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Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood
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Subject: The Compound: Part One – Gathered - A Hallowe'en story for the Parodyverse Posted Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 09:28:11 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
The Compound: Part One – Gathered A Hallowe’en story for the Parodyverse
Existing oil reserves are predicted to last for anything from twenty-five to sixty years, with significant shortages manifesting well before the end of that projected period. While this will have a short-term benefit for oil importers and refiners there is significant long-term risk unless other reliable energy sources are discovered.
The attached proposal posits an entirely new energy source based upon my own research and that of industry leaders. For a relatively low capital outlay – a suitable research site, access to appropriate technology, trained personnel, and the other items outlined in Annex B, and at a nominal cost of around $0.7bn over a two year schedule – it should be possible to develop such a source to bring about a new tomorrow.
Annex C outlines the risk/cost benefit and demonstrates that the project, while controversial and requiring a range of unconventional techniques, is almost completely safe.
Except from Summary of a Research Proposal by Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat
***
Alto Tumour’s Second Hand Occult Books and Postcards store was a dingy little walk-in on Ditko and Ploog on the seedy Hogan side of Gothametropolis’ urban centre. Most of the street lights weren’t working and the shop itself was dusty and gloomy. It smelled of joss sticks and ganja and too many curries from the Indian take away next door. Great uncatalogued stacks of grimoires and pamphlets were piled on and beside shelves from floor to ceiling. There was a rack of curses by the door.
Arnie J. Armbruster had to push quite hard to get inside because the door stuck, and he had to step over the wino sleeping outside. He took a look around the dim cluttered store and muttered, “Wow, and I thought my office sucked.â€Â
The store owner looked up from a copy of The Alko Tabloid (with the interesting engravings on page three) and stared at Arnie over grubby half-moon spectacles. “Yeah?â€Â
“Vincent De Soth?†Arnie asked cautiously. “Aura cleansing and spiritual renovation?â€Â
Alto Tumour lost interest again. “In the alcove behind the pile of crap over there,†he pointed. “Tell that bum he still owes me rent.â€Â
Arnie nodded, but persisted. “Could you be specific about which pile of crap, exactly?†he asked.
With some more terse and unfriendly directions from the proprietor, A.J.A was able to climb over a fallen tower of Victorian spiritualist treaties and around a hundred different paperbacks on crystal healing and find the little space beneath the rickety stairs to the upper floor. A very young man with long brown hair looked up from his PC and regarded the visitor hopefully. “Yes?†he asked helpfully. “Oh, hold on… I have a name badge here somewhere!â€Â
Arnie waited as the young man shuffled through the pile of paperwork overflowing from his cheap wobbly desk.
“I know it’s here somewhere,†Vincent De Soth sighed in defeat at last. “It was a really good badge too. It said ‘Hello, My Name Is Vinny De Soth. How May I Raise Your Spirits?’â€Â
“Shame I missed that then.â€Â
“Yeah. And it cost me $3 to have it laminated. Damn.†The young man became aware that a potential client was looking at him a little bit oddly. Again. “Er, sit down,†he offered. Then, counting the number of chairs available in the crowded corner he called his office he quickly got up and pushed his own seat to the visitor. “Be careful because one of the castors is a little bit loose.â€Â
A.J.A seated himself cautiously. He ventured a glance at the computer screen, which seemed to be filled with e-mails from people wanting remote tarot readings. “You’re Vincent De Soth, then,†he confirmed.
“Vinny. Call me Vinny. Only my father calls me Vincent. Well, used to. He doesn’t call me now. Or he calls me Blockhead. Or Ineffectual Disappointment.
“Okay.â€Â
Vinny became aware that he was giving far too much information. “So, er, how may I minister to your spiritual-stroke-psychological-stroke-karmic needs, mister…?â€Â
Prompted at last, Arnie remembered his business card. “Oh yeah. Arnie J. Armbruster, Attorney at Law. And private investigator. And sometimes wedding minister.†He held up a crumpled rectangle for Vinny to see.
Vinny tried not to recoil from the cloud of alcohol fumes surrounding what he hoped would be his client. “Welcome, Mr Armbruster. Did you need your aura cleaning? Or maybe your kidneys?â€Â
Arnie looked around him at the little rack of pamphlets: Jinx Removal and Cosmic Rebalancing; Psychic Questing and Lifestyle Development; Discounted Exorcism Rates; Feng Shui Cookery Consultation; Hygienic Poltergeist Removal; Celestial Planar Alignment Predictions and Elementary Precautions. “So you’re a psychic, right?â€Â
Vinny winced. “Well, psychic is a very misused word,†he suggested.
“Cause I need to hire a psychic.â€Â
“But in layman’s terms that’s a very good description of me, yes,†Vinny concluded quickly. “Do you need help casting out the malign psychic entities that drive you to habitual abuse of alcohol?â€Â
“You leave my malign psychic entities alone,†A.J.A. growled. “Without the habitual abuse of alcohol what is life anyway?â€Â
“Okay, sorry. I just… You have a very odd karma. In a good way, of course. I’m not judging.â€Â
Arnie sighed. “Look kid, I’m just doing my job. I was hired to find some psychic to go investigate some kind of problem that I don’t even want to know about. I’ve dragged this on as long as the per diem’s gonna allow it, so now I need to find the goods. My old buddy Mystic Marv’s up and vanished, Xander the Improbable is way out of town, and that Sorceress woman threatened to turn me into… well, that doesn’t matter. So I checked the phone book and, well, you looked cheap.â€Â
“I am,†Vinny promised him. “Er, that is, inexpensive. Inexpensive but good. Satisfaction guaranteed. Well, when I say guaranteed I mean guaranteed except for you ever getting your money back.†He took a deep breath and managed a shallow smile. “Did I mention that there’s a ten percent discount for cash up front?â€Â
***
The Bell 206 luxury helicopter set down on the roof of the ZOXXON Oil Corporation building in Dallas and the flight crew helped Vinny De Soth down onto the landing pad.
“Thanks again,†the young exorcist told them. “And sorry about puking on your leather seats. I’m usually really good at flying. I sat on my first dragon when I was three. But I’m not so good at the technological flight stuff, I guess.â€Â
“Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
“Thanks for the brown bag to breathe into too. That was thoughtful.â€Â
“Not at all, sir. I believe they’re waiting for you in the reception lounge.â€Â
Vinny nodded, handed the brown bag back, and hurried away from the rotor turbulence into the glass-walled opulence of the penthouse suite.
“Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
“Anything you say. Really.†Vinny trailed after the young woman like a dog following a bone.
Montgomery Hole’s office covered the entire 116th floor of the skyscraper, and was the biggest indoor space Vinny had ever seen that wasn’t a mall, a basketball court, or a mystically-folded n-space. At one end, framed by a plate glass wall looking out over urban Dallas, was a twelve-foot long desk that was utterly clear except for a nameplate that said: Vice-President (Alternative Projects Resolution). It took Vinny a few moments to realise that there was a man sat behind the desk, and a woman sat opposite him.
“Mr De Soth,†Montgomery Hole called, rising up to offer a handshake. “Thanks for coming. I know your father.â€Â
“Ah. Shall I go now, then?â€Â
Monty Hole blinked. “Sorry? What?â€Â
The woman lounging in the executive chair looked up to translate. “What Vincent De Soth means is that he’s estranged from his family of prominent and somewhat sinister paranormal practitioners, and had a rather catastrophic fall-out with his father Asteroth De Soth on the question of active participation in the recent Parody War.â€Â
“On the said against the Parody Master,†Vinny clarified anxiously.
The woman went on, turning to the exorcist. “What Mr Hole means is that he is an outer circle member of the Heck-Fire Club where your father is active, and that his father and your father are occasional business associates. Can we get on, now? I’m only helping out your corrupt grasping arrogant mega-corp because you agreed to halt the oil drilling in Marie Hynd Land that’s wiping out the king penguin. I don’t have all week.â€Â
“Very soon, Ms Gahagan. We’re just expecting one more set of arrivals,†Monty answered, trying to placate the impatient woman. “My old college buddies, actually. Sure, we’ve grown apart over the years, but when the chips are down…â€Â
“Al B. Harper won’t be coming,†the woman interrupted him. “Don’t you watch the news? That business with the elevator murder? The Hatman/CSFB! footage? The nuns?â€Â
“Um, I didn’t get to hear the news on the flight down,†admitted Vinny apologetically. “There was this brown paper bag and…â€Â
“It doesn’t matter,†Letitia Gahagan said. “All that matters is that Harper and Framlicker won’t be available for school reunion. We’ll somehow have to muddle on without them.
Vinny put his hand up. “Excuse me,†he said to Montgomery Hole, “but did you know you had a timespace event in the corner of your office?â€Â
The Vice-President of ZOXXON looked puzzled. “A what?â€Â
Letitia glanced over at the corner then down at a PDA strapped to her wrist. “Oh, that,†she said dismissively.
