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The Hooded Hood |
Subject: Tom Black #11: Last Man Standing Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 09:22:36 am EDT (Viewed 19 times) | |
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killer shrike |
Subject: The Badripooran commoners stole the story here [Re: The Hooded Hood] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 10:42:17 am EDT (Viewed 2 times) | |
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Though I guess you really can't call ghouls ,space pirate monkeys, and Shee-Yar refugees "common." But the scenes with the civilians commenting on the catastrophe at hand and the discussion at the intergalactic post office were my favorites. And for a necrophiliac cannibal Crucius is all right. I expect to see Tom giving his word so as to spare Badripoor from the Canifex, in exchange for some kind of power sharing arrangement with spiffy Of course, it seems like he's already got a leg up on getting said power, since his kaos energies have infected all the technology on the island. Looking forward to the next part, and to see how the Boss Deadeyes subplot plays a part in this. | ||
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HH |
Subject: They did turn out rather well. They really deserve their own story. [Re: killer shrike] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 11:19:37 am EDT (Viewed 2 times) | |
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Quote: Though I guess you really can't call ghouls ,space pirate monkeys, and Shee-Yar refugees "common." But the scenes with the civilians commenting on the catastrophe at hand and the discussion at the intergalactic post office were my favorites. And for a necrophiliac cannibal Crucius is all right.I've been trying to work out what actor I based him on but it won't come into my forebrain. Quote: I expect to see Tom giving his word so as to spare Badripoor from the Canifex, in exchange for some kind of power sharing arrangement with spiffy Of course, it seems like he's already got a leg up on getting said power, since his kaos energies have infected all the technology on the island.The Carnifex isn't really big on listening to people - but hopefully our final episode should make sense of whay he's listening to Tom. Quote: Looking forward to the next part, and to see how the Boss Deadeyes subplot plays a part in this.He's really waiting to take centre stage in the next story arc. Or it might be better to continue over in Deadeyes #5. | ||
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killer shrike |
Subject: Splendid. Proceed. [Re: HH] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 12:37:19 pm EDT (Viewed 2 times) | |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows Vista
Quote: Quote: I expect to see Tom giving his word so as to spare Badripoor from the Canifex, in exchange for some kind of power sharing arrangement with spiffy Of course, it seems like he's already got a leg up on getting said power, since his kaos energies have infected all the technology on the island.Quote: The Carnifex isn't really big on listening to people - but hopefully our final episode should make sense of whay he's listening to Tom.Didn't Tom do him a favor by taking out Ku Ku Kachu? I assumed this was the payback. | ||
Anime Jason   Owner Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834 |
Subject: That just raises more questions! [Re: The Hooded Hood] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 01:15:44 pm EDT (Viewed 602 times) | |
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anime.mangacool.net (10.0.255.1) using Apple Safari 4.0 on MacOS X (0 points) I wasn't aware Tom Black could take control of anything that's not dead or electronic. Does that mean the Carnifex is either dead or an android? If it's the latter, I suppose he and Anna have a lot to discuss. Or, I guess Tom or the Kaos Energy itself could be the Carnifex' "boss" all along. I guess this is the point where the Lair Legion finally fights the Carnifex. Hopefully this will be one "big bad" fight where Liu Xi helps for a change instead of getting captured.  | ||
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HH |
Subject: Much (if not all) will be answered next issue - but the clues are all there now. [Re: Anime Jason] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 02:49:50 pm EDT (Viewed 5 times) | |
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Quote: I wasn't aware Tom Black could take control of anything that's not dead or electronic. Does that mean the Carnifex is either dead or an android? If it's the latter, I suppose he and Anna have a lot to discuss. He can't control the dead, but his kaos orbs can "possess" magic spells. hence magics used to raise and command zombies might fall under his domain, for example. Quote: Or, I guess Tom or the Kaos Energy itself could be the Carnifex' "boss" all along.You're assuming that Tom is commanding the Carnifex. He isn't. Quote: I guess this is the point where the Lair Legion finally fights the Carnifex. Hopefully this will be one "big bad" fight where Liu Xi helps for a change instead of getting captured. When the LL finally fights the Carnifex it won't be in the last chapter of a Tom Black story. It'll be front and centre in a big bad Untold Tales with plenty of high stakes and everything to play for. In fact the next scheduled UT is called "Untold Tales of the Carnifex" as a matter of interest. | ||
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Anime Jason Owner Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834 |
Subject: I never get those. [Re: HH] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 04:54:32 pm EDT (Viewed 590 times) | |
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anime.mangacool.net (10.0.255.1) using Apple Safari 4.0 on MacOS X (0.06 points) Quote: He can't control the dead, but his kaos orbs can "possess" magic spells. hence magics used to raise and command zombies might fall under his domain, for example.That still implies the Carnifex may be dead. Or unalive. Or electronic. Quote: You're assuming that Tom is commanding the Carnifex. He isn't.Even if they're working for the same person, it seems Tom is more in command than the Carnifex is. Quote: When the LL finally fights the Carnifex it won't be in the last chapter of a Tom Black story. It'll be front and centre in a big bad Untold Tales with plenty of high stakes and everything to play for.The strange thing about that is Lara Night knows it's coming. She has a decision to make on whether to use the knowledge she has to help, or whether the clues to it being pointless and hopeless, and she's better off getting out of the way. And of course Faite would simply be making preparations to try and prevent the universe from being destroyed. Quote: In fact the next scheduled UT is called "Untold Tales of the Carnifex" as a matter of interest.Noted. | ||
CrazySugarFreakBoy! Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004 Posts: 1,235 |
Subject: You make unsavory supporting characters so interesting. :) [Re: The Hooded Hood] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 10:08:09 pm EDT (Viewed 570 times) | |
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Visionary Moderator Member Since: Sat Jan 03, 2004 Posts: 2,131 |
Subject: Well, so long as spiffy has everything under control out there. [Re: The Hooded Hood] Posted Mon May 25, 2009 at 10:51:39 pm EDT (Viewed 599 times) | |
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And Gothametropolis thought it had it rough when he was just mayor... An entertaining story set in the slimiest place on Earth! I too quite liked the interactions of the common folk as they observed the cascading apocalypse that was boiling across their city. The Parodyverse is filled with a hearty stock, I think. I'm a bit alarmed to see that press releases of Vizh's position have been making the rounds before the official announcement. Well, it's about time he started earning his paycheck. Um... there is a paycheck involved, right? Squibb's role was fun. One note, which I'm not sure has been established or not: Lust is probably the one vice Squibb doesn't revel in. He's very cold-blooded in that regard, and mammals' preoccupation with sex is baffling to him. To him, fertilization is something you do ideally after the female has left the room, largely because it's expected for her to devour her mate out of general testiness, hunger or simply boredom. And maybe also devour a few of the eggs after they hatch, if she can be bothered to show up. Don't even get him started on Mother's Day. I imagine his confused thinking on the matter in Badripoor is probably due to some vile scent or pheromone in the environment coincidentally triggering his reproductive instinct... otherwise, no male on his planet would be foolish enough to ever show up for a date. I'm looking forward to seeing how everyone gets out of this intact. Well, probably not everyone will, but still... | ||
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HH |
Subject: But in which direction? [Re: killer shrike] Posted Tue May 26, 2009 at 05:32:18 am EDT | |
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Quote: Quote: Quote: I expect to see Tom giving his word so as to spare Badripoor from the Canifex, in exchange for some kind of power sharing arrangement with spiffy Of course, it seems like he's already got a leg up on getting said power, since his kaos energies have infected all the technology on the island.Quote: Quote: The Carnifex isn't really big on listening to people - but hopefully our final episode should make sense of whay he's listening to Tom.Quote: Didn't Tom do him a favor by taking out Ku Ku Kachu? I assumed this was the payback.I don't think the Carnifax is that warm and cuddly. | ||
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HH |
Subject: And you a mystery writer. [Re: Anime Jason] Posted Tue May 26, 2009 at 05:34:15 am EDT (Viewed 2 times) | |
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Quote: Quote: He can't control the dead, but his kaos orbs can "possess" magic spells. hence magics used to raise and command zombies might fall under his domain, for example.Quote: That still implies the Carnifex may be dead. Or unalive. Or electronic.This is true - but only if Tom is controlling the Carnifex. Quote: Quote: You're assuming that Tom is commanding the Carnifex. He isn't.Quote: Even if they're working for the same person, it seems Tom is more in command than the Carnifex is.It does seem that way, yes. Quote: Quote: When the LL finally fights the Carnifex it won't be in the last chapter of a Tom Black story. It'll be front and centre in a big bad Untold Tales with plenty of high stakes and everything to play for.Quote: The strange thing about that is Lara Night knows it's coming. She has a decision to make on whether to use the knowledge she has to help, or whether the clues to it being pointless and hopeless, and she's better off getting out of the way.At the moment the general "reality vibe" is that the Carnifex is here to save the day. Quote: And of course Faite would simply be making preparations to try and prevent the universe from being destroyed.Why would she want to do that, though? Quote: Quote: In fact the next scheduled UT is called "Untold Tales of the Carnifex" as a matter of interest.Quote: Noted.Indeed. | ||
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HH |
Subject: And where are your savory supporting characters anyhow? It's ages since Dream even had a D&D session. [Re: CrazySugarFreakBoy!] Posted Tue May 26, 2009 at 05:35:11 am EDT | |
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HH is a traditionalist |
Subject: Actually, I think it may all be his fault. [Re: Visionary] Posted Tue May 26, 2009 at 05:44:10 am EDT | |
