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The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial
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Subject: Vinnie De Soth and the Virgin Factory Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 10:35:29 am EDT (Viewed 23 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
Vinnie De Soth and the Virgin Factory
The Ghost Taxi shimmered through the curtain of rain and became solid again outside the ruined paper mill in upstate Gothametropolis. It picked its away around the debris surrounding the foreboding plant’s dark silhouette and drew to a halt at the twisted remnants of the main gate.
Vinnie de Soth leaned forward and handed a folded wad of bills to the cab driver. “Thanks Rudge. You mind staying here for a while? Keep the meter running.â€Â
“No problem, Mr De Soth,†agreed the dead young man behind the wheel. “Take care out there.†The Ghost Taxis were just one more strange by-product of the occult and metahuman activities around Paradopolis, a fleet of phantom yellow cabs with limbo-bound drivers seeking a slow and grinding redemption from whatever awaited them beyond the final gates of death. When Rudge folded away the sixty dollars Vinnie had passed him for the ride to the Thompson Paper Mill he’d also pocketed a generous karma note that had helped him towards his final salvation.
Vinnie climbed from the back of the taxi into the heavy downpour. The midnight rain bounced off the broken pavements outside the factory. The torrent had already doused most of the fires that had collapsed the roof over the main block. Only acrid fumes rose from the huge hole in the shattered front wall.
A police line warning ribbon fluttered across the gateway. Vinnie ducked under it and approached the ruin. His left foot found a pothole deeper than he’d expected and he sand up to the ankle in cold muddy water.
And then his foot was dry again.
“Ah. Thank you, Liu Xi Xian,†Vinnie guessed without even turning round. Drying a wet sock was only a tiny part of what the slim oriental elementalist could do with the traditional Chinese elements. “I, um, I hadn’t expected to see you here.â€Â
“Somebody had to wait for the clean up crew to arrive,†answered Liu Xi, stepping out of the shadows perfectly dry despite the driving rain. “I volunteered.â€Â
“Well thank you,†Vinnie said, trying to check whether his collar was straight without the attractive girl noticing he was doing it and managing only to channel cold streams of rainwater down inside his shirt. “It’s nice to see you. And nice that you can dry me and warm me. With your powers I mean. Not any other way. I wasn’t thinking about…â€Â
Liu Xi put the babbling occultist for hire out of his verbal misery again. “This way,†she indicated. “Ebony said you’d need to do a low-grade exorcism over the whole site to be sure.â€Â
As the elementalist had expected, Vinnie unconsciously switched from clumsily gabbling social wreck to quietly focussed professional. She quite liked the change. “What do we have here, then?†the acting sorcerer supreme asked, looking round the wreckage.
“This was a rather nasty place. Under cover of being a paper mill it was actually a factory for breeding and raising children to be sold as sacrificial victims to various cults and vampire clans and so on. The Librarian’s still going through the account books and the Lair Legion’s out visiting those clients he’s already identified.â€Â
Vinnie looked at the collapsed front wall of the building. Some of the steel support beams were folded back on themselves like pretzels. A few were bent through more than three dimensions. “I guess the Shoggoth didn’t like this place very much, then.â€Â
“He was a little tetchy, yes,†agreed Liu Xi. “The people operating this place haven’t stopped screaming yet.â€Â
Vinnie picked his way over the remains of the wall and ventured into the structurally unsafe interior. “Where are the children?†he asked.
“Dancer and Icy got them out. Hatman’s lodging them all with Hagatha Darkness for now until proper arrangements can be made with St Jude’s Orphanage. Nobody’s going to try and snatch them back from the witch of Covenant House.â€Â
Vinnie shuddered. “I do hope they try,†he said maliciously.
“CrazySugarFreakBoy! offered to lodge the older virgins at his place and find ways of curing them but Hatman overruled him,†Liu Xi reported. “Vizh says don’t go lingerie shopping with them.â€Â
“Good tip,†agreed Vinnie. “This isn’t the time for underwear. Um, I mean their underwear. Well, obviously they can have underwear, I didn’t mean… And you. You can have underwear too, Liu Xi. I mean you probably do have. I’ve not been thinking about it or… It’s not like we have to check…â€Â
“Nats said to tell you that he thought there were still some ghosts and stuff active here that Al B.’s ectoplasmic wave disruptor hadn’t got. And also to make clear that he hadn’t accidentally married any of them.â€Â
Vinnie touched a half-melted wall and frowned. “There is some psychic residue left,†he admitted. “Nasty stuff. There was some kind of chymeric guardian summoned but it’s no longer active.â€Â
“I think the Shoggoth ate it,†admitted Liu Xi. “Or possibly mated with it. It’s hard to tell.†She shot Vinnie a mischievous glance. “I’m pretty sure the chymeric guardian wasn’t wearing underwear.â€Â
Vinnie poked his tongue out at her. “You give evil a whole new definition.†His smile faded. “Speaking of evil, here’s an accumulation. What’s this place?â€Â
“The warder’s office,†Liu Xi reported. “What the…â€Â
She was interrupted by Vinnie barrelling her aside and hurling a handful of silver threads into the room ahead of her. The strands flashed and evaporated with a static hiss.
