Untold Tales of the Lair Legion #352: Bookkeeping Previously: The New Pantheon has fallen and the Lair Legion has triumphed. It’s all there in Untold Tales #351: The End of Superheroes - which clearly it wasn’t. But there were revelations that required an epilogue. And then there was an epilogue that demanded promotion to a full chapter. One shouldn’t try to deny epilogues that assertive. During a contretemps with the now-late Iscanean Went, God of Retcons, Baroness von Zemo and Sir Mumphrey Wilton encountered a room that laid out the Hooded Hood’s plans. As you might expect, the Baroness took notes. She has questions. There may be a quiz. Or a diagram. You have been warned. The Legion have discovered that their new member, Citizen Z, is actually the ghost of former superhero Laurie “Lisette” Leyton, now Amnesia, spirit of Herringcarp Asylum, possessing the comatose burn-victim form of her best friend, schoolteacher Beth Shellett. Since Beth and Laurie are both ex-girlfriends of Goldeneyed and Amnesia was once the lover of the Hooded Hood, and since Silicone Sally helped Baroness von Zemo to send Lisette off to her death in the past anyhow, there are a few tangles yet to be straightened out. Let’s go there… Who's Who in the Parodyverse ***     There were chambers beneath the Lair Mansion that predated the house above by millennia. Few could find them and fewer could gain access. Goldeneyed managed the navigation through the ancient carved vaults. Marie Murcheson unsealed the iron doors that blocked the way. Vinnie carried the torch.     â€œI could make light,” Liu Xi Xian pointed out. “My elemental powers have returned.”     â€œBest not to yet,” her boyfriend/jobbing occultist advised. “You’re still kind of hooked up to the Void Spectre’s void. That’s part of why we’re down here.”     â€œIt’s spooky,” Citizen Z pointed out. The spirit of Herringcarp wasn’t used to being spooked. “Can’t you feel the chill?”     â€œCan’t say it’s comfortable,” agreed Sir Mumphrey Wilton. “Can you tell us why you’re dragging us down here yet, young De Soth?”     â€œAnd why just us?” Liu Xi wondered. “Why not Yuki or Sally or Hatty or the others?”     â€œWell, this is a bit private,” the young occultist admitted, “so I only brought the people who were need-to-know.” He turned a last corner and found one last set of battered, scratched mausoleum doors. A worn etched message read ‘Post CCCLXX Annos Paterbo’ - when 370 years have passed – and lower down ‘Nequaquam Parody’ - The Parody Should Not Exist.     â€œWe’re here.” Vinnie confirmed.     â€œGood?” asked CZ. “Where is here? Some kind of sepulchre?”     â€œThe tomb of Visionatus Improbablus,” Vinnie announced. “You know, founder of the Improbable College?”     â€œOf course,” agreed Marie Murcheson, as the others exchanged looks of greater or lesser puzzlement. “He was a Great Man, they say.”     â€œHeard mutterings of him from the League of Improbable Gentlemen back in the 90s,” admitted Mumphrey. “The 1890s that is. Forget the details. Miss Darkness had a new dress at the time. Most fetching.” There had been various iterations of heroes throughout history before the current Lair Legion had become Earth’s champions. CZ found her fragmented memory contained information about some of them.    â€œThe Asylum – my Asylum – remembers them, the Confraternity of Improbables. But it believes that their founder was not real.”     â€œThat’s what they say about our Visionary!” Liu Xi giggled.     â€œYeah…” Vinnie admitted. “Moving on… Marie, could you open the way in there for us? There’s very few things can break in there without major mystic mojo and huge lengthy ramifications.”     The Lair Banshee paused. “I’m not sure if I should. Or want to. For a while my stolen bones were in there. Back before I was restored to life by the Lair Mansion’s Celestian defences.” The 19th century girl stared around the gloomy annex. “This area, this place… there’s some very delicate balances at work. Links to the tidal Lighthouse on our shore, to the Celestian secrets laced into the island, to things so old I can’t even put them in words.”     â€œTemporal folds as well,” Mumphrey noted. “Complicated stuff. Recursive footnotes, probably.”     â€œIf Vinnie thinks it’s important…” Liu Xi insisted.     â€œIt is,” the jobbing occultist promised. “I don’t intend to disrupt anything. Not even a footnote. Just to do a bit of necessary book-keeping, okay?”     Marie nodded and opened the tomb. ***     â€œI want you to know that this is nothing personal,” the Widget told her sometimes-boyfriend ManMan.     The Elvis-impersonating sometimes superhero looked down at his leg where a shiny new band of high-technology equipment was clamped on and counting down. “It feels personal,” he admitted. “Is this about what I said about your Game of Thrones cosplay? Because I’m really not sure I have the build for a Drogo, Alice – I mean Khaleesi.”     â€œIt has nothing to do with that, although my widgets were very disappointed after I made them all cute little dragon costumes. No, this is purely business.”     â€œYou think Knifey can’t cut through this… weird thigh clamp thing you just locked me in?”     â€œDon’t bring me into this,” ManMan’s hereditary talking knife muttered. “It was bad enough when you were being Han and Leia. And don’t get me started on Spike and Buffy…”     â€œYou’d blow your leg off, Joseph Pepper” the Widget told her boyfriend triumphantly. “It’s set to explode if it gets cut open.”     â€œIt’s down to 156 already!” ManMan objected. “155… 154…”     Alice White took another look at the rapidly-diminishing countdown. “Oops. I may have misplaced a decimal somewhere. Drat!” She looked around for hard cover.     â€œKnifey!” Joe wailed.     â€œPush me into the ventral port that charged the priming mechanism,” the blade instructed. “That should discharge the timer battery and short-circuit the detonator.”     ManMan grabbed Knifey and made the suggested correction. The thigh-band fizzed, coughed out a little cloud of smoke, and dropped to the floor.     â€œBother,” the Widget frowned. “I hate it when I get outsmarted by a billion year old kitchen implement.”     â€œBut it happens so often,” Joe pointed out maliciously. “Now will you explain why, in the middle of a perfectly normal discussion about how I don’t love you because I won’t grow a braided beard, you suddenly decided I needed an explosive leg-ring?”     Alice looked a little sheepish. “I’d have shared the reward with you afterwards,” she promised. “I mean if you’d lived. Plus, if I hadn’t done what she said and rendered you harmless then we’d probably both end up dead. So really I was doing you a favour, until you and Knifey ruined it.”     â€œReward? Favour?” Joe puzzled. Then one word caught his attention. “Dead?”     The Widget shrugged. “A little bit, yeah. Look, do you think maybe you could tie that restraint band back on and pretend to be my helpless captive? Please? I did the Leia slave costume.”     â€œWho’s the ‘she’ you mentioned?” Knifey cut in before the young couple could start haggling about cosplay scenarios again.     Alice looked more panicked. “Eeep. She’ll be here to gloat over Joe’s helplessness any minute…”     â€œNow,” declared the Baroness from the doorway. “She’ll be here any minute now.” ***     The interior of the tomb wasn’t that impressive. A smallish chamber contained a fairly plain sarcophagus with eroded diamond patterns on the sides.     Vinnie sat on it and called everyone else inside. Liu Xi entered curiously. The oppressive atmosphere outside was notably absent from the dingy interior. The tomb of Visionatus Improbablus smelled faintly of rabbit droppings and burned toast, that somehow leant it an almost domestic feel. Had there been a pair of slippers neatly lined up beside the sarcophagus they would not have seemed out of place.     â€œThis place feels… comforting,” the elementalist admitted. “Like people care about it.”     Citizen V found a slightly-charred yellow rag abandoned in one corner. “They have strange ways of caring,” she mused.     