WGMY 104.1
two weeks to go


...huge tailbacks on the Nine Mile Road between Seventh and Parkway. On the GMY Metro, severe disruption on the Green Line after what police describe simply as a “chupacabra-related incident”. Don't forget the waterfront is still experiencing localised gravitational distortions after Monday's attack by event-horizon battlecrabs, so avoid that area if you can. Stacey.

STACEY: Thanks, Dan. That's Dan with the travel. It's eight-seventeen and you're listening to WGMY, serving Gothametropolis York and the greater Parodopolis Sound area.

RADIO STATION IDENT: Woo, woo, Stacey Sturridge in the morning, WGMY, woooh!

STACEY: Well folks, it's that time again. The fourth season of hit show Pagan Idol is almost upon us. Another twelve wannabes will be slugging it out, over a series of challenges and viewer votes, to scoop the biggest prize on television; an official place in one of the world's major polytheistic pantheons. With me is last year's winner, Steve, Egyptian god of the all-day breakfast.

STEVE: Good morning.

STACEY: Steve, thanks for joining us. I should start by asking how you've enjoyed your first year as an Egyptian god.

STEVE: It's been a blast. Meeting fascinating people. Isis, Anubis, Hathor, they've all made me feel very welcome. Great people to work with. And the travelling. It's been great. Really great.

STACEY: Travelling mostly to Egypt, I'd imagine?

STEVE: Sometimes, sure, but we've actually got believers all over the mortal world. There's a lot right here in the city since the series was broadcast. I never know where I'm going to be invoked next!

STACEY: So it's broadened your horizons. How else would you say the experience has changed you?

STEVE: Um... well, there's the head.

STACEY: The head.

STEVE: Yeah. The head took a bit of getting used to. But, you know, Anubis has the head of a jackal. Sobek has a crocodile head, so I guess I can't complain.

STACEY: As part of the prize you were given the head of... what, some kind of antelope?

STEVE: Yeah, it's a scimitar-horned oryx. Almost extinct, I'm told, and the pantheon wanted to publicise its conservation efforts. I'm actually pretty happy with it. Bad hair days are a thing of the past, and I don't bother shaving. Nobody really looks beyond the four-foot long curving horns.

STACEY: They're rather special, aren't they? Kind of dominate the room. But Steve, I know it hasn't all been plain sailing.

STEVE: Low doorways can be a pain. And light fittings. Chandeliers are a frickin' nightmare.

STACEY: I've been reading an interview you gave the End Times-Examiner. You hinted that godhood had put a lot of strain on your relationship.

STEVE: In the beginning, yeah. I mean, there was, uh -

STACEY: The head.

STEVE: Yeah... but mostly it was the being invoked, you know? Made it difficult to settle down to quality time together, not knowing when or where I might have to manifest. I mean, as god of the all-day breakfast I knew what I was getting myself into, but my girlfriend found it hard to adjust. I was like “woah, babe, what part of all-day didn't you understand?” And even when I could arrange a night off for a quiet meal out, there was bother from me getting recognised. Which happened a lot, what with -

STACEY: The head.

STEVE: Yeah. And I don't want you to think we're competitive or anything, but meeting people at parties it was tough for her to say, like, hi, I'm Katie, I work part-time at Domino's, this is Steve and he's an Egyptian god. But we've worked through it, and I think come out stronger.

STACEY: Good to hear. So you'd say the positives have outweighed the negatives.

STEVE: Sure. Accepting sacrifices is fun. Temples full of handmaidens in diaphanous shifts, that never gets old. And when I'm called upon to bless someone's breakfast, it really feels like I'm making a contribution. Basically I see my role as Champion of Breakfasts.

STACEY: I mentioned that season four of Pagan Idol is starting soon. We've always followed the series closely here on the show. It seems this year that they're leaving it very late before announcing the next host pantheon. What's the inside line?

STEVE: I don't know any more than you do. There have been rumours, of course, like the Assyrians.

STACEY: The Assyrian pantheon have long been keen to get involved. Do I sense that you're not convinced?

STEVE: No disrespect to the Assyrians - I'm on good terms with my Assyrian opposite number, hilarious guy, beard made of burning snakes - but I'm not sure their pantheon is quite at the level we expect from Pagan Idol. Whoever it is, it's sure to be a special show.

STACEY: So it's wait and see. Before we move on, any words of advice for this year's contestants?

STEVE: Give it everything you've got. Don't lose faith in yourself. Enjoy the experience. And make sure you eat a hearty breakfast, whatever time you start your day.

STACEY: Thanks, Steve. And if you're unsatisfied with the performance of your own breakfast, Steve will be with us and taking calls until nine o'clock. Right now, Dan has the weather.

DAN: It's a cold wind this morning, temperatures dipping below fifty degrees, with a seventy percent chance of...

FADE TO STATIC

and when I first say this posted I sort of thought it was a spam message.

Lots of fun in this one... what with the head and all.

Hope to hear/read more!