“Sorry,†Vinnie told her. “Saaiitaaii manifestation. Psychic land mine. A trap.†He helped Liu Xi to her feet.
“Thank you,†the elementalist told him, to indicate that she could now stand unaided without being held in his arms. “I didn’t sense anything.â€Â
“It’s not your field,†Vinnie replied. “It’s not elemental at all, not even void. There’s a lot of bad things been done in here over the years and that’s left all kinds of karmic sludge residue. Worse still, there’s been enough people in here with a little occult knowledge to even shape some of the negative emotions and twist them into nasty little memorials. Ebony was right to send for me.â€Â
“Can you exorcise it? Destroy it?â€Â
The occultist pressed further into the factory. The large area beyond the charred offices was a huge compound filled with barred livestock cages. The far end of the roof was stripped away, allowing the rainstorm to flood in.
“I could do a blanket abjuration,†Vinnie considered, “but that’s pretty major. It’s the psychic equivalent of a napalm grenade. And where am I going to get a goat and six hundred pounds of incense at this time of night?†He looked around the gloomy prison block with an unhappy frown. “No, there’s got to be a better way to fix this.â€Â
“What kind of…†began Liu Xi before Vinnie hurled her to the ground again.
“Watch out! Miserygeists!â€Â
Liu Xi felt the air around her growing colder and it was nothing to do with the elements. She had a sense of something vast and terrible reaching out to seize her.
Vinnie locked his lips on hers and jammed his tongue into her mouth. That distraction made the miserygeist attack seem somehow irrelevant.
After five minutes or so Liu Xi ventured to come up for air and say “I think they’re gone.â€Â
Vinnie looked around the darkened warehouse. “So they have,†he confirmed. “Damn. I mean, er, sorry about having to kiss you. It’s one of the traditional ways of fending off minor miserygeists.â€Â
“Do I want to know how major miserygeists are fended off?†Liu Xi wondered.
“Do you?†Vinnie asked hopefully before catching himself. “That is, we’d better press on. With exploring. We’d better keep on with the mission.â€Â
“Yes,†agreed Liu Xi, refastening her jacket and blouse. “Is there any way I could see any of these dangers that are lurking out there before you have to hurl me to the ground and snog me?â€Â
Vinnie looked guilty. “Well, I could share some second sight with you for a while but…â€Â
“But?â€Â
“Well, there’s this traditional way.â€Â
Liu Xi sighed. “Is there a traditional way that only involves the top half of my body?†she checked.
“Kissing,†Vinnie clarified urgently. “It’s a kiss-transferred enchantment. Very old magic. Standard Sleeping Beauty rules.â€Â
Liu Xi’s mouth quirked. “Right then. Enchant me.â€Â
Vinnie enchanted her as thoroughly as he could.
“One question,†Liu Xi asked finally and a little breathlessly. “What if Visionary or Nats had stayed behind on clean-up duty instead of me?â€Â
“Well, there is a kind of handshake version,†confessed Vinnie, “I must have forgotten that one for a minute.â€Â
Liu Xi punched him on the arm. Another thought occurred to her. “Didn’t the sleeping beauty spell require it to be true love’s kiss?â€Â
Vinnie hurried over to one of the cages. “Hey, look at this!â€Â
Liu Xi followed him to examine the wire-meshed box. Unlike most of the crates this one hadn’t been torn open to rescue the occupant. As the elementalist looked inside she could see why.
“That girl is transparent.â€Â
“She’s a ghost,†Vinnie explained. “You can’t see her too clearly because because she’s already fading and because we didn’t go past second base. This place is too full of occult predators and psychic sinkholes for her to last long.â€Â
“She died here?â€Â
“I guess. Why don’t you ask her?â€Â
Liu Xi peered through the bars. “She can see us and talk to us?â€Â
“Not right now,†the occultist admitted, “but if I channel a little life into her ectoplasm I think she could properly manifest. Hold on.†He scratched his palm across a ragged nail on the box frame and squeezed a few drops of blood out. The ghost blinked in confusion as she noticed Liu Xi Xian.
“Hello,†said the elementalist, as kindly as she could.
The ghost shrank away from her. “Who are you?†she asked with wide frightened eyes. “I’ve not seen you before.â€Â
“I’m new. I’m Liu Xi.â€Â
“Are you a guard?†The ghost girl shrank away further. “The guards beat me. When I tried to run away. They beat me very hard. I deserved it.â€Â
“I think they beat her to death,†Vinnie murmured. “She doesn’t understand it yet.â€Â
“I came with some good people,†Liu Xi explained. “The Lair Legion. They’re heroes. We came to rescue you.â€Â
The ghost looked puzzled. “Rescue me? Why?â€Â
“Don’t you want to be free?†asked Vinnie.