Mumphrey frowned at the whirring dials on his pocketwatch. “Hmph. Deuced awful tangle of timelines in here. Can see it’s partly your fault, young Goldeneyed, from your rampage through the past with Lisa. But there’s also some interference from a couple of HV incarnations, the Legion’s trek back to interfere with Miss Murcheson’s history, and some other snarls that haven’t bedded properly yet. Are you sure about this, young de Soth?”     â€œSure-ish. That’s as good as it gets on some levels with magic. But on the bright side, all that confusion that your pocketwatch is disliking is also playing havoc with anyone scrying us. Even folks peering in from beyond the universe, or from a secret base on the Moon, or using a certain reflective primal artefact.”     â€œThe backstory of this place always confused me,” Marie admitted. “And I’m the Lair Banshee.”     â€œI’m disconnected from Herringcarp here,” CZ sensed. She shuddered again, like an addict coming down.     Vinnie asked Marie to close the reseal the door with everyone inside the tomb. Only then did the acting sorcerer supreme relax a little. “Okay, here we are. So here’s the problem: thing is, to stop the New Pantheon I had to link Liu Xi up to the deep void, the oblivion beyond the Parodyverse we know, where the Void Spectre lurks. That was fine for clearing the immediate danger, so two thumbs up for that, but there’s still a bit of contaminated void in her, and she won’t be safe until we get rid of it.”     â€œI’m fine,” lied Liu Xi. “Nothing I can’t handle, anyway.”     â€œBest not push it, eh m’dear?” Mumph advised. “Found it best to let the wizard-chappies potter on as they like. Unless they’re the sacrificin’-virgin sort of wizard and then they need to be thumped on the snoot like a navvy on payday.”     Liu Xi looked about again, trying to track the things she saw with her mundane and extra senses. “But why this dismal place?” The green and yellow wall plaster had long since flaked away. The stones that lay exposed seemed familiar.     Vinnie tapped the chipped sarcophagus. “It’s about as secure a location as we can get that still has links to time and destiny. Any nearer to the Celestian power beneath Parody Island and we’d be overwhelmed by that, right Bry?”     â€œPretty much, yeah.” The teleporter had first-hand painful experience of channelling the energies left behind by the great Space Robots. Even the mere footprint of their presence had almost burned him out – and given him enough power to shield the whole planet from invasion by the Parody Master. “So what’s the plan?”     â€œWe bleed off the void by getting Liu Xi to activate some other causal strands we brought with us,” Vinnie revealed. “The Hood’s retcons wrap all round CZ, but with Mumph’s temporal pocketwatch and Liu Xi burning off her unwanted void to make other connections we might be able to do something clever.”     â€œSomething clever like what?” Citizen Z asked nervously. She wasn’t sure what would happen if she was parted from the Hood’s alterations.     â€œHey, the Hood himself gave me the idea for this with what he said earlier today. Will you trust me, CZ?”     â€œWell…”     â€œIf so, take your mask off.”     The spirit of Herringcarp hesitated. “I’m occupying the body of a burn victim,” she pointed out.     â€œA burn victim called Beth Shellett, who was one of us,” Goldeneyed reminded her. “She was crippled and sent into a coma fighting the good fight. She was supposedly healed by the Baroness’ nanotechnology, only for it to fail when she was no longer of interest to her. Beth was a good person, and she was hurt in so many ways she didn’t deserve.”     â€œYou liked her,” CZ understood.     â€œI loved her. She left because she couldn’t face all the horrors that this kind of live inflicts on people who date superheroes. She didn’t run far enough and fast enough.” Bry took a deep breath. “She matters to me. Still. A lot.” “Splendid lass,” Sir Mumphrey agreed. “We owe Miss Shellett a debt of honour.”     â€œBookkeeping,” Vinnie repeated. “This is where we settle up.” ***     The clean-up damage control in the aftermath of a national crisis where every lockable item had been sealed was both expensive and diverse. Ham-Boy and Silicone Sally were assigned to the Hell’s Bathroom clean up where the world’s meatiest hero was helping Reverend Mac Fleetwood with an emergency refugee cook-out and the flexible ex-felon was checking burned-out building rubble using her malleable stretching form to squirm through wreckage.     It was Hell’s Bathroom. Of course locked doors had led to blazing tenements.     Sally squeezed out of the last of a row of charred ruins and examined her costume. “Okay, well we can tell Al B, that we’ve discovered the limits of his stay-clean improbably molecules,” she assessed.     Ham-Boy handed her a wiener in a bun. Another good thing about Hell’s Kitchen was the proliferation of burning barrels suitable for outdoor cooking. “Mac thinks we’re nearly done here. It would be okay to take a supper break.”     Sally regarded the proffered food with mild suspicion. “Don’t you make this stuff out of… you?” she hesitated. “I mean, like this is a by-product of Ham-Boy?”     â€œMy meat vision doesn’t work like that at all,” HB assured her. “It’s complicated. I haven’t read the whole manual. I don’t actually have a manual. But that’s just what it seems to be. With ketchup.” He looked down to his belt. “I could probably holster a bottle there, and maybe a mustard dispenser.”     â€œYou think about that way too hard,” Sally warned him, but she took a bite of the hot dog. “Hmm. You give good sausage. I’ll be sure to tell my friends.”     Whatever HB might have replied was interrupted by the blazing light from above as an aircraft-carrier-sized helicarrier decloaked.     â€œFinally!” a member of the crowd proclaimed, “A proper Hell’s Bathroom law enforcement initiative, just like the Mayor of GMY was calling for!” Then he thought again and hastened away before the napalming started.     â€œThat’s SPUD,” Silicone Sally recognised. All her instincts told her to run now before the Super-menace Principal Undercover Directorate caught her. “Why would they turn up here now, hovering all threatening over the slums like that? Your sausage is good, HB, but not that good.”     â€œThey’re just a diversion, kid,” Dan Drury, the organisation’s director said from close behind them. “Ms Rezilyant, we need ta talk.” ***     Amy Aston set aside her No 6 money-wrench and peered at the inverted form of ManMan who hung from the main door security apparatus of Extraordinary Endeavour Enterprises’ converted firehouse. “Why are you carrying Zemo technology?” she asked suspiciously.     Joe Pepper dangled by his ankles and wondered if he could reach up far enough to insert Knifey in another convenient access port. “It’s mostly because I wouldn’t be a barbarian horse-lord,” he confided.     Miss Framlicker joined Amy looking up at the captured Elvis impersonator. “Is that Mr Pepper clogging up valuable security equipment?” the EEE administrator asked. “Is there a special reason for it?”     â€œNothing coherent,” Amy sniffed. “So he’s probably not a doppelganger. It really is him.”     â€œJoe is just having a bad day, that’s all,” Knifey explained. “It turns out that his date had accepted an undisclosed sum from Baroness Elizabeth von Zemo to incapacitate him so that he’d come over here bearing some kind of hologram projector to initiate a kind of conference call. Because supervillains refuse to do Skype.”     Al B. Harper joined the spectators. “Hello, Joe,” he called. “How are the vibrational muscle dampeners working on your gastrocnemius and soleus muscles? Would you say you felt more depleted or nauseous? I have a survey form around here somewhere.”     â€œThe Baroness wants to consult with you,” ManMan explained. “She wants to run something past you without either, and I quote, ‘Stepping into that nest of mad science where Harper and his cronies perpetually discover new ways to torture the laws of physics, or allowing him and his interfering pack of freaks anywhere near the critical technology systems of Shloss Shreckhausen on pain of obliteration’. Also, my knees are going to sleep.”     