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Quote: And Gothametropolis thought it had it rough when he was just mayor... It did. Quote: An entertaining story set in the slimiest place on Earth! I too quite liked the interactions of the common folk as they observed the cascading apocalypse that was boiling across their city. The Parodyverse is filled with a hearty stock, I think.I think comics miss quite a bit of emotional resonance when they don't ground things in the reactions of everyday folks - or even lass than everyday folks. One of the things I dislike about the X-mutant ethos is that "they're only prejudiced norms" stuff. Nobody is normal. Everybody has a story. Even the guy who makes the red shirts. Quote: I'm a bit alarmed to see that press releases of Vizh's position have been making the rounds before the official announcement. Well, it's about time he started earning his paycheck. Um... there is a paycheck involved, right?I think we're massively overdue for a Vizh story on that count. I've been trying to fudge continuity so as not to undercut it. Not wishing to Dancer you but... get on with it. And I'd expect the alien community to be rather more up-to-date with what Vizh was doing (or going to do) than the population of Earth or even his associates. Especially if there were Caphan girls in the newsreels. Quote: Squibb's role was fun. One note, which I'm not sure has been established or not: Lust is probably the one vice Squibb doesn't revel in. He's very cold-blooded in that regard, and mammals' preoccupation with sex is baffling to him. To him, fertilization is something you do ideally after the female has left the room, largely because it's expected for her to devour her mate out of general testiness, hunger or simply boredom. And maybe also devour a few of the eggs after they hatch, if she can be bothered to show up. Don't even get him started on Mother's Day. I've amended a tiny part of the posted story to reflect this. Quote: I imagine his confused thinking on the matter in Badripoor is probably due to some vile scent or pheromone in the environment coincidentally triggering his reproductive instinct... otherwise, no male on his planet would be foolish enough to ever show up for a date.Maybe that's why he's interested in the way other species manage to mate without such a high body count? Quote: I'm looking forward to seeing how everyone gets out of this intact. Well, probably not everyone will, but still...Why should the story end badly for anyone? Can't we all just get along? | ||
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Anime Jason Owner Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834 |
Subject: It's all context these days. [Re: HH] Posted Tue May 26, 2009 at 07:58:04 am EDT (Viewed 539 times) | |
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anime.mangacool.net (10.0.255.1) using Apple Safari 4.0 on MacOS X (0 points) Most of the time I don't manage to put together the clues because it requires a puzzle piece from before my time, or from so long ago that I didn't remember to keep track. Visionary usually gets it because he remembers everything and has been here since day one. Quote: Quote: Quote: He can't control the dead, but his kaos orbs can "possess" magic spells. hence magics used to raise and command zombies might fall under his domain, for example.Quote: Quote: That still implies the Carnifex may be dead. Or unalive. Or electronic.Quote: This is true - but only if Tom is controlling the Carnifex.And *that* implies Tom has lost control if the Kaos energy, and it's controlling both him and the Carnifex. Quote: Quote: Quote: You're assuming that Tom is commanding the Carnifex. He isn't.Quote: Quote: Even if they're working for the same person, it seems Tom is more in command than the Carnifex is.Quote: It does seem that way, yes.See above. Quote: At the moment the general "reality vibe" is that the Carnifex is here to save the day.I meant that Lara knows a conflict between the Lair Legion and the Carnifex is inevitable - so any time the Lair Legion is on its way to the same place as the Carnifex...she gets nervous. The question for herself then is whether she should try to intervene somehow - try to prevent disaster - or stay out of the way. Quote: Quote: And of course Faite would simply be making preparations to try and prevent the universe from being destroyed.Quote: Why would she want to do that, though?It's her one and only job, and she gets bored. | ||
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Rhiannon |
Subject: Ow. [Re: The Hooded Hood] Posted Tue May 26, 2009 at 08:52:54 am EDT (Viewed 2 times) | |
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That ending doesn't sound very healthy for anyone, except maybe the Carnifex. The average people on the street scenes were really brilliant, a typical day in Badripoor could make a really fun story in its own right. | ||
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I don't think I like Tom Black. Or the Carnifex. Or the Necromancer General. A guy tries to run a corrupt Pacific Rim city-state in peace... |
Subject: Re: Tom Black #11: Last Man Standing [Re: The Hooded Hood] Posted Wed May 27, 2009 at 04:27:05 am EDT | |
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Quote: Quote: In which lots of very powerful people butt heads in the cause of random property damageand things get excessively green. Quote:  Previously: Tom Black #9: Badripoor Scheming Tom Black #10: Eggs In One Basket Quote: Tom Black, new possessor of the evil Kaos energies that allow him to control things electronic, mechanical, and arcane, has travelled to the corrupt Pacific-rim city state of Badripoor to learn more about his predecessor Count Armageddon. His arrival has attracted a lot of unwelcome attention from those seeking to steal his power, to manipulate him for their own ends, or to end his life.Quote: While attempting to question various major crimelords on the neutral territory of the Charity Club Black was attacked by occult adversaries set on by Vlastimock Bogoff, the Necromancer General. This has broken an ancient truce and has brought many factions into conflict. Baroness von Zemo, the Fokker Twins who rule HERPES, MODEM, chief scientist of BALD, Justus Screwdriver, the Lycanthropes Guild, the Cult of the Apostate, worshippers of the Fairly Great Old Ones, Anvil Man, Dreamripper, Genetwist, and Baroness Morbo are all involved in the battle.Quote: Matters have been complicated by the arrival of Mark Hopkins, aka spiffy, aka Badripoor’s President for Life, the only former Lair Legionnaire in the tangle, and by the Carnifex, the Parodyverse’s mightiest hero, a man not known for his softly softly approach to battle.Quote: Now things go boom.Quote: Quote: The people of Badripoor were used to the skies turning a strange colour and the city trembling. When the clouds above the Pacific-rim city state shifted to a lurid green and began to roil they simply went on with business as usual.Quote: “I wonder where we’ll teleport to this time?†wondered a street vendor offering I went to Skree Lump and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a case of intergalactic herpes t-shirts.Quote: “Just as long as it’s not Switzerland again,†answered a potential customer. “Those guys are just too clean and polite.â€ÂQuote: The city shook again. An old part of the sea wall crumbled down, crushing the shellfish stalls beneath. Up on the ridge where the elite played and power-brokered the façade of the colonial Charity Club exploded outwards.Quote: “Uh oh,†breathed one of the guys down on the docks selling doses of illegal superpower-granting Shazam. “That’s supposed to be neutral territory. That’s gonna make the kid gloves come off.â€ÂQuote: “Ia! Ia!†shrieked a purple-robed cultist excitedly as giant tendrils of a Dark Shoot of Shrub-Noggeroth wrapped itself around the ancient building. “Now my master shall arise and consume all! All!†He looked around worriedly and patted his pockets. “Hey, where’s my silver amulet of power? I could have sworn it was right here in my pocket?â€ÂQuote: The cultist next to him looked suddenly worried. “Your silver amulet? You mean our silver control amulet? And you left it in your pocket in this marketplace?â€ÂQuote: The first cultist looked stricken. “But I…â€ÂQuote: He didn’t get any further because the ground beneath him erupted with thousands of flailing multi-angled branches and dragged him down into eternal screaming.Quote: Nearby locals managed to get the whole thing on phone-cam to put on u-tube.Quote: In the wicked city’s alien quarter brash alarms rang out warning that sensors had picked up one particular intruder. “Are you certain?†screeched Erg-Yee, representative of the Shee-Yar Imperium in exile. “The bioweb might be faulty?â€ÂQuote: “It’s no mistake,†the shimmering hologram-creature of the Joad Majanu promised, looking up from its control console in Earth’s only intergalactic post office. “The Carnifex is in Badripoor. Those readings are unmistakable.â€ÂQuote: “The Carnifex who previously wiped out every being present in the Shee-Yar Imperium, extinguished billions of souls out in a single night?†cried out Anselephon Gastavard of the Dramaatis. “Oh woe, woe and thrice woe!â€ÂQuote: “You think he’s found out there’s still some dudes surviving here from his massacre and he’s, like, come to finish the job?†wondered Lugus, hippy space monk of the J’minti. “That’s heavy.â€ÂQuote: “He’s the Carnifex. He’s the greatest hunter in the Parodyverse,†pointed out a Shankarian pirate monkey to the stricken Erg-Yee. “If he wants to find you Shee-Yar dudes and snuff you all out then he can. End of story. Don’t stand so close to me.â€ÂQuote: “No! I’ll complain!†objected Erg-Yee, shaking his feathered head and looking round as the other aliens backed away from him. “I’ll claim asylum. We’re an endangered species.â€ÂQuote: “Dude, it’s the Carnifex,†pointed out Lugus. “He took out your whole empire in, like, three hours? Who are you gonna call to save you?â€ÂQuote: “Death comes like a gravid Broob-queen!†declaimed Anselephon. “His fatal tread swift, sure and final. To be or not to be…â€ÂQuote: “Maybe if we shoot him first then the Carnifex won’t come here?†speculated the pirate monkey. “Or maybe we just shoot the Dramaatis guy?â€ÂQuote: “Everyone’s a critic,†sulked Anselephon. Quote: The city shook again. The Joad Majanu backed away as its communications console began to glow green like the clouds above.Quote: “I’m claiming asylum!†shouted Erg-Yee. “For me and my people. Get me the Earth ambassador!â€ÂQuote: “Um…†the Joad Majanu answered uncertainly.Quote: “Dude, nobody’s gonna stand in the way if the Carnifex wants to finish off the rest of you ex-pat Shee-Yar,†Lugus warned.Quote: Erg-Yee pointed to the lurid green console. “Get me the Earth ambassador! Get me Visionary! Get me the Lair Legion!â€ÂQuote: Quote: In ancient charnel tunnels beneath Badripoor the Abyssal Crucius hurried to report to the Necromancer General who had bound him. The detonations above echoed even down here, dislodging long-dead insects from the matted webbing that roofed the circular chambers.Quote: “Well you’ve gone and done it now,†Crucius told Vlastimock Bogoff. “Master.â€ÂQuote: “It’s working then?†the Necromancer General asked. “The cultists and beastwalkers and their ilk are doing their jobs?â€ÂQuote: “For a given definition of working,†answered the crabbed brain-eater. “If you define working as ‘attacked blindly and got in the way of each other as they broke one of Badripoor’s oldest truces and got into a huge fight with supervillains and the Carnifex’. Master.â€ÂQuote: “What?†The Necromancer General had worked hard to broker opportunities for the various occult power bases to seize Tom Black and his power before the neophyte had time to learn its uses. He hadn’t expected complications of this sort.Quote: “Amazing isn’t it?†snorted Crucius. “Who’d have thought that one of your plans would go so horribly wrong? I know I’m shocked. Who’d have thought that it would crash straight into a major gathering of the world’s major crimelords and interfere with a supervillain hit squad having a go at this Black character? Who’d have thought that the whole thing would descend into one massive snafu of things exploding through several extra dimensions? Master.â€ÂQuote: The ancient tunnels shivered at an upheaval above.Quote: “Oh, did I mention that spiffy’s involved as well now? The Badripoor President-for-Life? The guy with that weird Unhappy Place fern? And I know I already mentioned the Carnifex but I think it’s also worth mentioning him again anyhow, seeing as he could wipe us all off the face of the planet before we even knew about it. Carnifex. Carnifex. Carnifex. Master.â€ÂQuote: The Necromancer General dismissed his minion’s vaporings. “None of that matters. Tell me whether we captured Black’s kaos energies when he was forced to unleash them against this overwhelming array of enemies.â€ÂQuote: The Abyssal Crucius sighed. “Shall I go get a dictionary so you can look up the definition of ‘obsessive’? Master. Yes, the containment sphere you conjured managed to sample the kaos energies. I’ve got a trio of zombies on their way down here now to deliver it.â€ÂQuote: “Good,†conceded Bogoff. “Anyone I know?â€ÂQuote: “Only locals. It’s not exactly hard to get good material to zombify in Badripoor. Just go fishing in the bay. Master.â€ÂQuote: The charnel chambers trembled again. Some of the old piled bones rattled down across the floor.Quote: “You know that breaking the Charity Club pact is considered to bring really bad luck, don’t you?†Crucius warned the Necromancer. “Master.