“Free?†the ghost blinked. “I’m going to be married!â€Â
Liu Xi felt her stomach turn. “The girls we rescued, the ones that went to Hagatha… they’d been educated from childhood to believe that they were going off to marry somebody wonderful. To be the bride of… well, whatever demon or god was worshipped by whichever cult had paid for their upbringing. They were actually looking forward to it. Some of them were fighting Yuki and Whitney as they were dragged from their cages.â€Â
“Best way to control them,†Vinnie realised. “Listen… what’s your name?â€Â
“Hope,†answered the ghost girl. “I am to be the bride of Shabba’Dhabba’Dhu.â€Â
“Yeah, about that. The wedding’s off. Two reasons. One, you’re dead. Not that that would necessarily stop the Groper Out of Grossness from rending your soul but still… And two, he’s a loathsome multi-tentacular city-sized elder beast who gives hentai a bad name and you do not want a wedding night with him.â€Â
“It’s even worse than when Vinnie saves you from miserygeists,†Liu Xi confided. She poked her tongue back at the outraged occultist.
“But…†Hope examined her spectral hand. “How can I be dead?â€Â
“The usual way, I’m afraid,†Vinnie told her. “And like all the spirits loosed from flesh in this awful cursed place I think you’ve been sundered from the afterlife.â€Â
“What does that mean?†Liu Xi demanded.
Vinnie drew her a little way from the cage. “It means that if I do an exorcism here she might go off to wherever souls go when they pass beyond the furthest we can track them, heaven or whatever I guess, but she might very well just get smeared out of existence for eternity. She’s missed her regular bus to the afterlife and the service has been withdrawn.â€Â
Liu Xi covered her mouth. “She’s only a girl, a couple of years younger than me. She was brought up to be sold into marriage slavery, like me. We can’t let her just be… totally destroyed by those cho wang ba dan.â€Â
Vinnie looked around. “We’ve got another problem right now, too. Since I manifested her she’s become visible to the other presences here. They can sense her purity and innocence. She’s just become major nasty-bait and they’re closing in.â€Â
Liu Xi followed his gaze. Black sticky ribbons of evil were oozing out of the walls, the floor, the cages; coalescing into miasmic tendrils to surround Hope’s cell.
“I don’t suppose that enchantment you put on me allows me to use my powers to blast these things down to hell?†Liu Xi checked. “I guess third base might be an option if it means I can…â€Â
“They’re psychic mould with some basic reflections of sentience,†Vinnie reported. “I’ll modulate what you do onto their frame of reference. Fire would be good.â€Â
“Oh yes,†breathed Liu Xi. “I can do fire.â€Â
“What are those?†worried Hope, noticing the prowling shapes. “Mister Blakeney! Mr Swinn! No!â€Â
“No indeed,†agreed Liu Xi Xian. She opened her palms and raised her head. “Burn!â€Â
The factory exploded with ectoplasmic fire. Outside in the ghost taxi Rudge yelped and dropped his sub.
“Okay,†noted Vinnie in a slightly high-pitched voice. “I was thinking flame thrower not Krakatoa but whatever works.â€Â
Liu Xi hissed. “I don’t like this place.â€Â
“I’d drawn that conclusion.â€Â
Hope looked around her in confusion. “What happened? What was that? Where did the bad people go?â€Â
“Nowhere good,†answered Vinnie with a certain satisfaction.
Despite the rain and Vinnie’s psychic shift some of Liu Xi’s flames had taken hold on the physical fabric of the building too. Liu Xi gestured to hold back the fire but the blaze was spreading. “Is this place cleansed now?†she asked.
“Not quite,†Vinnie judged. “There’s a nasty ravel of evil deeds going back to whenever this place was started, twenty, thirty, fifty years ago? It’ll take more than one angry firestorm to clean that up. Not that it wasn’t a very good firestorm, honestly. Don’t kill me.â€Â
“Then what?†Liu Xi demanded. “And what about Hope? She’s as much in need of rescue as any of those girls we shipped to Hagatha’s house.â€Â
“I’m going to be married,†Hope told them, desperately. “It’s what I’ve been bred for. I’m going to get married and live happily ever after.â€Â
Liu Xi looked across at Vinnie, appealing for him to do something.
“Right,†said the young occultist. “Hope, you’re right. Come on. Let’s go find you a new husband.†He gestured to Liu Xi and the elementalist blew the front of the cage to splinters.
“But I’m dead,†objected Hope, suddenly uncertain, frightened to leave the cage. “How can I live happily ever after now?â€Â
“There’s dead and there’s dead,†Vinnie told her. “While there’s life there’s Hope. Come with us.â€Â
“He seems like a stumbling babbling idiot but he’s really quite clever deep down,†Liu Xi comforted the ghost girl. “Also he’s not a bad kisser.â€Â
“Not bad?†objected Vinnie.