â€œI’ve scanned the holograph projector he brought,” Amy reported. “It’s defused now.”     â€œElizabeth von Zemo wouldn’t want to disappoint us by not including some kind of death trap,” Miss Framlicker considered. “Well, let’s see what she wants, shall we? That way I can start working up a consultation bill.”     â€œMaybe I could get let down from these clamps and cables?” ManMan asked plaintively. He felt both depleted and nauseous. ***     â€œWhat do you mean, bookkeeping?” Marie puzzled. She glanced for guidance at Liu Xi, who understood the modern world and had more experience of its strangeness.     â€œHe means he’s being cryptic. Confess what you’re up to, Vinnie.”     â€œOf course I’m being cryptic. It’s a crypt,” the jobbing occultist pointed out. “What I mean is that there are several problems plaguing this little search party so I’m hoping to find ways to cancel them out. And I don’t want any of the people – or things – that would get peeved at me for trying this to know what we’re doing.”     â€œHence the tomb,” Mumphrey recognised.     â€œOne reason, yeah. But also, here we’re about as liminal as we can be and not get lost in our own backstories, okay? We can use that. We harness surplus deep void that’s stalking Liu Xi and that lets us apply Sir Mumphrey’s chronometer in ways we can’t usually. G-Eyed is the conduit.”     â€œWhich will hurt,” Bry predicted from experience.     â€œSorry, yes. Liu Xi’s part will too. Marie’s here to stop the mystic firewalls from interfering. We wind back Beth’s body in time to when she was functioning on the Baroness’ nano-tech. To her last good configuration, so to speak. We halt the process there for good. Beth Shellett is healed.”     â€œAnd… and awake?” Citizen Z asked.     â€œYes,” Vinnie agreed. “You won’t have a mindless coma-body to possess any more.”     â€œI… I see.”     â€œWait,” Liu Xi objected. “This repairs Beth but it kills CZ?”     â€œIt can’t kill me,” confessed the indwelling ghost. “I’m already dead.” She peeled away the black and purple mask to reveal the scarred face beneath.     â€œNo,” Liu Xi denied. “That body is near death but you are keeping it alive by animating it, keeping it functioning…”     â€œI’m not talking about Beth’s shell. I’m talking about me, the person haunting it. I died a long time ago. I was displaced back a couple of hundred years by… well, I don’t know how. But I died in Herringcarp and became its avatar.” Goldeneyed pulled off his own mask to reveal he was pale as a spectre himself. “Hold on. You were originally from this time but you went back and…” He shook his head to clear his mind. “When we were all getting psi-zapped by that underworld Elder Brain, Silicone Sally was repeating dialogue from her past career. She said something about helping the Baroness send someone to the past, but that… that was…” “Here it comes,” breathed Vinnie. “Laurie? Laurie Leyton!” G-Eyed swallowed hard. “Oh, Laurie…”     Bry took a step forward but Citizen Z shied back. “Yes, I’m Laurie. Or I was. I don’t remember everything. For a long time I remembered nothing.” She hugged herself. “Soon, without Beth’s body I shall be Amnesia again, forever.”     â€œNow hold on…” objected Sir Mumphrey.     â€œIt’s right,” Laurie insisted. “I died. Fortunately I don’t remember all the details of that, either. I died, but Beth deserves to live. You know it, Bry knows it.”     â€œIt shouldn’t be either/or!” Goldeneyed objected.     â€œIt shouldn’t,” Vinnie agreed. “But I kind of think it is.”     Citizen Z forced herself to take Bry’s hand. It was the first voluntary contact she’d had outside combat in… Amnesia couldn’t remember. “Look, I… I once wanted to be a hero, right? I tried. Maybe I even was for a while. I wasn’t that good at it. It turned bad. I screwed up with you, Bry, and then with all of it. We never even found where our baby went to in time and space, did we? But I learned a few things, I hope. What kind of hero wouldn’t die for her best friend, eh?” She blinked back tears. “Let me die a hero.”     â€œBut to be a ghost, all alone,” Marie almost whispered, “and not in the Lair Mansion but in cruel insane Herringcarp…”     â€œI’ll sleep, mostly,” CZ insisted. “You know how it is, Marie. I’ll forget. After I while I won’t care. I’ll just… fade. But Beth will live.”     G-Eyed shook his head. “No. I want to save Beth. But I want to save you too, Laurie. There must be another way.”     â€œI’ve done as much book-keeping as I can,” Vinnie apologised. “There’s no more scores I can balance. And the choice has to be Laurie’s. I think I can get Beth restored. I can separate Liu Xi from the toxic void that will otherwise destroy her. There won’t be a Citizen Z any more. Laurie plays the price.”     Liu Xi bit her lip. “I knew you shouldn’t have gone to the Void Spectre like that,” she told Vinnie. “You saved me but that set up… this.”     â€œIf I say ‘No’ then I’m dooming Liu Xi Xian too, right?” CZ guessed. “Don’t deny it, Vinnie, I can read your aura. If I fail to do the right thing then I don’t just condemn Beth, I leave Liu Xi open to the Void Spectre, don’t I?”     The acting sorcerer supreme nodded. “But I knew there was no risk of you doing that,” he confessed.     â€œBecause you knew Miss Leyton’s heart,” recognised Sir Mumphrey. “A dashed noble heart, whatever has befallen her. One of the best.”     â€œWell then,” said Laurie, trying to be brave, “I’d better say my goodbyes properly this time. Say goodbye to the Legion for me. Send word to Val and Derek if you can. Tell them that Hatty and Vizh have a tough job for them sometime, bringing back my friend Wangmundo. Give CSFB! a cheeky pinch on the bottom. Tell Lisa… well, I guess she’s Destroyer of Tales now, so maybe I’ll be able to tell her myself at the end. Keep looking for our little girl, Bry. Don’t give up.” She gave Goldeneyed a little shove on the chest. “And Bry, if you don’t ask Beth out again and make it work this time I shall find a way to come back and haunt you regardless.”     â€œGotcha,” agreed Goldeneyed, choking back tears. “Lis…”     â€œHey, I was dying to get into the Legion. Turns out I did. And what a thing it was. I made it. Only one of the sidekicks that made good, except maybe FA. Best thing ever. The real deal.” She turned suddenly to Vinnie. “Get on with this before I start crying, will you? I’m supposed to be a supernatural horror, for ^£*!’s sake. Do your hoodoo stuff.”     â€œYou agree?” Vinnie asked formally. “And the rest of you? You’ll help?”     â€œI don’t like it,” Liu Xi warned, “but it has to be Laurie’s choice.”     â€œIt is better that she has a voice,” Marie agreed.     â€œIt’s not fair,” Mumphrey confessed, “but it’s the closest to fair we’re ever likely to get with this, dash it.”     â€œDo you agree?” Vinnie asked CZ again. “Do you consent?”     â€œI agree,” declared Laurie Leyton, Lisette, Amnesia, the spirit of Herringcarp, Citizen Z, of the Lair Legion. ***     It took only a few moments to balance the books, and then Laurie was gone. *** Next time (yes, it appears there’s a next time): The Hooded Hood gets a visitation from the heroes, EEE gets to consult with the Baroness, Silicone Sally and Ham-Boy get an interview with SPUD, and the Widget gets a new costume at last. We finally conclude the epilogue in Untold Tales #353: After the Bookkeeping. The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom Who's Who in the Parodyverse Where's Where in the Parodyverse *** Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2016 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2016 to their creators. This is a work of parody. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works are in fair-use parody and do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. Any proceeds from this work are distributed to charity. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.