â€ÂQuote: Quote: Bethany Shellett occupied a familiar place in Badripoorean politics. She liked to think of herself as spiffy’s PA, as his aide-de-camp, as the city’s comptroller and as a reformer in local politics and welfare provision. The people of the city-state were far happier to rank her as President Hopkins’ mistress. It didn’t mean they didn’t like her. She was Ava Peron.Quote: Beth had been against spiffy heading off to personally track down Tom Black. She’d urged him to take the information provided by that international detective woman and call in some heavy help. She’d argued that he was too important now to go risk his skin in some senseless supervillain brawl.Quote: She’d known even as she spoke that he wasn’t going to pass off protecting his city to anybody else.Quote: Then the explosions started.Quote: “Hey, that was a bigger-then-average mid-morning detonation,†observed Lindy Wilson, sauntering into the presidential suite from her early morning swim. The former teen superheroine Falconne was residing in the palace for legal reasons until her guardian’s claims on her custody could be revoked. Lindy had no problem living in decadent luxury for the next nineteen years or so; but being a friend of kerry Shepherdson she was a connoisseur of things blowing up. “Did Mark find what that Black character was up to then?â€ÂQuote: “He’s out there now,†Beth worried. “There’s smoke rising from the colonial terrace and I’ve lost radio contact with him.â€ÂQuote: Champagne Cacciatore was also present in the palace. She’d made her report and got spiffy out of the way long enough to already remove the Badripoorean crown jewels. It wasn’t like Badripoor needed them now. It was ninety years since they’d had a royal family.Quote: “Has anybody noticed the skies?†Champagne asked the others curiously.Quote: Beth looked out of the armour-plated windows of the Presidential palace. “Oh dear,†she worried. “I hope that’s not another teleport effect. We only just got the legal stuff settled after that Swiss junket.â€ÂQuote: “I’m not going to no bug-ugly alien world again,†Lindy insisted. “Unless they have those cute Caphan guys there with their olde-worlde jewel-giving customs,†she amended after some reflection. Quote: Champagne pointed to the phone and reading lamp on spiffy’s desk. “I only drew it to your attention because all the electrical equipment in the palace is glowing the same way,†she observed. “In a hue that seems reminiscent of the glow attributed to kaos energy.â€ÂQuote: Beth frowned. “Are you saying this is all Tom Black’s doing?â€ÂQuote: “I’m saying that there’s a reason it’s called kaos energy,†noted the international jewel thief. “Rumour is that Black is able to suffuse objects with his energies, and if they’re electronic or arcane he can take control of them.â€ÂQuote: The city shook as the diamond district detonated. A part of the stock exchange roof bounced off the side of the palace.Quote: “That does it,†Beth decided. She rummaged in spiffy’s desk drawer. “Mark said if things ever got bad I was to call in support.†She thumbed the Lair Legion comm-card.Quote: The comm-card self-destructed.Quote: Quote: Hallie, the Lair Legion’s resident artificial intelligence, winked her holgram form into existence in the team leader’s office. “Jay,†she called over to Hatman, “We may have a problem.â€ÂQuote: Jay Boaz looked up from the accounts he was studying with the administrators of the Benedicta Boaz Foundation. “Anything that doesn’t involve market projections and cost benefit analysis would be welcome,†he admitted. “I’d take the Yurt over explaining CSFB!’s expense claims any day. And don’t get me started on how Al B. can bill me for time travel experiments he claims were deleted from the timeline by subsequent events.â€ÂQuote: “I’ve had several calls from Badripoor in the last ten minutes,†Hallie explained. “One of them came from spiffy’s comm-card. The defence protocols automatically destructed the card.â€ÂQuote: “Deliberately?†Hatman checked. It wasn’t unknown for the thin communications devices to spontaneously detonate; especially spiffy’s card.Quote: “Deliberately. Firstly the card wasn’t being used by Mark Hopkins. Secondly the device was contaminated by kaos energies.â€ÂQuote: The leader of the Lair Legion frowned. “Kaos energies and Badripoor are not a happy combination,†he noted. “What about the other calls?â€ÂQuote: “Satellite phone contacts plus one over that intergalactic communications hub the refugee aliens set up there now Starcross is gone,†Hallie reported. “All the attempted calls were likewise kaos-tainted. The mansion defences blocked them, but Marie’s had to go lie down with a migraine.â€ÂQuote: “Satellite surveillance of Badripoor?†Hatty wondered with little hope of success.Quote: “Still blocked by the Idiom’s countermeasures,†the AI replied. “Al says he thinks he punched his way through before that timeline got retconned by the Moderator but now it never happened. I am getting heavy cloud activity over the city. Green clouds.â€ÂQuote: Hatman looked at the accountants. “I’m sorry, we’ll have to do this another time,†he told them politely, trying to hide his relief. “We have a Lair Emergency to handle.†He slammed his hand down on the big red button on his desk. “Hatman to the team. We’ve got big trouble in Badripoor. Head for Lairjet One stat. Looks like Tom Black is finally making his move. And if you’re Nats, Lair Legion Line Up!â€ÂQuote: There was the sound of the world’s greatest superheroes scrambling in the corridor outside. For example:Quote: “Yaaaayyyyyy!!!†called CrazySugarFreakBoy! “It’s clobberin’ time!â€ÂQuote: Quote: “Ah, there you are!†called the Abyssal Crucius as his three newest zombies shuffled through the sewers to the locus with the ancient charnel pits. “I was starting to get worried. You never call, you never write.â€ÂQuote: The three mindless animated corpses shuffled forward carrying the enchanted globe that had captured some of Tom Black’s kaos essence.Quote: “Yes, that’s the stuff,†agreed Crucius. “Poisonous and dangerous and likely to bring the Necromancer General to a bad end. What a shame. Let’s hurry and take it to him.â€ÂQuote: He opened the shadow portal so the zombies could pass through. “You know you’re pretty cute,†he told the third of the walking dead. “You come see me when all of this is over, baby. I’ll take you out for a meal.â€ÂQuote: There was a retching sound from the gloom of the sewer tunnel. “Eew,†objected Squibb, intergalactic mercenary bounty hunter for hire. “That’s pretty disgusting. And I'm from a species where your date is likely to eat you if she catches you fertilising her eggs. And not eat you in a good way.â€ÂQuote: “Who’s there?†demanded the leader of the Ghouls Under Badripoor. “Come on out where I can eviscerate you.â€ÂQuote: “Hey, I have a no-eviscerate clause in my contract,†objected Squibb. “And also a pair of Mark IX Shankaru Atomripper 9000s with the sexy lady reptile engraved on the hilts. They’re aimed at you and almost certainly charged.â€ÂQuote: “Well excuse me while I go change my underwear,†retorted Crucius. “So who are you and what do you want? Let’s have the exposition portion of this pointless dialogue.â€ÂQuote: “I’m Squibb, mightiest warrior of the, um, Squibbians, master of many deaths.â€ÂQuote: “You mean you die a lot?†checked the ghoul.Quote: “Um, no. I mean I… look, just stand back and hand over the zombies, mister.â€ÂQuote: “I thought you didn’t fancy her?†said Crucius. “I don’t know why though, look at the mould on those…â€ÂQuote: “Shutup!†the alien mercenary insisted. “Shutupshutupshutup! Although if you want to give me her number later for… No, shut up. I’m here to shoot your zombies, not to date them.â€ÂQuote: “To shoot them? You are aware that they’re already dead? It’s a prerequisite really. An entrance-level qualification to zombiehood.â€ÂQuote: “I know that. But the guy what hired me paid me to shoot them so that’s what I’m going to do.â€ÂQuote: A suspicion flickered across the Abyssal Crucius’ mind. “This man who hired you… he didn’t infuse your guns with livid green energies at all, did he? Raw kaos as some might term it?â€ÂQuote: “Well maybe,†conceded Squibb. “So what?â€ÂQuote: “So he intends to infect my zombies with his kaos energies, control them, then have them lead him back to my master, who in turn plots to use the stolen energies in this crystal sphere in a plan to destroy some American gangster. It gets quite Byzantine.â€ÂQuote: “So?†Squibb frowned. “I’m not a Byzantine. I don’t go to church at all these days. Okay, I bought one of those pamphlets from those people giving out flowers at the spaceport, the one about the coming Apostate, but only because the girl was cute and that Sister Bartok is a good-looking woman for someone without scales.â€ÂQuote: The Abyssal Crucius sighed. “And another staggering intellect joins the cast of thousands.†He stepped aside. “You want to shoot these zombies. Shoot them. Go ahead.â€ÂQuote: “You won’t stop me?â€ÂQuote: “I won’t stop you. Why should I care if your boss beats up the guy who bound me to his indentured service? Go for it. Don’t miss.â€ÂQuote: Squibb took his chance while he could and punched a zap-ray through each of the undead. They each glowed greenly for a second then went back to standing motionless and uncomprehending.Quote: “Right,†Crucius told him. “You’ve done your job. You’ve also used up the kaos energies in your ray guns. So now you can run.â€ÂQuote: “Run?†puzzled Squibb. “Why?â€ÂQuote: “Because I’m taking these three zombies as instructed to see the Necromancer General and you’ve got to face down all my other zombies that have been creeping in around you while we talked,†explained the Abyssal Crucius. “I think you’ll find they don’t care at all about Mark IX Shankaru Atomripper 9000s with the sexy lady reptile engraved on the hilts.â€ÂQuote: “Ah,†said Squibb. He ran.Quote: Crucius patted zombie number three on the bottom and shepherded them down to see Vlastimock Bogoff.Quote: Quote: “By the Hairy Hosts of Hoggin!†shouted Baroness Morbo, rising above the maelstrom around the Charity Club, “By the Slithering Spoors of Saggeroth! By the Violent Voidings of the Valenti! Let this elderspawn be bound!â€ÂQuote: Arcane energies wrapped around the Dark Shoot of Shrub-Noggeroth. The Dark Shoot wrapped itself around spiffy’s energy-manipulating fern. spiffy wrapped himself round the mind-shredding Dreamripper. Dreamripper hammered her dark visions into the incoming werewolf cult. The Guild of Shapeshifters, Skinwalkers and Allied Metamorphs fell upon the agents of HERPES.Quote: And so on.Quote: “Ouch,†said spiffy.Quote: “Stop!†boomed the Carnifex. “Anybody who wants to object is welcome to be the first to die.â€ÂQuote: “You can’t just…†Hansel Fokker began to object before his sister stunned him with an ashtray.Quote: “We surrender,†Greta Fokker called. “Do whatever you want with us.â€ÂQuote: The unstoppable Anvil Man startd to charge the Carnifex but stopped as the hunter turned to look at him. “Um…†Anvil Man said.Quote: “Die, blasphemer!†one particularly fanatical Apostate follower screamed, raising his machine pistol. Then the cultist screamed louder and fell to the floor. Nobody even saw the Carnifex move.Quote: “Well done, Mark!†applauded the Baroness. “Next kill all those tedious B.A.L.D scientists!â€ÂQuote: “Oh, everybody here dies,†the Carnifex promised Elizabeth von Zemo. He strode into the ruins of the Charity Club. “You, Hopkins, these villains, every miserable life in this crime-infested stinkhole.â€ÂQuote: “Me?†worried Elizabeth von Zemo. “But Markie…â€ÂQuote: “Everybody dies,†announced the Carnifex. “Everybody in this city except those I have a reason to spare.â€ÂQuote: “We can give you reasons,†Justus Screwdriver agreed quickly. “Lots of reasons. Millions of dollars of reasons…â€ÂQuote: “There’s only one reason I will spare any of you,†declared the Carnifex. He pointed to the ruins where Tom Black was limping towards them. “If he asks me to.â€ÂQuote: Above the city the green clouds released green lighting into the city below. Suddenly every electronic circuit, every mechanical device, came under the complete control of the master of the Kaos energies. No vehicle would move, no technology would operate, no door would open without his permission.Quote: Badripoor ground to a halt, helpless, held by Kaos, for the Carnifex’s judgement.Quote: Tom Black smiled at the assembled throng. “Well,†he told them, “this is going to be interesting.â€ÂQuote: Quote: Concluded in Tom Black #12: The Judgement of BadripoorQuote: Carnifex image provided by Dancer.Quote: Quote: Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2009 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2009 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
Posted Wed May 27, 2009 at 04:27:58 am EDT
Posted with Mozilla Firefox 3.0.10 on Windows XP
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In which lots of very powerful people butt heads in the cause of random property damageand things get excessively green.