Void folded different parts of reality together and a young Chinese woman stepped out into the office. “Sorry I am late,†she said. “Dr Harper and his Extraordinary Endeavour Enterprises are unable to help you at the moment. Dr Harper asked if I could offer my assistance in your investigation.â€Â
“Liu Xi Xian,†Letitia supplied. “Chinese national with natural metahuman gifts around the five traditional Eastern elements. She’s vaguely associated with the Lair Legion and the Manga Shoggoth.â€Â
“The Idiom,†Liu Xi responded, recognising the trim brunette in the jeans and loafers. “Supervillain escapee from custody, formerly hiding out in Badripoor, old enemy of Mr Epitome.â€Â
“I always preferred to think of myself as a free thinker,†Letitia responded. “And of course, since I played a useful role in preventing the conquest of the universe in the Parody War I was included in the list of wanted individuals who received amnesties from the grateful governments of the world.†She smiled thinly at the elementalist. “Of course, I didn’t sleep with the Parody Master’s right hand man or anything, but…â€Â
“Neither did I,†snapped Liu Xi, her cheeks reddening.
“So,†said Vinny, raising his hand and waving. “Hi.â€Â
Liu Xi forced her temper under control. The room got warmer again. “Hello,†she said, bowing her head slightly to Vinny De Soth and to Monty Hole. “How may I assist you?â€Â
“Quite the team you’ve put together, Monty,†the Idiom agreed. “So what’s the problem?â€Â
***
The helicopter hovered over the wetlands so the passengers could look down over the research complex. Only one passenger actually vomited down onto it.
“Excellent political comment,†the Idiom approved as Vinny retched. “The natural reaction of all right-thinking people to corporate capitalism.â€Â
Liu Xi Xian stared down on the collection of temporary buildings and the main concrete block. A black ribbon road had been cut through the swamp, granting access to the distant interstate. A chain-link fence surrounded the compound. There were around forty cars in the parking lot but no sign of movement. “Where is everybody?†she wondered.
“This isn’t a good place to put a research facility,†Vinny argued. “This site borders onto the Wookiegetlucky Swamp, the Nexus of Unrealities where the walls between dimensions get thin.â€Â
“That’s true,†Liu Xi agreed. “I can feel it.†The elementalist realised that she’d have to be very careful here. If she tired to pinch the fabric of the void, to manipulate elements to grossly, she could tear the very substance of time and space. That limited her powers considerably, and that made her nervous. “Things are… shifting, just behind the barriers. Why did they pick a place like this?â€Â
“For that very reason, I imagine,†Letitia suggested. “I think there’s some kind of meme that says that if you’re going to do mad science, try to create a brand new energy source for a new tomorrow, you really have to plant your facility right on the edge of a cosmic junction so you can open the door to hideous beings from blasphemous outer realities just by loading your stapler wrong.â€Â
Captain Harker was an ex-SEAL officer and now he headed a ZOXXON security division. He’d come along dressed in camo fatigues and he carried assault weaponry. “According to our intel the entire compound is indeed deserted. Everyone who worked at the place vanished sometime between 1420 hours yesterday and 0200 hours this morning. A security detail that investigated went off the grid at 0440.â€Â
“Hence Montgomery’s sudden interest in his old rolodex,†noted the Idiom.
“Can we land?†asked Vinny anxiously. “Please?â€Â
“Sure, why not?†agreed Letitia. “That way we can vanish quicker ourselves.â€Â
Captain Harker looked back at the two security guards in the rear of the chopper. “Secure the LZ,†he ordered. “Stankey, take us down.â€Â
“Going down,†agreed the pilot.
***
The sun was setting behind the stubby trees, painting the waters between them orange. The long shadows cast a chainlink pattern from the fence all the way across the compound.
“I’ve checked the security hut,†Captain Harker announced as he returned to the others beside the powered-down helicopter. “There’s no sign of damage. Last log entry was routine, at 3.55.â€Â
“Can we get power going again?†Vinny wondered. “It’s going to get dark soon.â€Â
The Idiom glared at her wrist monitor with annoyance. “Advanced technology doesn’t react well with that Nexus of Unreality,†she complained, “but I thought I’d put adequate shielding around this thing. Damn.â€Â
“The power generators are that way,†Liu Xi told them. “In that hut.â€Â
“Fine,†sighed Letitia. “I’ll go do something brilliant with them.â€Â
Harker detailed a guard to accompany her.
“Do we have any idea what kind of research they were doing here?†Vinny asked the officer. “I mean, what kind of alternative energy were they looking for? Solar? Wind? Not nuclear, I hope. Because if it was nuclear, I was kind of hoping to have kids some day.†He caught Liu Xi’s eye and blushed. “Not with you,†he clarified. “Not that I mean I wouldn’t like to have… I mean, I’m not thinking about you and me having… “
“I have no information about the nature of Dr Trenchcoat’s research here, sir,†Captain Harker interrupted for humanitarian reasons.
“There might be records in that main building,†Liu Xi considered.
“It’s on lockdown,†Harker explained. “That means no access until we have power again.â€Â
Liu Xi passed her hand over the keypad and willed it to activate. The security seal broke and the blast doors slid open.
“Plasma control,†Vinny noted. “Cool.â€Â
“One of us has to be,†the elementalist answered with a little smile.
Just then the ribbons of lights around the base perimeter switched on. Letitia emerged from the generator hut wiping her hands on one of the guards’ tunics. “Somebody had shut it down,†she announced. “The generator was powered off by somebody who knew the security codes.â€Â
“So this might have been an inside job,†Captain Harker speculated. “A sleeper agent infiltration from HERPES or BALD or the Camorra Macchina or Baroness von Zemo…†He paused and looked over at the Idiom. “Or you.â€Â
Letitia Gahagan shrugged. “Better keep a close eye on me, Captain. I’m mad, bad, and dangerous to know.â€Â
“Maybe we should just go in and fine out what happened?†Liu Xi suggested. “Carefully.â€Â
“We should,†agreed Vinny. “Maybe this is all just a misunderstanding? Some kind of office party that got out of hand?â€Â
“Oh yes, I’m so glad we got you on the team instead of Harper and Framlicker,†noted Letitia. “Lead the way then. If you die we’ll know it’s not safe.â€Â
Vinny De Soth cautiously ventured into the lobby. The main block was a concrete bunker. The majority of it was underground.
Liu Xi checked the signing in book. “Everybody was already here by 9.10am,†she noted. “Fifty-four staff. Nobody signed out.â€Â
“Do we have floor plans for this place?†Vinny asked Letitia. “Schematics?â€Â
“Very classified, apparently,†Letitia told him. “Access totally restricted. And believe me, I tried.â€Â
“Doesn’t Mr Hole have them?†Liu Xi asked.
The Idiom snorted. “Monty only has his job because his dad’s the CEO of the company,†she told them. “He’s VP of ‘Alternative Projects Resolution’. That’s a euphemism for ‘in charge of taking out the trash’. He’s been dumped with this clean-up because nobody else wanted it. And he’s dumped it on us.â€Â
“But we get paid, right?†Vinny checked. He still owed back-rent to Alto Tumour.
The last guard moved into the lobby. The cicadas were gathering outside and the mosquitoes were getting ambitious. As soon as he crossed the threshold the security door triggered again and rumbled shut.
“What?†Letitia demanded. “Who did that?â€Â
“Ooh!†Vinny warned, looking round. “Mystic wards! Who put mystic wards up to trigger when that door closed?â€Â
“I can’t feel anything outside this building,†Liu Xi gasped. “It’s like being blindfolded.â€Â
“Well, at a guess I’d say these ‘mystic wards’ were blanking out your elemental perceptions,†the Idiom told her, “and I’d surmise they were placed here by whoever set this trap for us.â€Â
“I can’t over-ride the door,†Captain Harker called. “Ms Gahagan, could you…?â€Â
Then the power died again.
“Right on cue,†sighed Letitia. “And next…â€Â
Liu Xi cupped her hand and summoned a glow there. The dim illumination cast long shadows around the darkened reception area; but the light was good enough to pick out the tall leather-clad man with the chainsaws where his forearms should be.
“How does he ever go to the toilet?†wondered Vinny, just before the killer lunged for him.
***
Next Time: The secret of Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat’s greatest work, an exciting new energy source for a new tomorrow, and Vinny De Soth concludes that he’s accidentally received the karmic debt of Attila the Hun.
***
Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
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killer shrike
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Subject: And an interesting gathering it was [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 10:29:20 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows Vista
Nice introduction of Vince DeSoth, with an intriguing mystery to boot.
Given the approaching holiday and the party crasher at the end I'm going to guess whatever Dr. Trenchcoat is up to ties into the realm of Frightmare....