There's a hidden epilogue in there where Liu Xi is angry with Vinnie on the surface for what happened, but she's really angry with herself for not being strong enough (not needing the "special" void) to avoid this situation entirely.

Either way, she'll probably do a lot of crying while alone. But not in front of anyone, because she would feel it's horrible to let anyone feel like she made the wrong decision - especially Goldeneyed.

They aren't Dead, just Lee is! The Moon Public Library still continues to operate as it did when it's former head librarian was among the land of the living. All through they did have to deal with the IOL trying to repossess the Library but that was pretty much resolved eventually. Ok... It's still a problem. Cosmic Subpoenas, Frequent Material Centurian attacks, nasty voice mail messages. You know, the basic stuff. What to do after Lee dies is even written into the Moon Public Library's own charter since Lee does have a habit of getting himself offed. As far as I know, no one has gone into the Lair Mansion's File Room since Lee's passing & they really should

In regards to Sally's question, "Does Ham-Boy create the meat he uses from himself?" It is complicated as stated. Also if there was a "manual" it would have been one written by Ham-Boy himself or member of his family. Actually if I really think about it: If there was a Ham-Boy manual, it would have most likely been written by Hogarth Albert "Al" Harris, Fred's Grandfather. Ham-Boy's powers don't start with him (that's mostly like a thing from his father, presummed dead Air Force pilot Roger McCorkle Harris) but Fred's desire to become Ham-Boy does start with Grandpa Al. Fred's original training for becoming a Super Heroes is partly based off of the training his grandfather received when he was in WWII. It's also where the hame Ham-Boy comes from. But all those things are for another time.

Where does the Meat come from? Ham-Boy doesn't exactly know. The current theory among the Harris family is that the meat comes from another dimension. A dimension filled with prepared meat. The "Meat Vision" Ham-Boy uses opens a small crack between the dimensions which allows meat flows through. As far as Ham-Boy knows he can't insert anything into that dimension only extract things from it.

Oh Laurie

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.
.
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*tear*

This resolution has been a long time coming. The characters deserve it don't they?

Of course, it is still pending the resolution for Silicone Sally and Baroness given all that they have been involved in this mess. The Baroness was quite a return to type here. As much as I enjoyed her Mrs Wilton days; this is the Baroness. I hope EEE! send her to the Chargeless Neutrinoly Zone where she will rot for eternity!

For someone wanting to isolate no-longer-posting-folk's characters and real ids - there's a bit of that in here isn't there? Not that I mind. There must be a devious plan for Knifey to do something dramatic next issue is all I can surmise.

It is a pity Visionary wasn't able to be in that crypt. Just for the lols. I suppose he would not have handled the ending well though.

Excellent links to Parodyverse Lore in here again - I found myself drifting off to Hallie and the Sepulchre, Hollywood V history, then more. Had to pull myself back here lest I become lost!

But oh...Laurie. Farewell. You were put through the wringer - but you lived a life far more than most. May you now find peace.

I'll be over here in the corner feeling sad for a bit.

Liu Xi is always prone to survivor's guilt. That's why next issue she goes to take on the Hooded Hood about this.

But on a wider level, since Liu Xi and Vinnie are due to spklit up at some point between the period this story is set and more contemporary tales that have appeared on the board, I thought this incident might help add to the grist for that particular mill.

As I recall, Liu Xi's life has been somewhat redolent with males willing to manipulate her "for her own good". These have included the people who brought her up, her grandfather The Void Scholar, Xander the Improbable, the Hooded Hood, Lord Slithis, and to some degree even her romance interests the Doomherald and Vinnie. Some of these have even had good intentions nfor her.

However, in pretty much all those cases that manipulation has led to Liu Xi getting hurt and usually for people she cares about getting hurt. Men undercutting Liu Xi's agency and leaving her crying must be something of a sort spot by now.

The problem with Vinnie is that since they started dating he has been dumped with the role of acting sorcerer supreme (himself manipulated into it by the absent Xander). That job virtually requires its holder to be devious, manipulative, ruthless, and seperated from other people. In fact it requires Vinnie to stop being the kind of well-meaning goof he was when Liu Xi first encountered him and become exactly the sort of person who Liu Xi has always had trouble with.

Spoken about or not, that's the kind of development that's got to wrankle inside Liu Xi and help inform an eventual seperation.




Fsctoring into this emotional wreckage are some other folks, for sure. Head of the list has got to be Beth Shellett herself. When the next Untold Tales opens it'll be the day after all this happened, maybe nine or ten hours will have passed, and beth will have left the Mansion quietly to try and deal with this on her own. That's not a good idea, as the chapter will illustrate.

G-Eyed's own emotional journey isn't over either, of course. It occurred to me in writing the story, but didn't really get space in the story to make the point, that almost all of Bry's closest friends are no longer available to him for support. His cousin Derek (Exile) and Valeria of Carfax are far off in the Mythlands. spiffy is running badripoor. Nats is, I think, in Hell. Dancer is apparently in the Sea Monkey cty. Lisa is a cosmic being. Finny and Trickshot are literally off in happy endings. Of Bry's oldest friends, only Hatman, CSFB! and Vizh are really still around, as all of them are busy doing Lair things the day afte ra global emergency.

Really, the best person for G-Eyed to talk to would be Beth. So of course they don't do that.

That sounds like a story that needs to come from you.

The last time I referenced the MPL it was business as usual. I think. Your last chapters on Lee and Co. left a few plots up in the air, around Lee's possible child and possible fate, and I have deliberqately avoided those strands so as not to confuse matters. But there's no reason I wouldn't bring in D.D. or ALFred if there was a good reason.

As you'll see next time, the Baroness hasn't forgotten what she saw in the room full of Hooded Hood plots. She's looking into it further. Had Untold Tales been an ongoing concern still rather than a bried renaissance I would certainly have covered the events when she marched into the MPL (or tried to) and demanded their full co-operation in researching everything the Hood would have been doing. That in turn would draw the attention of the cowled crime czar himself. Both of them in the Library would have been... interesting. It might even have provoked the return/resurrection of the Librarian himself to deal with it.




I suspect Fred was being flippant about the manual.

I also suspect he's not quite sure how to relate to Sally. Her usual flirtatious, brazen, pushy persona is probably one he doesn't cope well with. Her current brittle facade of trying to act as she normally does must be even harder for him. But because he's a nice guy he's trying hard to take care of her anyway.




