Tales of the Parodyverse >> View Post
Post By
HH

In Reply To
jack

Subj: Not enough people get their cars serviced by mythical beings.
Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 at 09:08:04 am EST
Reply Subj: Troll Markers
Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2007 at 04:55:45 pm EST


>                      Troll Markers
>
>                         by
>     
>                      Jack L. Bryson    
>
>     Sherman got in his car. He started the engine. He backed out of his driveway. Then, he drove through his town. He turned on the radio. There was a good song on the radio. He listened to the song as he drove.
>
>     Sherman left the town and drove into the green foothills. He took a left turn onto a dirt road. The road lead him to the top of a hill. He parked his car and got out. He walked around the top of the hill.
>
>     There were small stones about. The stones came up to Sherman’s shin. They were placed there by an ancient tribe. On each stone was writing, but Sherman couldn’t read the writing. Linguists couldn’t decipher it. Some thought it was Linear B.
>
>     Sherman tapped one of the stones with his foot. The stone was very heavy. It couldn’t easily be knocked over. Sherman walked to his car. He opened the door and took charcoal and thin paper. He made a rubbing of the writing.
>
>     He took the rubbing back to his car. When he turned around there was a troll sitting among the ruins. The troll held up the spark-plugs and distributor cap of Sherman’s car. Sherman blinked.
>
>     Then, the troll motioned for Sherman to sit down in front of him. Sherman stepped forward slowly and sat down. The troll was slightly shorter than Sherman. He was husky and he had a snout like face. He had bottom incisors, which came over his lip. His skin was a light grey.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hello,” the troll said.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Hi,” Sherman replied. The troll put the spark-plugs and distributor cap down.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“The language is written in Troll.” Sherman nodded. “The stones are markers. I’ll show you what’s underneath.” The troll stood up. He picked up a staff that lay beside him. Then, he tapped one of the stones three times. The stone marker slowly levitated. Attached to the bottom of the stone was a thin rope. On the rope were several human skull. After a few moments, the stone with the skulls settled back in the earth.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“These grounds belonged to my clan. The skulls belonged to humans we killed. We used them in our medicine.”
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Your clan isn’t here,” Sherman said.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“They died in wars with humans.” Sherman shifted on his spot. He sat cross-legged. The troll sat on a rock. “I’ll perform a ceremony tonight.” There was a pouch around the troll’s waist. He opened it up and took out a silver coin and handed it to Sherman. “Buy me some aspirin.” Sherman looked at the gold coin. It was a Spanish coin.
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Give me two of these,” Sherman said. The troll took out another coin and gave it to him. Sherman stood up. He put the coin in his pocket. He picked up his distributor cap and spark plugs. Then, he walked back to his car. He popped opened the hood to his car and put in the distributor cap and plugs. Then, he closed the hood and got in.
>
>     Sherman drove to town. He found a pharmacy. He got out of his car and walked into the pharmacy. He bought a bottle of aspirin for two and a half Euros. He left the pharmacy and got back in his car. Then, he drove back up to the hill.
>     
>     The troll sat in the middle of the stone markers. In front of the troll was a dog like animal. It had a long tail like a rat. It was small and its ears were pointy. The creature had bite marks on its legs. Sherman approached the troll with the aspirin.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“This my Vox. She just mated.” The troll said.
>     
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are there others here?”
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“No.” Sherman gave the aspirin to the troll. The troll had a mortar and pestal next to him. There were green leaves in the mortar and pestal. He opened up the aspirin bottle and took out a couple tablets. Then he dropped the tablets in the mortar. He smashed the tablets with the leaves. The tablets and leaves made a paste.
>
>     The troll took some of the paste and rubbed it on the wounds of his Vox. Then, he took his staff and tapped three stones around him. The stones levitated revealing the skulls. The troll chanted for an hour. Afterwards, he became out of breath.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I’m done now,” the troll said. The Vox stood up and wiggled around. It walked over to Sherman and sniffed his hand. Then, it walked over to the troll and sat down. The troll patted the Vox’s head.     
>
>     Sherman stood up to leave. “Wait,” the troll said. “These grounds are losing their magic.”
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“Then find new grounds,” Sherman said.
>
>     Ã¢â‚¬Å“I don’t need new grounds. I need a new skull.” The Vox stood up and began to approach Sherman. Sherman broke into a run. The Vox chased him. Sherman ran past his car and down the hill. The Vox chased him into the woods.