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CrazySugarFreakBoy!
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004 Posts: 1,235
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Subject: Michael Myers could make for a great renewable energy resource, since he's pretty much a perpetual motion machine. :) [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 10:33:45 pm EDT (Viewed 497 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
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Visionary
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Subject: Spooky. Well, okay... more funny than spooky. But very, very mysterious. [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Sun Oct 28, 2007 at 11:38:45 pm EDT |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 2.0.0.8 on Windows XP
I quite enjoyed Mr. De Soth. Personally, I think he should consider going with Vinnie. He seems like he could be a Vinnie. Assuming he lives long enough to pick up a new nickname, that it.
Quite the unusual cast this time... It's been a while since we've seen AJA (he went to hell and back with the library, last I recall), and he made for a fun middleman.
I always enjoy an Idiom appearance, even one where she's not happy to be working for the man. One thing though: I'd love to see more idioms in her dialog. I only bring up the request because 1) I'm a sucker for unique speech patterns and 2) You're far better than I am at turning a phrase... which is often what keeps me from using her.
Pairing her up with Liu Xi is an unexpected combo. In fact, having the scientist along with the mystics makes for an interesting flavor. Well, that and the chainsaw hands guy. There has to be all sorts of drawbacks to that. I do like how the environment limits the elementalist... She's a hard character to balance.
I don't really have a theory on what's going on yet (although I'm reminded of Steven King's "The Mist"... wheren't they trying for an energy source in that one?) but I figure there's a clever bit of continuity that's being exploited here. I'll probably hit myself when it's revealed. But then, I likely had it coming anyway.
Good stuff, and I'm glad to see a Halloween tale this year!
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Anime Jason
Owner
Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834
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Subject: This really compounds their problems. [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 01:45:35 am EDT (Viewed 547 times) |
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anime.mangacool.net
(10.0.255.1) using
Apple Safari 3.0.4 on MacOS X (0 points)
Someone's been watching Jurassic Park again.  :)
Liu Xi is by far more suitable for this story than Al B Harper or Miss Framlicker.  She's getting much better at what she does too.  Except someday she's going to have to learn how to deal with magical wards, since she seems to encounter them fairly often.
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Rhiannon
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Subject: Interesting. Entertaining. Mysterious. Fun. Now complete this and finish all the other stuff you told me about. [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 06:52:15 am EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows XP
> The Compound: Part One – Gathered A Hallowe'en story for the Parodyverse
>
>
> Existing oil reserves are predicted to last for anything from twenty-five to sixty years, with significant shortages manifesting well before the end of that projected period. While this will have a short-term benefit for oil importers and refiners there is significant long-term risk unless other reliable energy sources are discovered.
>
> The attached proposal posits an entirely new energy source based upon my own research and that of industry leaders. For a relatively low capital outlay – a suitable research site, access to appropriate technology, trained personnel, and the other items outlined in Annex B, and at a nominal cost of around $0.7bn over a two year schedule – it should be possible to develop such a source to bring about a new tomorrow.
>
> Annex C outlines the risk/cost benefit and demonstrates that the project, while controversial and requiring a range of unconventional techniques, is almost completely safe.
>
> Except from Summary of a Research Proposal by Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat
>
> ***
>
> Alto Tumour’s Second Hand Occult Books and Postcards store was a dingy little walk-in on Ditko and Ploog on the seedy Hogan side of Gothametropolis’ urban centre. Most of the street lights weren’t working and the shop itself was dusty and gloomy. It smelled of joss sticks and ganja and too many curries from the Indian take away next door. Great uncatalogued stacks of grimoires and pamphlets were piled on and beside shelves from floor to ceiling. There was a rack of curses by the door.
>
> Arnie J. Armbruster had to push quite hard to get inside because the door stuck, and he had to step over the wino sleeping outside. He took a look around the dim cluttered store and muttered, “Wow, and I thought my office sucked.â€Â
>
> The store owner looked up from a copy of The Alko Tabloid (with the interesting engravings on page three) and stared at Arnie over grubby half-moon spectacles. “Yeah?â€Â
>
> “Vincent De Soth?†Arnie asked cautiously. “Aura cleansing and spiritual renovation?â€Â
>
> Alto Tumour lost interest again. “In the alcove behind the pile of crap over there,†he pointed. “Tell that bum he still owes me rent.â€Â
>
> Arnie nodded, but persisted. “Could you be specific about which pile of crap, exactly?†he asked.
>
> With some more terse and unfriendly directions from the proprietor, A.J.A was able to climb over a fallen tower of Victorian spiritualist treaties and around a hundred different paperbacks on crystal healing and find the little space beneath the rickety stairs to the upper floor. A very young man with long brown hair looked up from his PC and regarded the visitor hopefully. “Yes?†he asked helpfully. “Oh, hold on… I have a name badge here somewhere!â€Â
>
> Arnie waited as the young man shuffled through the pile of paperwork overflowing from his cheap wobbly desk.
>
> “I know it’s here somewhere,†Vincent De Soth sighed in defeat at last. “It was a really good badge too. It said ‘Hello, My Name Is Vince De Soth. How May I Raise Your Spirits?’â€Â
>
> “Shame I missed that then.â€Â
>
> “Yeah. And it cost me $3 to have it laminated. Damn.†The young man became aware that a potential client was looking at him a little bit oddly. Again. “Er, sit down,†he offered. Then, counting the number of chairs available in the crowded corner he called his office he quickly got up and pushed his own seat to the visitor. “Be careful because one of the castors is a little bit loose.â€Â
>
> A.J.A seated himself cautiously. He ventured a glance at the computer screen, which seemed to be filled with e-mails from people wanting remote tarot readings. “You’re Vincent De Soth, then,†he confirmed.
>
> “Vince. Call me Vince. Only my father calls me Vincent. Well, used to. He doesn’t call me now. Or he calls me Blockhead. Or Ineffectual Disappointment.
>
> “Okay.â€Â
>
> Vince became aware that he was giving far too much information. “So, er, how may I minister to your spiritual-stroke-psychological-stroke-karmic needs, mister…?â€Â
>
> Prompted at last, Arnie remembered his business card. “Oh yeah. Arnie J. Armbruster, Attorney at Law. And private investigator. And sometimes wedding minister.†He held up a crumpled rectangle for Vince to see.
>
> Vince tried not to recoil from the cloud of alcohol fumes surrounding what he hoped would be his client. “Welcome, Mr Armbruster. Did you need your aura cleaning? Or maybe your kidneys?â€Â
>
> Arnie looked around him at the little rack of pamphlets: Jinx Removal and Cosmic Rebalancing; Psychic Questing and Lifestyle Development; Discounted Exorcism Rates; Feng Shui Cookery Consultation; Hygienic Poltergeist Removal; Celestial Planar Alignment Predictions and Elementary Precautions. “So you’re a psychic, right?â€Â
>
> Vince winced. “Well, psychic is a very misused word,†he suggested.
>
> “Cause I need to hire a psychic.â€Â
>
> “But in layman’s terms that’s a very good description of me, yes,†Vince concluded quickly. “Do you need help casting out the malign psychic entities that drive you to habitual abuse of alcohol?â€Â
>
> “You leave my malign psychic entities alone,†A.J.A. growled. “Without the habitual abuse of alcohol what is life anyway?â€Â
>
> “Okay, sorry. I just… You have a very odd karma. In a good way, of course. I’m not judging.â€Â
>
> Arnie sighed. “Look kid, I’m just doing my job. I was hired to find some psychic to go investigate some kind of problem that I don’t even want to know about. I’ve dragged this on as long as the per diem’s gonna allow it, so now I need to find the goods. My old buddy Mystic Marv’s up and vanished, Xander the Improbable is way out of town, and that Sorceress woman threatened to turn me into… well, that doesn’t matter. So I checked the phone book and, well, you looked cheap.â€Â
>
> “I am,†Vince promised him. “Er, that is, inexpensive. Inexpensive but good. Satisfaction guaranteed. Well, when I say guaranteed I mean guaranteed except for you ever getting your money back.†He took a deep breath and managed a shallow smile. “Did I mention that there’s a ten percent discount for cash up front?â€Â
>
> ***
>
> The Bell 206 luxury helicopter set down on the roof of the ZOXXON Oil Corporation building in Dallas and the flight crew helped Vince De Soth down onto the landing pad.
>
> “Thanks again,†the young exorcist told them. “And sorry about puking on your leather seats. I’m usually really good at flying. I sat on my first dragon when I was three. But I’m not so good at the technological flight stuff, I guess.â€Â
>
> “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
>
> “Thanks for the brown bag to breathe into too. That was thoughtful.â€Â
>
> “Not at all, sir. I believe they’re waiting for you in the reception lounge.â€Â
>
> Vince nodded, handed the brown bag back, and hurried away from the rotor turbulence into the glass-walled opulence of the penthouse suite.