Sounds like its toime for a major Ham-Boy series that gives us the answers, culminating in the ALL-HAM-BOY CROSS-TIME TEAM-UP ANNUAL!

Well, Vizh isn't going to be happy.

And hey, Amnesia isn't quite gone yet. She has one more farewell to make, back in Herringcarp.




The Baroness has endangered heroes before, but what she does to EEE nect time is on a whole new level.

As for Sally, she's really gone a long way down the redemption route. She wasn't really herself when she was used for the initial plot. She's had a motive and morals shift since then during her exposure to the LL. She's accepted she waa guilty, she's confessed, she's tried to make amends as she can. But yes, she's certain that she can't stay with the LL any more now this has all come out.




I'd have to go back and look at what I included to promote my secret agenda, because I don't remember doing much of that this time. It may have been retconned in after I wrote it.

Next time: Knifey denies culpability.




If we ever do more Untold Tales after this he'll get there soon enough. Where do you think the charred yellow coat rag came from?




I wouldn't want people to think our edge-of-probability-curse parody stories didn't have substance and history.




It'll be hard to find other victims to torment as much as Lisette, but I'd be willing to try.




Hey, you got Beth back. For an issue.

Deep down though she should probably know that the Hooded Hood can't really help her, because he's right at the top of the list of people who would do something for her own good but hurt her even worse than she's been hurt before.








It does sound like something she would do to punish him after he's stopped listening to her entirely. She's been studying Xander's old books in the hopes of helping Vinnie someday. What would hurt her badly is if he refuses to accept that help, especially if it's to preserve his own pride.

But it's also got to be eating at her now that he put her in such danger for his own purposes.

By the way, if Yuki finds out (later on) what Vinnie has become, she'll probably give him a good beating just on principle.

The Psychic Samurai, on the other hand, would be more prone to warning Vinnie *right now* of where he's headed, and the danger of it. Oddly enough, though she's actually psychic, nobody listens to her. Which is why she never admits to being psychic.





I guess I can kind of see why she'd want to get as far from that place, and the Lair Legion, as possible. G-Eyed is just collateral damage.

There's an unresolved subplot (which obviously gets a mention next time) that Liu Xi only finally consented to join the LL because the Hood demanded it, in exchange for saving the life of the daughter of the woman whom Liu Xi murdered to save the Doomherald in Comic-Book Limbo. The Legion obviously don't know that the Hood has that leverage and wanted Liu Xi in there for some reason.

Ah, but that's a quote from Cap (or Roy Thomas)







After I mentioned my problem in a writer's forum the management of Audible actually contacted me to try and sort the issue out!







Maybe they're more like war films of events like Pearl harbor?




Wde know that various real-world celebrities also exist in the Parodyverse, though, because there have been... interactions. And of course, CSFB! and other hipster heroes constantly make cultural references based upon real-world people, prroducts, and media.







It's not a point that's examined very often.




That in itself is rather sad.

Comics writing rarely reflects human nature. They're usually way more positive than reality.





They probably would be, including being way more rare than scifi/fantasy/superhero films.








That would be normal unless the universe is *really* drastically different.





I actually thought about it a lot, what it would be like for Lara to be immortal. Most of that thought has been rolled into her personality: The fear of attaching to people only to watch them die; Unwillingness to wed or have children that she'll inevitably outlive and forget about; and finally, her reluctance to look back once she makes a decision.

That last one is the reason she was gone from the PV so long after disappearing. She wasn't sure if she would ever come back.








Faite has learned through bitter experience that it's way less heartbreaking than remaining a part of those lives. Though it also faintly reflects that unlike Lara, who's been avoiding a lot of human contact, Faite has been immersing herself in it, and suffering the consequences.

Oddly enough she'd be suspicious of him for a totally different reason that most other LL members. So far, everyone she's met has some kind of plan for her, without her consent, and she's sick of it. That's what she would be expecting out of the Hooded Hood.

What would be interesting is if he surprises her by revealing that he has no plan for her whatsoever, and that either her part has already been played, or she was a lynchpin for some other plan to take place. Would be kind of funny if she goes to confront him, and he says go, live your life, I don't need you for anything. She would be really confused.





Not to mention that Liu Xi has a real sore spot for being subservient to anyone.

At the same time, though, she might also believe she's there at a pivotal point in Vinnie's life when she could save him from his own hubris. But even that has a short fuse, and if he hurts her enough times she'll turn on him.

But, even while attempting helping him, by now already she's started to become suspicious and self-protective, and will be extremely wary of anything like liens, or rights of possession. In other words, she no longer trusts Vinnie to possess anything of hers anymore. If she remembers what happened to Cleone, she'll try really hard to never hear from Vinnie that she's bound to him and can't leave.





I know I bring this up too much, but this is where Faite's lengthy experience could help him. If he takes the initiative to ask (Faite rarely volunteers information) she would tell him that he's being stupid.

Why does she think he is he being stupid? Because he keeps falling back on fighting the same powerful cosmics over and over again, trying to resolve things that don't need resolving. That if he was serious about being Sorcerer Supreme, he would form reliable allies, not reliable enemies. The officeholders, the Ghouls, the Shoggoth, herself, and even the Celestians if he so dared. Even the Hooded Hood would be a better choice.

Faite would also tell him that she agreed with Dark Thugos, and that the most powerful ally he can have is Lara Night. But also warn him that she's smart and hard-headed, and manipulating her will just blow up in his face.

Also, if he would ask Faite to be his familiar, she would probably turn his hair white for a month as punishment.





Not just baggage, a whole crate.

The funny thing is, she probably hasn't kicked Vinnie's butt by now because of Exu. She believes if he could be saved, so can Vinnie. But she does have a breaking point.





Kind of funny to think that young Liu Xi is more mature in that respect, because she's a firm believer in "together we are stronger".

Yuki believes in that too, as you'll see in a conversation with Chiaki in the PV story I posted above.








She'd make sure to tell him first.








And that's why Chiaki hardly ever uses her gift to help other people.





Probably just the old "shit rolls downhill" thing.





There's a lot of that going around.

I sent you an e-mail about this




When I stop posting stuff there are normally plots in the air because I end up stop posting in the midst of a storyline & am just not sure how to continue on.




The Hood might of been allowed to enter the Library given Lee's past associations with him. The Barroness would not have been. Not saying she wouldn't have found a way in but The Hood could have easily walked in & very little would have been done to him. He's also probably on record at the Library, might even have an account with them.







and he probably was. I was just thinking about if there was an actual HB manual & who would have made it.

Before my writing the recent Chad & Ronnie story, your posting had got me to start writing a new Ham-Boy story, something that I had not done in 5 years. HB had been on my mind recently so that's why I gave a "full" answer on an HB manual.

FUN FACT: My response is the 1st time Fred's dad's name has been online. All previous references to him as just be as "Dad". It's also the 1st time that Mr. Harris' job has been mentioned & that Grandpa Al is former military.




sure.







I doubt that will happen. There has been an idea to do a Ham-Boy Time Travel story for awhile. The original idea was that Ham-Boy & the Juniors (shows the age of the idea) were throws back in time to WWII. Ham-Boy would meet up with his grandfather & some HB backstory would be related.

The HB story I started tried to relate a bit more backstory about HB. I sent in present day & had him reflecting on the what had happened in the last few years. That way I can glaze over what was happening in all the plot threads I left unresolved. The 1 big part of his life that I really wasn't sure about is his involvement in the Lair Legion. Every other plot thread that was up in the air when his series stopped was created by me involving my creations.

