"Farewells and Ne'er-Do-Wells"







For Amy Aston, it was quite unexpected to find visitors to the upstairs of her place of business, the super science delivery service known as Extraordinary Endeavour Enterprises. But there she was, a trim young brunette who, having found a folding chair somewhere in the refurbished firehouse, was sitting in the hallway perusing a magazine.



"Uh, have you been helped? And if not, what the h*** are you doing here?" Amy demanded, reaching into her coveralls pocket to ascertain that she had indeed brought her choice whacking spanner with her.



The familiar looking woman smiled, "Hi. Amy, right? I'm Sarah Shepherdson. I work, make that used to work, at the Bean and Donut."



"Yeah.... I thought I recognized you. Wait: you're a waitress?" the girl cast a glance at the closed door Sarah was sitting sentry at, "You wouldn't happen to be the infamous 'accursed waitress', would you? The one he keeps griping about?"



"Probably so."



Amy clasped her hands together in an approximation of prayer, "Please say you're here to take Shrike away from us."



"Yes, but... just for the day though. I have an errand to run and since Al B said the twins are off school Simon is free to help," a puzzled look crossed her face, "Only he isn't answering when I knock."



"Just barge in. That's what I do, except when he's watching The Girls Next Door. Then things get dicey. But its early, so we should be safe."



Shep frowned, "I tried the door; it was locked."



"The doors don't have-" the oil-stained mechanic paused upon revelation, "Hold on."



She departed to her room to search for the appropriate tool for the situation, and returned when she had found it.





BRRZZZACKT!! the cattle prod filled the hallway with metallic tang of ozone when Amy pressed it against the knob. The lights flickered briefly, and a string of profanities came from the other side of the door. With her Timberlands she kicked it open and hollered at the big man sucking on his fingers on the other side.



"Hey, Maddicks, you have a visitor!"



Amy handed the bovine behavior modification device over to Sarah before walking off, "You may need this."



*****





"No! Nononononono. I'm not doing it and you can't make me," Simon Maddicks protested while fumbling with his breakfast with his remaining good hand.



Sarah watched the Butcher Bird shovel another gob of scrambled eggs into his mouth, "Why?"



"Why?! Because I don't have to anymore, you crazy broad. I'm done with you. I'm free. Emancipation proclaimed. Honorably discharged. I've cast off my bonds and am on my way to the Promised Land. Hallelujah!"



"I see," Shep thought a moment, "So what are you going to do with your new found liberty?"



Simon tore away a burnt corner of toast and chewed, "Oh, I got plans, Legs. I got plans. Big ones."



"What?! Are you still here?! I thought she was taking you to get your shots or something?" Amy Aston stomped into the kitchenette and cast a withering glance at the big man gnawing on his sourdough.



"I'll give you a shot- right in your mush!" the Butcher Bird snarled back at the woman refilling her coffee mug. Shep looked from one to the other before her face split into a knowing grin.



"So that's what you're up to. Understood."



The ex-villain scowled, "Huh? Wait- no. That's not right."



"Sure it isn't," Sarah reached over and gave Simon's arm a reassuring pat, "Mister Smooth."



Now it was Amy's turn to become ornery and confused, "What are you girls blathering about?"



"Nothing!" the big man abruptly rose and untucked the napkin from his tee shirt. Grabbing Sarah by the wrist he hoisted her from her stool and began trudging towards the exit, "Let's go run that d*** errand!"



*****



From the back seat of Al Harper's borrowed Bentley Sarah Shepherdson rubbed her forearm, "You know, Simon, you shouldn't be so rough with the fairer sex."



"Noted."



"I mean, for some women that's their thing, but you should be careful."



"Hrn."



"You want me to ask Amy about her particular predilections for you?"



"No. I don't know what you're talking about. Shut up."



Shep grinned. It was a pity she had so many loose ends to tie up before her trip to Europe keeping her from taking on additional responsibilities. As it was she was looking for ways to unload some of the more important ones, "OK, Simon, turn into the S-Mart here. We've got shopping to do."



"You've got shopping, Legs. I ain't leaving this car," the Avian Assassin put the Bentley in park and picked up the racing form folded on the dashboard.



"You mean you're going to make me lug all the groceries myself?" she pouted, "It's all sold in bulk, you know."



"Yup," Simon turned so he could look at the woman over his shoulder, "You keep thinking I'm one of those dork heroes you hang out with. I'm not. I'm the bad guy, remember. E-V-I-L. My job's had me kill more people than you've probably served coffee too. And once I get my suit back from the guy fixing it for me, that's the job I'm going back to.



He turned around and opened his paper with a flourish, "So go schlep your own f****** groceries."





*****





As it turned out, the groceries in question were not for Sarah, but for the occupants in one of the bungalows making up the August Elms Retirement Community. Even so, Simon would not help the young woman unload their sundries until he was promised a tip. Only then was the big burly man willing to hoist a load of supplies and take them inside the small, ramshackle flat.



"You can't leave your stuff here!" the man meeting Simon in the mud room warned. He was short and stooped, and peered out at the world through thick, clunky spectacles.



"Listen, Gramps, this case of adult-size diapers ain't for me. I'm guessin' they're for you or the Living Mummy over there," Maddicks pointed further into the home, at a figure swaddled in a pile of blankets, rocking in its chair.



"C-close the door," the man wheezed, wisps of smoke drifting out from his mouth and in between the bundles of quilting.



Sarah complied, apologizing, "Sorry, Mister Hawthump, it won't happen again."



"Fool!" the hunchback shrieked, "Do not reveal our secret identities to the public!"



"Of course, my mistake, Professor," the young woman made her way to the living room where Mister Hawthump sat and kneeled beside him, "How are you feeling, Creeping Fog?"



"B-been better, Shep."



"Creeping Fog? What the h*** kind of name is that?" Shrike wondered aloud while shifting his cargo from arm to arm.



