“If you want to beg,” the Scarlet Lawnmower told the kids he’d surrounded with whirling psychic blades, “now is the time.”

“Will that help us,” asked Salieri Meng in a small voice.

“He’s just toying with us,” Sam spat. “Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

“Ooh, a tough cookie,” sneered the Lawnmower. “I love those. A tough cookie who doesn’t need her face any more.”

Sam braced herself and closed her eyes as the blades whirred closer.

The hurled fire extinguisher caught the Scarlet Lawnmower on the back of his skull and he folded like a house of cards.

“What?” demanded Salieri Meng, blinking in surprise at the sudden turn. “Who?”

“Guess that would be me,” said Doorman, appearing beside the downed Legionnaire. “I’ve been waiting a long time to do that, but the moment seemed right.”

“Jay?” Samantha gasped. “Jay Boaz!”

“Yeah,” agreed Doorman, blankly. “So?”

“So you’re Hatman!”

“No, I’m Doorman. But I think I’ve just handed in my resignation. I couldn’t just stand by and watch you two kids get cut to bits. Now let’s get out of here.”

Samantha realised that in this reality Jay had never been exposed to Serious Matter, never gained the powers of the Capped Crusader. The Moderator only kept him around for gloating purposes.

And Jay had still just saved their lives.

“Let’s go then,” Sam said. “We have a mass execution to stop and a world to save.”

Jay stopped abruptly. “We do?”

Samantha took his arm. “We do, Mr Boaz. It’s going to be tough. But I have faith in you!”

* * * * *

    Doorman looked over the jeans, t-shirt, and red cape he had donned at Samantha’s request. “This is supposed to be a superhero costume?” he asked incredulously.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, you designed it,” scoffed Salieri. He finished punching in a few final keystrokes before turning away from the computer. “CSFB! and his team should be here momentarily.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Is that supposed to be a superhero costume?” came a gruff voice from the doorway. CrazySugarFreakBoy!, Killer Shrike, Gamma Ray Gary, D’ur Accell, Gamona, and Velcro Vixen.

    Salieri looked smugly over at Samantha. “Literally.”

    Samantha stuck her tongue out at him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He looks kinda familiar,” said CSFB!, sizing up the capped crusader before him. “How do we know he’s not still working for The Moderator?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“How do we know you aren’t, FlunkyBoy…?” responded Doorman.

    Shrike indicated CSFB!’s new arm. “I’d say he’s on the up and up.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“In the Parodyverse proper this is the leader of the Lair Legion,” Samantha began to explain. Salieri could see the urge to attack on the New Purveryors of Perils face.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Whoa, time out!” he called, jumping in between. “The old Lair Legion, not the New one. He’s here to help.”

    CSFB! sized him up warily, but decided to trust the boy genius’ opinion. “Word over my Eerie Earring is Iowa’s the place we need to be. They’re taking April there right now, along with a bunch of other prisoners. Some kind of Death Camp.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“If we are to save those people we should make haste,” pointed out the massive Equinite.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I have a few things I’ll need from the Lair Mansion. I’ll catch up,” Doorman promised. “Can you pick me up in about two hours? he asked D’ur Acell.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sure, no problem,” agreed the Yellow Flashlight.

    As the group separated Samantha couldn’t help but be bothered by something.

    Had she told Hatman about the Lair Mansion?

* * * * *

“Did I displease you?” Jay said, to the tune of Liu Xi’s heart sinking to new depths of sadness. “Did I comply with all your wishes, Wife of The Moderator? Please tell me I did, The Moderator will punish me if I didn’t make you happy!”


Liu Xi growled as she wrenched free of his grip and stormed out of the room, headed back to her own room to hide. As she ran, she fought tears grown from despair and horror as she began to feel the hopelessness of her situation, added to the hopelessness The Moderator spread around him.


After she left, Jay looked at the cap, staring at it as if something was vaguely familiar about it. He then put it back on his nightstand and headed to work as the Doorman. But deep within his mind, the seeds had been sewn.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yellow Flashlight Express, all aboard!” called D’ur as he landed beside Jay. “Ready to go?”

    Doorman reached into his bag and pulled out an ebony coloured handgun. He turned to D’ur and fired three shots directly into the Flashlights skull.