The Legion is not. I also don't feel up to the challenge of establishing who the Legion is in 2016. I assume the Legion still exists in 2016 but I'd be up for doing any story with them. In all of my time with the PV: I've pretty much avoided doing any story with the Legion directly. All my Lee Bookman stories from when he was alive & part of the group never featured the team directly.

You need to do right by that young lady, and killing her off isn't the kind of happy ending she deserves after all you put her through. Or killing her off again? I suppose that it is nice to see some resolution, rather than just leaving her a haunted, haunting spirit... But still.

I did enjoy revisiting the tomb under the mansion... Even if it is kind of creepy. And really, any time people travel down under the mansion, someone ends up dead. We should probably put up a caution sign or something.

I'm curious to see what the Baroness is after as well... Should be an interesting final chapter.

No, she's not just killed off. She's condemned to a slow sad destruction and erosion to oblivion in insane Herringcarp. That was her heroic choice.

But... you did note that this was a two part story, right?




If I ever get back to another spurt of PV writing, a likely candidate will be the long-delayed Da Visionary Code storyline.

I mean, it's not like you still need all those cast and characters, is it?




There's some stuff I need to go back and add in to part two that in retrospect I should have covered. It's just marginally possible that this epilogue might spill into three parts after revision. I'll try to resist that, though.

The problem (and fun) of Untold Tales writing is that every story logically spills into more stories without any effort at all.

By the way, I regret to report the death of Magellan, our resident cat, just before Christmas.

I've just replied to your latest correspondence. I even offered to help if you want, despite that probably causing UT#353 to become UT#353 and 354!




That's a common writer's problem. Hence the "switch-n-bait narrative technique. In Lee's case it is quite clearly the jounral of the poor investigator working out what happened and finding him or herself increasingly out of their depth as he looks into the doing of the legendary Lee Bookman.




That's what I expected, too.







Why not? Or, see the e-mail I sent you about another way to tie-in a time travel adventure.




I think the Legion stuff is pretty default now. He was a member at the time I last wrote Untold Tales (last week), which is set in unspecificed comic-book time but just a couple of weeks after his induction. So far he's still a newbie. The chances are that if I tell more Legion stories I'll continue following my old plans for them from that point in continuity while trying not to blatantly contradict anything people have written that post-dates that.

As to whether or how long Ham-Boy sticks around with the Legion from the point I'm writing at, and whether we continue to "real-time" the Legion and assume that years have passed since than, that's a wider discussion for the board.

I think we're now at the point where Stan Lee and Roy Thomas must have been around 1971, when the Marvel universe was ten years old and Franklin stopped ageing. Up to then it was assumed that Reed and Ben had served in WW2. After that, "Marvel time" assumed that the FF had been around for "Eight years", later ten and then twelve years. Stark's chest injury moved from Korea to Viet Nam to Afghanistan to the Middle East. And so on.

If the PV is real-time, then it is 17 years since the League of Regulars/LL first formed. More dangerously for us, Dancer, who was 22 in 2000, is now 39. Shep has gone on record as saying she only allowed herself to be brought into the Parodyverse to "be 22 again". Many of the juvenile cast should be parents themselves by now. So I'm not sure how to proceed. My immediate fix is to keep on telling stories following straight on from where I left off in 2010 and avoid the question.




It is hard to say, isn't it? I think Jason wrote a different line-up from the one I'm using at one point, but there were so few readers around by then I'm not sure it really impacted. Again, a tough one.

Except Frank Miller. And new Superman movies.




I don't think we've ever seen Lara in a real romantic relationship, or even a serious potential one. Why not is an interesting point to cover. Faite's input and perspective might be a good counterpoint too.




Of your cast, Faite is one I try to skirt around the most because I admit I don't feel I've "got" her at all. In my head she slots into the "can-do-anything omniscient entities" catagory who need to be worked around to tell dramatic stories, like Chronicler, Shaper of worlds, HV, Eggo etc. Probably unfair, but I'd prefer to keep her sidelined than misrepresent her.

The Hooded Hood pretty much has a plan for everybody, so it's not like she's singled out. But in fact Liu Xi is one of the principal characters that the Hood so far hasn't worked over that much. Even in the present team, the Hood had impacted far more on Hatty, CSFB!, Vizh, G-Eyed, Mumphrey, and of course CZ. From the Hood's perspective it's a compliment that he's got Liu Xi in his sights, although she wouldn't see it that way.




Liu Xi and the Hood have a little dialogue in the next chapter, albeit not to the point. Liu Xi has more urgent issues to discuss.







Cleone ended up as Xander's familiar pretty much by accident (he was happy with his Medusa-petrified hamster Harry). Thereafter Xander couldn;t dismiss her without destroying her. I would probably have resolved this and developed the relationship further and better had poster-Xander still been around. PV Xander's sidelining to the background is in line with me de-emphasising many characters whose posters are absent (e.g. Dancer, Finny, Sorceress etc.)

Nor is Vinnie Xander. Xander was/is far more experienced and calculating and a good deal more ruthless, as Liu Xi can attest. Vinnie is on one hell of a learning curve trying to keep up with the job he;s been dumped with. It has put a massive target on him along with overwhelming responsibility. That's one reason he agreed to join the LL, so he's got a bit of cover. It;s also why he's struggling in his relationship with Liu Xi, because he doesn't want her at ground zero when it goes down and he doesn't want the relationship to be all about her useful powers.

One might consider that Liu Xi joining the LL at the Hood's behest anyway may have something to do with keeping Vinnie alive anyhow.




I don't think Vinnie has much hubris, but like many people new to a big job he's unsure where to draw lines. He doesn't want to do it Xander's way, but that way worked. Can he find another method? Dare he risk it given the consequences of screwing up?




This makes sense. Cleone and Liu Xi have some common background. Both were effectively enslaved, both were ceded to an owner who intended to use them sexually, both escaped and ended up linked to powerful men who both tried to protect them and needed their support. Their experiences of how well that worked out differ thereafter.










Xander would argue that the sorcerer supreme's job sometimes involves him overcoming any or all of those powerful beings, most of them far more powerful than himself. The role seems to be as final arbiter of use of magic and perhaps more, but it is very much about championing "the little people" against the big players. So while Xander might ally himself with, say, the Shoggoth most of the time, he has to be ready to shut the Shoggoth down if ever the Shoggoth's needs conflicted with humanity's. So he can't get too close.

Same with Vinnie in the job. Vinnie has to be ready - is supposed to be ready - to take on and take down whoever the sorcerer supreme is supposed to stop. That theoretically includes the Lair Legion, Liu Xi Xian, the Hooded Hood, and any cosmic power. It's a tall order and not one he could manage.

On the other hand, Xander may still be playing a long game behind the scenes to do exactly that if he feels it neccessary. His maxim was always "don't be there when it happens".




From a personality poin of view, Vinnie isn't really confident enough to work closely with powerful and experienced females without difficulty. He's still an occasional gibbering wreck with Liu Xi and she's closer to his age and learning level.

Factor in too that Vinnie's other experience of a powerful female ally was, in fact, Kerry. Admittedly they were under an aphrodisiac effect at the time but it has left him wary of getting close to allies of the opposite sex. A complication is this is a previous prophecy that the foretold Celestian Madonna (or one potential-future version of her) is the child of Liu Xi and Danny Lyle and things get very tangled.