>
> “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
>
> “Anything you say. Really.†Vince trailed after the young woman like a dog following a bone.
>
> Montgomery Hole’s office covered the entire 116th floor of the skyscraper, and was the biggest indoor space Vince had ever seen that wasn’t a mall, a basketball court, or a mystically-folded n-space. At one end, framed by a plate glass wall looking out over urban Dallas, was a twelve-foot long desk that was utterly clear except for a nameplate that said: Vice-President (Alternative Projects Resolution). It took Vince a few moments to realise that there was a man sat behind the desk, and a woman sat opposite him.
>
> “Mr De Soth,†Montgomery Hole called, rising up to offer a handshake. “Thanks for coming. I know your father.â€Â
>
> “Ah. Shall I go now, then?â€Â
>
> Monty Hole blinked. “Sorry? What?â€Â
>
> The woman lounging in the executive chair looked up to translate. “What Vincent De Soth means is that he’s estranged from his family of prominent and somewhat sinister paranormal practitioners, and had a rather catastrophic fall-out with his father Asteroth De Soth on the question of active participation in the recent Parody War.â€Â
>
> “On the said against the Parody Master,†Vince clarified anxiously.
>
> The woman went on, turning to the exorcist. “What Mr Hole means is that he is an outer circle member of the Heck-Fire Club where your father is active, and that his father and your father are occasional business associates. Can we get on, now? I’m only helping out your corrupt grasping arrogant mega-corp because you agreed to halt the oil drilling in Marie Hynd Land that’s wiping out the king penguin. I don’t have all week.â€Â
>
> “Very soon, Ms Gahagan. We’re just expecting one more set of arrivals,†Monty answered, trying to placate the impatient woman. “My old college buddies, actually. Sure, we’ve grown apart over the years, but when the chips are down…â€Â
>
> “Al B. Harper won’t be coming,†the woman interrupted him. “Don’t you watch the news? That business with the elevator murder? The Hatman/CSFB! footage? The nuns?â€Â
>
> “Um, I didn’t get to hear the news on the flight down,†admitted Vince apologetically. “There was this brown paper bag and…â€Â
>
> “It doesn’t matter,†Leticia Gahagan said. “All that matters is that Harper and Framlicker won’t be available for school reunion. We’ll somehow have to muddle on without them.
>
> Vince put his hand up. “Excuse me,†he said to Montgomery Hole, “but did you know you had a timespace event in the corner of your office?â€Â
>
> The Vice-President of ZOXXON looked puzzled. “A what?â€Â
>
> Leticia glanced over at the corner then down at a PDA strapped to her wrist. “Oh, that,†she said dismissively.
>
> Void folded different parts of reality together and a young Chinese woman stepped out into the office. “Sorry I am late,†she said. “Dr Harper and his Extraordinary Endeavour Enterprises are unable to help you at the moment. Dr Harper asked if I could offer my assistance in your investigation.â€Â
>
> “Liu Xi Xian,†Leticia supplied. “Chinese national with natural metahuman gifts around the five traditional Eastern elements. She’s vaguely associated with the Lair Legion and the Manga Shoggoth.â€Â
>
> “The Idiom,†Liu Xi responded, recognising the trim brunette in the jeans and loafers. “Supervillain escapee from custody, formerly hiding out in Badripoor, old enemy of Mr Epitome.â€Â
>
> “I always preferred to think of myself as a free thinker,†Leticia responded. “And of course, since I played a useful role in preventing the conquest of the universe in the Parody War I was included in the list of wanted individuals who received amnesties from the grateful governments of the world.†She smiled thinly at the elementalist. “Of course, I didn’t sleep with the Parody Master’s right hand man or anything, but…â€Â
>
> “Neither did I,†snapped Liu Xi, her cheeks reddening.
>
> “So,†said Vince, raising his hand and waving. “Hi.â€Â
>
> Liu Xi forced her temper under control. The room got warmer again. “Hello,†she said, bowing her head slightly to Vince De Soth and to Monty Hole. “How may I assist you?â€Â
>
> “Quite the team you’ve put together, Monty,†the Idiom agreed. “So what’s the problem?â€Â
>
> ***
>
> The helicopter hovered over the wetlands so the passengers could look down over the research complex. Only one passenger actually vomited down onto it.
>
> “Excellent political comment,†the Idiom approved as Vance retched. “The natural reaction of all right-thinking people to corporate capitalism.â€Â
>
> Liu Xi Xian stared down on the collection of temporary buildings and the main concrete block. A black ribbon road had been cut through the swamp, granting access to the distant interstate. A chain-link fence surrounded the compound. There were around forty cars in the parking lot but no sign of movement. “Where is everybody?†she wondered.
>
> “This isn’t a good place to put a research facility,†Vince argued. “This site borders onto the Wookiegetlucky Swamp, the Nexus of Unrealities where the walls between dimensions get thin.â€Â
>
> “That’s true,†Liu Xi agreed. “I can feel it.†The elementalist realised that she’d have to be very careful here. If she tired to pinch the fabric of the void, to manipulate elements to grossly, she could tear the very substance of time and space. That limited her powers considerably, and that made her nervous. “Things are… shifting, just behind the barriers. Why did they pick a place like this?â€Â
>
> “For that very reason, I imagine,†Leticia suggested. “I think there’s some kind of meme that says that if you’re going to do mad science, try to create a brand new energy source for a new tomorrow, you really have to plant your facility right on the edge of a cosmic junction so you can open the door to hideous beings from blasphemous outer realities just by loading your stapler wrong.â€Â
>
> Captain Harker was an ex-SEAL officer and now he headed a ZOXXON security division. He’d come along dressed in camo fatigues and he carried assault weaponry. “According to our intel the entire compound is indeed deserted. Everyone who worked at the place vanished sometime between 1420 hours yesterday and 0200 hours this morning. A security detail that investigated went off the grid at 0440.â€Â
>
> “Hence Montgomery’s sudden interest in his old rolodex,†noted the Idiom.
>
> “Can we land?†asked Vince anxiously. “Please?â€Â
>
> “Sure, why not?†agreed Leticia. “That way we can vanish quicker ourselves.â€Â
>
> Captain Harker looked back at the two security guards in the rear of the chopper. “Secure the LZ,†he ordered. “Stankey, take us down.â€Â
>
> “Going down,†agreed the pilot.
>
> ***
>
> The sun was setting behind the stubby trees, painting the waters between them orange. The long shadows cast a chainlink pattern from the fence all the way across the compound.
>
> “I’ve checked the security hut,†Captain Harker announced as he returned to the others beside the powered-down helicopter. “There’s no sign of damage. Last log entry was routine, at 3.55.â€Â
>
> “Can we get power going again?†Vince wondered. “It’s going to get dark soon.â€Â
>
> The Idiom glared at her wrist monitor with annoyance. “Advanced technology doesn’t react well with that Nexus of Unreality,†she complained, “but I thought I’d put adequate shielding around this thing. Damn.â€Â
>
> “The power generators are that way,†Liu Xi told them. “In that hut.â€Â
>
> “Fine,†sighed Leticia. “I’ll go do something brilliant with them.â€Â
>
> Harker detailed a guard to accompany her.
>
> “Do we have any idea what kind of research they were doing here?†Vince asked the officer. “I mean, what kind of alternative energy were they looking for? Solar? Wind? Not nuclear, I hope. Because if it was nuclear, I was kind of hoping to have kids some day.†He caught Liu Xi’s eye and blushed. “Not with you,†he clarified. “Not that I mean I wouldn’t like to have… I mean, I’m not thinking about you and me having… “
>
> “I have no information about the nature of Dr Trenchcoat’s research here, sir,†Captain Harker interrupted for humanitarian reasons.
>
> “There might be records in that main building,†Liu Xi considered.
>
> “It’s on lockdown,†Harker explained. “That means no access until we have power again.â€Â
>
> Liu Xi passed her hand over the keypad and willed it to activate. The security seal broke and the blast doors slid open.
>
> “Plasma control,†Vince noted. “Cool.â€Â
>
> “One of us has to be,†the elementalist answered with a little smile.
>
> Just then the ribbons of lights around the base perimeter switched on. Leticia emerged from the generator hut wiping her hands on one of the guards’ tunics. “Somebody had shut it down,†she announced. “The generator was powered off by somebody who knew the security codes.â€Â
>
> “So this might have been an inside job,†Captain Harker speculated. “A sleeper agent infiltration from HERPES or BALD or the Camorra Macchina or Baroness von Zemo…†He paused and looked over at the Idiom. “Or you.â€Â
>
> Leticia Gahagan shrugged. “Better keep a close eye on me, Captain. I’m mad, bad, and dangerous to know.â€Â
>
> “Maybe we should just go in and fine out what happened?†Liu Xi suggested. “Carefully.â€Â
>
> “We should,†agreed Vince. “Maybe this is all just a misunderstanding? Some kind of office party that got out of hand?â€Â
>
> “Oh yes, I’m so glad we got you on the team instead of Harper and Framlicker,†noted Leticia. “Lead the way then. If you die we’ll know it’s not safe.â€Â
>
> Vince De Soth cautiously ventured into the lobby. The main block was a concrete bunker. The majority of it was underground.