The first man straightened as much as his crooked spine would allow, "Cretin! Do you not recognize the name of the second most feared criminal in the Parodyverse? Second only to I, the Science Scourge, the Colossus of Criminal Knowledge, Professor Vulcan!!"



"No," the Butcher Bird handed off his bags to Vulcan, a transfer that caused the swaybacked old man to collapse under its weight.



"Ack! I am pinned! Doom Droids, attend me!"



"Compose yourself, Mortimer: the last of your Doom Droids were scrapped by Commander Action! back in 1947. Its just us now," a genteel voice wafted from upstairs. Moments later its owner, a silver-haired fellow in a deep purple track suit descended. He aided Sarah in freeing Professor Vulcan from the debris atop him.



"Lord Linus, how are you?" Shep asked as the man brushed his lips chastely against the back of her hand.



Linus Lynx, Gentleman Rogue, sighed, "As you can see, William is having difficulty maintaining his corporeality again. It always happens when the chill of autumn comes. And Mortimer is, well, Mortimer."



The two watched the aforementioned Professor Vulcan harangue Shrike as he dumped the groceries in the bungalow's kitchenette, "No luck getting help from the Social Security Office?"



"No. Sadly our chosen careers never allowed us the opportunities to pay into the system," the man's composure altered as he changed subjects, "But how are you? Ready for your adventure across the pond?"



"Oh, yes," she said, her own mood changing from sympathetic to enthused, "It really is a wonderful opportunity for me."



Before Linus could speak he was interrupted by his still fuming housemate, "Are you deaf as well as stupid? You've been told you can't leave your stuff here!"



Killer Shrike loomed over Sarah and Lord Linus. Jerking his thumb back towards Professor Vulcan, he announced, "If we don't leave RIGHT NOW I'm going to beat the liver spots off of that guy."



"All right," Shep said her goodbyes to the three men, giving quick but sincere embraces (and accepting a short stack of envelopes Lynx surreptitiously passed to her). Then they were off.



*****



As Shrike had been denied remuneration at August Elms, Sarah felt obligated to reward him through alternate means.



"Here's your appetizer," their slightly uncordial server proclaimed as she set down a plate of Heiney's Super Fiery Chicken Wings onto the table.



"Thanks, babe," Simon grabbed one of the deep fired morsels each hand, "Keep 'em coming."



The woman rolled her eyes and skated off, "She needs to work more on removing the 'wall' between her and the customers," Sarah noted, "Though I suppose given what she has to wear keeping up barricades isn't such a bad idea."



Simon snorted and gave an appreciative glance to the retreating woman's hot pants, which appeared sprayed on, "You know, you could probably get a job working here insted of that grubby little diner. You got the chops for it, or should I say the 'hams'. Heh Heh."



"The Bean and Donut is not a grubby little diner," Shep said defensively, "Anyways I have a new job. As an understudy in a musical."



Simon stuck his fingers in the bowl of ranch dressing to fish out a piece of skin that had been left behind from a previous dip, "Great. Break a leg. Seriously."



"The play's in Europe. We leave in a couple of weeks."



"Really?" the Butcher Bird brightened, "That is good news. Why are you just telling me this now? I would have been much better company knowing you're leaving."



The young woman smiled back, "You know, all these constant digs could start to hurt a girl's self esteem, if she didn't know you were joking."



"Hrn."



The two ate in silence for a while, until a growing curiosity and an empty plate finally compelled Simon to inquire about their earlier errand, "So the Sunshine Boys back there, they're like retired geezer super villains, huh?"



"Yes. I've been helping them for a while now, since I er, I mean Dancer, clued me in to the plight of villains for whom time has passed by. Its not like the bad guys bother to take care of each other."



"Hey, we do. I had partial dental when I worked for Akiko Masamune. And the Hooded Hood retconned me dying a couple of times. There is a Supervillain Code."



"Maybe so," Shep sighed, "Still, I worry about the old timers. Its going to be hard for them to cope without a link to the outside world."



"Pft: givin' yourself a bit too much credit, ain't ya, Legs?" the Avian Assassin used a straw poked at the mass of ice fused together at the bottom of his glass in hopes of freeing up some cola, "Nobody's going to up and die if you take off."



Sarah's brow creased, "I didn't say-"



Simon interrupted her, "Look, if it will get you on that plane and out of my hair, how about I promise to check up on 'The Legion of Grandpas' as needed?"



"Hm, that's an interesting idea. Why didn't I think of that?" the lithe young woman got up and kissed Simon on the cheek, "Thank you, Simon."



Simon Maddicks blinked, then reddened, then wiped his face, "Yeah, yeah: no touching."



"Of course," she caught her reflection in the glass above their booth, "Hm, it looks like I need a bit of a clean up myself. Be right back."



*****



The phone rang in Lord Linus's study. The retired sneak thief set aside his Chaucer and answered.



"Hello? Ah, Sarah. Yes? He did? Splendid. I'll tell the boys. Thank you so much. Goodbye."



Ignoring his aching joints and muscles he made his way to the living room, where Professor Vulcan and The Creeping Fog were watching television, "Good news, gents: Miss Shepherdson has found us a new custodian. That Killer Shrike fellow."



Vulcan grimaced, "Killer Shrike? He can't leave his stuff here."



"I think, old friend, after all Shep has done for us, we can allow this small imposition," Lynx's eyes unconsciously moved to the steamer trunk on which the telly rested, and the recently purloined armor of the Butcher Bird hidden within.



The End

>
>

...is those envelopes handed to Shep on the sly.

The supervillain old folk's home here reminds me of the Terror from both Tick television series (but more so the live action version).

~Hat~

Mysterious, isn't it?



I only remember the Terror from the Tick comic, where he wasn't really played for laughs (not that he was given the chance to much of anything).

I note with great amusement that Sarah didn't need any powers in order to drive Shrike up the wall... Some talents just come naturally, I suppose.