Vinnie wouldn't ask anyone to be his familiar. He doesn't see himself as that kind of mage. Even a stone hamster would be too great a commitment.




Vinnie doesn;t think he needs saving, because if he was "saved" he couldn't carry out his role effectively.

Vinnie's had this choice before, to remain comfortable and safe with a partner (his ex-fiancee) or to lose everything to do the right thing, and he chose the latter. He'd make the same choice again, no matter how much it hurt or what it cost him.




I like my characters to have blind spots and limitations. This is one of Vin's.







Doesn't mean he'd understand.







It's potent story material.

That's only a small portion.








Seen, no, but she does talk about her last one from time to time. The one from back home where she fell in love with and then moved in with her career agent. Then he broke it off and kicked her out when she refused to marry.








Not *anything* really, she can only change things at this moment in time. It doesn't affect people's memories, though, so it's not a substitute for a retcon, and won't work well for altering associations.

The most fun part of her, though, is figuring out how to motivate her to do something. She is generally unwilling to get involved in most anything because she has been around long enough to feel that it's futile.

Finally getting around to finishing up replies after being stuck on jury duty.





It doesn't mean she'll be remotely happy with it anyhow.





She has a lot of issues, I'll await discovering which one she's discussing with him.





Faite would say Vinnie reacts a lot out of fear. He often tries to fix things too early because he's afraid of enduring what will happen if he waits longer. And that leads to him making bad compromises. She also knows it's not really his fault, because that's something that comes from experience. Inexperience means not having confidence you can handle what comes later.





Possibly.





He really needs to eventually realize that Xander did things the way he did because he preferred to go it alone. Vinnie has friends, powerful ones, and should seek their help. That's where the "hubris" observation comes from - the belief that only he has the power and/or ability.





Liu Xi, though, went one step further trying to make herself no longer need protection from anyone, and she'd like to keep it that way.





The hardest one to stop would be the Psychic Samurai, because she'd see it coming.





I though that was Dr. Who.





Lara Night is even more entry-level for working with than Liu Xi - she is very friendly and easy to work with. She finds clumsy geekiness kind of cute, but is intimidated and turned off by inflexibility (which is why she's intimidated by Hatman), so she may be conflicted about him.

She's also only a few years older than Liu Xi, so I thought she was closer to Vinnie's age. I guess Vinnie isn't as old as I thought.





He would find the opposite in Lara. She's extremely careful. As a teenager she was part of a small super-team, and kept her distance and decorum through the whole thing.





Not even a cosmically aware cat?





If he does, poor Liu Xi will be beyond hurt. Broken even. And then Yuki will kick his butt.








Here's some more, then:

- Liu Xi's blind spot is being too easily angered by things related to her painful past.

- Lara Night's blind spot is, oddly enough, keeping her distance from people and forming only limited bonds of friendship.

- Faite's blind spot is hating to interfere, and waiting far too long to deal with things sometimes.

- Yuki's blind spot is being overly protective, and taking on too much herself, even when it's not necessary.

- Chiaki's blind spot would be believing in herself and no one else, and avoiding offering help when it's "not her place" - often placing manners and rank ahead of conscience.

quote]

Ouch.







Absolutely.

Here's a question: given that the Hood is effectively using the child of the woman Liu Xi murdered as a hostage for Liu Xi's compliance on the LL, would Liu Xi remain silent or would she eventually reveal the threat she's under to the team?







Actually, as it turns out that will now be Untold Tales #354. An extra issue muscled in, which does cover some Vinnie/Liu Xi stuff informed by our present discussion.




There's some truth in that. On the other hand, Vinnie has a very "seat-of-the-pants" approach to magical stuff that is part of his effectiveness, so that emotion-led improvisation does work for him a lot.







Vinnie knows, however, that even those powerful friends' views and alliegances might be slightly different. He doesn't feel he can afford to assume anybody is absolutely on his side all the time.

In part that's due to his upbringing, but it's also because now he may have to make big judgement calls. So if he's allied to someone who may object to him sacrificing millions to save billions, or who isn't comfortable with him making decisions on behalf of a whole race, or whatever, he can't be too close to them in case they oppose him.

The other issue is that the sorcerer supreme comes with enemies, as well as Vinnie's personal rogues gallery. Many of those enemies would be pleased to strike at or even suborn allies and support mechanisms they feel the sorcerer surpeme has come to rely upon too heavily.







I'm sure that's one reason Vinnie admires her.




Any plan from any enemy who knows Chiaki would have to take that into account. The trick would be to arrange a situation where Chiaki would have to enter peril knowing it might kill her because her honour or compassion requires it of her.







I don't think so. He is pretty much always there when it happens, usually running from the detonation.










I'd put him in his very early twenties, a couple of years older than the Juniors.







There was that incident with Lara and CSFB!, as I recall.







Definitely not that cat. The cat is more likely to end up in Vinnie's rogues gallery.







If Vinnie hurt Liu Xi (because it was "neccessary") then he'd certainly let Yuki kick him.

Liu Xi would probably tell Yuki first directly. She knows that Yuki is able to see reason and is no stranger to grey areas, so she would make a good ally for softening the blow with the rest of the LL finding out.

If she can't talk to Yuki, she would try Chiaki next. She knows Chiaki would not be nearly as agreeable as Yuki, but she's fair, and once she's won over, she's a fearless and stubborn advocate.





Faite would counter that it is indeed effective, but it's not the effectiveness she worries about; it's the cost.





This is the real reason he's hurting Liu Xi. It's not the direct damage, but that he doesn't trust that she's collected friends, and made some *really* powerful help available. Rejecting all of and going off to damage himself like that is starting to hurt her feelings as well.





True, but he also has a few potential friends who are not at all afraid of his rogue's gallery. Even Liu Xi has been studying Xander's books, and probably knows as much or more about their weaknesses than he does. She hasn't said anything to him about it because she doesn't want to hurt his confidence.








He must really admire the Psychic Samurai, too. A self-made five-foot-two woman who depends on no one, and survived among gangs and super-powered beings for years with barely a scratch. And she made her own money while she was at it.





A lot of people have tried and failed to do just that. Her gift also helps her know when she's going to need some backup, and while she's usually kind of a stubborn loner, she's not suicidal. She knows how to arrange some substantial backup.

It's a bit like the way Sir Mumphrey does things, except the pocketwatch is in her head.

A bit more on her gift, just for fun: It gives her different kinds of messages. Sometimes it's just a sensation of impending doom, and she uses her own logic to figure out what it is. Other times, she'll get to watch flashes of visions of potential outcomes.

If you were to watch her fight during having one of each vision, the potential outcomes would make her a more aggressive fighter, because she knows what will happen already. The sensation instead would make her cautious and defensive.





That's about where Lara is.








Lara hates people bringing that up. She's still mad at CSFB! for telling everyone.

When Lara is working she stays completely focused, and would completely ignore any of Vinnie's usual accidental flirting, or CSFB!'s fun and interesting playfulness. She believes she makes enough mistakes while she's paying attention.





"But the cat is so cuuuute!" That would be Liu Xi's summary of it. Which is probably why it lets her cuddle and pet it.





