Dancer and Cinderbelle found themselves in the Lair Mansion, but the old house had seen better days. It looked like a small war had occurred in the venerable building; there were holes in the walls, the carpet had been torn and burned, and there was nary an intact piece of furniture to be found.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I already told you I don’t do nightmares,” Cinderbelle warned as she and Dancer carefully picked their way through the rubble.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, I’m not exactly an experienced tour guide of the subconscious,” Dancer reminded the fairy. The sounds of battle outside on the lawn interrupted them. “C’mon!”

    Dancer broke into a sprint to see what the commotion was. Cinderbelle decided she didn’t want to be caught alone by whatever had destroyed the Lair Mansion and quickly gave chase.

    The pair burst through the exit to see Hatman locked in battle with the Parody Master. Suspended in force shackles behind them were Zdenka Zarazoa, Whitney Darkness, and Grace O’Mercy.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dancer, what are you doing here? Get out while you still can!” Hatman cried desperately as he grappled with the Parody Master in his Steelers form. He grunted in pain as the Parody Master forced him to his knees.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I see you have brought me more of your women! Excellent!” hissed the Parody Master.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Never!” shouted Hatman. He managed to push the Parody Master back before switching to his Avalance cap. The ground beneath the PM shook and knocked him off balance.

    Dancer looked ready to rush into the fray when Cinderbelle stopped her. “We’ve been over this! We can die here! What can you hope to do against him?” Cinderbelle was very aware of what the Parody Master had been capable of, and in this dream he was as powerful as Hatman believed him to be.

    Dancer paused, as she hadn’t thought that part out. Before she could answer a gleaming white car with three occupants ran down the Parody Master.

    Donar slapped the Gjarlentroll on the back. “Verily, I doth be impressed at thy mastery at piloting yon conveyance!”

    The troll grunted in reply, but looked sharp in the sunglasses, white scarf and driving gloves.

    Al sat with his arms crossed in the back. “I still say I should have at least gotten shotgun.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Donar! Al! Parody Master at 3 o’clock!” Dancer cried out.

    Before the Legionnaires could react they were all caught in shackles of pure force, Hatman included. “Now then, Hatman, the choice.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh no,” murmured Dancer.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What?” What choice?” Cinderbelle was confused.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He’s going to make him choose between the women he’s been…close with,” explained Dancer. Beside her Donar struggled with his bonds. Al B knew better than to waste his strength.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I won’t choose!” shouted Hatman defiantly. “You’ll have to kill me first!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, I will kill you,” assured the Parody Master. “But you will have to watch me defile, torture, and utterly destroy your females first.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Foul miscreant!” shouted Donar. “I challenge thee to single combat, villain! Let these innocents free and face the wrath of the Oldmanson!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“The misguided attempt to play on my non-existent sense of honour,” chuckled the PM. “No, little godling, I do not think so. Hatman must choose.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hatty, this isn’t real, it’s a dream! You can stop him!” Dancer told Hatman quickly.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“It is your subconscious giving him power,” Cinderbelle added helpfully. “So unless you stop him it’s almost like committing suicide. EXCEPT YOU TAKE US ALL WITH YOU!!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“She doesn’t handle stress well,” added Dancer.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Choose now! The witch, the bitch, or the vampire!” commanded the Parody Master.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yuki II, passcode Alpha Trion, authorization Al B. Hasbro!” Al called to his car.

    Even the Parody Master was taken by surprise when the car began making 80’s sound effects and transformed into a humanoid robot. Yuki looked at her newly revealed hands and would have smiled if she didn’t have a faceplate for a mouth. “Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!”

    Al looked over to his fellow captives. “We made some upgrades on the way here.”

    Yuki slammed into the Parody Master, ruffling his concentration enough that the force shackles gave way. Hatman was on the Parody Master in an instant, his Titans cap fastened to his head. Donar was right behind him.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“We have to get out of here!” Cinderbelle pleaded with Dancer. “While they hold him off, we have to go!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What about Whitney, Zdenka, and Grace?” asked Dancer.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“They are dream constructs, not the actual essences of their real-world counterparts. They are not in any real danger,” Cinderbelle explained.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And Hatty? What about him?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“He is the only one here who cannot die. You cannot die in your own dream. You will wake up first.” A look of horror came over Cinderbelle’s face. “And when he wakes up, we will be lost forever if we’re still here!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“So if we skedaddle, Hatty should wake up and be fine.” Dancer considered her LL Communicard. “If I call in the team to help they might leave Mumphrey’s dream too soon.”