>
> Liu Xi checked the signing in book. “Everybody was already here by 9.10am,†she noted. “Fifty-four staff. Nobody signed out.â€Â
>
> “Do we have floor plans for this place?†Vince asked Leticia. “Schematics?â€Â
>
> “Very classified, apparently,†Leticia told him. “Access totally restricted. And believe me, I tried.â€Â
>
> “Doesn’t Mr Hole have them?†Liu Xi asked.
>
> The Idiom snorted. “Monty only has his job because his dad’s the CEO of the company,†she told them. “He’s VP of ‘Alternative Projects Resolution’. That’s a euphemism for ‘in charge of taking out the trash’. He’s been dumped with this clean-up because nobody else wanted it. And he’s dumped it on us.â€Â
>
> “But we get paid, right?†Vince checked. He still owed back-rent to Alto Tumour.
>
> The last guard moved into the lobby. The cicadas were gathering outside and the mosquitoes were getting ambitious. As soon as he crossed the threshold the security door triggered again and rumbled shut.
>
> “What?†Leticia demanded. “Who did that?â€Â
>
> “Ooh!†Vance warned, looking round. “Mystic wards! Who put mystic wards up to trigger when that door closed?â€Â
>
> “I can’t feel anything outside this building,†Liu Xi gasped. “It’s like being blindfolded.â€Â
>
> “Well, at a guess I’d say these ‘mystic wards’ were blanking out your elemental perceptions,†the Idiom told her, “and I’d surmise they were placed here by whoever set this trap for us.â€Â
>
> “I can’t over-ride the door,†Captain Harker called. “Ms Gahagan, could you…?â€Â
>
> Then the power died again.
>
> “Right on cue,†sighed Leticia. “And next…â€Â
>
> Liu Xi cupped her hand and summoned a glow there. The dim illumination cast long shadows around the darkened reception area; but the light was good enough to pick out the tall leather-clad man with the chainsaws where his forearms should be.
>
> “How does he ever go to the toilet?†wondered Vance, just before the killer lunged for him.
>
> ***
>
> Next Time: The secret of Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat’s greatest work, an exciting new energy source for a new tomorrow, and Vince De Soth concludes that he’s accidentally received the karmic debt of Attila the Hun.
>
> ***
>
> Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
>
|
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Manga Shoggoth
Member Since: Fri Jan 02, 2004 Posts: 391
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Subject: You digging out the old GW Boardgames? [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 07:22:44 am EDT (Viewed 460 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows XP
Alas, rather rushed comments...
> ... it should be possible to develop such a source to bring about a new tomorrow.
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In my experience, new tomorrows happen automatically.
> Annex C outlines the risk/cost benefit and demonstrates that the project, while controversial and requiring a range of unconventional techniques, is almost completely safe.
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Almost?
> The store owner looked up from a copy of The Alko Tabloid (with the interesting engravings on page three) and stared at Arnie over grubby half-moon spectacles. “Yeah?â€Â
|
Is Murdoch branching out, or is this just a little Sport?
> “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
|
They have them at the Disney Store as well...
> “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
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They get special training.
...was a twelve-foot long desk that was utterly clear except for a nameplate that said: Vice-President (Alternative Projects Resolution).
No green blaize, then?
> Vince put his hand up. “Excuse me,†he said to Montgomery Hole, “but did you know you had a timespace event in the corner of your office?â€Â
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So he's not entirely useless then.
> Next Time: The secret of Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat’s greatest work, an exciting new energy source for a new tomorrow, and Vince De Soth concludes that he’s accidentally received the karmic debt of Attila the Hun.
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Does he have Enduring Power of Attourney?
As is always the case with my writing, please feel free to comment.
I welcome both positive and negative criticism of my work, although I cannot promise to enjoy the negative.
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Hatman
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Subject: *crosses fingers the board doesn't swallow THIS reply* [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 11:56:29 am EDT (Viewed 515 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
That's quite the group of characters you've assembled here. I like the blend of magic and science types as well.
It's a shame George Gedney isn't around anymore; I think he and Vince would have got along quite well.
~Hat~
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L!
Location: Seattle, Washington Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004 Posts: 1,038
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Subject: Intresting. Very Intresting. [Re: Hallowe'en starts here with... the Hooded Hood] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 12:51:34 pm EDT (Viewed 503 times) |
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Posted with Apple Safari on MacOS X
Wasn't AJA & Arnie J. Armbruster 2 people: The creator & the created?
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HH
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Subject: They're swamped. [Re: Anime Jason] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:12:44 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> Someone's been watching Jurassic Park again.  :)
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Actually, it may become clear next time which movies I've been watching.
> Liu Xi is by far more suitable for this story than Al B Harper or Miss Framlicker.  She's getting much better at what she does too.  Except someday she's going to have to learn how to deal with magical wards, since she seems to encounter them fairly often.
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I felt that Al might think Liu Xi could contribute based on early analysis.
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HH
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Subject: Says CSFB! [Re: CrazySugarFreakBoy!] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:13:03 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
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HH, enjoying tiny casts
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Subject: A small gathering, too. [Re: killer shrike] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:16:20 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> Nice introduction of Vince DeSoth, with an intriguing mystery to boot.
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I struggled with who to cast in this. At first it was going to be Al B and the EEE team. Then I threw in the twins and Killer Shrike. Then I considered Whitney Darkness and Ebony and Psychic Samurai and Johnstantine. In the end I picked Idiom and Liu Xi, but couldn't decide on another (preferably male) lead. So I gave up and created one.
> Given the approaching holiday and the party crasher at the end I'm going to guess whatever Dr. Trenchcoat is up to ties into the realm of Frightmare....
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Noted.
Nor is this Dr Trenchoat's first appearance.
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HH
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Subject: And absolutely ookey? [Re: Visionary] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:20:54 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> I quite enjoyed Mr. De Soth. Personally, I think he should consider going with Vinnie. He seems like he could be a Vinnie. Assuming he lives long enough to pick up a new nickname, that it.
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I like Vinnie. I may have to go edit that in.
> Quite the unusual cast this time... It's been a while since we've seen AJA (he went to hell and back with the library, last I recall), and he made for a fun middleman.
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That's why he has a peculiar aura.
> I always enjoy an Idiom appearance, even one where she's not happy to be working for the man. One thing though: I'd love to see more idioms in her dialog. I only bring up the request because 1) I'm a sucker for unique speech patterns and 2) You're far better than I am at turning a phrase... which is often what keeps me from using her.
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I considered trying that, but it seems to me that she tends to that kind of patois when she's in costume in villain mode, not so much when she's in civvie. That's my excuse anyway.
> Pairing her up with Liu Xi is an unexpected combo. In fact, having the scientist along with the mystics makes for an interesting flavor. Well, that and the chainsaw hands guy. There has to be all sorts of drawbacks to that. I do like how the environment limits the elementalist... She's a hard character to balance.
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I needed a bunch of disperate characters to play off each other. And I also needed a big guy with chainsaw hands, naturally.
> I don't really have a theory on what's going on yet (although I'm reminded of Steven King's "The Mist"... wheren't they trying for an energy source in that one?) but I figure there's a clever bit of continuity that's being exploited here. I'll probably hit myself when it's revealed. But then, I likely had it coming anyway.
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I've not read "The Mist", I'm afraid. And you're overestimating the clever continuity too. Sometimes a Compound is just a Compound.
In fact I hadn't planned this story at all until I realised All Hallow's eve was coming and I usually write something thematic for it.
> Good stuff, and I'm glad to see a Halloween tale this year!
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Jolly good.
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HH, considering the appropriate villain
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Subject: I wonder where those lost messages go, once they vanish in the ether? [Re: Hatman] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:22:05 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> That's quite the group of characters you've assembled here. I like the blend of magic and science types as well.
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It seems to be a popular combo.
> It's a shame George Gedney isn't around anymore; I think he and Vince would have got along quite well.
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I suppose they might have.
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HH
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Subject: Such as? [Re: Manga Shoggoth] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:24:26 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> In my experience, new tomorrows happen automatically.
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Always jam yesterday.
> > Annex C outlines the risk/cost benefit and demonstrates that the project, while controversial and requiring a range of unconventional techniques, is almost completely safe.
> Almost?
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Yes, almost.