“Maybe you just need practice?â€Â
“Urk.â€Â
They led Hope across the waterlogged floor past burning crates and cages and back out to the front of the paper mill. She stared into the wide black night with a sense of wonder.
“What now, Vinnie?†Liu Xi asked. “You can’t keep donating blood to keep her in this world. Can you get her that bus to the afterlife now she’s out of the factory?â€Â
“Nope,†admitted Vinnie. “But maybe a cab.†He led Hope over to the Ghost Taxi. “Hey, Rudge, this is Hope.â€Â
Rudge tipped his cap to the ghost girl then did a second take. “Whoah. Hope. Hello. Hi. Yeah, hey there. Good to meet you.â€Â
“This is Rudge,†Vinnie told Hope. “He’s going to teach you how to drive.â€Â
“To drive? To drive a car? Like Rudge’s car?â€Â
“Sure, exactly like that.â€Â
“I am?†Rudge asked. Then, catching on that he was being invited to give tuition to a phantom hottie of the first order, added, “I am. Sure. Yep. Driving. Yes. Hope, I’ll be taking you out every day. Two hours driving lesson and maybe, you know, pizza or something afterwards.â€Â
“I’m dead, Rudge,†Hope told him.
“Yeah, me too. But there’s this pizza place down on Ploog and Sutton that does a ham and salami that’ll make you feel like you just been born. Um, if you want to have some pizza with me, that is.â€Â
“Rudge is working towards his final destination,†Vinnie explained. “He’s doing good deeds. Like looking after a lost soul who’s had a real bad time and needs someone to take real good care of her.†He gave the cabbie a significant glace of warning and encouragement.
“Hey, I’ve been a slime in my time, Vinnie, but not that kind of slime. Sure I’ll see Hope’s okay, get her set up with a place. She can room with Myrna till I work something out with Roswell. If she wants a cab there’s always room on the shift roster.â€Â
“This isn’t right,†Hope whispered to Liu Xi. “You said I was going to my husband.â€Â
“By the long route,†the elementalist whispered back. “Believe me, getting there’s part of the fun. The happy ever after has to start with a happy right now.â€Â
Hope looked over at Rudge and shyly said, “I would like a pizza one day. Whatever that is.â€Â
Rudge’s face broke into a big wide grin. “You would? Stick with me babe and I’ll show you the whole damn city.â€Â
Hope smiled back in delight. “Okay,†she agreed.
Rudge held open the cab door for her, something that almost never happened in Paradopolis. “C’mon toots. Let’s you and me see the sights.â€Â
Vinnie looked back at the smouldering factory. “Now the place is cleansed,†he affirmed. “Do I need to do a schmaltzy explanation about the redeeming power of love?â€Â
Liu Xi blew the interior up in a massive fireball of explosive gasses. “Do I need to tell you about hydrocarbon thermal chain reactions?â€Â
Vinnie was so busy ducking that he didn’t even notice that his cab had driven off to show Hope the city until Rudge was out of mortal and mystic sight. “Hey, that was my ride home!â€Â
Liu Xi shook her head. “I can fold void to get you back to that hovel of a shop,†she promised. “If you ask nicely.â€Â
Vinnie looked relieved. “I’d really like you to give me a ride, please,†he agreed. “Er, by which I mean a ride home. I wasn’t suggesting… what I mean is… not a ride in the bed sense. I don’t want to… well, obviously I do but… when I say ride I was…â€Â
Liu Xi shook her head in amused disbelief that the sorcerer supreme could manage to shoot himself in the foot quite so often. She prodded him on the chest. “You’ll get your ride home, Vinnie De Soth,†she promised him. “But first you have to take back that second sight you gave me. Seeing ghosts is way too spooky when you can already see elemental activity all the time. Triple vision just makes me queasy. Take the ghost-vision away.â€Â
“Yes, I can do that. Of course.â€Â
Liu Xi looked at Vinnie speculatively. She pushed the hair back from his forehead and moved closer. “Is there any special ritual required for that to happen?â€Â
“Um well…†Vinnie gulped. Then Vinnie smiled.
It was going to be a happy Hallowe’en.
***
The Vinnie De Soth Stories:
The Compound #1: Gathered #2: Scattered #3: Slaughtered - A deserted underground lab, an experiment gone wrong, a small group trapped in a base full of ghosts... must be Hallowe'en again.
The Bride - Vinnie De Soth and Liu Xi Xian consider arranged marriage.
The Last Victim - Charity Hanson was perhaps the last person to die in the Parody War... but that doesn't mean her story ends there.
Old Acquaintance - Vinnie De Soth is reunited with a girl in trouble - and she used to be his fiancée.
Aagrah In The Afternoon Supernatural Special - a very unusual episode of the popular chat show, with some very special guest stars.
Vinnie De Soth and the Sorority Poltergeist - a bloody haunting at the worst time of the month.