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Previously: Tom Black #9: Badripoor Scheming
Tom Black #10: Eggs In One Basket
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Tom Black, new possessor of the evil Kaos energies that allow him to control things electronic, mechanical, and arcane, has travelled to the corrupt Pacific-rim city state of Badripoor to learn more about his predecessor Count Armageddon. His arrival has attracted a lot of unwelcome attention from those seeking to steal his power, to manipulate him for their own ends, or to end his life.Quote:
While attempting to question various major crimelords on the neutral territory of the Charity Club Black was attacked by occult adversaries set on by Vlastimock Bogoff, the Necromancer General. This has broken an ancient truce and has brought many factions into conflict. Baroness von Zemo, the Fokker Twins who rule HERPES, MODEM, chief scientist of BALD, Justus Screwdriver, the Lycanthropes Guild, the Cult of the Apostate, worshippers of the Fairly Great Old Ones, Anvil Man, Dreamripper, Genetwist, and Baroness Morbo are all involved in the battle.Quote:
Matters have been complicated by the arrival of Mark Hopkins, aka spiffy, aka Badripoor’s President for Life, the only former Lair Legionnaire in the tangle, and by the Carnifex, the Parodyverse’s mightiest hero, a man not known for his softly softly approach to battle.Quote:
Now things go boom.Quote:
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The people of Badripoor were used to the skies turning a strange colour and the city trembling. When the clouds above the Pacific-rim city state shifted to a lurid green and began to roil they simply went on with business as usual.Quote:
“I wonder where we’ll teleport to this time?†wondered a street vendor offering I went to Skree Lump and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a case of intergalactic herpes t-shirts.Quote:
“Just as long as it’s not Switzerland again,†answered a potential customer. “Those guys are just too clean and polite.â€ÂQuote:
The city shook again. An old part of the sea wall crumbled down, crushing the shellfish stalls beneath. Up on the ridge where the elite played and power-brokered the façade of the colonial Charity Club exploded outwards.Quote:
“Uh oh,†breathed one of the guys down on the docks selling doses of illegal superpower-granting Shazam. “That’s supposed to be neutral territory. That’s gonna make the kid gloves come off.â€ÂQuote:
“Ia! Ia!†shrieked a purple-robed cultist excitedly as giant tendrils of a Dark Shoot of Shrub-Noggeroth wrapped itself around the ancient building. “Now my master shall arise and consume all! All!†He looked around worriedly and patted his pockets. “Hey, where’s my silver amulet of power? I could have sworn it was right here in my pocket?â€ÂQuote:
The cultist next to him looked suddenly worried. “Your silver amulet? You mean our silver control amulet? And you left it in your pocket in this marketplace?â€ÂQuote:
The first cultist looked stricken. “But I…â€ÂQuote:
He didn’t get any further because the ground beneath him erupted with thousands of flailing multi-angled branches and dragged him down into eternal screaming.Quote:
Nearby locals managed to get the whole thing on phone-cam to put on u-tube.Quote:
In the wicked city’s alien quarter brash alarms rang out warning that sensors had picked up one particular intruder. “Are you certain?†screeched Erg-Yee, representative of the Shee-Yar Imperium in exile. “The bioweb might be faulty?â€ÂQuote:
“It’s no mistake,†the shimmering hologram-creature of the Joad Majanu promised, looking up from its control console in Earth’s only intergalactic post office. “The Carnifex is in Badripoor. Those readings are unmistakable.â€ÂQuote:
“The Carnifex who previously wiped out every being present in the Shee-Yar Imperium, extinguished billions of souls out in a single night?†cried out Anselephon Gastavard of the Dramaatis. “Oh woe, woe and thrice woe!â€ÂQuote:
“You think he’s found out there’s still some dudes surviving here from his massacre and he’s, like, come to finish the job?†wondered Lugus, hippy space monk of the J’minti. “That’s heavy.â€ÂQuote:
“He’s the Carnifex. He’s the greatest hunter in the Parodyverse,†pointed out a Shankarian pirate monkey to the stricken Erg-Yee. “If he wants to find you Shee-Yar dudes and snuff you all out then he can. End of story. Don’t stand so close to me.â€ÂQuote:
“No! I’ll complain!†objected Erg-Yee, shaking his feathered head and looking round as the other aliens backed away from him. “I’ll claim asylum. We’re an endangered species.â€ÂQuote:
“Dude, it’s the Carnifex,†pointed out Lugus. “He took out your whole empire in, like, three hours? Who are you gonna call to save you?â€ÂQuote:
“Death comes like a gravid Broob-queen!†declaimed Anselephon. “His fatal tread swift, sure and final. To be or not to be…â€ÂQuote:
“Maybe if we shoot him first then the Carnifex won’t come here?†speculated the pirate monkey. “Or maybe we just shoot the Dramaatis guy?â€ÂQuote:
“Everyone’s a critic,†sulked Anselephon. Quote:
The city shook again. The Joad Majanu backed away as its communications console began to glow green like the clouds above.Quote:
“I’m claiming asylum!†shouted Erg-Yee. “For me and my people. Get me the Earth ambassador!â€ÂQuote:
“Um…†the Joad Majanu answered uncertainly.Quote:
“Dude, nobody’s gonna stand in the way if the Carnifex wants to finish off the rest of you ex-pat Shee-Yar,†Lugus warned.Quote:
Erg-Yee pointed to the lurid green console. “Get me the Earth ambassador! Get me Visionary! Get me the Lair Legion!â€ÂQuote:
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In ancient charnel tunnels beneath Badripoor the Abyssal Crucius hurried to report to the Necromancer General who had bound him. The detonations above echoed even down here, dislodging long-dead insects from the matted webbing that roofed the circular chambers.Quote:
“Well you’ve gone and done it now,†Crucius told Vlastimock Bogoff. “Master.â€ÂQuote:
“It’s working then?†the Necromancer General asked. “The cultists and beastwalkers and their ilk are doing their jobs?â€ÂQuote:
“For a given definition of working,†answered the crabbed brain-eater. “If you define working as ‘attacked blindly and got in the way of each other as they broke one of Badripoor’s oldest truces and got into a huge fight with supervillains and the Carnifex’. Master.â€ÂQuote:
“What?†The Necromancer General had worked hard to broker opportunities for the various occult power bases to seize Tom Black and his power before the neophyte had time to learn its uses. He hadn’t expected complications of this sort.Quote:
“Amazing isn’t it?†snorted Crucius. “Who’d have thought that one of your plans would go so horribly wrong? I know I’m shocked. Who’d have thought that it would crash straight into a major gathering of the world’s major crimelords and interfere with a supervillain hit squad having a go at this Black character? Who’d have thought that the whole thing would descend into one massive snafu of things exploding through several extra dimensions? Master.â€ÂQuote:
The ancient tunnels shivered at an upheaval above.Quote:
“Oh, did I mention that spiffy’s involved as well now? The Badripoor President-for-Life? The guy with that weird Unhappy Place fern? And I know I already mentioned the Carnifex but I think it’s also worth mentioning him again anyhow, seeing as he could wipe us all off the face of the planet before we even knew about it. Carnifex. Carnifex. Carnifex. Master.â€ÂQuote:
The Necromancer General dismissed his minion’s vaporings. “None of that matters. Tell me whether we captured Black’s kaos energies when he was forced to unleash them against this overwhelming array of enemies.â€ÂQuote:
The Abyssal Crucius sighed. “Shall I go get a dictionary so you can look up the definition of ‘obsessive’? Master. Yes, the containment sphere you conjured managed to sample the kaos energies. I’ve got a trio of zombies on their way down here now to deliver it.â€ÂQuote:
“Good,†conceded Bogoff. “Anyone I know?â€ÂQuote:
“Only locals. It’s not exactly hard to get good material to zombify in Badripoor. Just go fishing in the bay. Master.â€ÂQuote:
The charnel chambers trembled again. Some of the old piled bones rattled down across the floor.Quote:
“You know that breaking the Charity Club pact is considered to bring really bad luck, don’t you?†Crucius warned the Necromancer. “Master.â€ÂQuote:
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Bethany Shellett occupied a familiar place in Badripoorean politics. She liked to think of herself as spiffy’s PA, as his aide-de-camp, as the city’s comptroller and as a reformer in local politics and welfare provision. The people of the city-state were far happier to rank her as President Hopkins’ mistress. It didn’t mean they didn’t like her. She was Ava Peron.Quote:
Beth had been against spiffy heading off to personally track down Tom Black. She’d urged him to take the information provided by that international detective woman and call in some heavy help. She’d argued that he was too important now to go risk his skin in some senseless supervillain brawl.Quote:
She’d known even as she spoke that he wasn’t going to pass off protecting his city to anybody else.Quote:
Then the explosions started.Quote:
“Hey, that was a bigger-then-average mid-morning detonation,†observed Lindy Wilson, sauntering into the presidential suite from her early morning swim. The former teen superheroine Falconne was residing in the palace for legal reasons until her guardian’s claims on her custody could be revoked. Lindy had no problem living in decadent luxury for the next nineteen years or so; but being a friend of kerry Shepherdson she was a connoisseur of things blowing up. “Did Mark find what that Black character was up to then?â€ÂQuote:
“He’s out there now,†Beth worried. “There’s smoke rising from the colonial terrace and I’ve lost radio contact with him.â€ÂQuote:
Champagne Cacciatore was also present in the palace. She’d made her report and got spiffy out of the way long enough to already remove the Badripoorean crown jewels. It wasn’t like Badripoor needed them now. It was ninety years since they’d had a royal family.Quote:
“Has anybody noticed the skies?†Champagne asked the others curiously.Quote:
Beth looked out of the armour-plated windows of the Presidential palace. “Oh dear,†she worried. “I hope that’s not another teleport effect. We only just got the legal stuff settled after that Swiss junket.â€ÂQuote:
“I’m not going to no bug-ugly alien world again,†Lindy insisted. “Unless they have those cute Caphan guys there with their olde-worlde jewel-giving customs,†she amended after some reflection. Quote:
Champagne pointed to the phone and reading lamp on spiffy’s desk. “I only drew it to your attention because all the electrical equipment in the palace is glowing the same way,†she observed. “In a hue that seems reminiscent of the glow attributed to kaos energy.â€ÂQuote:
Beth frowned. “Are you saying this is all Tom Black’s doing?â€ÂQuote:
“I’m saying that there’s a reason it’s called kaos energy,†noted the international jewel thief. “Rumour is that Black is able to suffuse objects with his energies, and if they’re electronic or arcane he can take control of them.â€ÂQuote:
The city shook as the diamond district detonated. A part of the stock exchange roof bounced off the side of the palace.Quote:
“That does it,†Beth decided. She rummaged in spiffy’s desk drawer. “Mark said if things ever got bad I was to call in support.†She thumbed the Lair Legion comm-card.Quote:
The comm-card self-destructed.Quote:
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Hallie, the Lair Legion’s resident artificial intelligence, winked her holgram form into existence in the team leader’s office. “Jay,†she called over to Hatman, “We may have a problem.â€ÂQuote:
Jay Boaz looked up from the accounts he was studying with the administrators of the Benedicta Boaz Foundation. “Anything that doesn’t involve market projections and cost benefit analysis would be welcome,†he admitted. “I’d take the Yurt over explaining CSFB!’s expense claims any day. And don’t get me started on how Al B. can bill me for time travel experiments he claims were deleted from the timeline by subsequent events.â€ÂQuote:
“I’ve had several calls from Badripoor in the last ten minutes,†Hallie explained. “One of them came from spiffy’s comm-card. The defence protocols automatically destructed the card.â€ÂQuote:
“Deliberately?†Hatman checked. It wasn’t unknown for the thin communications devices to spontaneously detonate; especially spiffy’s card.Quote:
“Deliberately. Firstly the card wasn’t being used by Mark Hopkins. Secondly the device was contaminated by kaos energies.â€ÂQuote:
The leader of the Lair Legion frowned. “Kaos energies and Badripoor are not a happy combination,†he noted. “What about the other calls?â€ÂQuote:
“Satellite phone contacts plus one over that intergalactic communications hub the refugee aliens set up there now Starcross is gone,†Hallie reported. “All the attempted calls were likewise kaos-tainted. The mansion defences blocked them, but Marie’s had to go lie down with a migraine.â€ÂQuote:
“Satellite surveillance of Badripoor?†Hatty wondered with little hope of success.Quote:
“Still blocked by the Idiom’s countermeasures,†the AI replied. “Al says he thinks he punched his way through before that timeline got retconned by the Moderator but now it never happened. I am getting heavy cloud activity over the city. Green clouds.â€ÂQuote:
Hatman looked at the accountants. “I’m sorry, we’ll have to do this another time,†he told them politely, trying to hide his relief. “We have a Lair Emergency to handle.†He slammed his hand down on the big red button on his desk. “Hatman to the team. We’ve got big trouble in Badripoor. Head for Lairjet One stat. Looks like Tom Black is finally making his move. And if you’re Nats, Lair Legion Line Up!â€ÂQuote:
There was the sound of the world’s greatest superheroes scrambling in the corridor outside. For example:Quote:
“Yaaaayyyyyy!!!†called CrazySugarFreakBoy! “It’s clobberin’ time!â€ÂQuote:
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“Ah, there you are!†called the Abyssal Crucius as his three newest zombies shuffled through the sewers to the locus with the ancient charnel pits. “I was starting to get worried. You never call, you never write.â€ÂQuote:
The three mindless animated corpses shuffled forward carrying the enchanted globe that had captured some of Tom Black’s kaos essence.Quote:
“Yes, that’s the stuff,†agreed Crucius. “Poisonous and dangerous and likely to bring the Necromancer General to a bad end. What a shame. Let’s hurry and take it to him.â€ÂQuote:
He opened the shadow portal so the zombies could pass through. “You know you’re pretty cute,†he told the third of the walking dead. “You come see me when all of this is over, baby. I’ll take you out for a meal.â€ÂQuote:
There was a retching sound from the gloom of the sewer tunnel. “Eew,†objected Squibb, intergalactic mercenary bounty hunter for hire. “That’s pretty disgusting. And I'm from a species where your date is likely to eat you if she catches you fertilising her eggs. And not eat you in a good way.â€ÂQuote:
“Who’s there?†demanded the leader of the Ghouls Under Badripoor. “Come on out where I can eviscerate you.â€ÂQuote:
“Hey, I have a no-eviscerate clause in my contract,†objected Squibb. “And also a pair of Mark IX Shankaru Atomripper 9000s with the sexy lady reptile engraved on the hilts. They’re aimed at you and almost certainly charged.â€ÂQuote:
“Well excuse me while I go change my underwear,†retorted Crucius. “So who are you and what do you want? Let’s have the exposition portion of this pointless dialogue.â€ÂQuote:
“I’m Squibb, mightiest warrior of the, um, Squibbians, master of many deaths.â€ÂQuote:
“You mean you die a lot?†checked the ghoul.Quote:
“Um, no. I mean I… look, just stand back and hand over the zombies, mister.â€ÂQuote:
“I thought you didn’t fancy her?†said Crucius. “I don’t know why though, look at the mould on those…â€ÂQuote:
“Shutup!†the alien mercenary insisted. “Shutupshutupshutup! Although if you want to give me her number later for… No, shut up. I’m here to shoot your zombies, not to date them.â€ÂQuote:
“To shoot them? You are aware that they’re already dead? It’s a prerequisite really. An entrance-level qualification to zombiehood.â€ÂQuote:
“I know that. But the guy what hired me paid me to shoot them so that’s what I’m going to do.â€ÂQuote:
A suspicion flickered across the Abyssal Crucius’ mind. “This man who hired you… he didn’t infuse your guns with livid green energies at all, did he? Raw kaos as some might term it?â€ÂQuote:
“Well maybe,†conceded Squibb. “So what?â€ÂQuote:
“So he intends to infect my zombies with his kaos energies, control them, then have them lead him back to my master, who in turn plots to use the stolen energies in this crystal sphere in a plan to destroy some American gangster. It gets quite Byzantine.â€ÂQuote:
“So?†Squibb frowned. “I’m not a Byzantine. I don’t go to church at all these days. Okay, I bought one of those pamphlets from those people giving out flowers at the spaceport, the one about the coming Apostate, but only because the girl was cute and that Sister Bartok is a good-looking woman for someone without scales.â€ÂQuote:
The Abyssal Crucius sighed. “And another staggering intellect joins the cast of thousands.†He stepped aside. “You want to shoot these zombies. Shoot them. Go ahead.â€ÂQuote:
“You won’t stop me?â€ÂQuote:
“I won’t stop you. Why should I care if your boss beats up the guy who bound me to his indentured service? Go for it. Don’t miss.â€ÂQuote:
Squibb took his chance while he could and punched a zap-ray through each of the undead. They each glowed greenly for a second then went back to standing motionless and uncomprehending.Quote:
“Right,†Crucius told him. “You’ve done your job. You’ve also used up the kaos energies in your ray guns. So now you can run.â€ÂQuote:
“Run?†puzzled Squibb. “Why?â€ÂQuote:
“Because I’m taking these three zombies as instructed to see the Necromancer General and you’ve got to face down all my other zombies that have been creeping in around you while we talked,†explained the Abyssal Crucius. “I think you’ll find they don’t care at all about Mark IX Shankaru Atomripper 9000s with the sexy lady reptile engraved on the hilts.â€ÂQuote:
“Ah,†said Squibb. He ran.Quote:
Crucius patted zombie number three on the bottom and shepherded them down to see Vlastimock Bogoff.Quote:
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“By the Hairy Hosts of Hoggin!†shouted Baroness Morbo, rising above the maelstrom around the Charity Club, “By the Slithering Spoors of Saggeroth! By the Violent Voidings of the Valenti! Let this elderspawn be bound!â€ÂQuote:
Arcane energies wrapped around the Dark Shoot of Shrub-Noggeroth. The Dark Shoot wrapped itself around spiffy’s energy-manipulating fern. spiffy wrapped himself round the mind-shredding Dreamripper. Dreamripper hammered her dark visions into the incoming werewolf cult. The Guild of Shapeshifters, Skinwalkers and Allied Metamorphs fell upon the agents of HERPES.Quote:
And so on.Quote:
“Ouch,†said spiffy.Quote:
“Stop!†boomed the Carnifex. “Anybody who wants to object is welcome to be the first to die.â€ÂQuote:
“You can’t just…†Hansel Fokker began to object before his sister stunned him with an ashtray.Quote:
“We surrender,†Greta Fokker called. “Do whatever you want with us.â€ÂQuote:
The unstoppable Anvil Man startd to charge the Carnifex but stopped as the hunter turned to look at him. “Um…†Anvil Man said.Quote:
“Die, blasphemer!†one particularly fanatical Apostate follower screamed, raising his machine pistol. Then the cultist screamed louder and fell to the floor. Nobody even saw the Carnifex move.Quote:
“Well done, Mark!†applauded the Baroness. “Next kill all those tedious B.A.L.D scientists!â€ÂQuote:
“Oh, everybody here dies,†the Carnifex promised Elizabeth von Zemo. He strode into the ruins of the Charity Club. “You, Hopkins, these villains, every miserable life in this crime-infested stinkhole.â€ÂQuote:
“Me?†worried Elizabeth von Zemo. “But Markie…â€ÂQuote:
“Everybody dies,†announced the Carnifex. “Everybody in this city except those I have a reason to spare.â€ÂQuote:
“We can give you reasons,†Justus Screwdriver agreed quickly. “Lots of reasons. Millions of dollars of reasons…â€ÂQuote:
“There’s only one reason I will spare any of you,†declared the Carnifex. He pointed to the ruins where Tom Black was limping towards them. “If he asks me to.â€ÂQuote:
Above the city the green clouds released green lighting into the city below. Suddenly every electronic circuit, every mechanical device, came under the complete control of the master of the Kaos energies. No vehicle would move, no technology would operate, no door would open without his permission.Quote:
Badripoor ground to a halt, helpless, held by Kaos, for the Carnifex’s judgement.Quote:
Tom Black smiled at the assembled throng. “Well,†he told them, “this is going to be interesting.â€ÂQuote:
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Concluded in Tom Black #12: The Judgement of BadripoorQuote:
Carnifex image provided by Dancer.Quote:
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Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2009 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2009 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.Posted Mon Jun 01, 2009 at 03:17:05 am EDT
Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows XP
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In which lots of very powerful people butt heads in the cause of random property damageand things get excessively green.