> > The store owner looked up from a copy of The Alko Tabloid (with the interesting engravings on page three) and stared at Arnie over grubby half-moon spectacles. “Yeah?â€Â
> Is Murdoch branching out, or is this just a little Sport?
|
Watch it with the puns, sun.
> > “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
> They have them at the Disney Store as well...
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Those aren't animatronic?
> > “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
> They get special training.
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Where do I apply for that job?
> > Vince put his hand up. “Excuse me,†he said to Montgomery Hole, “but did you know you had a timespace event in the corner of your office?â€Â
> So he's not entirely useless then.
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He knows his stuff.
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HH has had a tough day.
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Subject: I think I'll sleep first. [Re: Rhiannon] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:24:55 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> > The Compound: Part One – Gathered A Hallowe'en story for the Parodyverse
> >
> >
> > Existing oil reserves are predicted to last for anything from twenty-five to sixty years, with significant shortages manifesting well before the end of that projected period. While this will have a short-term benefit for oil importers and refiners there is significant long-term risk unless other reliable energy sources are discovered.
> >
> > The attached proposal posits an entirely new energy source based upon my own research and that of industry leaders. For a relatively low capital outlay – a suitable research site, access to appropriate technology, trained personnel, and the other items outlined in Annex B, and at a nominal cost of around $0.7bn over a two year schedule – it should be possible to develop such a source to bring about a new tomorrow.
> >
> > Annex C outlines the risk/cost benefit and demonstrates that the project, while controversial and requiring a range of unconventional techniques, is almost completely safe.
> >
> > Except from Summary of a Research Proposal by Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat
> >
> > ***
> >
> > Alto Tumour’s Second Hand Occult Books and Postcards store was a dingy little walk-in on Ditko and Ploog on the seedy Hogan side of Gothametropolis’ urban centre. Most of the street lights weren’t working and the shop itself was dusty and gloomy. It smelled of joss sticks and ganja and too many curries from the Indian take away next door. Great uncatalogued stacks of grimoires and pamphlets were piled on and beside shelves from floor to ceiling. There was a rack of curses by the door.
> >
> > Arnie J. Armbruster had to push quite hard to get inside because the door stuck, and he had to step over the wino sleeping outside. He took a look around the dim cluttered store and muttered, “Wow, and I thought my office sucked.â€Â
> >
> > The store owner looked up from a copy of The Alko Tabloid (with the interesting engravings on page three) and stared at Arnie over grubby half-moon spectacles. “Yeah?â€Â
> >
> > “Vincent De Soth?†Arnie asked cautiously. “Aura cleansing and spiritual renovation?â€Â
> >
> > Alto Tumour lost interest again. “In the alcove behind the pile of crap over there,†he pointed. “Tell that bum he still owes me rent.â€Â
> >
> > Arnie nodded, but persisted. “Could you be specific about which pile of crap, exactly?†he asked.
> >
> > With some more terse and unfriendly directions from the proprietor, A.J.A was able to climb over a fallen tower of Victorian spiritualist treaties and around a hundred different paperbacks on crystal healing and find the little space beneath the rickety stairs to the upper floor. A very young man with long brown hair looked up from his PC and regarded the visitor hopefully. “Yes?†he asked helpfully. “Oh, hold on… I have a name badge here somewhere!â€Â
> >
> > Arnie waited as the young man shuffled through the pile of paperwork overflowing from his cheap wobbly desk.
> >
> > “I know it’s here somewhere,†Vincent De Soth sighed in defeat at last. “It was a really good badge too. It said ‘Hello, My Name Is Vince De Soth. How May I Raise Your Spirits?’â€Â
> >
> > “Shame I missed that then.â€Â
> >
> > “Yeah. And it cost me $3 to have it laminated. Damn.†The young man became aware that a potential client was looking at him a little bit oddly. Again. “Er, sit down,†he offered. Then, counting the number of chairs available in the crowded corner he called his office he quickly got up and pushed his own seat to the visitor. “Be careful because one of the castors is a little bit loose.â€Â
> >
> > A.J.A seated himself cautiously. He ventured a glance at the computer screen, which seemed to be filled with e-mails from people wanting remote tarot readings. “You’re Vincent De Soth, then,†he confirmed.
> >
> > “Vince. Call me Vince. Only my father calls me Vincent. Well, used to. He doesn’t call me now. Or he calls me Blockhead. Or Ineffectual Disappointment.
> >
> > “Okay.â€Â
> >
> > Vince became aware that he was giving far too much information. “So, er, how may I minister to your spiritual-stroke-psychological-stroke-karmic needs, mister…?â€Â
> >
> > Prompted at last, Arnie remembered his business card. “Oh yeah. Arnie J. Armbruster, Attorney at Law. And private investigator. And sometimes wedding minister.†He held up a crumpled rectangle for Vince to see.
> >
> > Vince tried not to recoil from the cloud of alcohol fumes surrounding what he hoped would be his client. “Welcome, Mr Armbruster. Did you need your aura cleaning? Or maybe your kidneys?â€Â
> >
> > Arnie looked around him at the little rack of pamphlets: Jinx Removal and Cosmic Rebalancing; Psychic Questing and Lifestyle Development; Discounted Exorcism Rates; Feng Shui Cookery Consultation; Hygienic Poltergeist Removal; Celestial Planar Alignment Predictions and Elementary Precautions. “So you’re a psychic, right?â€Â
> >
> > Vince winced. “Well, psychic is a very misused word,†he suggested.
> >
> > “Cause I need to hire a psychic.â€Â
> >
> > “But in layman’s terms that’s a very good description of me, yes,†Vince concluded quickly. “Do you need help casting out the malign psychic entities that drive you to habitual abuse of alcohol?â€Â
> >
> > “You leave my malign psychic entities alone,†A.J.A. growled. “Without the habitual abuse of alcohol what is life anyway?â€Â
> >
> > “Okay, sorry. I just… You have a very odd karma. In a good way, of course. I’m not judging.â€Â
> >
> > Arnie sighed. “Look kid, I’m just doing my job. I was hired to find some psychic to go investigate some kind of problem that I don’t even want to know about. I’ve dragged this on as long as the per diem’s gonna allow it, so now I need to find the goods. My old buddy Mystic Marv’s up and vanished, Xander the Improbable is way out of town, and that Sorceress woman threatened to turn me into… well, that doesn’t matter. So I checked the phone book and, well, you looked cheap.â€Â
> >
> > “I am,†Vince promised him. “Er, that is, inexpensive. Inexpensive but good. Satisfaction guaranteed. Well, when I say guaranteed I mean guaranteed except for you ever getting your money back.†He took a deep breath and managed a shallow smile. “Did I mention that there’s a ten percent discount for cash up front?â€Â
> >
> > ***
> >
> > The Bell 206 luxury helicopter set down on the roof of the ZOXXON Oil Corporation building in Dallas and the flight crew helped Vince De Soth down onto the landing pad.
> >
> > “Thanks again,†the young exorcist told them. “And sorry about puking on your leather seats. I’m usually really good at flying. I sat on my first dragon when I was three. But I’m not so good at the technological flight stuff, I guess.â€Â
> >
> > “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
> >
> > “Thanks for the brown bag to breathe into too. That was thoughtful.â€Â
> >
> > “Not at all, sir. I believe they’re waiting for you in the reception lounge.â€Â
> >
> > Vince nodded, handed the brown bag back, and hurried away from the rotor turbulence into the glass-walled opulence of the penthouse suite.
> >
> > “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
> >
> > “Anything you say. Really.†Vince trailed after the young woman like a dog following a bone.
> >
> > Montgomery Hole’s office covered the entire 116th floor of the skyscraper, and was the biggest indoor space Vince had ever seen that wasn’t a mall, a basketball court, or a mystically-folded n-space. At one end, framed by a plate glass wall looking out over urban Dallas, was a twelve-foot long desk that was utterly clear except for a nameplate that said: Vice-President (Alternative Projects Resolution). It took Vince a few moments to realise that there was a man sat behind the desk, and a woman sat opposite him.
> >
> > “Mr De Soth,†Montgomery Hole called, rising up to offer a handshake. “Thanks for coming. I know your father.â€Â
> >
> > “Ah. Shall I go now, then?â€Â
> >
> > Monty Hole blinked. “Sorry? What?â€Â
> >
> > The woman lounging in the executive chair looked up to translate. “What Vincent De Soth means is that he’s estranged from his family of prominent and somewhat sinister paranormal practitioners, and had a rather catastrophic fall-out with his father Asteroth De Soth on the question of active participation in the recent Parody War.â€Â
> >
> > “On the said against the Parody Master,†Vince clarified anxiously.