The Hooded Hood's Homepage of Doom
Who's Who in the Parodyverse
Where's Where in the Parodyverse
Liu Xi image by Visionary
Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2009 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2009 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
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And here's an added extra from Alex Watson (11) with his debut story on the PVB
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Subject: The Pumpkin Patch [Re: The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 11:32:29 am EDT (Viewed 16 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
THE PUMPKIN PATCH
by Alex Watson
The tale I’m about to tell you is one usually said to be myth or legend. But what is myth or legend? A story made up to scare little children. No, the truth is myths and legends are there to explain the unexplainable, when there’s something so terrifying, so hideous we just say it does not exist. That is what the human race does with fear, we sweep it under mat. There is one flaw to this system. Any time you step on the mat a spark of fear shoots out! I will explain this story in a way you will understand it with a beginning middle and an end, I will start in the middle.
***
1998 Deadwood Forest Cottage
Drip, drip, drip “Mum, the roof’s leaking again!†screamed George
“Well actually son it’s the gutter that’s leaking not the roof, for the roof to be leaking it needs to be raining and the storms ending so it has to be the gutter leaking.†explained Dad
“SHHHHHHH.â€Â
“What.â€Â
“You’ll wake Harry up,†scorned Mum
“The storm’s probably already woken him up.â€Â
“When I checked a minute a go he was fast asleep so don’t wake him up or you can go without pancakes for breakfast.â€Â
“Too… late,†said Harry yawning
Mum glared at George sharply. George pulled an I don’t care face and stormed into the front room. George grabbed the remote and fell back into sofa. Click, click, click, the TV wasn’t working.
“Dad, the TVs not working.†yelled George
“Oh, I forgot to tell you the storm has broken our dish so no TV.â€Â
“But I’m bored,†exclaimed George
“I know, why don’t you and Harry spend the day carving pumpkins from the pumpkin patch round back for Halloween tomorrow?â€Â
“Ok!!†said George enthusiastically; and so they did. After Harry had finished eating his breakfast ( 10:00 ) they went outside, then round the back to where the pumpkin patch was. They got there to see one massive pumpkin the size of their fireplace!
“Harry, George, we’re going out for some more fire wood.â€Â
“Ok,†said the boys in unison
“I’ll go get the knives,†screamed Harry and he did. They tried all the knives but they kept chipping, snapping and or breaking.
“Let’s try this one I found in the pumpkin patch. It looks like iron,†said George holding up a knife encrusted with dirt and mud
George slowly ran the sharp side of the knife across the roots. After he had cut it something weird happened. The roots started to ooze this sticky red substance, blood! The boys did not notice this and started to cut the top off. They pulled the top off getting ready to pull all the guts out. But… there were no guts in the pumpkin.
“Whatttt? I thought pumpkins had guts!†said George
“Oh it must be a different variety,†said Harry
George thoughtlessly tossed the knife onto the centre of the pumpkin patch - then when he wasn’t looking it sank into the soil.
Suddenly the boys went quiet. Their eyes turned bright orange. They could see a face on the pumpkin - and they carved it perfectly without trying! They did not know this, but they had carved the devil himself. Somehow the pumpkin lit up a fiery red and if you stared into its eyes you could see a dancing flame!
At that point George and Harry’s eyes restored to their original colours and the pumpkins’ flames died out.
The boys could remember all that happened. Of course they don’t believe they saw it, it was a trick of the light and our imagination they’d say, even though at the back of their mind they knew what they saw was real. That spark of fear growing as they stepped further and further onto the mat.
It was not till 9:00 till the door bell rang, Ringgg, Ringgg.
“Who could that be?†asked Harry
“Probably Mum and Dad, they might have lost there keys or something,†replied George
The boys went out of the living room into the kitchen to let their parents in to find the door open a violent wind brewing outside. Also there was a thin trail of blood from the door into the living room!
Harry and George followed the trail back into the front room to see the pumpkin sitting in the middle of the floor. Suddenly the pumpkin lit up, its eyes living flames! The boys couldn’t help but looking into them, then their eyes took the colour as well.
The pumpkin started whispering to them a voice in their heads. They had to do what it said. They could still think freely they had to obey anything the pumpkin commanded.
There was one more voice they could hear. They could hear each other. The power of the pumpkin was doing this by accident.
Then the voice said “Reach into the pumpkin and get a hand full of sand.†So they did.
Then they could see these two circles on the floor with complex patterns around them and without being told they poured a thin layer of sand on the lines. Without trying they did it perfectly. After they were finished they stood back without wanting to. They tried to move but it just made them weaker. They were then told a witch was buried underneath the pumpkin patch and she could only get up if we were to crush all the pumpkins and chant the ritual. Then Harry thought of it, George could hear him and Harry had a plan. He told George his plan.
George went outside to the pumpkin patch to smash the pumpkins but Harry stayed there and picked up a steel hammer from the tool box in the kitchen. Then brought it into the living room. He lifted it high then brought it down on top of the pumpkin sending broken pieces of pumpkin everywhere! Then just after, it said “How, how did you disobey me?â€Â
“You said all the pumpkins - that includes you too.â€Â
Suddenly the pumpkin’s flames died and the kids eyes reverted to their original colour. George then walked in.
