It occurs to me that what I’m most worried about is not so much the possible end of Spider-Man’s marriage, as much as it is the end of his romantic relationship with Mary Jane Watson, and her knowledge of his secret identity, because those things would spell the return of a Silver Age Superman-style “love triangle” - between the hero, his would-be girlfriend and his alter-ego – to the Spider-Man status quo, and I’m sorry, I don’t care how many superhero comic book fans love the shit of such “love triangles,” because they suck cocks and are Made Of Fail, and they always have done and been.

With Superman, the “love triangle” was at least borne out of an understandable desperation – by the 1950s, the comics had turned him into a character who could literally do anything, living in a world that, natural disasters and supervillains aside, was nigh-perfect, so since the guy’s only remaining weaknesses were glowing green rocks and a snoopy female reporter who somehow couldn’t see past a pair of glasses as a disguise, it was a safe bet that every other story would eventually wind up being about Kryptonite or Lois Lane almost discovering Superman’s secret identity, yet the fuck again. You can’t have drama without problems, after all.

The problem with this is, when Spider-Man made his debut, he already had nothing but problems – he was attending school, dodging bullies, maintaining friendships, chasing girls, worrying about his aunt’s health, feeling guilty about his uncle’s death, and pinching pennies just to make ends meet, all at the same time that he was working as an on-call superhero, 24 hours a day and seven days a week, with nary a Fortress of Solitude or a Batcave to afford him even a temporary respite from it all. Moreover, unlike Superman’s Metropolis, Spider-Man’s New York was a city where archvillains such as the Kingpin couldn’t simply be locked up in jail, like Lex Luthor almost always was in the end, if only because Stan Lee included just enough of the real world in its fictional counterpart to acknowledge that it wasn’t a perfect place.

Superheroes, like any other heroes (or other protagonists, for that matter), need problems to deal with, but part of being superheroes is that they also need reasons why their fans would want to be them. Superman was denied Lois Lane’s love for decades, but having the powers of a god was surely not an insignificant consolation prize. Batman saw his parents get killed and he lives in a city that seems, on occasion, to be an almost incurable cesspool of crime, but his costume, arsenal of gadgets and non-superhuman skills are among the most awesome around. Spider-man … well, we’re told a lot of times that he’s really smart, and his superhuman abilities would definitely be fun, but other than the fact that he gets to make fun of people (and started doing so back in an era when most superheroes seemed almost inherently incapable of intentional humor), there’s not that many reasons why anyone would actually want to be this guy, unless he ultimately gets the girl.

In the X-Men comic books, no matter how bad things have gotten, often implausibly so, for mutants as a whole, and even when Xavier’s mansion has been a swirling cauldron of interpersonal drama, there’s usually still been a distinct undercurrent of, “The whole world may hate and fear us, but at least we’ve got each other to lean on.” Considering that the larger Marvel Universe is now a thousand times worse for superheroes in general than it’s ever been for mutants in particular - parallel universes and alternate futures notwithstanding – just being a regular superhero would surely be bad enough that it would require the compensation of having someone to serve as your shelter from the storms, and Spider-Man is the original hard-luck superhero, which means that, as Marvel is so wont to remind us, things should be going even worse for him than for everyone else. Again, though, there still needs to be some upside to being Spider-Man, or else, what’s the point? If Marvel wants a Spider-Man whose life is nothing but endless pain and despair … well, that’s what they’ve got Daredevil for.

So, Joe Quesada and company, if you want “drama,” then stop trying to split up Spider-Man and Mary Jane, and start focusing on the fact that they both have plenty of other problems to generate drama, both superhero-related and non. Besides, reverting their relationship to the moth-eaten cliché of “Oh noes! How can I has costume change into Spider-Man, without Mary Jane finding out MY SEEKRIT IDENTITY!!!111eleventy-one” kind of goes against the whole “realistic” flavor you’re going for … but then again, so does writing Der Iron Führer as though his traitorous fascism makes him a hero.

Hey, here’s a fuckin’ thought; if you want “realism” and “drama” both, do like Stan Lee always said was the point of the Marvel Universe, and look outside your window, because unless you’re blind, you’ll see that, even for a superhero, just trying to exist in a world that’s anything like our own would be the source of plenty of problems. No, not every problem can be solved, but counter to what Civil War would seem to assert, not every problem is unsolvable, either. There’s a huge world of untapped potential, between the bright-and-shiny contrived “drama” of the Silver Age Superman’s “love triangle” and the grim-and-gritty, but no less contrived, “realism” of superheroes’ (and superhumans’) civil liberties and most basic human rights being oppressed in the name of might makes right registration, and YOU FUCKING FAIL for not recognizing the rich spectrum that exists between those two extremes.