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Previously: Tom Black #9: Badripoor Scheming
Tom Black #10: Eggs In One Basket
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Tom Black, new possessor of the evil Kaos energies that allow him to control things electronic, mechanical, and arcane, has travelled to the corrupt Pacific-rim city state of Badripoor to learn more about his predecessor Count Armageddon. His arrival has attracted a lot of unwelcome attention from those seeking to steal his power, to manipulate him for their own ends, or to end his life.Quote:
While attempting to question various major crimelords on the neutral territory of the Charity Club Black was attacked by occult adversaries set on by Vlastimock Bogoff, the Necromancer General. This has broken an ancient truce and has brought many factions into conflict. Baroness von Zemo, the Fokker Twins who rule HERPES, MODEM, chief scientist of BALD, Justus Screwdriver, the Lycanthropes Guild, the Cult of the Apostate, worshippers of the Fairly Great Old Ones, Anvil Man, Dreamripper, Genetwist, and Baroness Morbo are all involved in the battle.Quote:
Matters have been complicated by the arrival of Mark Hopkins, aka spiffy, aka Badripoor’s President for Life, the only former Lair Legionnaire in the tangle, and by the Carnifex, the Parodyverse’s mightiest hero, a man not known for his softly softly approach to battle.Quote:
Now things go boom.Quote:
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The people of Badripoor were used to the skies turning a strange colour and the city trembling. When the clouds above the Pacific-rim city state shifted to a lurid green and began to roil they simply went on with business as usual.Quote:
“I wonder where we’ll teleport to this time?†wondered a street vendor offering I went to Skree Lump and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a case of intergalactic herpes t-shirts.Quote:
“Just as long as it’s not Switzerland again,†answered a potential customer. “Those guys are just too clean and polite.â€ÂQuote:
The city shook again. An old part of the sea wall crumbled down, crushing the shellfish stalls beneath. Up on the ridge where the elite played and power-brokered the façade of the colonial Charity Club exploded outwards.Quote:
“Uh oh,†breathed one of the guys down on the docks selling doses of illegal superpower-granting Shazam. “That’s supposed to be neutral territory. That’s gonna make the kid gloves come off.â€ÂQuote:
“Ia! Ia!†shrieked a purple-robed cultist excitedly as giant tendrils of a Dark Shoot of Shrub-Noggeroth wrapped itself around the ancient building. “Now my master shall arise and consume all! All!†He looked around worriedly and patted his pockets. “Hey, where’s my silver amulet of power? I could have sworn it was right here in my pocket?â€ÂQuote:
The cultist next to him looked suddenly worried. “Your silver amulet? You mean our silver control amulet? And you left it in your pocket in this marketplace?â€ÂQuote:
The first cultist looked stricken. “But I…â€ÂQuote:
He didn’t get any further because the ground beneath him erupted with thousands of flailing multi-angled branches and dragged him down into eternal screaming.Quote:
Nearby locals managed to get the whole thing on phone-cam to put on u-tube.Quote:
In the wicked city’s alien quarter brash alarms rang out warning that sensors had picked up one particular intruder. “Are you certain?†screeched Erg-Yee, representative of the Shee-Yar Imperium in exile. “The bioweb might be faulty?â€ÂQuote:
“It’s no mistake,†the shimmering hologram-creature of the Joad Majanu promised, looking up from its control console in Earth’s only intergalactic post office. “The Carnifex is in Badripoor. Those readings are unmistakable.â€ÂQuote:
“The Carnifex who previously wiped out every being present in the Shee-Yar Imperium, extinguished billions of souls out in a single night?†cried out Anselephon Gastavard of the Dramaatis. “Oh woe, woe and thrice woe!â€ÂQuote:
“You think he’s found out there’s still some dudes surviving here from his massacre and he’s, like, come to finish the job?†wondered Lugus, hippy space monk of the J’minti. “That’s heavy.â€ÂQuote:
“He’s the Carnifex. He’s the greatest hunter in the Parodyverse,†pointed out a Shankarian pirate monkey to the stricken Erg-Yee. “If he wants to find you Shee-Yar dudes and snuff you all out then he can. End of story. Don’t stand so close to me.â€ÂQuote:
“No! I’ll complain!†objected Erg-Yee, shaking his feathered head and looking round as the other aliens backed away from him. “I’ll claim asylum. We’re an endangered species.â€ÂQuote:
“Dude, it’s the Carnifex,†pointed out Lugus. “He took out your whole empire in, like, three hours? Who are you gonna call to save you?â€ÂQuote:
“Death comes like a gravid Broob-queen!†declaimed Anselephon. “His fatal tread swift, sure and final. To be or not to be…â€ÂQuote:
“Maybe if we shoot him first then the Carnifex won’t come here?†speculated the pirate monkey. “Or maybe we just shoot the Dramaatis guy?â€ÂQuote:
“Everyone’s a critic,†sulked Anselephon. Quote:
The city shook again. The Joad Majanu backed away as its communications console began to glow green like the clouds above.Quote:
“I’m claiming asylum!†shouted Erg-Yee. “For me and my people. Get me the Earth ambassador!â€ÂQuote:
“Um…†the Joad Majanu answered uncertainly.Quote:
“Dude, nobody’s gonna stand in the way if the Carnifex wants to finish off the rest of you ex-pat Shee-Yar,†Lugus warned.Quote:
Erg-Yee pointed to the lurid green console. “Get me the Earth ambassador! Get me Visionary! Get me the Lair Legion!â€ÂQuote:
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In ancient charnel tunnels beneath Badripoor the Abyssal Crucius hurried to report to the Necromancer General who had bound him. The detonations above echoed even down here, dislodging long-dead insects from the matted webbing that roofed the circular chambers.Quote:
“Well you’ve gone and done it now,†Crucius told Vlastimock Bogoff. “Master.â€ÂQuote:
“It’s working then?†the Necromancer General asked. “The cultists and beastwalkers and their ilk are doing their jobs?â€ÂQuote:
“For a given definition of working,†answered the crabbed brain-eater. “If you define working as ‘attacked blindly and got in the way of each other as they broke one of Badripoor’s oldest truces and got into a huge fight with supervillains and the Carnifex’. Master.â€ÂQuote:
“What?†The Necromancer General had worked hard to broker opportunities for the various occult power bases to seize Tom Black and his power before the neophyte had time to learn its uses. He hadn’t expected complications of this sort.Quote:
“Amazing isn’t it?†snorted Crucius. “Who’d have thought that one of your plans would go so horribly wrong? I know I’m shocked. Who’d have thought that it would crash straight into a major gathering of the world’s major crimelords and interfere with a supervillain hit squad having a go at this Black character? Who’d have thought that the whole thing would descend into one massive snafu of things exploding through several extra dimensions? Master.â€ÂQuote:
The ancient tunnels shivered at an upheaval above.Quote:
“Oh, did I mention that spiffy’s involved as well now? The Badripoor President-for-Life? The guy with that weird Unhappy Place fern? And I know I already mentioned the Carnifex but I think it’s also worth mentioning him again anyhow, seeing as he could wipe us all off the face of the planet before we even knew about it. Carnifex. Carnifex. Carnifex. Master.â€ÂQuote:
The Necromancer General dismissed his minion’s vaporings. “None of that matters. Tell me whether we captured Black’s kaos energies when he was forced to unleash them against this overwhelming array of enemies.â€ÂQuote:
The Abyssal Crucius sighed. “Shall I go get a dictionary so you can look up the definition of ‘obsessive’? Master. Yes, the containment sphere you conjured managed to sample the kaos energies. I’ve got a trio of zombies on their way down here now to deliver it.â€ÂQuote:
“Good,†conceded Bogoff. “Anyone I know?â€ÂQuote:
“Only locals. It’s not exactly hard to get good material to zombify in Badripoor. Just go fishing in the bay. Master.â€ÂQuote:
The charnel chambers trembled again. Some of the old piled bones rattled down across the floor.Quote:
“You know that breaking the Charity Club pact is considered to bring really bad luck, don’t you?†Crucius warned the Necromancer. “Master.â€ÂQuote:
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Bethany Shellett occupied a familiar place in Badripoorean politics. She liked to think of herself as spiffy’s PA, as his aide-de-camp, as the city’s comptroller and as a reformer in local politics and welfare provision. The people of the city-state were far happier to rank her as President Hopkins’ mistress. It didn’t mean they didn’t like her. She was Ava Peron.Quote:
Beth had been against spiffy heading off to personally track down Tom Black. She’d urged him to take the information provided by that international detective woman and call in some heavy help. She’d argued that he was too important now to go risk his skin in some senseless supervillain brawl.Quote:
She’d known even as she spoke that he wasn’t going to pass off protecting his city to anybody else.Quote:
Then the explosions started.Quote:
“Hey, that was a bigger-then-average mid-morning detonation,†observed Lindy Wilson, sauntering into the presidential suite from her early morning swim. The former teen superheroine Falconne was residing in the palace for legal reasons until her guardian’s claims on her custody could be revoked. Lindy had no problem living in decadent luxury for the next nineteen years or so; but being a friend of kerry Shepherdson she was a connoisseur of things blowing up. “Did Mark find what that Black character was up to then?â€ÂQuote:
“He’s out there now,†Beth worried. “There’s smoke rising from the colonial terrace and I’ve lost radio contact with him.â€ÂQuote:
Champagne Cacciatore was also present in the palace. She’d made her report and got spiffy out of the way long enough to already remove the Badripoorean crown jewels. It wasn’t like Badripoor needed them now. It was ninety years since they’d had a royal family.Quote:
“Has anybody noticed the skies?†Champagne asked the others curiously.Quote:
Beth looked out of the armour-plated windows of the Presidential palace. “Oh dear,†she worried. “I hope that’s not another teleport effect. We only just got the legal stuff settled after that Swiss junket.â€ÂQuote:
“I’m not going to no bug-ugly alien world again,†Lindy insisted. “Unless they have those cute Caphan guys there with their olde-worlde jewel-giving customs,†she amended after some reflection. Quote:
Champagne pointed to the phone and reading lamp on spiffy’s desk. “I only drew it to your attention because all the electrical equipment in the palace is glowing the same way,†she observed. “In a hue that seems reminiscent of the glow attributed to kaos energy.â€ÂQuote:
Beth frowned. “Are you saying this is all Tom Black’s doing?â€ÂQuote:
“I’m saying that there’s a reason it’s called kaos energy,†noted the international jewel thief. “Rumour is that Black is able to suffuse objects with his energies, and if they’re electronic or arcane he can take control of them.â€ÂQuote:
The city shook as the diamond district detonated. A part of the stock exchange roof bounced off the side of the palace.Quote:
“That does it,†Beth decided. She rummaged in spiffy’s desk drawer. “Mark said if things ever got bad I was to call in support.†She thumbed the Lair Legion comm-card.Quote:
The comm-card self-destructed.Quote:
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Hallie, the Lair Legion’s resident artificial intelligence, winked her holgram form into existence in the team leader’s office. “Jay,†she called over to Hatman, “We may have a problem.â€ÂQuote:
Jay Boaz looked up from the accounts he was studying with the administrators of the Benedicta Boaz Foundation. “Anything that doesn’t involve market projections and cost benefit analysis would be welcome,†he admitted. “I’d take the Yurt over explaining CSFB!’s expense claims any day. And don’t get me started on how Al B. can bill me for time travel experiments he claims were deleted from the timeline by subsequent events.â€ÂQuote:
“I’ve had several calls from Badripoor in the last ten minutes,†Hallie explained. “One of them came from spiffy’s comm-card. The defence protocols automatically destructed the card.â€ÂQuote:
“Deliberately?†Hatman checked. It wasn’t unknown for the thin communications devices to spontaneously detonate; especially spiffy’s card.Quote:
“Deliberately. Firstly the card wasn’t being used by Mark Hopkins. Secondly the device was contaminated by kaos energies.â€ÂQuote:
The leader of the Lair Legion frowned. “Kaos energies and Badripoor are not a happy combination,†he noted. “What about the other calls?â€ÂQuote:
“Satellite phone contacts plus one over that intergalactic communications hub the refugee aliens set up there now Starcross is gone,†Hallie reported. “All the attempted calls were likewise kaos-tainted. The mansion defences blocked them, but Marie’s had to go lie down with a migraine.â€ÂQuote:
“Satellite surveillance of Badripoor?†Hatty wondered with little hope of success.Quote:
“Still blocked by the Idiom’s countermeasures,†the AI replied. “Al says he thinks he punched his way through before that timeline got retconned by the Moderator but now it never happened. I am getting heavy cloud activity over the city. Green clouds.â€ÂQuote:
Hatman looked at the accountants. “I’m sorry, we’ll have to do this another time,†he told them politely, trying to hide his relief. “We have a Lair Emergency to handle.†He slammed his hand down on the big red button on his desk. “Hatman to the team. We’ve got big trouble in Badripoor. Head for Lairjet One stat. Looks like Tom Black is finally making his move. And if you’re Nats, Lair Legion Line Up!â€ÂQuote:
There was the sound of the world’s greatest superheroes scrambling in the corridor outside. For example:Quote:
“Yaaaayyyyyy!!!†called CrazySugarFreakBoy! “It’s clobberin’ time!â€ÂQuote:
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“Ah, there you are!†called the Abyssal Crucius as his three newest zombies shuffled through the sewers to the locus with the ancient charnel pits. “I was starting to get worried. You never call, you never write.â€ÂQuote:
The three mindless animated corpses shuffled forward carrying the enchanted globe that had captured some of Tom Black’s kaos essence.Quote:
“Yes, that’s the stuff,†agreed Crucius. “Poisonous and dangerous and likely to bring the Necromancer General to a bad end. What a shame. Let’s hurry and take it to him.â€ÂQuote:
He opened the shadow portal so the zombies could pass through. “You know you’re pretty cute,†he told the third of the walking dead. “You come see me when all of this is over, baby. I’ll take you out for a meal.â€ÂQuote:
There was a retching sound from the gloom of the sewer tunnel. “Eew,†objected Squibb, intergalactic mercenary bounty hunter for hire. “That’s pretty disgusting. And I'm from a species where your date is likely to eat you if she catches you fertilising her eggs. And not eat you in a good way.â€ÂQuote:
“Who’s there?†demanded the leader of the Ghouls Under Badripoor. “Come on out where I can eviscerate you.â€ÂQuote:
“Hey, I have a no-eviscerate clause in my contract,†objected Squibb. “And also a pair of Mark IX Shankaru Atomripper 9000s with the sexy lady reptile engraved on the hilts. They’re aimed at you and almost certainly charged.â€ÂQuote:
“Well excuse me while I go change my underwear,†retorted Crucius. “So who are you and what do you want? Let’s have the exposition portion of this pointless dialogue.â€ÂQuote:
“I’m Squibb, mightiest warrior of the, um, Squibbians, master of many deaths.â€ÂQuote:
“You mean you die a lot?†checked the ghoul.Quote:
“Um, no. I mean I… look, just stand back and hand over the zombies, mister.â€ÂQuote:
“I thought you didn’t fancy her?†said Crucius. “I don’t know why though, look at the mould on those…â€ÂQuote:
“Shutup!†the alien mercenary insisted. “Shutupshutupshutup! Although if you want to give me her number later for… No, shut up. I’m here to shoot your zombies, not to date them.â€ÂQuote:
“To shoot them? You are aware that they’re already dead? It’s a prerequisite really. An entrance-level qualification to zombiehood.â€ÂQuote:
“I know that. But the guy what hired me paid me to shoot them so that’s what I’m going to do.â€ÂQuote:
A suspicion flickered across the Abyssal Crucius’ mind. “This man who hired you… he didn’t infuse your guns with livid green energies at all, did he? Raw kaos as some might term it?â€ÂQuote:
“Well maybe,†conceded Squibb. “So what?â€ÂQuote:
“So he intends to infect my zombies with his kaos energies, control them, then have them lead him back to my master, who in turn plots to use the stolen energies in this crystal sphere in a plan to destroy some American gangster. It gets quite Byzantine.â€ÂQuote:
“So?†Squibb frowned. “I’m not a Byzantine. I don’t go to church at all these days. Okay, I bought one of those pamphlets from those people giving out flowers at the spaceport, the one about the coming Apostate, but only because the girl was cute and that Sister Bartok is a good-looking woman for someone without scales.â€ÂQuote:
The Abyssal Crucius sighed. “And another staggering intellect joins the cast of thousands.†He stepped aside. “You want to shoot these zombies. Shoot them. Go ahead.â€ÂQuote:
“You won’t stop me?â€ÂQuote:
“I won’t stop you. Why should I care if your boss beats up the guy who bound me to his indentured service? Go for it. Don’t miss.â€ÂQuote:
Squibb took his chance while he could and punched a zap-ray through each of the undead. They each glowed greenly for a second then went back to standing motionless and uncomprehending.Quote:
“Right,†Crucius told him. “You’ve done your job. You’ve also used up the kaos energies in your ray guns. So now you can run.â€ÂQuote:
“Run?†puzzled Squibb. “Why?â€ÂQuote:
“Because I’m taking these three zombies as instructed to see the Necromancer General and you’ve got to face down all my other zombies that have been creeping in around you while we talked,†explained the Abyssal Crucius. “I think you’ll find they don’t care at all about Mark IX Shankaru Atomripper 9000s with the sexy lady reptile engraved on the hilts.â€ÂQuote:
“Ah,†said Squibb. He ran.Quote:
Crucius patted zombie number three on the bottom and shepherded them down to see Vlastimock Bogoff.Quote:
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“By the Hairy Hosts of Hoggin!†shouted Baroness Morbo, rising above the maelstrom around the Charity Club, “By the Slithering Spoors of Saggeroth! By the Violent Voidings of the Valenti! Let this elderspawn be bound!â€ÂQuote:
Arcane energies wrapped around the Dark Shoot of Shrub-Noggeroth. The Dark Shoot wrapped itself around spiffy’s energy-manipulating fern. spiffy wrapped himself round the mind-shredding Dreamripper. Dreamripper hammered her dark visions into the incoming werewolf cult. The Guild of Shapeshifters, Skinwalkers and Allied Metamorphs fell upon the agents of HERPES.Quote:
And so on.Quote:
“Ouch,†said spiffy.Quote:
“Stop!†boomed the Carnifex. “Anybody who wants to object is welcome to be the first to die.â€ÂQuote:
“You can’t just…†Hansel Fokker began to object before his sister stunned him with an ashtray.Quote:
“We surrender,†Greta Fokker called. “Do whatever you want with us.â€ÂQuote:
The unstoppable Anvil Man startd to charge the Carnifex but stopped as the hunter turned to look at him. “Um…†Anvil Man said.Quote:
“Die, blasphemer!†one particularly fanatical Apostate follower screamed, raising his machine pistol. Then the cultist screamed louder and fell to the floor. Nobody even saw the Carnifex move.Quote:
“Well done, Mark!†applauded the Baroness. “Next kill all those tedious B.A.L.D scientists!â€ÂQuote:
“Oh, everybody here dies,†the Carnifex promised Elizabeth von Zemo. He strode into the ruins of the Charity Club. “You, Hopkins, these villains, every miserable life in this crime-infested stinkhole.â€ÂQuote:
“Me?†worried Elizabeth von Zemo. “But Markie…â€ÂQuote:
“Everybody dies,†announced the Carnifex. “Everybody in this city except those I have a reason to spare.â€ÂQuote:
“We can give you reasons,†Justus Screwdriver agreed quickly. “Lots of reasons. Millions of dollars of reasons…â€ÂQuote:
“There’s only one reason I will spare any of you,†declared the Carnifex. He pointed to the ruins where Tom Black was limping towards them. “If he asks me to.â€ÂQuote:
Above the city the green clouds released green lighting into the city below. Suddenly every electronic circuit, every mechanical device, came under the complete control of the master of the Kaos energies. No vehicle would move, no technology would operate, no door would open without his permission.Quote:
Badripoor ground to a halt, helpless, held by Kaos, for the Carnifex’s judgement.Quote:
Tom Black smiled at the assembled throng. “Well,†he told them, “this is going to be interesting.â€ÂQuote:
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Concluded in Tom Black #12: The Judgement of BadripoorQuote:
Carnifex image provided by Dancer.Quote:
Quote:
Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2009 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2009 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.