“So it worked them?†gasped George
Ringgg, Ringgg, the boys looked at each other then at the door. They went to the door to see there parents standing in the kitchen.
“Explain to me why the kitchen door was unlocked at this time and you’re not in bed, oh and what’s this there’s sand everywhere,†bellowed Mum
Harry and George ran up to their mum and gave her a massive hug.
“And don’t forget the smashed pumpkin,†said George
“Stop joking George, I’m not in the mood and why is the fire on in this weather? You’ll be roasting.â€Â
“What!†said the boys in unison?
Harry and George walked through in to the front room to find the pumpkin bits gone and the fire place lit, and if they stared at its heart they could see a dancing flame flickering in the light!
Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2009 reserved by Alexander John Watson. The right of Alexander John Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. |
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Anime Jason
Owner
Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834
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Subject: With a title like that, you know he's in trouble already. [Re: The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 02:20:03 pm EDT (Viewed 545 times) |
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anime.mangacool.net
(10.0.255.1) using
Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X (0 points)
Funny how Vinnie can be so clumsy and yet so devious at the same time. It's almost perfect that Liu Xi is fairly devious herself (only a whole lot less clumsy).
And the timing is perfect too, because I'm out of story ideas at the moment so I'm stretching the ones I still have in stock as long as I can until I think of something.
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killer shrike says nice story and good to hear from you
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Subject: Apparently Vinnie's picked up some tricks from Con Johnstantine [Re: The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 02:58:19 pm EDT (Viewed 8 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows Vista
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killer shrike
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Subject: Smashing Pumpkins has never been so entertaining as it was here. Good job. [Re: And here's an added extra from Alex Watson (11) with his debut story on the PVB] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 03:03:23 pm EDT (Viewed 8 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows Vista
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Nitz the Bloody
Member Since: Mon Jun 21, 2004 Posts: 139
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Subject: Good spooky fun. I missed reading BZL stories, so I'm glad I took the time to stop in on this [Re: The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 04:31:55 pm EDT (Viewed 489 times) |
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Posted with Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X
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HH wants board chatter, dammit!
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Subject: You know what's better than stories? Long irrelevent reply threads. So... who here believes in ghosts, then? [Re: Nitz the Bloody] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 08:45:17 pm EDT (Viewed 9 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
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HH
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Subject: If so he probably should ask for his money back. [Re: killer shrike says nice story and good to hear from you] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 08:45:59 pm EDT (Viewed 8 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
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HH
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Subject: No virgins were harmed in the making of this episode. [Re: Anime Jason] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 08:55:04 pm EDT (Viewed 12 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
I was trying to write a self-contained story (given that I have three other PV multi-part tales still awaiting conclusion, the Forest Week thing, Tom Black, and the Herringcarp Asylum horror story - I haven't forgotten), so I forced myself to curb the cutaway scenes and sub-plots, but otherwise we'd have seen something of Hagatha Darkness and her charges and possible some material with Chiaki doing an orientation at St Jude's; maybe also some of the LL follow up to the factory's sales legers (plenty of things for the detective types to do, followed by plenty of things for the vampire/cultist smashers to do). Clearly if anyone's inspired to fill in any of the blanks then they're welcome to; this is the PV after all.
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HH
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Subject: I'm pleased there was a clever trick to resolve things in the end. That last twist is important in telling a good story. [Re: And here's an added extra from Alex Watson (11) with his debut story on the PVB] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 09:19:19 pm EDT (Viewed 8 times) |
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killer shrike
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Subject: Not me. Nor do I believe in the existence of angels, the theory of evolution, or the findings of the Warren Commission [Re: HH wants board chatter, dammit!] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 10:51:58 pm EDT (Viewed 8 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows Vista
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HH
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Subject: Then how can you know how many angels can dance on the head of Darwin? [Re: killer shrike] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 10:56:05 pm EDT (Viewed 8 times) |
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killer shrike notes Galapagos is a totally made up sounding name
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Subject: I don't believe in him either [Re: HH] Posted Sat Oct 31, 2009 at 11:32:00 pm EDT (Viewed 8 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows Vista
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Anime Jason
Owner
Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834
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Subject: Physically, anyway. [Re: HH] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 01:50:01 am EDT (Viewed 506 times) |
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anime.mangacool.net
(10.0.255.1) using
Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X (0 points)
It's funny you say that, because for the longest time I've had the image in my head of Chiaki as a schoolteacher somewhere. It would show off her more "zen" side, because you can't exactly get angry at kids and slice them up. Plus with her calming demeanor, it seems like a perfect match somehow. And what kid wouldn't want their teacher to be a ninja or a samurai?
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CrazySugarFreakBoy!
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004 Posts: 1,235
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Subject: The Ghost Taxis fill a number of niches, don't they? [Re: The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 02:44:43 am EST (Viewed 498 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 4.0; on Windows Vista
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CrazySugarFreakBoy!