> >
> > The woman went on, turning to the exorcist. “What Mr Hole means is that he is an outer circle member of the Heck-Fire Club where your father is active, and that his father and your father are occasional business associates. Can we get on, now? I’m only helping out your corrupt grasping arrogant mega-corp because you agreed to halt the oil drilling in Marie Hynd Land that’s wiping out the king penguin. I don’t have all week.â€Â
> >
> > “Very soon, Ms Gahagan. We’re just expecting one more set of arrivals,†Monty answered, trying to placate the impatient woman. “My old college buddies, actually. Sure, we’ve grown apart over the years, but when the chips are down…â€Â
> >
> > “Al B. Harper won’t be coming,†the woman interrupted him. “Don’t you watch the news? That business with the elevator murder? The Hatman/CSFB! footage? The nuns?â€Â
> >
> > “Um, I didn’t get to hear the news on the flight down,†admitted Vince apologetically. “There was this brown paper bag and…â€Â
> >
> > “It doesn’t matter,†Leticia Gahagan said. “All that matters is that Harper and Framlicker won’t be available for school reunion. We’ll somehow have to muddle on without them.
> >
> > Vince put his hand up. “Excuse me,†he said to Montgomery Hole, “but did you know you had a timespace event in the corner of your office?â€Â
> >
> > The Vice-President of ZOXXON looked puzzled. “A what?â€Â
> >
> > Leticia glanced over at the corner then down at a PDA strapped to her wrist. “Oh, that,†she said dismissively.
> >
> > Void folded different parts of reality together and a young Chinese woman stepped out into the office. “Sorry I am late,†she said. “Dr Harper and his Extraordinary Endeavour Enterprises are unable to help you at the moment. Dr Harper asked if I could offer my assistance in your investigation.â€Â
> >
> > “Liu Xi Xian,†Leticia supplied. “Chinese national with natural metahuman gifts around the five traditional Eastern elements. She’s vaguely associated with the Lair Legion and the Manga Shoggoth.â€Â
> >
> > “The Idiom,†Liu Xi responded, recognising the trim brunette in the jeans and loafers. “Supervillain escapee from custody, formerly hiding out in Badripoor, old enemy of Mr Epitome.â€Â
> >
> > “I always preferred to think of myself as a free thinker,†Leticia responded. “And of course, since I played a useful role in preventing the conquest of the universe in the Parody War I was included in the list of wanted individuals who received amnesties from the grateful governments of the world.†She smiled thinly at the elementalist. “Of course, I didn’t sleep with the Parody Master’s right hand man or anything, but…â€Â
> >
> > “Neither did I,†snapped Liu Xi, her cheeks reddening.
> >
> > “So,†said Vince, raising his hand and waving. “Hi.â€Â
> >
> > Liu Xi forced her temper under control. The room got warmer again. “Hello,†she said, bowing her head slightly to Vince De Soth and to Monty Hole. “How may I assist you?â€Â
> >
> > “Quite the team you’ve put together, Monty,†the Idiom agreed. “So what’s the problem?â€Â
> >
> > ***
> >
> > The helicopter hovered over the wetlands so the passengers could look down over the research complex. Only one passenger actually vomited down onto it.
> >
> > “Excellent political comment,†the Idiom approved as Vance retched. “The natural reaction of all right-thinking people to corporate capitalism.â€Â
> >
> > Liu Xi Xian stared down on the collection of temporary buildings and the main concrete block. A black ribbon road had been cut through the swamp, granting access to the distant interstate. A chain-link fence surrounded the compound. There were around forty cars in the parking lot but no sign of movement. “Where is everybody?†she wondered.
> >
> > “This isn’t a good place to put a research facility,†Vince argued. “This site borders onto the Wookiegetlucky Swamp, the Nexus of Unrealities where the walls between dimensions get thin.â€Â
> >
> > “That’s true,†Liu Xi agreed. “I can feel it.†The elementalist realised that she’d have to be very careful here. If she tired to pinch the fabric of the void, to manipulate elements to grossly, she could tear the very substance of time and space. That limited her powers considerably, and that made her nervous. “Things are… shifting, just behind the barriers. Why did they pick a place like this?â€Â
> >
> > “For that very reason, I imagine,†Leticia suggested. “I think there’s some kind of meme that says that if you’re going to do mad science, try to create a brand new energy source for a new tomorrow, you really have to plant your facility right on the edge of a cosmic junction so you can open the door to hideous beings from blasphemous outer realities just by loading your stapler wrong.â€Â
> >
> > Captain Harker was an ex-SEAL officer and now he headed a ZOXXON security division. He’d come along dressed in camo fatigues and he carried assault weaponry. “According to our intel the entire compound is indeed deserted. Everyone who worked at the place vanished sometime between 1420 hours yesterday and 0200 hours this morning. A security detail that investigated went off the grid at 0440.â€Â
> >
> > “Hence Montgomery’s sudden interest in his old rolodex,†noted the Idiom.
> >
> > “Can we land?†asked Vince anxiously. “Please?â€Â
> >
> > “Sure, why not?†agreed Leticia. “That way we can vanish quicker ourselves.â€Â
> >
> > Captain Harker looked back at the two security guards in the rear of the chopper. “Secure the LZ,†he ordered. “Stankey, take us down.â€Â
> >
> > “Going down,†agreed the pilot.
> >
> > ***
> >
> > The sun was setting behind the stubby trees, painting the waters between them orange. The long shadows cast a chainlink pattern from the fence all the way across the compound.
> >
> > “I’ve checked the security hut,†Captain Harker announced as he returned to the others beside the powered-down helicopter. “There’s no sign of damage. Last log entry was routine, at 3.55.â€Â
> >
> > “Can we get power going again?†Vince wondered. “It’s going to get dark soon.â€Â
> >
> > The Idiom glared at her wrist monitor with annoyance. “Advanced technology doesn’t react well with that Nexus of Unreality,†she complained, “but I thought I’d put adequate shielding around this thing. Damn.â€Â
> >
> > “The power generators are that way,†Liu Xi told them. “In that hut.â€Â
> >
> > “Fine,†sighed Leticia. “I’ll go do something brilliant with them.â€Â
> >
> > Harker detailed a guard to accompany her.
> >
> > “Do we have any idea what kind of research they were doing here?†Vince asked the officer. “I mean, what kind of alternative energy were they looking for? Solar? Wind? Not nuclear, I hope. Because if it was nuclear, I was kind of hoping to have kids some day.†He caught Liu Xi’s eye and blushed. “Not with you,†he clarified. “Not that I mean I wouldn’t like to have… I mean, I’m not thinking about you and me having… “
> >
> > “I have no information about the nature of Dr Trenchcoat’s research here, sir,†Captain Harker interrupted for humanitarian reasons.
> >
> > “There might be records in that main building,†Liu Xi considered.
> >
> > “It’s on lockdown,†Harker explained. “That means no access until we have power again.â€Â
> >
> > Liu Xi passed her hand over the keypad and willed it to activate. The security seal broke and the blast doors slid open.
> >
> > “Plasma control,†Vince noted. “Cool.â€Â
> >
> > “One of us has to be,†the elementalist answered with a little smile.
> >
> > Just then the ribbons of lights around the base perimeter switched on. Leticia emerged from the generator hut wiping her hands on one of the guards’ tunics. “Somebody had shut it down,†she announced. “The generator was powered off by somebody who knew the security codes.â€Â
> >
> > “So this might have been an inside job,†Captain Harker speculated. “A sleeper agent infiltration from HERPES or BALD or the Camorra Macchina or Baroness von Zemo…†He paused and looked over at the Idiom. “Or you.â€Â
> >
> > Leticia Gahagan shrugged. “Better keep a close eye on me, Captain. I’m mad, bad, and dangerous to know.â€Â
> >
> > “Maybe we should just go in and fine out what happened?†Liu Xi suggested. “Carefully.â€Â
> >
> > “We should,†agreed Vince. “Maybe this is all just a misunderstanding? Some kind of office party that got out of hand?â€Â
> >
> > “Oh yes, I’m so glad we got you on the team instead of Harper and Framlicker,†noted Leticia. “Lead the way then. If you die we’ll know it’s not safe.â€Â
> >
> > Vince De Soth cautiously ventured into the lobby. The main block was a concrete bunker. The majority of it was underground.
> >
> > Liu Xi checked the signing in book. “Everybody was already here by 9.10am,†she noted. “Fifty-four staff. Nobody signed out.â€Â
> >
> > “Do we have floor plans for this place?†Vince asked Leticia. “Schematics?â€Â
> >
> > “Very classified, apparently,†Leticia told him. “Access totally restricted. And believe me, I tried.â€Â
> >
> > “Doesn’t Mr Hole have them?†Liu Xi asked.
> >
> > The Idiom snorted. “Monty only has his job because his dad’s the CEO of the company,†she told them. “He’s VP of ‘Alternative Projects Resolution’. That’s a euphemism for ‘in charge of taking out the trash’. He’s been dumped with this clean-up because nobody else wanted it. And he’s dumped it on us.â€Â
> >
> > “But we get paid, right?†Vince checked. He still owed back-rent to Alto Tumour.
