Icy looked around Hatman’s office. He focused on a large plant behind Hatman’s mahogony desk. It was a fern, which looked like a palm. Icy wondered if one could substitute a Christmas tree for a Palm. Do they have Christmas Palms on tropical islands? Do parents of tropical islands say things like, ‘Hey Jimmy, do you want to decorate the Christmas palm?”

“We’ll ignore the dimensional phenomenon of the igloo for the time being,” Hatman said. Icy snapped back to attention. “For now let’s focus on the creature in the igloo who attacked everyone.”

“Well, he’a a magical being,” CSFB said. “He can shoot mini-icicles from his hand and he has a staff, which is clearly a magical tool.”

“He looks a lot like troll,” Icy submitted.

“Alright, now we’re getting somewhere,” Hatman said. “Maybe we can use that somehow.”

“I think we should go in all three and take him,” CSFB said. “After all, he’s just one troll.”

“Are you thinking about using a stun grenade?” Hatman asked.

“Yep.”

Hatman thought it over carefully. He decided he didn’t have enough information about the troll, if he was a troll, to use against him. CSFB’s plan seemed to be the logical one. “Alright let’s go.” Hatman, CSFB and Icy left Hatman’s office and made their way out of the mansion. They walked onto the front lawn of the LL mansion.

“Huddle,” Hatman said. All three huddled and Hatman gave orders in a conspiratol whisper. “Ok. CSFB, you roll the stun grenade in the igloo. As soon as it goes off, we’ll go in one at a time. We find the creature and drag him outside.” CSFB and Icy nodded in agreement. Then they broke the huddle and carefully approached the igloo.

As soon as he was close enough, CSFB pulled the pin on a stun grenade and rolled it in the igloo. Then the stun grenade rolled back out. A flash went off and the stun grenade knocked Icy, Hatman and CSFB off their feet. When they came to, the creature who was indeed an ice troll stood over them.

The ice troll was small in stature, especially compared to other trolls such as Wangmundo. He had a gotee, which icicles hung off the end. He was an older troll, and he leaned on his staff. When he addressed the three on the ground he said in an instructional voice,

“I’m throwing a party and you’re not to disturb my guests." Behind the ice troll was loud music and beings chattering- coming from the igloo. "My home periodically moves from dimension to dimension and now it has ended up in your igloo. You’ll just have to live with that. Good day gentleman.” The ice troll turned around and crawled inside the igloo.

Hatman, CSFB and Icy looked at each other, baffled. They got up from the ground and decided to go back to the mansion and come up with a new stradegy. When all three of them were back in Hatman’s office, CSFB said,”

“Should we try and remove him by force?” with emphasis on ‘Should’.

“I don’t know; he did seem kind of polite,” Icy said.

“Did he say he was throwing a party?”

“Yes,” CSFB said.

“Great, so now we have more squatters,” Hatman said.

“Well, maybe they’ll leave in a couple hours,” Icy said.

“True, and I wouldn’t have a problem with that but what if they don’t leave for a couple days? I don’t want to get rough with those folks anymore than you do, but what if they get loud and don’t plan on leaving?”

“Alright, lets go back out there and ask them,” Icy said. They all agreed and got up and left Hatman’s office. When they got to the living area of the mansion they gawked from their bay window at the scene on their front lawn. Outside there was a topless amazon running around the igloo. She was chased by a rodent creature in a speedo. Loud music was booming from the igloo. Icy, Hatman and CSFB stood speechless with their mouths open.

Then a knock at the door interrupted them. Icy made his way from the bay window to the front door. When he opened the front door he saw a gnome standing there with a bucket and champaign bottle. “Could I bother you for a bottle opener?” The gnome asked.

“Absolutely not,” Icy said infuriated.

“Geeze, you need to chill out man.” The gnome said. He turned around and made his way back to the igloo. Icy shut the door and walked back to the living room where Hatman and CSFB continued to stare out the bay window at the half naked amazon. They snapped out of it and Hatman said,

“Alright, we have to move them out of here.”

“Move them where?” CSFB asked.

“Well, we have to overpower them and then demand they leave our dimension and the igloo.”

“Ok, let’s do this.” Hatman put on a magician’s cap, so he could take on the ice troll. CSFB ate half a box of Crispie Crème donuts to power up. Icy prepared to freeze anybody including topless amazons in their tracks. When they were ready, Hatman opened the front door and they moved onto the front lawn. But just then, the loud dance music emitting from the igloo ceased. Hatman, CSFB and Icy stopped and looked at the igloo curiously. Then they decided to approach the igloo cautiously.

“Hey everyone in there, come out now!” Hatman said. No answer. Hatman gave the signal for CSFB to enter first. Then Hatman got down on the ground and crawled in the igloo. Icy was the last to enter. The three of them sat in a cramped space. There was no Jacuzzi, 42-inch plasma screen TV, bear skin rugs or ice troll. There was no party with gnomes or amazons, just the empty space of the igloo. It appeared that the Ice troll’s home and his guests had left the dimension and were now somewhere else.

Hatman, CSFB and Icy crawled out of the igloo. “Well that was pleasant, he’s gone now, and we hardly had to deal with that party.

“Right now, the kids can come out and just enjoy the igloo,” Icy said.

“No, no, no, no, no.” Hatman and CSFB said in unison. They told Icy it was best to destroy the igloo. Icy looked on it remorsely and sighed. Then he melted the igloo. The three of them went back into the mansion and enjoyed a quiet afternoon.

Are we sure they didn't just go back in time to the early days of the Legion? Sounds terribly familiar...

Nice story Jack.

I wasn't trying to hint at any particular amazon.