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004 Posts: 1,235
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Subject: I am open to the possibility of ghosts, but their existence is not nearly as much of a certainty as that of Sasquatch. [Re: HH wants board chatter, dammit!] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 02:46:31 am EST (Viewed 507 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 4.0; on Windows Vista
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CrazySugarFreakBoy!
Member Since: Sun Jan 04, 2004 Posts: 1,235
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Subject: As the saying goes, "What a TWIST!" Actually, though, this story contained several twists. :) [Re: And here's an added extra from Alex Watson (11) with his debut story on the PVB] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 02:53:47 am EST (Viewed 479 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 7 4.0; on Windows Vista
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HH
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Subject: They're a potential solution to city traffic crowding problems if only the world would consider the alternative. Those FOOLS! Will they NEVER LISTEN!? [Re: CrazySugarFreakBoy!] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 05:45:22 am EST (Viewed 8 times) |
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HH
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Subject: Well, with the loss of the Patterson evidence (to confession expose) pool ol;d bigfoot's looking pretty hoaxed right now. [Re: CrazySugarFreakBoy!] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 05:46:21 am EST (Viewed 8 times) |
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HH thinks he has a few issues with him in, but they never fully explained how he was related to Scott Summers
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Subject: Galapagos sounds like a 90s X-villain. he probably had a lot of chains and spikes on his kneepads, elbowpads and pouches. [Re: killer shrike notes Galapagos is a totally made up sounding name] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 05:47:52 am EST (Viewed 8 times) |
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HH
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Subject: Well, you expect a bit of wear and tear on vat-bred virgins, but they're easier to find than the free-range ones. [Re: Anime Jason] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 05:49:50 am EST (Viewed 12 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
Quote: It's funny you say that, because for the longest time I've had the image in my head of Chiaki as a schoolteacher somewhere. It would show off her more "zen" side, because you can't exactly get angry at kids and slice them up. Plus with her calming demeanor, it seems like a perfect match somehow. And what kid wouldn't want their teacher to be a ninja or a samurai?
See now you've got to write that, and segue into the usual "don't do drugs" story. Just don't have Chiaki getting them to put on a concert for the nieghbourhood.
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killer shrike
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Subject: He's about due for a return appearance, then, considering all the other Adamantium Age rejects that have been showing up. [Re: HH thinks he has a few issues with him in, but they never fully explained how he was related to Scott Summers] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 07:52:43 am EST (Viewed 8 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 4.0; on Windows Vista
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Anime Jason
Owner
Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834
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Subject: That's what the sales department always says... [Re: HH] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 08:34:58 am EST (Viewed 511 times) |
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anime.mangacool.net
(10.0.255.1) using
Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X (0.13 points)
Mostly Chiaki has a lot of children's stories to tell, except she doesn't tell them to adults because they're generally either too busy or don't really care. To kids though, they might be more interesting.
She's not exactly a crusader, so she's not going to try and push the kids on outsiders or clean up the whole neighborhood using the school. Besides, she knows better and more effective ways of doing that, and she's clever enough to do so without angering the local crime lords.
I haven't written it yet because I had to start her out with motivation. At the moment she has enough money to be semi-retired, but she's really bored, too. The opportunity needed to present itself, and of course, the school has to have a reason to think a young Japanese woman carrying a sword would be fit to teach their kids.
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HH
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Subject: Are they still publishing X-Men? [Re: killer shrike] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 11:43:26 am EST (Viewed 8 times) |
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HH
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Subject: Extensive field testing seems to bear them out. [Re: Anime Jason] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 11:46:20 am EST (Viewed 11 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows 2000
Quote: I haven't written it yet because I had to start her out with motivation. At the moment she has enough money to be semi-retired, but she's really bored, too. The opportunity needed to present itself, and of course, the school has to have a reason to think a young Japanese woman carrying a sword would be fit to teach their kids.
I recall Champagne hired Chiaki on some kind of retainer a while back after Trickshot left to keep an eye on the orphanage, so there's an in at least.
It also occurs that apart from Mac Fleetwood we don't have any existing supporting cast associated with the place now. Time to create some?
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Visionary
Moderator
Member Since: Sat Jan 03, 2004 Posts: 2,131
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Subject: Nice bit of dread there at the end... [Re: And here's an added extra from Alex Watson (11) with his debut story on the PVB] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 12:41:41 pm EST (Viewed 456 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 3.0.14 on Windows Vista
I enjoyed the tale, especially the way the pumpkin-devil's oversight allowed the boys to turn the tables, and hint at the end of a vengeful fire waiting to return. Personally, I would plant a lot of pumpkins on that ground to keep that witch buried. Maybe some zucchini too. Once zucchini starts growing, it never seems to run out... it's pretty mystical in its own right.
Good job!