She would give him an extra punch for saying it was "necessary". But then she would make him get up off the floor, clean up the blood, and fix it. Beatings alone are pretty useless.

I guess it's better than Chiaki, who wouldn't harm him, but she would grab him by the ear and make him go in the middle of the night and apologize and promise to make it right. She wouldn't even give him time to make excuses. He would be going. Now. Yes, she did work as a part-time schoolteacher at a private school.





A dangerous one too, because the one thing she barely dodged trouble for early in life - when she first discovered her power - could happen again.





She only does that because nothing bad ever came of it.





Like I said before, he could benefit greatly from Faite telling him that absolute control is an absolute illusion. It might shatter his whole belief system, but he might put his energy into less futile pursuits.

Not yet. Mostly just a reference to the past so far.

Keep in mind that she's someone intensely fearful of commitment, though she will love someone freely. That's why she's so comfortable in her friendship with Hatman - all of the love and comfort with none of the pressure, because he's not interested in anything deeper than that.

I use that example purposefully because friendships are so comfortable for her that the concept of falling for someone hard is foreign to her. That entire scenario is terrifying to her, and she'll probably be repelled by it instead. She sees herself as meeting someone, becoming friends, and that growing into something closer.





I guess the difference is I kind of like fighting the "internal battle" sometimes. Someone like Faite weighing whether to get involved or not, and to think about all of the good and bad reasons for it, and how little or how much. And then if she finally does get involved, I like exploring the consequences, and the thoughts of whether it was worth it.








If it helps, a lot of the time Faite decides that large scale direct intervention is overkill, and instead tries shrinking the playing field - confronting the cause directly. Giving them a small show of power, and forcing them to make a choice.

She did that in a probably-unpublished story when she faced the Moderator and warned him to stop damaging the universe. Then, rather than stop him directly, she started messing with his plans.

You have more nastiness planned for her, don't you?




She hasn't met a pissed off Muffy Framlicker yet has she? Good. She will be surprised then.




I'd say she still can stay - though it seems likely she'll accept Drury.




He did? Or is that next next time?




"proceed"




You know, when the Hood breaks through the wonderwall and comes to get the creators, the spirit of Herringcap could always slip though along with him. Just for giggles...and revenge.

That's a feature that is storyworthy.




It's good that she has different and distinctive responses to your other main characters.




Faite's another visitor to the Parodyverse, though, right? So she's another tourist who got sucked in (as have many other of our cast, including Visionary, Trickshot, and Amazing Guy).




The devil is in the details.




I know I wrote a lot of it, but I'm really, really fuzzy about that story now.

This may be useful to know if I ever write more UT material and need to pick up on this plot.

However, there's also the possibility that if Liu Xi starts sharing, something terrible happens right there, right then, to Yuki (major processor failure leading to brain death or something), and then the Hooded Hood turns up to retcon it and give Liu Xi the chance to reconsider her confession. I'd have to think about it.




Chiaki might have a sense that if she listens to Liu Xi on this occasion she will die.







What is the maximum price one should pay for saving the Parodyverse?







Well, we do know that the two of them eventually have irreconcilable differences.







Even Vinie isn;t aware of all the entities out to get him. But head of the queue right now is probably Sage Grimpenghast, teacher of decpetions, the most powerful and effective of the current pack of hell-lords. He's already gone after Vinnie through his ex-fiancée. He went after Nats through Uhuna and Regret. His preferred attack is by taking the best things in his enemies lives and twisting them into weapons against his foes. Vinnie isn't willing to let that happen again if he can avoid it.

I don't know if we'll ever get round to the reveal in-story, but Grimpenghast's intention to do that with Liu Xi hit a brick wall when the Hooded Hood invited him to back off, since Liu Xi was "pre-plotted". Shortly afterwards the whole tangle with the Void Scholar and Slithis made Liu Xi too prominent for Grimpenghast to get at. Coincidence? The Hood isn't above tipping off other cosmic types like Faite or the Chronicler if it suits his needs.




I suspect Chiaki is a bit more alien to Vinnie, being so far from his own experience. Vinnie had the reverse origin, where he had everything and turned away from it. He's now living a subsistence level life as alternative to power and wealth as one of the evil de Soths.

Even Vinnie's youngest sister, the Young Heckfire brat Privilege, now has more temporal wealth and influence. I need to do a story about that sometime.







That interplay between the possibility of avoiding and the inevitability of facing a planned event is where the story happens.




Presumably she's seeing elements of some potential futures that can be averted.

It would be interesting to see her in a scene with exiled Caphan and current Junior Vespiir, who was forehead-branded and cast out ownerless because she had forbidden prophetic gifts. Vespiir has never had formal training in her abilities. Indeed, until she came to Earth she was taught they made her an abomination and she was treated accordingly.







Noted. When he knows he will probably amend his blog page.

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When Lara is working she stays completely focused, and would completely ignore any of Vinnie's usual accidental flirting, or CSFB!'s fun and interesting playfulness. She believes she makes enough mistakes while she's paying attention.

Wouldn't she be better persuing a relationship outside the superhero community?

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[Yuki] would give [Vinnie[ an extra punch for saying it was "necessary". But then she would make him get up off the floor, clean up the blood, and fix it. Beatings alone are pretty useless.

I think we're just at the limits of how these views and theur holders can communicate.

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I guess it's better than Chiaki, who wouldn't harm him, but she would grab him by the ear and make him go in the middle of the night and apologize and promise to make it right. She wouldn't even give him time to make excuses. He would be going. Now. Yes, she did work as a part-time schoolteacher at a private school.

Vinnie is too honest to apologise unless he thinks he's done something wrong. And honestly, Vinnie learned to take mystical precautions against being grabbed by someone while he slept when he was about four years old, or he would never have survived growing up in his family.

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I think [Yuki]'s also quite impetuous and cocky, which serves her well almost all the time, except when it doesn't.

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She only does that because nothing bad ever came of it.

So far. In many ways, in the absence of Trickshot, Yuki is the LL's short fuse now.

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Speaking of the Hooded Hood, his big dramatic flaw is his ego, which tells him that he alone can rectify the wrongs of the Parodyverse and instate a multiverse of just order under his absolute control.

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Like I said before, he could benefit greatly from Faite telling him that absolute control is an absolute illusion. It might shatter his whole belief system, but he might put his energy into less futile pursuits.

It would more likely spawn a byzantine series of plots over many years to demonstrate to Faite that her argument was wrong.

In part 2 of the story I'm working on, while Hatman doesn't have a romantic interest in her, he has another interest. No, it's not that. Or that either. But it's still messing with her mind.





It would be boring otherwise.





Not Faite. She's someone who's "always been there" in some form or another. Until recently, though, she's existed as a spirit only, so I guess that makes her a tourist to the physical world.








It's probably unpublished, then. I threw away a lot of what I wrote for that, because there was too much and the timing was off.

Why yes I do. Adam makes such a lovely noise when she suffers.




I'm working quite hard not to set those two against each other too much. It's not nice of me to set two characters that each have an invested poster behind them at war. Especially when the logical conclusion would be the permanent end of one of the characters.







There's a resolution to whether Sally is staying next time.







No, he already mentioned that he had nothing to do with chapping up the Insanity Stones in the first place. So that's settled.







Another year, maybe?







It may be time to torment someone else. I was reading up on Sam Featherstone yesterday.