Excellent EEE interactions, especially with Sarah finding a matchmaking opportunity to exploit. If Amy and KS ever do become a couple, I hope they invest heavily in health insurance. And that I never rent the apartment next door to them.

Lots of fun and some mysteries at play with the visit to the old villain's home. I'm not sure what the old coots and Sarah are up to (beyond manipulating KS into taking up her old role). Nor am I sure why they have his costume... I assume a follow-up to this one will be forthcoming...?

Great fun... I'm glad you didn't let Dancer slip away to Europe without this one.

Nothing can withstand the power of nice.




I'll probably stay away from using the EEE cast during Al's absence.



I didn't do a good enough job making that clear: Dancer took the costume from Mr. Lye's because she knew if Shrike got it back he would more than likely return to his villainous ways.


>I assume a follow-up to this one will be forthcoming...?

I've got a few ideas for bits where we learn more about the old villains' backstories (including the letters Lynx gave Sarah). I'll probably tackle them once I get to a good rest point for Mr.Epitome's storyline.



Thanks. Of course, I'd personally be thrilled if Dancer didn't slip away....

I'm intrigued about the appearance of the Shrike armour too.

.

As I wrote in Vizh's reply, it was supposed to be established that Dancer somehow got the suit from Mister Lye's and asked the old guys to hold onto it for her. I should have made tha more clear.

Hi Ian

Listen, Im here without my little black book so I don’t have anybody’s e-mail addys so I cant contact Mike (Shrike-Mike) and tell him what a wonderful bit of work he did on his new story and how much I loved it. So could you please please post this on the PV so he knows I appreciate it? I liked it so much I had to sit right down and write something as a sort of sequel, so it was so good it got me past my PV-writjng funk too! That’s got to be a good story he did!!