    Yuki, Donar, and Hatman continued to battle the Parody Master while Dancer and Cinderbelle conversed. Then Dancer had an idea.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey Hatty, who am I?” Dancer asked the Capped Crusader.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What?! Dancer, I’m a little busy here!” Hatman shouted back as he slammed a fist into the Parody Master’s face. Dancer heard a loud crack but she wasn’t sure if it was the Parody Master’s helmet or Hatman’s hand.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“And what can I do? What are my powers?” she prompted.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dancer, I don’t have time for-“

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Just answer the question!”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“You manipulate probabilities, so if you want to stop standing around and start dancing up some favourable odds here I’d appreciate it!” he yelled.

    Dancer felt a familiar tingle as her probability altering powers returned. “Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!”

    Dancer leaped into the fray, improbably avoiding the Parody Master’s lunge. “Donar, think you could call us up some friends to help Hatty? They have to come from his dream’s, not real world counterparts.”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“In truth I know not, lady Dancer,” Donar said. “It would seem rather improbable.”

    Dancer grinned. “That’s what I like to hear. Rustle us up some help Donar, then we can get on our way!”

    Donar spun his enchanted baseball hat above his head, and at his command a portal opened. Gamma Ray Gary, D’ur Acell, and Premiere fell through the portal.

    Dancer blushed a little. “I guess I had a bit of input into who came through.” She pointed at the Parody Master and spoke to the new arrivals. “Bad guy is that way guys!”

    Dancer longed to say more to Premiere, but the hero paid her no extra attention as he launched himself at the Parody Master. Cinderbelle could tell that Dancer was saddened at his lack of attention.

    Al B laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Remember, that’s not Premiere, it’s Hatty’s version of him. Hatman is all business in battle; he’s not going to consider your previous relationship with him right now, hence Premiere didn’t notice you.”

    Dancer nodded, then squared her shoulders to bark out more orders. “Yuki, Donar, pull out of there! We’ve got to go!” It pained her to leave Hatman behind, but the longer the battle raged the greater the chance he would wake up.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“What of Zebulon?” asked Cinderbelle. “What if he’s here?”

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t think Hatty would have had a chance to see him, considering his situation,” commented Al. “Besides, I didn’t find any trace of him with this scanner I whipped up.” Al held up his modified Communicard.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hatty! Once you wake up, feel free to put on your sleeping cap and come find us!” Dancer called to him as Yuki transformed back into a car. Out of nowhere the Gjarlentroll reappeared to hop in the driver’s seat.

    As much as it pained her and her companions to leave Hatman behind, they had no choice. Already the landscape was narrowing to the battle at hand, indicating that Hatman was getting close to waking up.

    Ã¢â‚¬Å“Punch it Chewie!” cheered Dancer as the group drove away from the fading dream onto their next destination.
    

LOL! Love it.

For something you threw together it was very enjoyable.

Al B.

Good stuff. I liked the transforming car bit and the dream logic involved in thwarting the "Parody Master." Seems as though our fearless leader might be going through some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I wonder if there will be any repercussions?

The Psychic Samurai was "close" but not Liu Xi or Lara. The latter two have only gotten as close as friends.

How excellent to see you've returned to dive headlong into a round robin! Dancer naturally hit upon a fun theme for tie-ins, and people have really be running with it. Yours offers some telling bits of Hatty's sense of responsibility and personal demons... Even after winning, he's still struggling with the ghosts of the Parody War.

Here's hoping he sometimes dreams he gets the girl... or girls...

So far, the dreams break down like this:

Lucid and/or coherent dreams/nightmares: Magweed, Mumphrey, Hatman

Flights of Fancy: Griffin, Al B. Harper

More shifting stream of Consciousness: CrazySugarFreakBoy!

And, um... "pleasurable" dreams: Dancer, Kerry, Flapjack (and I suppose Donar, although his pleasures were of a simpler sort.)