Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Thread

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L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038

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In the foothills of Mount Hood, just a few minutes drive outside of Portland, Oregon & on the outskirts of the small artist colony of Kloshee Ilahee there is parked by the side of the road an unmarked Ambulance. Traipsing through the woods was the a small group of people. All for except one were dressed up in costumes.

"Why are we always sent to places called Kloshee Ilahee? First it was Alaska & now here." said one of the group dressed in a costume vaguely reminiscent of a goat.

"Well, James. I didn't really have a choice this time. This is where they sent us." said the man at the head of the group & the only one not dressed in a costume.

"But this sucks." said the goat themed young man.

"Well, James." The man at the head of the group said as he stopped & turned around to face the group. "This is where the agency sent us & since we are the low team on the organization chart we get the 'sucky' missions." The man used air quotes when he said sucky.

This is where we find the group of young would be Superheroes formally known as C-Class. It's been a rough couple of years since they broke away from the FMRC (Federal Meta-Human Resource Center).

"Why are we even here?" James whined.

The sole female member of the group let out a audible sound of disgust. She was dressed in a dark blue puffy coat, under that was white shirt with her logo on it. She also had a mini skirt on with a utility belt around her waist & a pair of brown lace up combat boots.

"What?"

"I knew you weren't listening to the debriefing."

"I was. I just forgot." James said a bit defensively.

She shot him an evil look. Then look at the man before her & asked. "Mr. Summers, may I fill him?"

"Sure, Betty."

"Thank you." She said with a pretty smug nod of her head.

She turn to James & said. "As you have now forgotten we are here substantiate various recent reports made to the Agency about suspected Vampire activity in the area."

"Did these reports say what type of vampires they were? Since looking at us we not going to be kill anything." James said as he looked over his teammates. "We are most likely going to be killed by it then going to kill it."

"Exactly" Mr. Summers said.

"What?" said the youngest member of the team. He was obviously over dressed for the weather. He was dressed like he was going skiing but it was August & 75 degrees.

"That's right. That is why we are not here to kill any vampires. We are just here to confirm that they exist."

"which sucks." James said. "I want to do some slaying."

Betty rolled her eyes. James saw it.

"What?"

"What are you going to slay it with?" She asked.

James looked around & then picked up a stick & said "With this!"

"Sure. But what are you going to when they slap it out of your hand? Plus, your stick isn't even anointed with any holy water or blessed by a clergyman. It would never work."

As the two of them continue to bicker at each other. The rest of the group stand by. Lance, as he always is, has his headphones listening to something & probably can't even hear what they fight is about. Oswald watched with a scared look on his face. Mr. Summers looks on with a bemused look on his face. This leaves the last member of the group: Ben. He not sure what to make of it. Sure, Betty & James have always fought. They did it the first they meet & they've done it almost everyday since. The fighting went down a bit when they dated but Ben thinks that might of just been a way to cope with with the constant attacks from Holcomb & A-Class. But given that the former is in jail & the later are dead the fighting was done to return. It did when James forgot Betty's birthday again, which wasn't all that different: he always did. They almost left the group shortly after they broke up but Mr. Summers got them to not, Ben is still not sure how he did that.

"Betty. James." Mr. Summers said.

The verbal fight stopped & they look over at their mentor.

"We are on a Mission & this is not the time to fight about this. Wait until we are done here & you can do this when we are back at the hotel."

"The Teepees?" Oswald asked.

"Yes."

James glares at Betty & then asks "Why are we out here now? It's like 4 in the afternoon, don't vampire like burst into flame in the sunlight?"

"Some do & some don't." Betty said.

"Yes. Plus, a number of the reports say that the attacks happened during the day." Mr. Summers said.

"But Oregon? Why? It just seems wrong." James said, looked at bit confused.

"No, it doesn't." Betty replied which earned her another glare from James.

"It's Twilight, isn't it?" Ben said.

This shocked a few people since Ben hadn't said much since they all got up this Morning.

"Yes, Ben. That is what the Agency thinks. A number of the reports seem to follow what is stated in those books & movie." Mr. Summers said. "The location, vampires out in the daylight, the general look of the vampires, the looks of the victims, etc."

"So, we're here to figure out if there are actual Vampires out here or just some overzealous fans of a book series?" James asked.

"Yes. If we confirm this fact we are to report it so they can send out their own team of people to deal with the situation." Mr. Summers said somewhat sadly.

"You mean kill them, Mr. Summers?" Oswald wondered.

"Yes."

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TO BE CONTINUED


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You knew there was going to be Footnotes, didn't you?


- This story picks up where the story might of been if I hadn't stopped writing the "Semi-Transparent Lad" series a few years back. It also picks up on a few bits from the few FMRC stories I've done in between then & now. The Agency the group now works for is unnamed since I'm not sure what to call it. Also the team is unnamed since the moniker "C-Class" is owned by the FMRC.

- This location's general area had been seen before. Ham-Boy spent some time at Artist Colony years ago. I used the name "Kloshee Ilahee" & then later on for the small Alaskan town C-Class hide out in a for a time. I didn't think anyone remembered I had used the name before, Ian had & some James comment of the name is a reference to this.

- Who are these People? Also, some background info.

The Group consists of: Billy Goat (James Milton) who has the proportional power of various types of Goats. The Human Zamboni (Oswald Vanderhoosy) who can freeze water & make it smooth. Psi-Lance (Lance Jones) who can mentally cancel out sound in small areas. Semi-Transparent Lad (Ben Hermes) who can turn almost completely Invisible. Teen Avenger (Betty Marsh) does have any special powers. She uses various gadgets, her smarts & fighting skills. They are lead by Gordon Matthew Summers, a super powered man with a past.

Ruben Holcomb was the former acting head of the FMRC while the founder & head Herbert Garrick was away. A-Class, the top group of young upcoming Super Heroes at the FMRC, are dead. But what isn't widely known was that they were only the latest set of Clones based off the DNA of various Lair Legion Members, both past & present.

It was stated in a past story that Garrick put into motion plans for a new set but this was all before the new presidency was put into place. Garrick knew this would possibly hinder his plans for the organization. If Garrick's plans were hindered, if a new A-Class was made, why Garrick let Holcomb go to Jail & a number of things have yet to be seen.




J. Jonah Jerkson



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Anime Jason 

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Al B. Harper



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L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
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Posts: 1,038

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L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038

Posted with Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X

As for the whole "lone survivor" thing. If we go with the horror movie angle: It'll mostly be Oswald since pretty much everyone else has had sex at some point. \:\)




L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038

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The reason they haven't been as you said "out and about" is that I've either not had any ideas for them or not really sure where to take the "series". Sure, I've tied this story into the overall arcing stroyline of the group but I feel I don't really have any worry about furthering the story beyond this.

As for your comment "just hope some of 'em make it through" I don't know why everyone thinks people are going to die. Thoughts like that never crossed my mind as I wrote this. I wasn't going to Horror Film, not sure what I was going for but it wasn't Horror.




Visionary



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CrazySugarFreakBoy!


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HH says good start



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L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038

Posted with Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X






L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038

Posted with Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X






L!


Location: Seattle, Washington
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,038

Posted with Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X







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