Oh, could you do your proofy magic and post the story too? Thanx

Running – a sequel to KS’s really excellent “Farewells and Ne’er-Do-Wells” Things you need to know about these people: * The Probability Dancer recently lost her power. She also lost Premiere, a.k.a. Victor Brooke, one of the heroes who died in the Parody War. She got a theatre tour gig in her secret ID as Sarah Shepherdson from her new date Harry and she’s leaving Parodiopolis soon. * Zdenka Zarazoza is the shapeshifting Candian superhero Rabid Wolf. She’s also goddess of the north. She’s also romantically entangled with Hatman, and recently got back from an alternate dimension where they thought they were married and were living happily. * Katarina Allen is a lacemaker who was rescued from the horrors of the alien world Apocalyspe by Legionnaire superhero Mr Epitome, a.k.a. Dominic Clancy. They have been dating ever since, and they’re now considering moving in together in a secret house Dom is having seven dwarf political refugees from Fairy build for him. ____________________________________     Zdenka liked the Eastern shore of Lair Island, where the pebbled beach sloped down to the wide Atlantic and the ocean seemed to go on forever. She liked the wheeling gulls and the way the water washed up into the tiny coves with each pulse of the tide. She liked the peace and the quiet. Not many people came here, this far from the Mansion.     Except for the joggers. Even in her human form Rabid Wolf could hear the crunch of trainers on sand. And even before that she could hear the complaining.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“This is supposed to make me fit?” gasped Katarina Allen. “How does cardiac arrest make me fit?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re not going to die,” Dancer assured her. “Just push through the burn. If your muscles don’t hurt a bit then you’re not improving.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Could I volunteer to not improve? Not improve and live?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’ve got to keep trim. You can’t just rely on constant sex with Dominic for all your exercise. Although sex is a very good workout, very recommended. Meggan Foxxx offered to do an instructional video on it with me, for the mass market, but I thought perhaps people might misunderstand.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“No,” panted Kat, stopping near Zdenka and bending over to try and catch her breath. “I think that’s great. Wonderful idea. You should go and do that right now. I’ll just wait here.”     Dancer stopped and jogged backwards and stood beside the gasping weaver, still running on the spot. “You shouldn’t give in now.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re right. I should have given in half a mile back.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re not unfit. But a regular regimen of exercise will keep you that way. It’s a good habit to get before middle age.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Middle age? I’m only…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anything past twenty and you need to keep yourself in trim. Your body stops doing it all for you. You can’t abuse yourself any more without some payback.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Right,” agreed Kat savagely. “So we have fitness instructors to abuse us instead.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Exactly,” grinned Dancer. “Now come on. If we get round to the lighthouse we can pretend to be exhausted and cadge a cup of cocoa off Vizh.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Pretend?”     Rabid Wolf snorted with laughter at the expression of Kat Allen’s face. Dancer and Kat noticed her.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Help me,” begged Kat.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You are doing just fine, I think,” Zdenka Zarazosa assured the weaver. “You just perhaps need a little bit of break, yes?”     Dancer sighed dramatically and settled down on a rock next to Rabid Wolf. “This is very bad for discipline,” she warned. “Can I convince you to run with us, Zdenka?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Perhaps later, and in wolf form,” conceded the Candian refugee. “For now I am sitting and watching the waves.”     Dancer looked again the willowy russet-haired shapechanger. “Sitting and watching the waves in a good way or in a bad way?” she checked.     Rabid Wolf kept on looking out to sea. “I do not know,” she answered.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why not?” asked Kat. Anything to keep the conversation going until her lungs clawed their way back into her body.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Ooh,” Dancer sensed, “boyfriend issues alert! My relationship-sense is tingling!”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dancer, you don’t have a relationship-sense,” Kat Allen pointed out. “You’re famous for not having a relationship-sense.”     The Probability Dancer hunched her shoulders a little. “It’s because I’ve had so many problems with guys that I can tell when one’s happening. I’m like a one-woman survivor’s group. A really hot one-woman survivor’s group.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not have relationship problems with Jay,” Zdenka said.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So it is Jay!” Dancer squealed. “I knew it!”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not have relationship problems with Jay,” Zdenka said, “because I do not have a relationship with him.”     Kat winced. “Ouch.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hold on!” Dancer objected. “You and Hatty, you’re the original love bunnies. Well, not the original love-bunnies, because Yo locked them in spiffy’s bedroom that time and we had to get a truck to ship them all off to live in the wilds of Idaho. But you know what I mean. I’ve rarely seen two people so into each other as you and Jay. Heck, when you two got dropped into some kind of dimensional elder-gate thing it was your love for each other that created that alternate realm thingie where you were married.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Was that the problem?” Kat guessed, seeing Zdenka’s face. “You were married?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We thought we were,” Rabid Wolf agreed. “It was like living in dream. We were together, and we lived happily. It was wonderful.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So you know how good it could be,” Dancer encouraged the goddess of the North. “It’s like when some people live together to see if they’re compatible. Sometimes it turns out they’re not, and you never see your portable CD player again. Other times you find that he’s The One, and you live happily ever after. Apparently.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Apparently?” Kat caught the edge in Dancer’s voice.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Did I mention that Harry and Shep aren’t seeing each other any more?” Dancer asked. “Well, obviously they’re seeing each other because Harry’s working on Lair Legion: The Musical and Shep’s going on tour with them so they’ll see each other every day. The tour I’m tagging along on now I’ve lost my powers, just because. But they’re not seeing each other in the seeing each other naked sense anymore. Shep doesn’t sleep with people she works with. Same with me. That’s why I don’t sleep with Vizh now.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Plus he is your brother,” Kat pointed out.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, yes. Adopted. Now. You really had to be there for the crossover for it to make any sense.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not know what to say,” confessed Rabid Wolf. “What Jay and I had was very… intense.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“That can happen,” admitted Kat. “Say you get zapped to an alien planet and have to survive for months while they hunt you like vermin, and you happen to meet some amnesiac guy who’s so… so what you need just then, so hero and so shining, and you end up making a complete fool of yourself and taking him to bed even though you hardly know him and then you find he’s actually a superhero and you don’t know where to look because this is so not what you’re really like but by then…” She petered out. “It can happen,” she said, getting a grip.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“But you and Dom are fine,” Dancer argued. “You have your piece of wood.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Piece of wood?” Zdenka’s English wasn’t that good. She wasn’t really up on all the euphemisms. “This is sex, yes?”     Kat blushed. “It’s a pelmet, actually. California pine. For the bedroom of Dom’s house. It’s really beautiful, so well crafted, not just the pelmet I mean but everything, and it makes me happy thinking about it.” She realised she wasn’t clarifying things very well. “It’s made by dwarves,” she explained.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not think my English…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dom and Kat are thinking about setting up house together,” Dancer translated. “They’re at the picking furnishings stage, and Kat’s kind of gushy about the domestic details. And we are in no way jealous that she’s moving towards a happy stable relationship with the only man on the planet interested in settling down and raising a family.”     Kat winced. “Well… Dom may not be able to give me kids.”     Zdenka’s eyes widened. “So Miiri was correct?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s a side-effect of that process that gave him his powers, I think. It’s apparently very classified.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Most guys try to classify stuff like that,” Dancer observed. “Can he still…?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes. Lots of exercise, okay. Lots of it. Burning calories every night. But if we want children we may have to adopt.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You could adopt Glory,” suggested Rabid Wolf. She didn’t have the same species boundary perceptions as most people. “You have a future.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why don’t you?” demanded Dancer.     Zdenka looked confused. “I do not think Glory would want me as a parent, Dancer.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I mean, why don’t you and Jay have a future? You were so good together, even in your dream.”     Rabid Wolf shook her head. “I am Zvesti Zdrugo, goddess of the north, avatar of Candia. I cannot stay too long from my country or I become sick and so does it. And though I am exiled from my home, I am still having of husband there. Dmitri. Captain Mud.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, we have this fine tradition here in the U.S.,” Kat said. “It’s called divorce. One in two couples try it these days.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“In Candia this requires the permission of the Commissar,” Zdenka explained. “I do not think he is too happy to give it to me just now.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“On account of you jilting him at the altar just before he annulled your marriage to Dmitri and made you Mrs Commissar of Candia,” remembered Dancer. “Yeah, that kind of muddies the waters.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dmitri did not mean to do that,” Zdenka said. “Sometimes he loses control of his powers.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“But it’s not unsolvable, right?” Kat demanded. “I mean, if you and Jay want to be together…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Jay’s a straight-arrow,” Dancer said. “He won’t go against his principles, but he won’t let you down either. What did he say to you after you both got your memories back and you returned to Earth?”     Rabid Wolf still gazed to sea. “Nothing.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nothing?” Kat asked. “Nothing nothing?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“He was hurt,” Rabid Wolf explained. “He had been tortured by the Parody Master. Tortured more than he would tell. Then he had been given a little paradise. I think it was paradise. Then he had to throw it away. Coming back to the real world again, after everything that happened…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Second time for Hat, because he had a similar ordeal with Sorcy,” added Dancer.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Coming back, it was… cold.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So what have you said to each other?” Kat insisted. “You must have talked. You’ve spent time together.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Jay is very busy with Lair Legion. There are many things to put right after big war.”     Dancer looked round. “Okay, I’m going to march right into his office and…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“No.” Rabid Wolf caught her arm. “Please do not. If Jay wants to talk with me, he will talk. If this is over, then it is over. If he needs time, I will give time. I love him. It may be I cannot have him. But it is for Jay to decide.”     Kat and Dancer caught each other’s gaze. “I thought I had boyfriend problems,” Dancer said.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You do,” Katarina answered, seeing through the façade. “Premiere died, didn’t he?”     Dancer swallowed hard. “Not everybody is cut out for happy endings like you, Kat.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Soon I will have to go home, one way or another,” Zdenka said. “Going away helps sometimes, I think.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It does,” agreed Dancer. “I’m going to Europe. What I might have had with Victor if things had turned out different… that’s staying here.”     Kat blew out of her cheeks. “Well, this just confirms my view of jogging,” she told them. “It’s dangerous.”     The three women looked out over the ocean, to see if they could glimpse the future. Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Sarah Shepherdson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Sarah Shepherdson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.