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First of all, I'd suggest you actually wait and see what the Brand New Day titles will be before telling us that the sky is falling. We don't know that the comics are going to relapse into Silver Age love triangles. Information about what happens in One More Day with Peter and Mary Jane is still very vague, and more of the commentary is about Joe Quesada's interview opinions on the marriage than the actual books themselves.

Second of all, I have yet to see any compelling reasons given as to why Peter and MJ should be married, and plenty of reasons why they shouldn't be. Peter is a hard luck hero, particularly so in his original Steve Ditko incarnation. That's the character's appeal-- that people can relate to him, not that they want to be him. To give him that constant of a beautiful and understanding spouse wrecks that; we already know that as a cartoon character he's immortal, and since he now has marital bliss ( permanent marital bliss, since he'll never be divorced or widowed ), his personal life is good and we no longer need care about him.

Finally, if you want to give Peter some good things in his life to balance out all the bad, there are plenty of ways to do it without something as glaringly obtrusive to the character's appeal. Give him a new job that actually has benefits. Give him friends, possibly even those who know his secret. Hell, give him a different girlfriend, not a bland girl next door type, but someone with a personality. These take more imagination than having him come home to a warm bed with an attractive wife, the imagination you scorn Marvel for allegedly not having, but they'd be worth it.

* And hello again, everyone. It's nice to stop in again. "

Ok, maybe not all.

If the tea leaves are correct and the plan is to have some great cosmic muckity muck undo the really stupid plotline where Peter's secret identity becomes secret again, I have no problem with them undoing the marriage. In heroic fiction there is usually some price for these grand gestures that help the good guys, and no more MJ to come home to may be it. And I really won't miss the marriage, as I think it takes away from the core of Spidey's character: that he's a schmuck with an awesome responsibility and not a places to go to for support.

Hopefully they'll get him off the Avengers too, but I won't hold my breath.

Part of Spider-Man's appeal to me was growing up with him. No, I wasn't around back in the 60's, but I started reading reprints of the Lee/Ditko works first, then read mostly reprint comics as I grew up (how I loved my Spider-Man Megazine!). And a logical part of growing up is getting married. I still wish they had kept baby May around, as moving into parenthood would have been the next step.

Now, I realize that for new readers they can't grow up with Spidey the same way as he's already reached adulthood, but for us "old-timers" it would be a shame to undo momentous events in Peter's life like his marriage, much like it was a shame to kill off his child and to bring back Aunt May.

>Peter is a hard luck hero, particularly so in his original Steve Ditko incarnation. That's the character's appeal-- that people can relate to him, not that they want to be him. To give him that constant of a beautiful and understanding spouse wrecks that; we already know that as a cartoon character he's immortal, and since he now has marital bliss ( permanent marital bliss, since he'll never be divorced or widowed ), his personal life is good and we no longer need care about him.

Considering how many marriages are on the rocks or end in divorce these days, I fail to see how a married Peter is guaranteed a good personal life. Marriage brings a whole new set of concerns and problems.


How does Peter dating different women all the time more imaginative? Peter's been there, done that. I'd rather see a cast member grow over the years than just constantly add new ones just for the sake of Peter dating them.

Peter has one of the greatest supporting casts in comics, when utilized. Jonah, Robbie, Ben Urich, Glory Grant, Betty Brant (Leeds, whatever she goes by these days), Flash Thompson, all are great characters who have carried their own storylines within Spidey's book. Use them! Bring in new people, cycle some out, but there's no reason the book can't be about Peter and Mary Jane and then their supporting cast.

Spider-Man is probably the only superhero who I think of as their civilian identity first. When I was a kid, I read the book because it was Spider-Man. As I got older, I wanted to read about Peter. I didn't even care in Spider-Man 2 if Peter put on the costume or not, because I care abotu Peter Parker. And part of Peter's life is his marriage to Mary Jane.

The best Spidey stories are Peter-driven. Unfortunately too many of them get undone or tarnished later (death of Aunt May, that whole Gwen Stacey/Norman Osborn twin thing, ugh). If Peter is the everyman superhero, he shouldn't get big cosmic resets. He should have to live with his past like everyone else.

As to the unmasking, if it had been utilized properly, it could have led to years of stories. Unfortunately the full potential hasn't even been realized.

I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across well, but this'll have to do for now.


You need to stop in more often!

~Hat~

The problem with conventional narrative is that its usually based on the quest of the journey. It often ends at "Boy gets Girl." All the drama of the emotional journey of romance to consummation is easy to capture. The domestic situation that follows is much harder to be creative about.

Comics are often shorthand stories anyway, and the format isn't good at conveying the adult nuances of stable loving relationships. It's easier to be lazy and go for the quick win of tragedy.