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Visionary
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Subject: Yet another "Saving the Future" snippet
Posted Tue May 27, 2008 at 07:23:56 pm EDT (Viewed 7 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
The sleek figure in red, white and blue lept off the rooftop, somersaulting through the air to bounce off a fire escape back towards the opposite side of the alleyway. There she grabbed a hanging clothesline with the intention of doing a full 360 degree rotation into a triple flip half-gainer landing in front of the collection of dangerous super villains lurking, unawares, below. Unfortunately for her well-planned choreography, the clothesline snapped, sending the patriotically garbed would-be gymnast arcing across the alley trailing mumu's and over-sized polka-dotted lingerie like some tacky polyester comet with a very un-rousing battle cry of "Eeeeeeeeep!" to land face first in the midst of the assembled scum and villainy.
"Er... Ta-da...!" Mary Pfeffercorn announced dizzily as she struggled to extricate herself from a frighteningly large set of bloomers.
"Lovely..." Grit the Granulated Man snorted. "The circus is in town."
Velcro Vixen, Appendage Man, Razor Ballerina and Clonar joined him in surrounding the woozy figure.
"Wait guys, it's just me..." the clinically insane clown woman assured them, struggling to her feet and snatching a bra off her head. "The one and only... Mary Prankstar!"
"Gee, you don't say" Velcro Vixen answered flatly, giving the new arrival the once over. "What exactly are you supposed to be dressed as? Mr. Epitome's favorite intern?"
Mary adjusted the bottom of her outfit, which in truth did little more than cover her own (and ride up considerably.) "Ha! No, it's my super-hero costume! Like it? I borrowed it from a friend of mine! Well, she's not really a friend... more like an arch nemesis... except that I only met her once, and I'm not really sure what her name is. But it's a good good-guy look, ain't it? Bit drafty though..."
"I'm sure. So you're a hero now?" the field leader of the Purveyors asked mildly.
"Well, heh... that's the scam, isn't it?" Mary grinned conspiratorially, giving Clonar a nudge in his side with her arm. "Ow" she noted, rubbing her elbow. "Anyway, I saw you all on TV in your spiffy new outfits and thought "Oooo! Oooo! I wanna play too!!!" She bounced on her toes in excitement. "I assume my invite just got lost in the mail or somethin', cause I know I move around a lot. Do you know how hard it is to find a rent controlled place in this city? I mean, it's downright criminal what they want you to pay! And then when you go and flush sticks of dynamite down your toilet and call the pushy, rent-collecting super in to fix it, suddenly *you're* the bad guy when it blows up and launches him into Edna Felderman's boudoir without his pants. I told him to pull 'em up before he started the plumbing work, but did he listen? Noooooooooooo." She scowled at the inherent unfairness of the universe. "It's not like Edna minded nursing him back to consciousness for those 45 minutes. At least, I think that's what she was nursing..."
"Buy a clue, clown" Grit growled to avoid hearing any more. "You weren't invited because you're a screw-up who would ruin it for everybody."
"Hey! I'm an alumnus! I'm a highly trained professional purveyor of... of..." She winced in effort. "Wait, I know this one... Peril!!! Yeah, that's it!! So how am *I* going to ruin it?"
Velcro Vixen snorted in contempt. "You... undercover? Please."
"What?" Mary argued hotly. "I could too do the secret identity thing... you don't know! I'm quite discreet when I wanna be! I defy you to come up with one good reason why I couldn't fool people!"
Appendage Man rolled his eyes. "You're still wearing your same mask and face paint."
"Well, this get-up didn't come with a new one" the clown-woman pouted, her arms crossed. "Besides, I figured the whole point of this particular outfit was to distract 'em with your gams." She lifted a leg to show them. "Do you know how much shaving I had to do to put this thing on? There's tape involved too, in places I don't usually approve of strip adhesive. How much more dedication to a new identity do you want?"
"What's your hero name, then?" Grit asked.
"Oh. Um.... Yeah." She screwed her face up in contemplation. "Hang on... just gimme a minute. Commando Clown? Loony Libertarian? American... er... Cheese?" She looked at the circle of villains around her. "You're going to kill me now, aren't you?"
"Killeth" Clonar agreed.
"Hey, Vickster... C'mon..." she wheedled, backing away only to find herself in the dead-end of the alley. "Is this about the time I replaced all of your birth control pills with Red-Hot Atomic Cinnamon breath mints?" Mary asked. "Cause if you step back a bit and look at it again, that was pretty funny..."
The Purveyor smiled. "You know, when you put it that way... We really should make this fun." She and the others stepped back. "I think I'm going to let you have a running start."
The red, white and blue clown girl perked up. "Really?"
"Ha! No" Velcro Vixen answered as Clonar pulled the wall of the alley down to crush their annoying would-be teammate.
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killer shrike
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Subject: Patri-nut? [Re: Visionary]
Posted Tue May 27, 2008 at 08:10:24 pm EDT (Viewed 2 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows Vista
A fun story looking at another of your cast. It seems poor Mary is on the outs with her former fellow Purveyours, though I'm at a loss to figure out why. Who doesn't enjoy a refreshing cinnamon mint?
Looking forward to seeing if Mary and Joan's tales tie together....
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Visionary
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Subject: Re: Patri-nut? [Re: killer shrike]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 12:07:22 am EDT (Viewed 1 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
> A fun story looking at another of your cast. It seems poor Mary is on the outs with her former fellow Purveyours, though I'm at a loss to figure out why. Who doesn't enjoy a refreshing cinnamon mint?
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I know! Go figure... you take over the world, and suddenly you're too good to be seen with your old buddies.
In any event, it seemed to me that the Purveyors weren't exactly playing nice with the general criminal population (though nicer than they were with the heroic population, certainly), and really... who would think that Mary could pull off a secret identity?
> Looking forward to seeing if Mary and Joan's tales tie together....
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What? She's not perfect as the new sidekick for the Silver Aegis?
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CrazySugarFreakBoy!
notes that, by "team," he means "weiner." :)
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004
Posts: 1,235
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Subject: Awww ... poor Mary. There would always be a place for a dorky doll like her on my team. [Re: Visionary]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 01:55:15 am EDT (Viewed 347 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
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Manga Shoggoth
Member Since: Fri Jan 02, 2004
Posts: 391
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Subject: Another dismal failure of Care in the Community [Re: Visionary]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 05:23:25 am EDT (Viewed 333 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows XP
.
As is always the case with my writing, please feel free to comment.
I welcome both positive and negative criticism of my work, although I cannot promise to enjoy the negative.
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HH
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Subject: Now I feel sorry for her. [Re: Visionary]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 11:26:30 am EDT (Viewed 2 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
Alas poor Mary! She's going to need some counselling.
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Hatman
Member Since: Thu Jan 01, 1970
Posts: 618
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Subject: That was mean [Re: Visionary]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 04:47:08 pm EDT (Viewed 339 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
Though I guess being supervillains, mean was probably the intent.
Hard not to feel sorry for Mary in this one. I look forward to her impromptu team-up with Alcheman to teach those brutes a lesson.
~Hat~
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Visionary
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Subject: None of them were likely picked last for softball. [Re: Hatman]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 06:39:37 pm EDT (Viewed 1 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
> Though I guess being supervillains, mean was probably the intent.
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Seems to be... They've been especially mean to a bunch of people during all of this.
>
> Hard not to feel sorry for Mary in this one. I look forward to her impromptu team-up with Alcheman to teach those brutes a lesson.
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Hey, that would be a fun pairing, wouldn't it?
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Visionary
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Subject: How bitter would Lisette be if she could read that comment coming from you? [Re: HH]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 06:52:49 pm EDT (Viewed 2 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
If you think the Hooded Hood wants to get back at the writers behind the parodyverse...
> Alas poor Mary! She's going to need some counselling.
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Or some surgery. Or maybe a coffin.
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Visionary
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Subject: I'm not sure she was doing much better in Herringcarp. [Re: Manga Shoggoth]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 07:21:07 pm EDT (Viewed 1 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
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Visionary
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Subject: You already have a psycho girl on your team... no need to collect them all. [Re: CrazySugarFreakBoy!]
Posted Wed May 28, 2008 at 07:23:02 pm EDT (Viewed 1 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
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Anime Jason 
Owner
Location: Here
Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004
Posts: 2,834
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Subject: She and Visionary have a lot in common. [Re: Visionary]
Posted Thu May 29, 2008 at 12:05:02 am EDT (Viewed 366 times) |
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anime.mangacool.net
(10.0.255.1)
using
Apple Safari 3.1.1 on MacOS X (0 points)
Except that Visionary has more people who want to kill him.
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Visionary
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Subject: Not in the gams department. [Re: Anime Jason]
Posted Thu May 29, 2008 at 07:56:23 am EDT (Viewed 1 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.14 on Windows XP
>
> Except that Visionary has more people who want to kill him.
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HH
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Subject: Could she get any bitter with me? [Re: Visionary]
Posted Thu May 29, 2008 at 01:07:42 pm EDT (Viewed 1 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> If you think the Hooded Hood wants to get back at the writers behind the parodyverse...
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"Some dark, stormy night, I think Lisette's going to escape from the confines of your stories and come looking for you..."
Post By Visionary Wed Oct 20, 2004 at 07:12:20 pm EDT
> > Alas poor Mary! She's going to need some counselling.
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> Or some surgery. Or maybe a coffin.
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I don't want to think about the uses she'd put the coffin to.
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