That was really well done. I was expecting something in the comical Dancer script style, and was pleasantly surprised by this tale. I guess I should get off my butt and rectify the Zdenka situation (which was handled beautifully, by the way).

~Hat~

> "Farewells and Ne'er-Do-Wells" > > > > > > > > For Amy Aston, it was quite unexpected to find visitors to the upstairs of her place of business, the super science delivery service known as Extraordinary Endeavour Enterprises. But there she was, a trim young brunette who, having found a folding chair somewhere in the refurbished firehouse, was sitting in the hallway perusing a magazine. > > > > "Uh, have you been helped? And if not, what the h*** are you doing here?" Amy demanded, reaching into her coveralls pocket to ascertain that she had indeed brought her choice whacking spanner with her. > > > > The familiar looking woman smiled, "Hi. Amy, right? I'm Sarah Shepherdson. I work, make that used to work, at the Bean and Donut." > > > > "Yeah.... I thought I recognized you. Wait: you're a waitress?" the girl cast a glance at the closed door Sarah was sitting sentry at, "You wouldn't happen to be the infamous 'accursed waitress', would you? The one he keeps griping about?" > > > > "Probably so." > > > > Amy clasped her hands together in an approximation of prayer, "Please say you're here to take Shrike away from us." > > > > "Yes, but... just for the day though. I have an errand to run and since Al B said the twins are off school Simon is free to help," a puzzled look crossed her face, "Only he isn't answering when I knock." > > > > "Just barge in. That's what I do, except when he's watching The Girls Next Door. Then things get dicey. But its early, so we should be safe." > > > > Shep frowned, "I tried the door; it was locked." > > > > "The doors don't have-" the oil-stained mechanic paused upon revelation, "Hold on." > > > > She departed to her room to search for the appropriate tool for the situation, and returned when she had found it. > > > > > > BRRZZZACKT!! the cattle prod filled the hallway with metallic tang of ozone when Amy pressed it against the knob. The lights flickered briefly, and a string of profanities came from the other side of the door. With her Timberlands she kicked it open and hollered at the big man sucking on his fingers on the other side. > > > > "Hey, Maddicks, you have a visitor!" > > > > Amy handed the bovine behavior modification device over to Sarah before walking off, "You may need this." > > > > ***** > > > > > > "No! Nononononono. I'm not doing it and you can't make me," Simon Maddicks protested while fumbling with his breakfast with his remaining good hand. > > > > Sarah watched the Butcher Bird shovel another gob of scrambled eggs into his mouth, "Why?" > > > > "Why?! Because I don't have to anymore, you crazy broad. I'm done with you. I'm free. Emancipation proclaimed. Honorably discharged. I've cast off my bonds and am on my way to the Promised Land. Hallelujah!" > > > > "I see," Shep thought a moment, "So what are you going to do with your new found liberty?" > > > > Simon tore away a burnt corner of toast and chewed, "Oh, I got plans, Legs. I got plans. Big ones." > > > > "What?! Are you still here?! I thought she was taking you to get your shots or something?" Amy Aston stomped into the kitchenette and cast a withering glance at the big man gnawing on his sourdough. > > > > "I'll give you a shot- right in your mush!" the Butcher Bird snarled back at the woman refilling her coffee mug. Shep looked from one to the other before her face split into a knowing grin. > > > > "So that's what you're up to. Understood." > > > > The ex-villain scowled, "Huh? Wait- no. That's not right." > > > > "Sure it isn't," Sarah reached over and gave Simon's arm a reassuring pat, "Mister Smooth." > > > > Now it was Amy's turn to become ornery and confused, "What are you girls blathering about?" > > > > "Nothing!" the big man abruptly rose and untucked the napkin from his tee shirt. Grabbing Sarah by the wrist he hoisted her from her stool and began trudging towards the exit, "Let's go run that d*** errand!" > > > > ***** > > > > From the back seat of Al Harper's borrowed Bentley Sarah Shepherdson rubbed her forearm, "You know, Simon, you shouldn't be so rough with the fairer sex." > > > > "Noted." > > > > "I mean, for some women that's their thing, but you should be careful." > > > > "Hrn." > > > > "You want me to ask Amy about her particular predilections for you?" > > > > "No. I don't know what you're talking about. Shut up." > > > > Shep grinned. It was a pity she had so many loose ends to tie up before her trip to Europe keeping her from taking on additional responsibilities. As it was she was looking for ways to unload some of the more important ones, "OK, Simon, turn into the S-Mart here. We've got shopping to do." > > > > "You've got shopping, Legs. I ain't leaving this car," the Avian Assassin put the Bentley in park and picked up the racing form folded on the dashboard. > > > > "You mean you're going to make me lug all the groceries myself?" she pouted, "It's all sold in bulk, you know." > > > > "Yup," Simon turned so he could look at the woman over his shoulder, "You keep thinking I'm one of those dork heroes you hang out with. I'm not. I'm the bad guy, remember. E-V-I-L. My job's had me kill more people than you've probably served coffee too. And once I get my suit back from the guy fixing it for me, that's the job I'm going back to. > > > > He turned around and opened his paper with a flourish, "So go schlep your own f****** groceries." > > > > > > ***** > > > > > > As it turned out, the groceries in question were not for Sarah, but for the occupants in one of the bungalows making up the August Elms Retirement Community. Even so, Simon would not help the young woman unload their sundries until he was promised a tip. Only then was the big burly man willing to hoist a load of supplies and take them inside the small, ramshackle flat. > > > > "You can't leave your stuff here!" the man meeting Simon in the mud room warned. He was short and stooped, and peered out at the world through thick, clunky spectacles. > > > > "Listen, Gramps, this case of adult-size diapers ain't for me. I'm guessin' they're for you or the Living Mummy over there," Maddicks pointed further into the home, at a figure swaddled in a pile of blankets, rocking in its chair. > > > > "C-close the door," the man wheezed, wisps of smoke drifting out from his mouth and in between the bundles of quilting. > > > > Sarah complied, apologizing, "Sorry, Mister Hawthump, it won't happen again." > > > > "Fool!" the hunchback shrieked, "Do not reveal our secret identities to the public!" > > > > "Of course, my mistake, Professor," the young woman made her way to the living room where Mister Hawthump sat and kneeled beside him, "How are you feeling, Creeping Fog?" > > > > "B-been better, Shep." > > > > "Creeping Fog? What the h*** kind of name is that?" Shrike wondered aloud while shifting his cargo from arm to arm. > > > > The first man straightened as much as his crooked spine would allow, "Cretin! Do you not recognize the name of the second most feared criminal in the Parodyverse? Second only to I, the Science Scourge, the Colossus of Criminal Knowledge, Professor Vulcan!!" > > > > "No," the Butcher Bird handed off his bags to Vulcan, a transfer that caused the swaybacked old man to collapse under its weight. > > > > "Ack! I am pinned! Doom Droids, attend me!" > > > > "Compose yourself, Mortimer: the last of your Doom Droids were scrapped by Commander Action! back in 1947. Its just us now," a genteel voice wafted from upstairs. Moments later its owner, a silver-haired fellow in a deep purple track suit descended. He aided Sarah in freeing Professor Vulcan from the debris atop him. > > > > "Lord Linus, how are you?" Shep asked as the man brushed his lips chastely against the back of her hand. > > > > Linus Lynx, Gentleman Rogue, sighed, "As you can see, William is having difficulty maintaining his corporeality again. It always happens when the chill of autumn comes. And Mortimer is, well, Mortimer." > > > > The two watched the aforementioned Professor Vulcan harangue Shrike as he dumped the groceries in the bungalow's kitchenette, "No luck getting help from the Social Security Office?" > > > > "No. Sadly our chosen careers never allowed us the opportunities to pay into the system," the man's composure altered as he changed subjects, "But how are you? Ready for your adventure across the pond?" > > > > "Oh, yes," she said, her own mood changing from sympathetic to enthused, "It really is a wonderful opportunity for me." > > > > Before Linus could speak he was interrupted by his still fuming housemate, "Are you deaf as well as stupid? You've been told you can't leave your stuff here!" > > > > Killer Shrike loomed over Sarah and Lord Linus. Jerking his thumb back towards Professor Vulcan, he announced, "If we don't leave RIGHT NOW I'm going to beat the liver spots off of that guy." > > > > "All right," Shep said her goodbyes to the three men, giving quick but sincere embraces (and accepting a short stack of envelopes Lynx surreptitiously passed to her). Then they were off. > > > > ***** > > > > As Shrike had been denied remuneration at August Elms, Sarah felt obligated to reward him through alternate means. > > > > "Here's your appetizer," their slightly uncordial server proclaimed as she set down a plate of Heiney's Super Fiery Chicken Wings onto the table. > > > > "Thanks, babe," Simon grabbed one of the deep fired morsels each hand, "Keep 'em coming." > > > > The woman rolled her eyes and skated off, "She needs to work more on removing the 'wall' between her and the customers," Sarah noted, "Though I suppose given what she has to wear keeping up barricades isn't such a bad idea." > > > > Simon snorted and gave an appreciative glance to the retreating woman's hot pants, which appeared sprayed on, "You know, you could probably get a job working here insted of that grubby little diner. You got the chops for it, or should I say the 'hams'. Heh Heh." > > > > "The Bean and Donut is not a grubby little diner," Shep said defensively, "Anyways I have a new job. As an understudy in a musical." > > > > Simon stuck his fingers in the bowl of ranch dressing to fish out a piece of skin that had been left behind from a previous dip, "Great. Break a leg. Seriously." > > > > "The play's in Europe. We leave in a couple of weeks." > > > > "Really?" the Butcher Bird brightened, "That is good news. Why are you just telling me this now? I would have been much better company knowing you're leaving." > > > > The young woman smiled back, "You know, all these constant digs could start to hurt a girl's self esteem, if she didn't know you were joking." > > > > "Hrn." > > > > The two ate in silence for a while, until a growing curiosity and an empty plate finally compelled Simon to inquire about their earlier errand, "So the Sunshine Boys back there, they're like retired geezer super villains, huh?" > > > > "Yes. I've been helping them for a while now, since I er, I mean Dancer, clued me in to the plight of villains for whom time has passed by. Its not like the bad guys bother to take care of each other." > > > > "Hey, we do. I had partial dental when I worked for Akiko Masamune. And the Hooded Hood retconned me dying a couple of times. There is a Supervillain Code." > > > > "Maybe so," Shep sighed, "Still, I worry about the old timers. Its going to be hard for them to cope without a link to the outside world." > > > > "Pft: givin' yourself a bit too much credit, ain't ya, Legs?" the Avian Assassin used a straw poked at the mass of ice fused together at the bottom of his glass in hopes of freeing up some cola, "Nobody's going to up and die if you take off." > > > > Sarah's brow creased, "I didn't say-" > > > > Simon interrupted her, "Look, if it will get you on that plane and out of my hair, how about I promise to check up on 'The Legion of Grandpas' as needed?" > > > > "Hm, that's an interesting idea. Why didn't I think of that?" the lithe young woman got up and kissed Simon on the cheek, "Thank you, Simon." > > > > Simon Maddicks blinked, then reddened, then wiped his face, "Yeah, yeah: no touching." > > > > "Of course," she caught her reflection in the glass above their booth, "Hm, it looks like I need a bit of a clean up myself. Be right back." > > > > ***** > > > > The phone rang in Lord Linus's study. The retired sneak thief set aside his Chaucer and answered. > > > > "Hello? Ah, Sarah. Yes? He did? Splendid. I'll tell the boys. Thank you so much. Goodbye." > > > > Ignoring his aching joints and muscles he made his way to the living room, where Professor Vulcan and The Creeping Fog were watching television, "Good news, gents: Miss Shepherdson has found us a new custodian. That Killer Shrike fellow." > > > > Vulcan grimaced, "Killer Shrike? He can't leave his stuff here." > > > > "I think, old friend, after all Shep has done for us, we can allow this small imposition," Lynx's eyes unconsciously moved to the steamer trunk on which the telly rested, and the recently purloined armor of the Butcher Bird hidden within. > > > > The End > > > > > > > >