    The alien fell down, unmoving, thick orange blood seeping from the hole in his head.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Did you fools really think The Moderator would be stupid enough to leave Hatman in this reality where he could upset his plans?” Doorman kicked the cooling body of D’ur Acell. “No, the champion of order from the Parodyverse proper will not be found in this reality.”

    Doorman attached his red cape to his shirt. “I’m the only Jay Boaz in this dimension. And once I let The Moderator and the Lair Legion annihilate each other, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces and rule the Parodyverse myself!”

    The champion of Destruction accessed the Demolition Matter implanted in his mind and used his ability to link any two doorways together to step through to the Iowa Death Camp to await the arrival of his newfound “comrades”.

    As he left D’ur Acell to die, he allowed himself to consider the seed Liu Xi had awoken within him after their encounter. Yup, I do like ‘em young. he chuckled to himself.

To be continued

Interesting twist there, I actually had to read it several times. At first I thought it was one of those replacement things where the Jay Boaz at the mansion was actually some shape-shifting replacement. But instead it's actually an evil Jay, forged by the altered universe...I think.

Or what might be interesting is that Liu Xi created this evil Jay Boaz somehow. That's something she wouldn't be too happy about.

Either way, this brings up the writer's notes from my story post: Will the real Jay Boaz remember anything that's happened? If not, he can count himself lucky, but then he might find it difficult to resume his friendship with Liu Xi, both because of what she did and how he behaved (and the same goes for others).

.

It is an alternate universe Jay, not someone posing as one.

I wasn't aware that Liu Xi could create life. No, he's just an alternate universe version.


Real-Hatman won't remember anything that Doorman does because Doorman is an entirely different individual. Hatman has been taken out of the Moderator's universe entirely; he won't know anything about the Moderator Saga until he's filled in.

~Hat~

...it's a new character.

~Hat~

 

Not creating life, just "unlocking" the evil Jay Boaz.  As in he might have stayed the meek Doorman if Liu Xi hadn't tried so hard to convince him that he's Hatman.

 

Unless Real-Hatman is imprisoned somewhere...again...and the Real Lair Legion is stuck with Evil Hatman until they figure it out.

>  
> > > Or what might be interesting is that Liu Xi created this evil Jay Boaz somehow. That's something she wouldn't be too happy about.
> > >
> >
> > I wasn't aware that Liu Xi could create life. No, he's just an alternate universe version.
> Not creating life, just "unlocking" the evil Jay Boaz.  As in he might have stayed the meek Doorman if Liu Xi hadn't tried so hard to convince him that he's Hatman.
>  
 
I think she got used and Doorman knew what he was doing all along.

> > > Either way, this brings up the writer's notes from my story post: Will the real Jay Boaz remember anything that's happened? If not, he can count himself lucky, but then he might find it difficult to resume his friendship with Liu Xi, both because of what she did and how he behaved (and the same goes for others).
> >
> > Real-Hatman won't remember anything that Doorman does because Doorman is an entirely different individual. Hatman has been taken out of the Moderator's universe entirely; he won't know anything about the Moderator Saga until he's filled in.
>
> Unless Real-Hatman is imprisoned somewhere...again...and the Real Lair Legion is stuck with Evil Hatman until they figure it out.
>
 
I don't know if Hat is imprisoned somewhere, but if Doorman says he isn't in this reality, I'd be inclined to believe him.  He's an evil version of Jay, so he still has the drive, skills, and methodology of Hatty.  He would know the threat of having Hatman around and did his due research to ensure he wasn't around.
 
They are stuck with him until the Purveyors figure it out I'd imagine though.
 
~Hat~

At least she's not to blame for it, then.

 

I wonder if he'll treat Liu Xi well while pretending to be "Real-Hatman" to both keep the Lair Legion from getting suspicious, and to protect himself - he might think Liu Xi will stand up for him if the Lair Legion turns on him.

Of course that depends on how the balance of Evil vs Intelligence goes.  If he's more Evil, he'd treat Liu Xi badly first and not care if that makes Yuki suspicious.

  

Purveyors?  Isn't the Hooded Hood dead?

>
> > > Not creating life, just "unlocking" the evil Jay Boaz.  As in he might have stayed the meek Doorman if Liu Xi hadn't tried so hard to convince him that he's Hatman.
> > >  
> >  
> > I think she got used and Doorman knew what he was doing all along.
> At least she's not to blame for it, then.
>  
 
Nope, she's clear in that regard.