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Visionary
Moderator
Member Since: Sat Jan 03, 2004 Posts: 2,131
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Subject: This is why Free Range Brides are so preferable. [Re: The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 12:46:53 pm EST (Viewed 540 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 3.0.14 on Windows Vista
A fun Halloween treat! Always good to see Vinnie in his element. Er... so to speak. I mean, things with Liu Xi didn't quite get that far. Not that we saw, in any event.
Great job establishing a creepy location and keeping the whole story atmospheric. I also like how you break down the differences between Liu Xi's areas of expertise, which are grounded in the natural world, and Vinnie's, which are decidedly not. It makes them a good team... no wonder he's so sweet on her. Plus, who doesn't love dry socks on a wet and chilly night?
Good stuff!
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Visionary
Moderator
Member Since: Sat Jan 03, 2004 Posts: 2,131
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Subject: I hedge my bets on that one... [Re: HH wants board chatter, dammit!] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 01:26:42 pm EST (Viewed 445 times) |
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Posted with Mozilla Firefox 3.0.14 on Windows Vista
I generally believe that the universe is so big and time so vast that obviously there are going to be plenty of things that can happen that don't happen regularly on any scale we tend to acknowledge... and so I try not to just write off an observation as someone being obviously mistaken because what they say happened would be considered "impossible". There are plenty of rare natural occurances that I will never see, no matter how much I might like to observe them (from ball lightning to St. Elmo's fire to green flashes at dawn and so on) that I have to leave room that there might really be something going on with ghost stories.
That said, I'm highly skeptical, especially of a regularly accepted definition of a 'ghost' being the cause of the many ghost sighting claims. Setting aside hoaxes, most ghost photos I've seen are highly laughable... people really wishing to see a ghost in the photo where I only see a dust spec reflected in the camera lens, or the camera's wrist strap dangling in the shot and lit by the flash. Surely the vast majority of ghost claims are from people worked up to the point where they see what they want to see, and disregard a much more natural explanation.
People are psychologically prone to seeing patterns (and hence, a "presence") behind random occurrences, and shifting mental states going into and coming out of sleep (as well as when awake and yet tired) can contribute to fear and paranoia. Being scared of a predator creeping up on you while you sleep is an instinctual survival mechanism that helped keep humans alert and alive before we had so thoroughly conquered the world around us and turned it into suburbia... it has hung on even though actual dangers have greatly decreased. All of this adds up to priming us to be scared at night, and to look for a predator hidden in our surroundings. Beyond that, we know the brain is capable of creating realistic hallucinations for us, and surely there's the possibility that in rare situations there's a misfire in a person's mind... something that's not likely to repeat, or a sign of madness or anything severe, but enough to convince them they've experienced something unreal.
So with this in mind, I tend not to believe in ghosts, but I do leave room for the idea that something may be happening that people are observing, even if I find the narrative they attribute to the event highly dubious. Could it be possible to see an echo of the past? See a person in a chair, or walking down a hall who isn't there currently? Possibly. Look at all the tricks we manage to coax out of natural processes we can readily understand and manipulate. This writing you are reading that doesn't exist in any real physical sense... but we found ways to transmit energy, shape it and get this result. Is it completely impossible that natural reactions are occurring, more rarely surely, but just often enough to be observed... something more complex than the reflection of an image in the surface of a pond, but really no more sinister?
And finally, I'll be the first to admit that, no matter how rational I may like to be, I can easily freak myself out. I've got an active imagination, as do most people here I'm sure, and if it starts going off on faces in mirrors and frights leaping out at me from the darkness, I'm not going to want to go poking around the creepy abandoned house at night. Sure, that place isn't *really* haunted... but I think I'd stay where it's light and safe just the same.
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killer shrike has gone with "none of the above"
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Subject: Uncanny, Astonishing, Dark, New, Legacy, First Class: take your pick [Re: HH] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 01:47:09 pm EST (Viewed 8 times) |
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Rhiannon
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Subject: This is brilliant [Re: The Hooded Hood's customary Hallowe'en memorial] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 01:55:32 pm EST (Viewed 9 times) |
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Posted with Microsoft Internet Explorer 6 on Windows XP
I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier but as you know I've been pretty busy and I keep meaning to catch up with stuff that's going on here. The story is great fun and I can't help ut notice that in spite of his protests Nats did end up employing one of the virgins and she wants to get married.
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Anime Jason
Owner
Location: Here Member Since: Sun Sep 12, 2004 Posts: 2,834
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Subject: Re: Extensive field testing seems to bear them out. [Re: HH] Posted Sun Nov 01, 2009 at 02:38:52 pm EST (Viewed 581 times) |
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anime.mangacool.net
(10.0.255.1) using
Apple Safari 4.0.3 on MacOS X (0 points)
Quote: I recall Champagne hired Chiaki on some kind of retainer a while back after Trickshot left to keep an eye on the orphanage, so there's an in at least.
That's still amusing, even now.
Quote: It also occurs that apart from Mac Fleetwood we don't have any existing supporting cast associated with the place now. Time to create some?
Sounds like an idea. I just have to make sure I'm not stepping all over someone's toes.
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