That was actually my second attempt at a Spider Week story. I abandoned the original one, but here's the fragment for interest's sake:

Al B. Harper carefully felt along the seams of VelcroVixen’s discarded bra. He found the neural dissipation circuitry and snapped the main control bus. It was a marvel of technology that something so deadly could be concealed in something so sheer and small.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Please. I dated Kinki the Conqueress. High tech lethal underwear was the norm,” he told the sleek supervillainess. The archscientist paused a moment then clarified. “For her, that is. Honestly. Did you really think I’d be distracted by a binary phase e-REM causal stimulator net?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“No. I thought you might be distracted by a hot topless blonde,” Vicki Vee admitted. “The mind control bra tech was just a fall back. I can usually control men’s minds with a normal Victoria’s Secret bra.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well it looks like Miss Framlicker’s negative conditioning is finally paying off,” Al winced. “Why did you want to kill me anyway?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You know why,” VelcroVixen scowled. “Your Lair Legion started it when you attacked me.”     Al B. frowned. “When did we attack you? When you weren’t doing something nasty like taking over the world, I mean.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Last night?” pouted the well-endowed villainess. “When your new member ruined my date with Jethro Screwdriver?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Which new member?” the archscientist asked. “Only we’ve had quite an intake recently.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You know which one,” hissed VV. “Spider-Man!”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Spider-Man? We don’t have a Spider-Man. We have a Ham-Boy. Maybe you got them mixed up?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Oh, he was quite explicit about being in the Lair Legion,” Velcrovixen insisted. “And then he threw spiders at me. Yuck!”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Spider-Man attacked you on behalf of the Legion and… bombarded you with spiders?”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Yes,” complained Vicki. “That’s why in addition to getting neural control circuitry installed in my underwear for you to examine I also coated it with fast-acting contact poison.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“You did wh…?” said Al before he fell face down on the floor. ***     Ã¢â‚¬Å“It wasn’t that deadly a poison,” the Manga Shoggoth assured his fellow Legionnaires. “All I had to do was seep through each molecule of Dr Harper’s body about ten minutes before exposure and fortify his immune system by terrifying it into frenzied activity. As soon as Dr Harper stops screaming he should suffer nothing worse than four weeks of incontinence.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“But VelcroVixen attacked him!” Citizen Z pointed out. “This calls for vengeance. They put one of ours in the hospital, we put one of their in the morgue.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Everything calls for vengeance according to you,” Silicone Sally objected. “You wanted vengeance when that pizza got delivered with garlic instead of anchovies.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Well, Vicki’s usually pretty good about observing the unwritten code between heroes and villains,” Goldeneyed considered. “I mean, sure, she tries to kill us but it’s usually done the old-school ways for good reasons. If she went after Al like that she must be pretty upset.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“We need to work out more about this Spider-Man,” Yuki Shiro suggested. “If there’s a vigilante running around claiming to be a Legionnaire then we need to track him down and…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“And recruit him!” CrazySugarFreakBoy! enthused. “I mean come on. Spidey! Our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man! The webbed wonder. The wall-crawler! Webhead! If he’s somehow slipped into the Parodyverse then he needs to be joining the team right away. We can dump Vinnie or G-Eyed or somebody no problem!”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hey!” objected G-Eyed. Then he sighed. “No, you’re right. If it’s a choice between me and Spidey…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“If any of you would care for me to combine your DNA with that of an arachnid I am certain I could come up with some unique combinations,” offered the Shoggoth. “Give me a few moments and I can create some maquettes of the various possibilities.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“That won’t be necessary,” said Yuki quickly. “Really. But I’m a bit bothered that this so-called Spider-Man seems to have attacked VelcroVixen by cornering her and… well, tossing spiders at her.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Poisonous spiders?” Citizen Z asked.     The cyborg P.I. checked her noted. “No. Ordinary spiders. But Vicki doesn’t like spiders in her hair.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Interesting,” CZ said, remembering this.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“So Spidey decided on a slightly different approach to usual,” CSFB! said. “He probably swung down…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“He got out of a cab,” Yuki read.     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Bounded forward in his red and blue web-tights…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Um, no.”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“His sleek black Secret Wars costume…”     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Torn denims and a T-shirt that said *** Original concepts, characters, and situations copyright © 2011 reserved by Ian Watson. Other Parodyverse characters copyright © 2011 to their creators. The use of characters and situations reminiscent of other popular works do not constitute a challenge to the copyrights or trademarks of those works. The right of Ian Watson to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the UK Copyright, Designs & Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved.