Had an idea to split the Lair Legion into American and European factions wayyy back in the day. Why? Well, Giffen and DeMatteis' Justice League International was awesome; might as well see what we could do with the concept. No one listened to me. So it goes. Ha.

I remember that Lisa, Nats, and maybe Vizh and Yo were on the team, but I don't appear to have written it down (or saved it if I did), and my memory's going in my young age, so I don't remember the old plans. It was going to be my second major arc in Lair Legion Chronicles from #27-40 or something. I don't think I finished #13 of that series. You see how I plan ahead. Ha again. (But let me tell you about it someday. Grand, ambitious arcs. Dark Thugos vs. the world. The New Anti-Legion. LLA/LLE/LLI. Dark Sorceress. A Hooded Hood story not written by the man himself! Madness.)

Anyway, it's a new world these days, and now I'm plumbing the depths of the Who's Who, because this question really intrigues me. Hmm.

Naturally, you'd want character whose origins (or whose creator's/poster's origins) stem from somewhere across the Atlantic. That pretty much leaves us with all the Englishmen and Yo. Hmm again. Not to mention you'd also need a base of operations, one as bizarre and intricate as Parodiopolis, but without the ten years of development we've already got. Hmmmmm.

Okay, a lineup is forming in my head. I think it'd have some very fun character dynamics. None of them are active on the board right now, but that's never stopped me before.

1. Yo - I miss the little thought-being, and dashing across Europe in a Zorro outfit just seems right to me.

2. dull thud, because he's a Scot, and he's damn fun to write, so why the heck not. Cressida too, of course.

3. A returned Nats (and therefore Uhuna) - Well, because people have been asking, and a guy who can fly pretty fast won't mind hopping over the pond to hang out with some old pals. He would probably be looking for a change of pace, anyway. Plus, it turns out he's super-popular in Germany. No one knows why.

4. De Brown Streak - 'cause, hey, a speedster can jet to and fro across the ocean, too, and there'd be some drama to play with now that Nats and Uhuna are back in the picture.

5. Messenger - But a new one, I think, a female, secretly working as an agent of the Vatican, and yes, I just made all this up but it sounds neat in my head. I'm sure the Pope can turn out to be some cosmic entity or something in due time.

6. Xander the Improbable - About time he showed up again, and he never did join the LL before. If he's not available, put in a call to his cousin, Anaxamander the Impossible, if you must. He does a lot of standing around and sipping tea and delivering ominous portents disguised as pithy quips.

7. Elsqueevio, Greek god of small waters. No? I think it'd be funny.

8. We need more ladies. Um... Dancer? The Contessa? Do we have a Crimson Fox-esque figure?

It certainly isn't perfect, but it's a start. I kinda wanna write this now, damn you all. I haven't even been to bloody Europe...

The problem with American comics' European or other non-US geographical teams is that they always fall into one of two errors. Either the team is comprised of characters that can be "spared" from the parent American team (often Americans) or who have some vague kind of overseas link, or the team if filled up with charatcers themed on caricatures of a national identity.

By that latter I mean it would be like designing an American team with the line up of Captain America, Bald Eagle, Slapburger, SuperOprah, Ugly Tourist, Valley Girl, CIAgent, Californication Queen, Indian Brave, Wetback, and the Paunch.

That all said, I'd put a European team togehter as follows:

Mumphrey - he's got to be associated somewhere, if only to grumble that he doesn't like Europe.

Dancer - she's had plenty of relations whith Europe, and she's Anglo-Irish

dull thud & Cressida - Scotland almost counts a a country.

Angry-Screaming-On-the-Internet Kid from Germany

An Italian gangster robot from Shrike's Camorra Machina

Chocolat, surviving teen sidekick of the Belgian Waffle Five

Captain Mud - okay, Candia's not part of Europe, but it's got its cultural roots in Eastern Europe and it has approrpiate pverty levels

Gromm, the Living Flatulence - just because

Also I'd steal Nats' Messenger idea.

I just finished rereading the entire Giffen JLA/JLI run, and by next week I'm going to start on JLE/JLI. Other than Justice League Task Force and an annual or two I have the entire JLA/JLI/JLE era of Justice League (e-bay is a harsh mistress)



I like it, especially the inclusion of Elsqueevio.

Your line-up is pretty similar to the one I was thinking of. After giving it some thought, and trying to make it kind of different from yours...

Dancer
Manga Shoggoth (he can be on both teams at once)
Captain Courageous
Alcheman
Yo
dull thud
Sorceress
Sir Mumphrey - not always active on the field team, more of an advisory member
ManMan - Not an active member, but the team handyman (kind of like Kilowog was, only with less effectiveness and more comedy)

~Hat~

Here's how you do it, with a team of REAL American stereotype super-types:

Talking Point - Bill O'Reilly as Hawkeye. A mouthy right-wing pundit who's an expert marksman, and uses his patently inaccurate, needlessly outraged commentary (and ventriloquism) to draw out, distract and disorient his targets, making them easier kills for his sniper-fire.

Firecrotch - A spoiled, slutty, substance-abusing red-haired celebutante whose venereal diseases are literally scalding, and whose party-girl lifestyle has given her Wolverine healing factor levels of immunity to toxins. And just as Chunk in The Flash could get rid of people or objects by eating them, so too can Firecrotch dispose of such things by shoving them in her Twat of Holding.

Fast Foodie - The world's fastest fat-ass, he can only survive on a steady stream of drive-thru meals and junk food, and his extra mass combined with his speed give his blows enormous force. Unfortunately, his diet has left his skin a ghastly pale white, except for his lips and nose, which are now the same unnatural shade of red as his curly, poofy hair, thanks to malnutrition on a massive scale.

Blue Collar and Red Neck - Brothers with psychic powers that balance each other out. Blue Collar can project "blue collars" of psychic energy that render their victims ignorant, non-inquisitive and easily manipulated by their own sloth and gluttony, while Red Neck projects an infectious intolerance, signified by a reddening of the neck, which preys upon its victims' fears and hatreds. The easily distracted Blue Collar's Kryptonite is Satellite TV (he's incapable of rolling saving throws against NASCAR), while Red Neck flees in terror from any sign of homosexuality.

The Wigger - With his arsenal of specially designed ethnic wigs, this sheltered suburban white boy can appropriate any non-Caucasian culture as his own! In spite of his acts being patently transparent, he somehow has the power to pass himself off as a racial minority, while still enjoying all the privileges of an entitled white male.

The Springer - A daytime talk-show host whose name has a dual meaning, both for his ability to spring emotionally devastating surprises on his targets, including unsuspecting guests on his show, as well as his spring-loaded limbs, which allow him to leap clear of danger when his emotionally devastated targets turn their outrage against him.

See, THIS is how you dissect a nation's trends.

Actually, I think your list is how an American might go about satirising a national team of their own, but it requires a shade too much self-aware understanding of your nation's faults to be a proper roster created by a non-American trying to catch your stereotypical culture.

Taking this from another tack, we could always expect the American superhero team to include popular American heroes: Uncle Sam, Superman, Mickey Mouse, Buffy, Fox Mulder, Elvis, and O.J. Simpson.

Buffy, Mulder, and OJ aren't really all that popular. Maybe:


Oprah Winfrey
Walker, Texas Ranger
LeBron James


and I'd replace Mickey with Bugs Bunny because I hate that squeaky little f*****.

Then I'd say LeBron James is a stretch as well, as outside of basketball he's a no-name. The majority of women I know would likely have no clue who he was. Hell, *I* had to look up what team he plays for, as I don't give a rat's ass about basketball. (Go Pistons though. And Red Wings in hockey.)

I think if a dead guy like Elvis can be considered, then you have to go with a classic sports star whose name everyone would recognize, be it Babe Ruth, Mohammad Ali, or possibly Michael Jordon. If it's going to be a currently active sports star, I'd say Tiger Woods is the biggest name out there right now. My Grandmothers both know who Tiger Woods is.

I won't argue the Walker, Texas Ranger selection, as I think that one's funny, and he at least had his show named after him.

Lebron led the team that kept your Pistons out of the Finals last year. You probably should have known who the Cavs were.

I originally was going to put Jordan, but went with Lebron because he's more recent and has a great deal of widespread appeal despite not winning a championship. Basketball is nowhere as big a sport as it was in the Jordan years (at least in the US, in the world its a different story), so the fact he stars in a multitude of commercials and hosts SNL is pretty impressive, to me.

I didn't go with Tiger Woods because of my bias against golf.

EDIT: Peyton Manning could have been another choice, but I wanted to continue using the slot for an African American, which is tokenism, I know.



Your analogy fails because it depends on the assumption that Elvis is indeed dead.




A cowboy character needs to be on the roster someplace, and like Mulder he was a lead character of a no longer around TV show with a cult following (though Walker I think had broader appeal).

This goes back to my distinction between the icons an American native might pick and those a European might think of.

I had no idea who LeBron James was until I read this thread. Even famous American sports personalities aren't that universally known overseas. Babe Ruth and Meadowlark Lemon don't play soccer. If you want the best known American sportsman you'd have to field Mohammed Ali.

As for Walker, while those showed aired in thr UK and Europe they weren't particularly significant. If we're looking for TV series heroes to add to the list then the team has to include Captain Kirk, Kojak, and the Lone Ranger - and maybe KITT.

A fair point. I'd take it more to heart if I could name a single player on the Pistons these days. Living outside of Michigan hurts in those regards.

I see both the Pistons and the Red Wings are on TV right now, though.



It is, but I don't think he's transcended his sport yet the way Jordan has.



Understandable. I don't understand watching golf.



I think sports celebrities need to withstand the test of time to prove they're not simply the flavor of the moment. Bo Jackson had a lot going for him as well, but I think a lot of people outside of sports bars now need prodding to remember him... Lebron and Peyton might someday be in the same boat.



Sure, in regards to Elvis. However, though Jordan may be dead on the inside based on his performances in those underwear commercials, otherwise I think he's still counted among the living.



From what I could find online, it seems like the X-files had the higher ratings at the height of its popularity, compared to the height of Walker... however, that doesn't count later syndication, so who knows how it ultimately shakes down.

Still, people who have heard of the X-Files can easily not know who Mulder was, while Walker is recognizable to anyone who knows the show existed.

Not a very smart move by the NHL if they want to attract the casual fan in the US



Oh, definitely. But when you consider he's only 23 years old, he's still got plenty of time to build his resume.





Unless Ted Knight and Bill Murray are involved.



Peyton is pretty much established himself as one of the best of all time. Even if he doesn't manage to win another Super Bowl and just pads his stats to the point where he surpasses Favre (who could have been another guy on the list, come to think of it).



The one who should feel dead inside because of those commercials is OSCAR WINNER Cuba Gooding Jr.



> Still, people who have heard of the X-Files can easily not know who Mulder was, while Walker is recognizable to anyone who knows the show existed.


Plus you have the enitre "Chuck Norris facts" meme.