A delightfully introspective chapter that never lost the bright, deft Dancer tone and sense of humor. You make these characters such fun to be around, and not just because they're all extremely hot women. There's a lot of heart behind the wisecracks.

It did leave me with a sense of sadness, however, especially with Dancer leaving for Europe. Even hearing that it was over with Harry wasn't enough to overcome that...

> Running – a sequel to KS’s really excellent “Farewells and Ne’er-Do-Wells” > > Things you need to know about these people: > > * The Probability Dancer recently lost her power. She also lost Premiere, a.k.a. Victor Brooke, one of the heroes who died in the Parody War. She got a theatre tour gig in her secret ID as Sarah Shepherdson from her new date Harry and she’s leaving Parodiopolis soon. > > * Zdenka Zarazoza is the shapeshifting Candian superhero Rabid Wolf. She’s also goddess of the north. She’s also romantically entangled with Hatman, and recently got back from an alternate dimension where they thought they were married and were living happily. > > * Katarina Allen is a lacemaker who was rescued from the horrors of the alien world Apocalyspe by Legionnaire superhero Mr Epitome, a.k.a. Dominic Clancy. They have been dating ever since, and they’re now considering moving in together in a secret house Dom is having seven dwarf political refugees from Fairy build for him. > > ____________________________________ > >     Zdenka liked the Eastern shore of Lair Island, where the pebbled beach sloped down to the wide Atlantic and the ocean seemed to go on forever. She liked the wheeling gulls and the way the water washed up into the tiny coves with each pulse of the tide. She liked the peace and the quiet. Not many people came here, this far from the Mansion. > >     Except for the joggers. Even in her human form Rabid Wolf could hear the crunch of trainers on sand. And even before that she could hear the complaining. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“This is supposed to make me fit?” gasped Katarina Allen. “How does cardiac arrest make me fit?” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re not going to die,” Dancer assured her. “Just push through the burn. If your muscles don’t hurt a bit then you’re not improving.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Could I volunteer to not improve? Not improve and live?” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’ve got to keep trim. You can’t just rely on constant sex with Dominic for all your exercise. Although sex is a very good workout, very recommended. Meggan Foxxx offered to do an instructional video on it with me, for the mass market, but I thought perhaps people might misunderstand.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“No,” panted Kat, stopping near Zdenka and bending over to try and catch her breath. “I think that’s great. Wonderful idea. You should go and do that right now. I’ll just wait here.” > >     Dancer stopped and jogged backwards and stood beside the gasping weaver, still running on the spot. “You shouldn’t give in now.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re right. I should have given in half a mile back.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You’re not unfit. But a regular regimen of exercise will keep you that way. It’s a good habit to get before middle age.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Middle age? I’m only…” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Anything past twenty and you need to keep yourself in trim. Your body stops doing it all for you. You can’t abuse yourself any more without some payback.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Right,” agreed Kat savagely. “So we have fitness instructors to abuse us instead.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Exactly,” grinned Dancer. “Now come on. If we get round to the lighthouse we can pretend to be exhausted and cadge a cup of cocoa off Vizh.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Pretend?” > >     Rabid Wolf snorted with laughter at the expression of Kat Allen’s face. Dancer and Kat noticed her. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Help me,” begged Kat. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You are doing just fine, I think,” Zdenka Zarazosa assured the weaver. “You just perhaps need a little bit of break, yes?” > >     Dancer sighed dramatically and settled down on a rock next to Rabid Wolf. “This is very bad for discipline,” she warned. “Can I convince you to run with us, Zdenka?” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Perhaps later, and in wolf form,” conceded the Candian refugee. “For now I am sitting and watching the waves.” > >     Dancer looked again the willowy russet-haired shapechanger. “Sitting and watching the waves in a good way or in a bad way?” she checked. > >     Rabid Wolf kept on looking out to sea. “I do not know,” she answered. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why not?” asked Kat. Anything to keep the conversation going until her lungs clawed their way back into her body. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Ooh,” Dancer sensed, “boyfriend issues alert! My relationship-sense is tingling!” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dancer, you don’t have a relationship-sense,” Kat Allen pointed out. “You’re famous for not having a relationship-sense.” > >     The Probability Dancer hunched her shoulders a little. “It’s because I’ve had so many problems with guys that I can tell when one’s happening. I’m like a one-woman survivor’s group. A really hot one-woman survivor’s group.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not have relationship problems with Jay,” Zdenka said. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So it is Jay!” Dancer squealed. “I knew it!” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not have relationship problems with Jay,” Zdenka said, “because I do not have a relationship with him.” > >     Kat winced. “Ouch.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hold on!” Dancer objected. “You and Hatty, you’re the original love bunnies. Well, not the original love-bunnies, because Yo locked them in spiffy’s bedroom that time and we had to get a truck to ship them all off to live in the wilds of Idaho. But you know what I mean. I’ve rarely seen two people so into each other as you and Jay. Heck, when you two got dropped into some kind of dimensional elder-gate thing it was your love for each other that created that alternate realm thingie where you were married.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Was that the problem?” Kat guessed, seeing Zdenka’s face. “You were married?” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We thought we were,” Rabid Wolf agreed. “It was like living in dream. We were together, and we lived happily. It was wonderful.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So you know how good it could be,” Dancer encouraged the goddess of the North. “It’s like when some people live together to see if they’re compatible. Sometimes it turns out they’re not, and you never see your portable CD player again. Other times you find that he’s The One, and you live happily ever after. Apparently.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Apparently?” Kat caught the edge in Dancer’s voice. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Did I mention that Harry and Shep aren’t seeing each other any more?” Dancer asked. “Well, obviously they’re seeing each other because Harry’s working on Lair Legion: The Musical and Shep’s going on tour with them so they’ll see each other every day. The tour I’m tagging along on now I’ve lost my powers, just because. But they’re not seeing each other in the seeing each other naked sense anymore. Shep doesn’t sleep with people she works with. Same with me. That’s why I don’t sleep with Vizh now.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Plus he is your brother,” Kat pointed out. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, yes. Adopted. Now. You really had to be there for the crossover for it to make any sense.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not know what to say,” confessed Rabid Wolf. “What Jay and I had was very… intense.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“That can happen,” admitted Kat. “Say you get zapped to an alien planet and have to survive for months while they hunt you like vermin, and you happen to meet some amnesiac guy who’s so… so what you need just then, so hero and so shining, and you end up making a complete fool of yourself and taking him to bed even though you hardly know him and then you find he’s actually a superhero and you don’t know where to look because this is so not what you’re really like but by then…” She petered out. “It can happen,” she said, getting a grip. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“But you and Dom are fine,” Dancer argued. “You have your piece of wood.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Piece of wood?” Zdenka’s English wasn’t that good. She wasn’t really up on all the euphemisms. “This is sex, yes?” > >     Kat blushed. “It’s a pelmet, actually. California pine. For the bedroom of Dom’s house. It’s really beautiful, so well crafted, not just the pelmet I mean but everything, and it makes me happy thinking about it.” She realised she wasn’t clarifying things very well. “It’s made by dwarves,” she explained. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I do not think my English…” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dom and Kat are thinking about setting up house together,” Dancer translated. “They’re at the picking furnishings stage, and Kat’s kind of gushy about the domestic details. And we are in no way jealous that she’s moving towards a happy stable relationship with the only man on the planet interested in settling down and raising a family.” > >     Kat winced. “Well… Dom may not be able to give me kids.” > >     Zdenka’s eyes widened. “So Miiri was correct?” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It’s a side-effect of that process that gave him his powers, I think. It’s apparently very classified.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Most guys try to classify stuff like that,” Dancer observed. “Can he still…?” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes. Lots of exercise, okay. Lots of it. Burning calories every night. But if we want children we may have to adopt.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You could adopt Glory,” suggested Rabid Wolf. She didn’t have the same species boundary perceptions as most people. “You have a future.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why don’t you?” demanded Dancer. > >     Zdenka looked confused. “I do not think Glory would want me as a parent, Dancer.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I mean, why don’t you and Jay have a future? You were so good together, even in your dream.” > >     Rabid Wolf shook her head. “I am Zvesti Zdrugo, goddess of the north, avatar of Candia. I cannot stay too long from my country or I become sick and so does it. And though I am exiled from my home, I am still having of husband there. Dmitri. Captain Mud.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey, we have this fine tradition here in the U.S.,” Kat said. “It’s called divorce. One in two couples try it these days.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“In Candia this requires the permission of the Commissar,” Zdenka explained. “I do not think he is too happy to give it to me just now.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“On account of you jilting him at the altar just before he annulled your marriage to Dmitri and made you Mrs Commissar of Candia,” remembered Dancer. “Yeah, that kind of muddies the waters.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dmitri did not mean to do that,” Zdenka said. “Sometimes he loses control of his powers.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“But it’s not unsolvable, right?” Kat demanded. “I mean, if you and Jay want to be together…” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Jay’s a straight-arrow,” Dancer said. “He won’t go against his principles, but he won’t let you down either. What did he say to you after you both got your memories back and you returned to Earth?” > >     Rabid Wolf still gazed to sea. “Nothing.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Nothing?” Kat asked. “Nothing nothing?” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“He was hurt,” Rabid Wolf explained. “He had been tortured by the Parody Master. Tortured more than he would tell. Then he had been given a little paradise. I think it was paradise. Then he had to throw it away. Coming back to the real world again, after everything that happened…” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Second time for Hat, because he had a similar ordeal with Sorcy,” added Dancer. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Coming back, it was… cold.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So what have you said to each other?” Kat insisted. “You must have talked. You’ve spent time together.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Jay is very busy with Lair Legion. There are many things to put right after big war.” > >     Dancer looked round. “Okay, I’m going to march right into his office and…” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“No.” Rabid Wolf caught her arm. “Please do not. If Jay wants to talk with me, he will talk. If this is over, then it is over. If he needs time, I will give time. I love him. It may be I cannot have him. But it is for Jay to decide.” > >     Kat and Dancer caught each other’s gaze. “I thought I had boyfriend problems,” Dancer said. > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You do,” Katarina answered, seeing through the façade. “Premiere died, didn’t he?” > >     Dancer swallowed hard. “Not everybody is cut out for happy endings like you, Kat.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Soon I will have to go home, one way or another,” Zdenka said. “Going away helps sometimes, I think.” > >     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It does,” agreed Dancer. “I’m going to Europe. What I might have had with Victor if things had turned out different… that’s staying here.” > >     Kat blew out of her cheeks. “Well, this just confirms my view of jogging,” she told them. “It’s dangerous.” > >     The three women looked out over the ocean, to see if they could glimpse the future. > > > Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2007 reserved by Sarah Shepherdson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2007 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Sarah Shepherdson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. > >

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