> >
> > The last guard moved into the lobby. The cicadas were gathering outside and the mosquitoes were getting ambitious. As soon as he crossed the threshold the security door triggered again and rumbled shut.
> >
> > “What?†Leticia demanded. “Who did that?â€Â
> >
> > “Ooh!†Vance warned, looking round. “Mystic wards! Who put mystic wards up to trigger when that door closed?â€Â
> >
> > “I can’t feel anything outside this building,†Liu Xi gasped. “It’s like being blindfolded.â€Â
> >
> > “Well, at a guess I’d say these ‘mystic wards’ were blanking out your elemental perceptions,†the Idiom told her, “and I’d surmise they were placed here by whoever set this trap for us.â€Â
> >
> > “I can’t over-ride the door,†Captain Harker called. “Ms Gahagan, could you…?â€Â
> >
> > Then the power died again.
> >
> > “Right on cue,†sighed Leticia. “And next…â€Â
> >
> > Liu Xi cupped her hand and summoned a glow there. The dim illumination cast long shadows around the darkened reception area; but the light was good enough to pick out the tall leather-clad man with the chainsaws where his forearms should be.
> >
> > “How does he ever go to the toilet?†wondered Vance, just before the killer lunged for him.
> >
> > ***
> >
> > Next Time: The secret of Dr Ludovick Trenchcoat’s greatest work, an exciting new energy source for a new tomorrow, and Vince De Soth concludes that he’s accidentally received the karmic debt of Attila the Hun.
> >
> > ***
> >
> > Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
> >
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HH
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Subject: Okay. Very okay. [Re: L!] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:25:10 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> Wasn't AJA & Arnie J. Armbruster 2 people: The creator & the created?
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Hatman
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Subject: Perhaps an ally of the dreaded Enter Key? [Re: HH, considering the appropriate villain] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 02:41:32 pm EDT (Viewed 498 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
> > That's quite the group of characters you've assembled here. I like the blend of magic and science types as well.
>
> It seems to be a popular combo.
>
> > It's a shame George Gedney isn't around anymore; I think he and Vince would have got along quite well.
>
> I suppose they might have.
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Manga Shoggoth
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Subject: Chainsaw Warrior [Re: HH] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 03:12:30 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 5 on Windows 95
> > > Annex C outlines the risk/cost benefit and demonstrates that the project, while controversial and requiring a range of unconventional techniques, is almost completely safe.
> > Almost?
>
> Yes, almost.
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That's OK then.
> > > The store owner looked up from a copy of The Alko Tabloid (with the interesting engravings on page three) and stared at Arnie over grubby half-moon spectacles. “Yeah?â€Â
> > Is Murdoch branching out, or is this just a little Sport?
>
> Watch it with the puns, sun.
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One of the officers at Boys Brigade camp once mentioned that he "couldn't get up without his Daily Mail." I don't think he ever lived it down...
> > > “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
> > They have them at the Disney Store as well...
>
> Those aren't animatronic?
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No. Lobotomised, possibly.
> > > “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
> > They get special training.
>
> Where do I apply for that job?
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Disney. Where else?
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Anime Jason
Owner
Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834
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Subject: No sense getting bogged down further. [Re: HH] Posted Mon Oct 29, 2007 at 04:01:25 pm EDT (Viewed 493 times) |
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anime.mangacool.net
(10.0.255.1) using
Apple Safari 3.0.4 on MacOS X (0.11 points)
> > Someone's been watching Jurassic Park again.  :)
>
> Actually, it may become clear next time which movies I've been watching.
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I thought it might be Jurassic Park because of the abandoned advanced remote facility with no power thing.
ÂÂ
> > Liu Xi is by far more suitable for this story than Al B Harper or Miss Framlicker.  She's getting much better at what she does too.  Except someday she's going to have to learn how to deal with magical wards, since she seems to encounter them fairly often.
>
> I felt that Al might think Liu Xi could contribute based on early analysis.
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At least he's not purposely trying to get her killed like Xander did.
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Manga Shoggoth
Member Since: Fri Jan 02, 2004 Posts: 391
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Subject: Yea, verily yea. [Re: HH] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 12:02:36 pm EDT (Viewed 527 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows XP
As is always the case with my writing, please feel free to comment.
I welcome both positive and negative criticism of my work, although I cannot promise to enjoy the negative.
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Hatman
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Subject: Bond. James Bond. [Re: Manga Shoggoth] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 02:07:34 pm EDT (Viewed 517 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
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HH
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Subject: And now you name is mud. [Re: Anime Jason] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 02:14:07 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> > > Someone's been watching Jurassic Park again.  :)
> > Actually, it may become clear next time which movies I've been watching.
> I thought it might be Jurassic Park because of the abandoned advanced remote facility with no power thing.
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I did my Jurassic Park stuff long ago with the Savage Park in Antarctica. I seem to recall the LL were torn apart and eaten.
> > I felt that Al might think Liu Xi could contribute based on early analysis.
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> At least he's not purposely trying to get her killed like Xander did.
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Xander never purposely tried to ger her killed. The worst he did was give her to the Parody Master.
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HH
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Subject: Affirmative. [Re: Manga Shoggoth] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 02:19:34 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
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HH
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Subject: Never played it. Talisman, on the other hand... [Re: Manga Shoggoth] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 02:22:00 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> > > > “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
> > > They have them at the Disney Store as well...
> > Those aren't animatronic?
> No. Lobotomised, possibly.
> > > > “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
> > > They get special training.
> > Where do I apply for that job?
> Disney. Where else?
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You see, now you've committed yourself to a Manga Shoggoth story on this topic: "The Store Assistants of Shrub-Noggerath."
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HH
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Subject: Now I want to see that Hatman story. He needs to extend his rogues gallery anyhow. [Re: Hatman] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 02:22:44 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> > > That's quite the group of characters you've assembled here. I like the blend of magic and science types as well.
> >
> > It seems to be a popular combo.
> >
> > > It's a shame George Gedney isn't around anymore; I think he and Vince would have got along quite well.
> >
> > I suppose they might have.
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Hatman
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Subject: Which Hatman story? Enter Key as I recall was a bane for us all. [Re: HH] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 02:47:42 pm EDT (Viewed 506 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
> > > > That's quite the group of characters you've assembled here. I like the blend of magic and science types as well.
> > >
> > > It seems to be a popular combo.
> > >
> > > > It's a shame George Gedney isn't around anymore; I think he and Vince would have got along quite well.
> > >
> > > I suppose they might have.
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Hatman
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Subject: Talisman is such a fun game, though we made house rules on a couple of characters to either depower them or give them a chance [Re: HH] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 02:49:58 pm EDT (Viewed 537 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
> > > > > “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
> > > > They have them at the Disney Store as well...
> > > Those aren't animatronic?
> > No. Lobotomised, possibly.
> > > > > “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
> > > > They get special training.
> > > Where do I apply for that job?
> > Disney. Where else?
>
> You see, now you've committed yourself to a Manga Shoggoth story on this topic: "The Store Assistants of Shrub-Noggerath."
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HH
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Subject: The new Hatman story that you've neglected to post yet. [Re: Hatman] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 03:22:24 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> > > > > That's quite the group of characters you've assembled here. I like the blend of magic and science types as well.
> > > >
> > > > It seems to be a popular combo.
> > > >
> > > > > It's a shame George Gedney isn't around anymore; I think he and Vince would have got along quite well.
> > > >
> > > > I suppose they might have.
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HH
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Subject: My friends refuse to play it with me any more. [Re: Hatman] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 03:22:46 pm EDT |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
> > > > > > “Not a problem, sir,†answered the steward with a fixed professional smile. “Pleasure to have flown you, sir.â€Â
> > > > > They have them at the Disney Store as well...
> > > > Those aren't animatronic?
> > > No. Lobotomised, possibly.
> > > > > > “Mr De Soth?†a perfect 10 of a receptionist asked him with a perfect 10 of a smile. “This way please.â€Â
> > > > > They get special training.
> > > > Where do I apply for that job?
> > > Disney. Where else?
> >
> > You see, now you've committed yourself to a Manga Shoggoth story on this topic: "The Store Assistants of Shrub-Noggerath."
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Hatman
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Subject: I think you're just fishing for a story here, regardless of it I have one or not [Re: HH] Posted Tue Oct 30, 2007 at 03:32:49 pm EDT (Viewed 569 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 on Windows XP
> > > > > > That's quite the group of characters you've assembled here. I like the blend of magic and science types as well.
> > > > >
> > > > > It seems to be a popular combo.
> > > > >
> > > > > > It's a shame George Gedney isn't around anymore; I think he and Vince would have got along quite well.
> > > > >
> > > > > I suppose they might have.
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