it was hard to tell exactly how fast they were going out in open space, it was obvious to Kiivan when they began to approach the Caphan star at frightening speed.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Um...Shen Rae...?”  he asked.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s okay, the counterbalance helps slow the ship down,”  she explained.

    Just as she said, the Heart of Light began to slow rapidly, coasted past the star, and then neatly plunged into the atmosphere of Caph.

    Along the way, the ship coasted quickly over the village that contained her home.  There were animals walking around, but no people, and it looked a lot more...derelict than usual.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What the...?”  Shen Rae asked.  She re-set and replayed the last ten seconds of video feed from the display - sure enough, the village looked like it was destroyed.  Along with the animals, a small contingent of palace guards were there investigating.

    Without question, and without comment from Kiivan, Shen Rae turned around the Heart of Light and landed in the center of the village.  The palace guards stared as Shen Rae, and then Kiivan exited the ship via a ramp.  Then they switched to a deep bow, forehead to the ground.

    One of them finally spoke up,  “Great Emir, there’s been an attack.”


TO BE CONTINUED


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2010 by Jason Froikin, and may not be 
--    reprinted without permission.  
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
--  Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
--  Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

Really though, this approach has a lot of appeal during the Christmas shopping season...

Looking forward to seeing where this goes next!

It's going somewhere.