Member Since: Fri Jan 02, 2004
Posts: 391
Posted Sat Jun 06, 2009 at 07:19:51 am EDT (Viewed 523 times)
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Posted Sun Jun 07, 2009 at 06:03:17 am EDT (Viewed 2 times)
Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
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Most of the time I don't manage to put together the clues because it requires a puzzle piece from before my time, or from so long ago that I didn't remember to keep track. Visionary usually gets it because he remembers everything and has been here since day one.
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He can't control the dead, but his kaos orbs can "possess" magic spells. hence magics used to raise and command zombies might fall under his domain, for example.Quote:
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That still implies the Carnifex may be dead. Or unalive. Or electronic.Quote:
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This is true - but only if Tom is controlling the Carnifex.Quote:
And *that* implies Tom has lost control if the Kaos energy, and it's controlling both him and the Carnifex.That's a possibility (but it's not what's happened).
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At the moment the general "reality vibe" is that the Carnifex is here to save the day.Quote:
I meant that Lara knows a conflict between the Lair Legion and the Carnifex is inevitable - so any time the Lair Legion is on its way to the same place as the Carnifex...she gets nervous. The question for herself then is whether she should try to intervene somehow - try to prevent disaster - or stay out of the way.The LL are still inviting the Carnifex to join them - or lead them - at this point.
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And of course Faite would simply be making preparations to try and prevent the universe from being destroyed.Quote:
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Why would she want to do that, though?Quote:
It's her one and only job, and she gets bored.Did we ever get an origin for her?
Posted Sun Jun 07, 2009 at 06:04:36 am EDT (Viewed 1 times)
Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
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That ending doesn't sound very healthy for anyone, except maybe the Carnifex. The average people on the street scenes were really brilliant, a typical day in Badripoor could make a really fun story in its own right.The nice thing about the parodyverse is that there are plenty of interesting places and situations where you could do "day in the life" stuff.
Posted Sun Jun 07, 2009 at 06:19:46 am EDT
Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
Posted Sun Jun 07, 2009 at 06:20:07 am EDT
Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
Posted Sun Jun 07, 2009 at 06:20:30 am EDT
Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
Owner
Location: Here
Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004
Posts: 2,834
Posted Sun Jun 07, 2009 at 09:03:13 am EDT (Viewed 584 times)
anime.mangacool.net (10.0.255.1)
using Apple Safari 4.0 on MacOS X (0.21 points)
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That's a possibility (but it's not what's happened).I guess I can give up speculating on that now.
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The LL are still inviting the Carnifex to join them - or lead them - at this point.I wonder why he hasn't taken the offer? If his job is to destroy the LL, the best way is from within. Even the Hooded Hood knew that.
For instance what would happen if he implements new rules and discipline for the LL? What happens if, say, he decides the LL should slim down and be all super powered, because everyone else is too weak and/or a liability to the team that always needs to be rescued? And the first thing he does to that effect, to make a leaner and meaner team, is fire Al B Harper, Visionary and Yuki Shiro? And then to make the team less risk-prone, ask all nonessential personnel like Anna to move out of the mansion. And then he might either recruit or boot out Lara Night, and pick up a few independent super-powered heroes...or maybe villains.
The point to that long paragraph is, he could destroy the Lair Legion simply by tearing apart friendships, and throwing together alliances that could cause its root members to either become completely ineffective, or simply quit. Especially if, while he's making the changes he keeps an "if you don't like it you're free to quit" strategy. It would be like the worst kind of corporate restructuring, which usually results in the death of the company.
Note also that with that kind of attitude, he might not have to fire Yuki. She would probably lose her temper and quit.
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Did we ever get an origin for her?The only origin for Faite so far is that she's "always been there". She originally came from an alternate Hatman story, but I decided to use her in the general Parodyverse. There is a possibility that the Hooded Hood retconned her existence in for a purpose, possibly to prepare for times when he's dead or incapacitated.
Posted Mon Jun 08, 2009 at 03:59:55 am EDT (Viewed 2 times)
Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
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That's a possibility (but it's not what's happened).Quote:
I guess I can give up speculating on that now.Where's the fun in that? The clues are all in the text of the last three chapters (the parts of this arc). I'm playing fair. Rhiannon worked it out, although she did have the advantage of being able to corner me in the kitchen and cross-examine me.
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The LL are still inviting the Carnifex to join them - or lead them - at this point.Quote:
I wonder why he hasn't taken the offer? If his job is to destroy the LL, the best way is from within. Even the Hooded Hood knew that.Closer ties with the LL gives them more opportunities to spot anomalies. But the real reason is that the Carnifex doesn't want a weakened, divided Legion to eventually hunt, kill, and mount on his walls. Where's the fun in that? When he comes for them it'll be with plenty of warning and a chance for them to run.
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For instance what would happen if he implements new rules and discipline for the LL? What happens if, say, he decides the LL should slim down and be all super powered, because everyone else is too weak and/or a liability to the team that always needs to be rescued? And the first thing he does to that effect, to make a leaner and meaner team, is fire Al B Harper, Visionary and Yuki Shiro? And then to make the team less risk-prone, ask all nonessential personnel like Anna to move out of the mansion. And then he might either recruit or boot out Lara Night, and pick up a few independent super-powered heroes...or maybe villains.That's more likely the scenario that would have panned out a few years back when Fin Fang Foom was leader and was secretly replaced by the undead Makluan Devil Doctor, had not the imposture been exposed by the return of the real Finny.
In fact I've done the "double/traitor in the LL" story too often now, so I'm actively avoiding telling that story again.
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The point to that long paragraph is, he could destroy the Lair Legion simply by tearing apart friendships, and throwing together alliances that could cause its root members to either become completely ineffective, or simply quit. Especially if, while he's making the changes he keeps an "if you don't like it you're free to quit" strategy. It would be like the worst kind of corporate restructuring, which usually results in the death of the company.It's true that this would be an effective method against the LL, but it's not really how the Carnifex would attack. It doesn't involve enough bleeding.
The Hooded Hood might look at a divide and conquer scenario when the time comes for him to destroy the Lair Legion. He could easily seperate them into factions with a simple kill/no kill choice or a save our families/save the universe decision, or even a destroy our rogue ally or doom the Earth scenario.
Or he could just declare open season on superheroes and expect every villain on the planet and beyond to anihillate the Legion and anyone associated with them in the next twenty-four hours; but he wouldn't be foolish enough to expect that to work, only to keep the Legion out of his hair for a critical period.
Mostly though, if and when the Hood takes down the LL (or tries to) he'd want to offer them epic, appropriate personal deaths or permanent defeats worthy of foes for whom he has immense respect.Indeed.
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Did we ever get an origin for her?Quote:
The only origin for Faite so far is that she's "always been there". She originally came from an alternate Hatman story, but I decided to use her in the general Parodyverse. There is a possibility that the Hooded Hood retconned her existence in for a purpose, possibly to prepare for times when he's dead or incapacitated.He tends to do things like that without telling me.
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Where's the fun in that? The clues are all in the text of the last three chapters (the parts of this arc). I'm playing fair. Rhiannon worked it out, although she did have the advantage of being able to corner me in the kitchen and cross-examine me.Mostly because a) I ran out of speculations, and b) because when that happens it usually means there's a critical clue that I either missed or relates to something I couldn't have possibly known.
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Closer ties with the LL gives them more opportunities to spot anomalies. But the real reason is that the Carnifex doesn't want a weakened, divided Legion to eventually hunt, kill, and mount on his walls. Where's the fun in that? When he comes for them it'll be with plenty of warning and a chance for them to run.It's not about chasing a weakened Lair Legion, it's about destroying them twice: Killing their beloved institution, and then hunting and killing them after.
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That's more likely the scenario that would have panned out a few years back when Fin Fang Foom was leader and was secretly replaced by the undead Makluan Devil Doctor, had not the imposture been exposed by the return of the real Finny.I never saw that one.
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In fact I've done the "double/traitor in the LL" story too often now, so I'm actively avoiding telling that story again.Noted.
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It's true that this would be an effective method against the LL, but it's not really how the Carnifex would attack. It doesn't involve enough bleeding.This is actually where Faite would interfere, by the way. The Carnifex is waiting for the right timing to go after the LL, and he's extremely patient for that time to arrive. Faite's subtle modifications would usually involve making sure the time is never quite right.
Note that also means if she has to, Faite *will* cause the Lair Legion to break up and separate for its own safety and its own good.
Also remember that Anna was commissioned and created by SPUD specifically with the power, training, and intelligence to destroy the Lair Legion all by herself - though obviously only in theory, since she was never tested. It was their insurance policy in case they had a problem with the Lair Legion, since their job *is* to protect the world from rogue metahumans, and they really had limited resources otherwise. The jury's still out on whether they made a second attempt.
Anyway, the point is that Anna might be quite an annoyance to the Carnifex when he takes on the LL...maybe. She has problems with working past fears that interfere with her performance, so first she would have to have an inspiration of bravery rather than running and hiding until she's cornered. Second, since SPUD had no capability files on the Carnifex, she would have to improvise, which makes her much less effective. And of course the biggest problem, even Anna herself isn't sure she could bear to kill even the Carnifex - which is a huge liability when taking on a bloodthirsty hunter.
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Mostly though, if and when the Hood takes down the LL (or tries to) he'd want to offer them epic, appropriate personal deaths or permanent defeats worthy of foes for whom he has immense respect.I always thought he might offer each one of the Lair Legion the life they always wanted, the condition being that they would have to leave behind the LL and their friends. Some of them, like Hatman and Yuki, would be particularly tempted. The flip side would be anyone who refuses gets to watch the Lair Legion become incapacitated and destroyed.
Actually, on that note, it might be the Hooded Hood forces *one* Legionnaire to make that choice for everyone. Send everyone to different paths and lives, or watch the LL be hunted and killed.
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Note also that with that kind of attitude, he might not have to fire Yuki. She would probably lose her temper and quit.Quote:
Indeed.Of course then she would secretly form her own elite force. You know her.
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Did we ever get an origin for her?Quote:
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The only origin for Faite so far is that she's "always been there". She originally came from an alternate Hatman story, but I decided to use her in the general Parodyverse. There is a possibility that the Hooded Hood retconned her existence in for a purpose, possibly to prepare for times when he's dead or incapacitated.Quote:
He tends to do things like that without telling me.You never know.