> > > Unless Real-Hatman is imprisoned somewhere...again...and the Real Lair Legion is stuck with Evil Hatman until they figure it out.
> > >
> >  
> > I don't know if Hat is imprisoned somewhere, but if Doorman says he isn't in this reality, I'd be inclined to believe him.  He's an evil version of Jay, so he still has the drive, skills, and methodology of Hatty.  He would know the threat of having Hatman around and did his due research to ensure he wasn't around.
> I wonder if he'll treat Liu Xi well while pretending to be "Real-Hatman" to both keep the Lair Legion from getting suspicious, and to protect himself - he might think Liu Xi will stand up for him if the Lair Legion turns on him.
> Of course that depends on how the balance of Evil vs Intelligence goes.  If he's more Evil, he'd treat Liu Xi badly first and not care if that makes Yuki suspicious.
>   
 
I think he realizes it's to his advantage to play nice until it's time to make his move.

> > They are stuck with him until the Purveyors figure it out I'd imagine though.
>
> Purveyors?  Isn't the Hooded Hood dead?
>
CSFB! is assembling a team to take down the Moderator, but he thinks he's a "black hat" so he's not putting together a scratch team of Legionnaires, but rather a scratch team of Purveryors.  If I understand it correctly.
 
~Hat~

Well, Doorman is a sleaze. Where did his mother go so wrong, I wonder?

A fine addition to the intricate chess game going on. It'll be interesting to see how the rest of the team gets tipped off... and if D'ur pulls through, at least when the universe resets.

It sounds about right. As I understand things, the characters fall into these catagories:

Legionnaires and others who have had their lives altered by HH's retcon. People like CSFB, Vizh/Functionary, and so on. This makes up the vast majority of the population of the world... they don't really remember what the Universe used to be like, although some of them have an inkling that the current state of things is wrong. It's assumed that if things are fixed, they'll revert back to the way they used to be (though whether they'll remember this adventure is unknown.)

The Moderators "Gatherers" (for lack of a better term): Before HH's retcon, The Moderator had assembled a team of "heroes" plucked from various alternate realities. The Scarlet Lawnmower, Link, Helen McAllistair, Doorman, etc. It's assumed that HH's retcon didn't change their personalities or their histories, aside from making them suddenly the premiere heroes on Earth.

Those "outside" of HH's retcon, such as Lara, Lui Xi, Mumphrey, Samantha, Lisa, Chronicler, etc. These characters haven't been changed by any of this, and still remember what the Parodyverse is "supposed" to be like.

There may be another group... characters that didn't exist before HH's retcon (or were dead in regular continuity). This may include Brap and Salieri, and who knows how many others. If the retcon is undone, it's possible that they may no longer exist.

Does that seem about right to everyone?

If I haven't mentioned why I took the path I did with my characters: It's because Faite hates world dictators. She doesn't have the power to destroy them, however, so she does everything she can to stab them in the eye. Especially by resurrecting those who can do it for her even better. And since she's an aberration in the Parodyverse, she's generally doomed not to be affected by anything that attempts to change it.

In the first story I posted, Chiaki recounted challenging The Moderator to a fair fight. He cheated, and now she thinks he's a coward who deserves to fail. Even if she has to make it happen herself.

Liu Xi was chosen by Faite because of her ability to escape and survive. And because she had no purpose in The Moderator's universe, she would have been deleted.

Lara of course wasn't even in the Parodyverse when it changed, so she wasn't affected.

Anna was chosen because Yuki is a loose cannon by herself. She needed to be disabled upon resurrection so she wouldn't go straight after The Moderator, and Anna is the only one besides Al B Harper who can repair her.

It's all linked.

Considering he's an evil bastard who used her for sex I'd hope she wouldn't want to protect him. 


How old is Liu Xi?


You'd have to ask Kirk.

~Hat~

Then I feel sorry for her when he turns on her.



Hatman's 24, turning 25 this year, so I think the young comment applies.  CSFB! is permanently 23 I think (since Dream doesn't age but Hatman ages in real time he's passed him somehow )  And besides, we don't know how old Doorman is; he could be older.

~Hat~

 

I was actually planning on D'ur being alive in THIS reality (the beauty of writing alien characters, gun shots to the head aren't necessarily lethal) but it's not a problem. I do believe he will be back when the PV gets returned to it's proper state.

~Hat~